Yes We Are.

We are all getting older.

Can you imagine that you are the only trans woman in a 500 bed long term care facility where everyone is shunning you? And you will be there for the rest of your life! It is what nightmares are made of.

LGBTQ elders struggle with health care, housing and isolation
LGBTQ older adults are twice as likely as their heterosexual counterparts to grow old single and living alone, according to SAGE, an advocacy organization for LGBTQ elders.
NBC News
By Andrés González
June 26, 2024

Gene Dinah misses his late husband, Robert Malsberry, every day. He misses Malsberry’s cooking, his love for gardening, the way he fixed things around the house and the way he made him feel special and protected.

“He was just great,” Dinah said of Malsberry, who died in 2019. “I couldn’t have had a better partner.”

The memories of the 46 years the men had together are all around him. Malsberry is in the paintings he bought to decorate their home in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He is in the medals he received for his service with the Air Force. He is in the photos from a lifetime together.  
A few years back that was a trans woman stuck in a 500 bed long term care center, she was the only trans woman in the facility and she was being shunned by the other residents… I think that is our worst nightmare.
While taking care of his sick husband, Dinah did not think about his own elder years. Now, at 76, he is one of many LGBTQ elders who have no surviving relatives who can take care of them.  

[...]

The challenges LGBTQ elders face overlap with an aging U.S. population. According to the U.S. Census, the population aged 65 or over grew to an unprecedented 55.8 million, or 16.8% of the total population, in 2020. The number of people in the U.S. that are 65 or older is projected to increase by 47% by 2050.

“We treat everyone the same!”

Oh really? Don’t you decorate the LTC for St. Patrick’s Day? What about Cinco de Mayo do you put up Mexican themed  decorations? What do you put up for Pride month? Oh, you don’t decorate for Pride? Well then you don’t treat everyone the same.

An older population exacerbates workforce shortages in senior living facilities and health care institutions, and while this affects many older Americans, LGBTQ elders face unique challenges when compared to their heterosexual counterparts.

In a report published in 2018, SAGE found LGBTQ elders are far more likely than their heterosexual peers “to have faced discrimination, social stigma and the effects of prejudice.” They are therefore, the report found, more likely “to face poverty and homelessness, and to have poor physical and mental health.”

Are you forcing LGBTQ+ people back in the closet by allowing the other residents to harass them?

What about those who chose to live-in-place, to live in their homes, do you train your staff on how to care for LGBTQ+ clients?

Here in Connecticut there was “Getting It Right” from Connecticut Community Care and the LGBTQ+ Moveable Senior Center both went by the wayside when those who championing it retired leaving the program in limbo.

The Connecticut Voice back in 2022 wrote,

A recent study* conducted by the American Advisors Group found that 82 percent of seniors want to remain in their homes for the duration of their lives. Besides the emotional attachment people have to the place where they’ve spent most of their adult lives, there are also additional reasons why the senior LGBTQ+ community, in particular, is opting to age in place at home for as long as possible. One main factor is that some are concerned about being accepted in a senior living community.

As a result, a familiar home feels safe and comfortable. In-home care becomes an attractive option for many as they age and their need for help increases.

That is what I want to do… “Age in place”

Michaud explains how many people don’t realize that the aging LGBTQ+ population needs help, especially when there is someone whose partner has passed on. He says, “Everybody wants to stay in their home, and nobody wants to go into assisted living since it would be a challenge. We are finding people that may have been fully out in their life, and they go back into the closet as they age. They’ve lost their spouse or partner, and they are all alone and are scared. They don’t know if they are going to be judged, and they’re scared to say who they are and be who they are.”

Our other concerns are what will happen if you decide to live in home how will you be treated by the staff that comes into your home?

In turn, Michaud makes sure that all prospective staff members understand that they could potentially be caring for members of the LGBTQ+ community. He explains, “When I interview caregivers, I am upfront with them and ask, ‘How do you feel about gay people? Would you have a problem goinginto the home of a gay or transgender person and taking careof them?’ You have to prepare people for that.”

He also adds that the intake papers the agency uses wereredone to be more comprehensive, saying, “We are asking additional questions to make everybody comfortable. Caregiving is an inclusive system, and you have to find the right person. We take pride in finding the right caregiver for the community as a whole.”

Now if only we can get the Pride centers to have weekly “Elder Days” where LGBTQ+ seniors can come during the day to be with others… in other words, an adult daycare.

 

On Wednesday I wrote about LGBTQ+ community centers need to do more for their senior population.

Also what about:

LGBTQ Bereavement Drop-In Group for those who lost a life partner?
LGBTQ Caregiver Support Group?
LGBTQ Adult Daycare

We of the Stonewall generation should not be put out in pastures.