My Story Part 200: I remember…

College… term papers… the card files… the stacks! The typewrites, and ribbons, and white out.
That is something that today’s college student knows nothing about. Hunting in these narrow aisles with glass floors.
 

So what brought this on?
 

I’m watching this video of driving through the Badlands and I thought, I wonder how the Badlands were formed?
 

In my college days that would have been an all day adventure, driving to the city library digging through the card files to find a list of books. In some libraries you wrote down the books you wanted and they got them for you. While you had to go into “the stacks” in the New Britain Library if I remember correctly had large glass windows with glass floors.

I asked Google that question and it lead me here… The NPS,

The buttes and spires of the park were formed through the geologic processes of deposition and erosion. The rocks of Badlands National Park were deposited as early as 75 million years ago and began eroding just 500,000 years ago. As erosion continues today, fossils buried in the rock slowly reveal themselves and park paleontologists study them to learn about ancient life in the area.

I remember my grandmother used to talk about hitching up the buggy to go up to Greenfield Hill to brother’s house and it was a couple of hour trip up there from Fairfield. Then she set with up to watch the men walk on the moon.
 

This is a knowledge revolution. It is just like my grandmother going from horse and buggy to watching men walk on the moon. We have gone from many hours and traveling to find an answer to that question to find the answer in micro seconds! Think on that for a second.

I asked my favorite AI, Perplexity AI this question…

Answer
The Badlands, particularly those in Badlands National Park in South Dakota, were formed through a combination of deposition and erosion processes over millions of years.
Deposition
Deposition is the process where material is added to a landform. In the case of the Badlands, this process began around 75 million years ago. The area that is now the Badlands was once covered by a shallow inland sea, which deposited layers of sediment over time. These sediments include various types of rock such as sandstones, siltstones, mudstones, claystones, limestones, volcanic ash, and shale. The deposition process continued until about 28 million years ago, creating a layered "layer cake" structure of rock formations. Key formations include:

•     Pierre Shale: The oldest layer, formed from marine sediments.
•     Yellow Mounds Formation: Created from the weathered Pierre Shale.
•     Chadron Formation: Formed from river floodplains during a subtropical climate.
•     Brule Formation: Deposited during a cooler, drier period, characterized by stream and floodplain deposits.
•     Sharps Formation: The youngest layer, formed from volcanic ash and sediment from river channels.

Erosion
Erosion began about 500,000 years ago, primarily driven by the Cheyenne and White Rivers. This process carved the landscape into the rugged terrain seen today, featuring narrow channels, canyons, and sharp peaks. The Badlands erode at a rapid rate of approximately one inch per year due to the softness of the sedimentary rocks and the area's climatic conditions, which include infrequent but heavy rainfall and minimal vegetation. The erosion process is ongoing and is expected to continue shaping the landscape.
Summary
The Badlands were formed through a long history of sediment deposition followed by significant erosion. The combination of these processes has created the distinctive and dramatic landscape characterized by steep slopes, deep gullies, and a high drainage density. The region's geological history is preserved in its layered rock formations, which provide a window into the Earth's past

I find that amazing! It even give you the references that it used. It blows me away!

But, but now watch this from CBS "60 Minutes"…



Think for a second, a quantum computer and AI… what will it create?

Think about the children who now sitting around listening to grandma and grandpa talk about “In my days we had to drive down to library to find a book in “The Stacks.” What world will they have when they turn 70?

My Story Part 199: “I am Somebody”

I am taking the afternoon off, so I will post my "Personal Statement" for grad school from back in 2007:

About six years ago, I came out as a transsexual after denying it for most of my life. I hid this part of my life from all of my family and friends.  Over time, the pressure from keeping this secret grew inside of me.  I knew that I needed to make a decision which would rectify this internal discord. As part of this journey into self acceptance, I joined a transgender support group - the Connecticut Outreach Society. With the help of its members, I began going out into the public as Diana.  I also became more involved with the group – attending their Board meetings and taking part in outreaches at colleges and universities throughout Connecticut. 

Because of my interest and involvement, the Board asked me to become the Program Director for Connecticut Outreach Society.  I accepted and eventually assumed the role of Executive Director. As Director, I have had to interface with other Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transsexual (GLBT) organizations both locally and nationally. One of these groups was True Colors in Manchester.  I assisted with their conferences and took part in panel discussions sponsored by True Colors.

The Policy and Procedures concentration relates with my personal goals in that I am now involved with the coalition which is lobbing for the inclusion of Gender and Gender Expression into the current Anti-discrimination statue in Connecticut. As a Board member of the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC), I am involved with trying to change the current regulations which govern Birth Certificates.  This change in regulations would allow for gender indicated on a Birth Certificate to reflect the individual’s gender identity without having surgery. Through the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC), we are working to make homeless shelters more Trans friendly.  Through the Connecticut Women Education and Legal Fund, we are implementing a health assessment for the Trans community - using a student volunteer.

The University’s Mission Statement fits well into my goals of wanting to bring about social change and equality to the marginized GLBT community. As I stated previously, I am a volunteer with the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC) and part of my work with CTAC is assisting individuals in the transgender community with housing, legal, medical and employment issues. In trying to pass legislation to have Gender and Gender Expression added to the state’s Anti-Discrimination Statues, I have lobbied my state representatives to bring about those changes.  I also volunteered this past summer and fall for the Lamont Senatorial campaign.  

Currently, I am on the Advisory Committee for a Trans Health and Legal Conference which will be held this coming spring (2007) at the University of Connecticut Medical Center in Farmington. The volunteer work that I do for True Colors has taught me how to work with youth from a diverse racial and social background.  The True Colors conference has also intensified my organizational skills. Through the public speaking engagements that I have performed on behalf of the Connecticut Outreach Society at the various universities and colleges throughout Connecticut, I have increased my public speaking skills as well.  

As I become more involved with the GLBT community, the more I understand the need to help overcome the discrimination that I personally felt and saw around me. I have seen families break up; friends lose their jobs after coming out to their employers and I saw a support group member evicted from their apartment – all because they were transgender.  I know first hand what it is like to be laughed at and made to feel like a freak. I know someone who tried to commit suicide and I knew someone who succeeded.  I know someone who had been physically abused by her father because she was not “manly enough” - she had to run away from home.  She had to work the streets to survive and was arrested and then beaten by the police. She then fled north to Connecticut and was homeless because there were no women’s or men’s shelters that would let her in. Now, she is living at the YWCA and has one of the brightest personalities that I have seen. 

I have seen the difficulties that the transgender African-Americans and Hispanics endure due to their cultures. I know people who have AIDS/HIV and I have seen how they have had to cope with their disease.

The more I saw the emotional, physical and psychological struggles within the transgender community, the more I felt the need to try to make changes that could over come these injustices while making a better life for the next generation. The volunteer work I do now is only a beginning - but I want to be able to do more.  I feel that having a Masters degree in Social Work will help me achieve these goals.

I came from a white middle class background and it was hard for me to breakout of that mold. I had never interacted with any African-Americans, Hispanics and homeless and it took quite an effort to over come any indifference. By volunteering at True Colors worked together with queer youth and other individuals who were not from a white middle class background, it helped me over come those prejudices.  

As a shy person, I must force myself to meet new people. The volunteer work I did with the Lamont campaign allowed me to meet many new people all on my own. I was the only transperson that was working in the West Hartford office.  This forced me to either overcoming my shyness so that I could interact with others or else sit in a corner by myself throughout the campaign.  In addition, going out into the public as Diana was a very fast way to become immersed in new life experiences -- it was either sink or swim.

The outreach that I do helps me in overcoming my fear of public speaking while building my self-confidence.  For example, one particular speaking engagement I had with True Colors at Central Connecticut State College (CCSU) had an audience of approximately two hundred students, professors and Department of Children and Family (DCF) employees.

I feel that what I have learned since I have come out reflects the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). One of my lessons learned includes to value diversity.  I have learned to look beyond the color of a person’s skin; to look beyond if they are rich or poor or whether they are from the suburbs or the inner city.  I have looked within the person - to see their full potential. Before I came out, I lived in fear and shame. I was afraid that someone would find out about my great secret and my self-worth suffered accordingly.  In coming out, I leaned self-acceptance and in gaining this acceptance came empowerment. This has become a valuable tool in which to help others.  Self-acceptance allows one to not only believe in themselves but that all things are possible – even social change and social justice.  I think the Reverend Jesse Jackson said it best in his poem “I am Somebody” -- we are all somebody and we can never forget that.

Every Christmas The Sear’s Holiday Catalog Arrived.

Millions of children they rushes to the toy section to dream of what they would find under the tree on Christmas morning.

But for me it was to dream of Christmas dresses and shoes and dolls and doll houses. What about you? What did you dream of what the catalog arrived?

Reprint from a 2010 post on December 24^th:

My Story Part 57 – Doors

Today I am writing about doors, all type of doors and the first doors that I am writing about is the standard ordinary doors that you walk through. It was interesting to have a gentleman open a door for me, I was awash with feeling. Everything from “wow this is nice” to “what have I done to deserve this treatment” to “why am I being treated special”. A couple of times it has been a little scary, one time a guy read me as a trans-woman and just let the door close in my face. Sometimes it can be comical, like the time a guy also read me as trans, and his jaw hit the ground, the look on his face was priceless.

Another type of door where women get preferential treatment that I won’t complain about is at an intersection with stop signs. I have noticed a slight, I emphasis slight, preferential treatment at a four way stop. I have noticed that guys tend to wave women ahead of them in the intersection more so than with men. However, with parking spaces it is first come no matter what your gender.

An internal door for me opened up, I am more outgoing. I have nothing to hide anymore; I am not worried that my deep dark terrible secret will come out. Before I transitioned, I had a limited number of friends, now I have a broad circle of friends. From birth until my fifties, I very rarely set foot outside of my town and when I did so it was mainly because of work. I never went to a play or out to dinner with friends. All my life I only knew white, middle class Christians, now I know people from all social-ethnic backgrounds. I know writers, actors, playwrights, photographers and television producers. My life is so much richer in knowing them. One of the other doors that opened was that of the world, I never traveled outside of town; when I came out, I started going to Provincetown MA, for Fantasia Fair, to Boston for First Event. I never went to Hartford; the last time that I went in to Hartford was when my father use to work there and he retired in 1974. Now I am there on a weekly basis.

Other darker doors have opened, I never knew anyone who had attempted or committed suicide, I never knew anyone who had to make their living off the streets, and I never knew anyone who had HIV/AIDS. I never knew anyone who was assaulted because of who they are or fired from a job or thrown out of a restaurant. Sadly, I do now. The anonymous commenter who left a comment two days ago criticizing me for using the work hate, I bet he doesn’t know any of these people or he only sees them in some abstract forms. My field instructor asked me when I was starting my first internship what was my support system, I didn’t know what she meant, I do now and I had to use it several times since. This year I was attending a meeting with the Court Support Services Division and they were looking for safe houses for teenagers who were forced into white slavery. They had about 45 runaway teenagers who were kidnapped from the Bridgeport bus station, forced addicted to heroin and then pimped out that the CSSD needed to find safe house for them. That meeting I will never forget. It opened my eyes to side of Connecticut that I never knew existed.

Since I have come out, many doors have opened for me, both good and bad and I have a favor to ask of you. Open your door to someone who may not have a family to go for whatever the reason this holiday season. I am one of the lucky ones; I will be with my brother’s family.

---

Since I wrote that back in 2010 many other doors have opened for me. One that I am most proud of is being appointed to the Governor’s Hate Crime Advisory Council, I feel humbled to be have been appointed on it. Since I wrote that I graduated with my MSW and became the Executive Director of the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC) and that opened many other doors for me including being appointed to the Legislative LGBTQ Health and Human Services Network. And now I am opening the door on LGBTQ+ seniors.

My Story Part 195: Allies

We get allies from strange places like at an accident.

Well three of Septembers ago I got in a car accident at the Bourne Rotary South, I know that it is the south rotary because that is what the police report said. So I ended up giving her my business card when she saw that I was an executive director of a trans and she says that she supports trans rights, that she voted for “Massachusetts Question 3.” You never know where we are going to find allies, so I give her my elevator speech thanking her for her support.

I went to the deli at the local market, when my number was called I walked up to the counter to order and lady at the counter looked at me and said, “Oh I saw you on the news last night, you are so right we need to pass that law. You never know where we are going to find allies, so I give her my elevator speech thanking her for her support and told her to tell her legislator to vote for the bill.

I was giving a workshop at a conference and the location was in an armory and because it was a “military base” I had to submit my presentation a week in advance and they would show the presentation. Well after it was over the solider said to me that she learned a lot from watching the workshop.  You never know where we are going to find allies.

Many of you know that I do a meme on Saturdays well one time I mentioned that I needed someone to proofread my term papers and a person who also plays the meme said she would do it. Now she was from the Bible Belt and was a person of faith. I said that I would be honored for her to proofread my papers, she also read my blog and was asking questions. She wanted to learn and understand. Well one comment she made raised the hackles of a trans person and she let her have it, she didn’t any thing back calling her a bigot and used foul language (It is one reason why the comments need to be approved.). she told me to find someone else to proofread and she stopped playing the meme each week.  You never know when we turn away a potential ally by our words or actions.

One of the things that I always try to do is present a good image for the trans community, we always need more allies.

My Story Part 194: Diana’s Excellent Adventure [New]

[New from Memorial Day Weekend]

DAY 1

For the holiday weekend I got in my car and headed south to Long Island but you run into a small problem, Long Island Sound, it is 150 miles to drive their house and requires driving through New York City, but there is a shortcut that cuts it down to 120 miles and it allows you to sit back and have breakfast or a cocktail.

So at 7 AM Saturday morning I headed down to New London to catch the New London to Orient Point ferry.

I decided to take the car and not park it because the fare for me and the car was only about $20 dollars more for a walk-on if you figure in the parking fee for four days.

The trip over was boring! You couldn’t see more than a couple of hundred feet because of the thick fog, and every few minutes the ship’s fog horn blew. Pulling into Orient Point I hoped that the captain knew where he was because you couldn’t see the dock until it was right in front of us.

As soon as I got a couple hundred feet from the water the sun was out but I had to pull over to the side of the road because my GPS showed me in the middle of Long Island Sound and was telling me to make the next legal U-turn. Then blink, it was updated and I headed to my friend’s house on the South Shore. There I met their other house guess who I had met before, we then all headed out for dinner at “The Pines” on Fire Island at the Bistro there. We took the ferry over there from Sayville.

These are not your car ferries but are greyhounds zipping back and forth across Great South Bay.

I have been over to Fire Island a couple of times but that was to Fair Harbor, there they cottages are more middle class cottages but the Pines well there is money there, the yachts moored there were in the six figures and there was an open house and it was going for a measly $1.6 million.

We were early for the out reservations, there were a few showers as we waited for the restaurant to open, my friend’s husband took a tour of the open house to see how the other half live.

The restaurant was nice, it was nothing special other then being a Gay Heaven with scantly clad men walking around.

DAY 2

During the morning and early afternoon we got ready for an afternoon backyard party and in the late afternoon and early evening they had guests over for the picnic.

DAY 3

We went to a pool party at one of their friends that I had met before at a picnic at Fair Harbor on Fire Island, their I met a woman who we are friends together on Facebook for the first time. We were all fascinated over an “owl” they have next to their pool.

DAY 4

The party’s over and it was time to head home, after some discussion on the easiest way (Coming to their house my GPS took me through all these small towns and villages… (Go a half mile and take a left, in 300 feet turn right, then left…) and the way back I went on divided highways and was much more direct but slightly longer.) to get to the ferry I headed off. I had planned on an hour drive and be at the ferry about an hour/forty-five minutes before the 3 o’clock ferry that I had the reservations for but I was early and the 2 PM ferry was just leaving, so I was the first inline for my ferry. Which resulted in me being right at the stern of the ship.

As I left the ferry I pulled over to let my GPS updates my location (Once again the GPS showed that I was in the middle of Long Island Sound.) and the drive home was bad, there was no residual Memorial Day traffic.

It was a very good weekend, with good friends.

~~~~~~~~~

One of the things that was very nice was that everyone was cisgender and nobody had any problems with me being trans, everyone was warm and friendly.

“The Pines”

I would recommend to anyone who is gay to go there, it is actually gayer than Provincetown! I didn’t see that many lesbians but as my straight friends said there is a lot of “eye candy” there to watch. I always wondered what the Pines were like and now I know.

My Story Part 150 – Trans Conferences [Reprint from January 31, 2013]

[Reprint from January 31, 2013]

Last Saturday I headed up to Peabody MA for the “First Event” conference to attend some workshops and to catch-up with some old friends (We want to give a workshop at the Massachusetts NASW conference next year.).

I first went to “First Event” back in 2001 and I went up with a couple of friends, in my diary I wrote,

I came down with a cold on Thursday and was out of work for Friday. When I went up to the Tiffany Club's "First Event" on Saturday I was still feeling the effects of the cold. I went up with T and G, we had light snow all the way and the driving was slow. But, we made it all right. At the Banquet we all had a good time with good food, old friends and some new friends. We had a good turnout for the COS {Connecticut Outreach Society] crew with nine members.

Back then it was a very special occasion to go to the conference because I hadn’t transitioned yet and I was just started to poke my toe out the door. I had only been to Fantasia Fair that fall for a couple of days and other than that I had never been out of my house as Diana except to attend the support group meetings.

The following year I went up to First Event for the conference, Thursday through Sunday. In my diary I wrote,

I had a great time up Tiffany’s Club “First Event”.
The only down side was on the way up we had a flat tire on the Mass. Pike, we were three old ladies (I went up with T and R) changing the flat and the truck drives passing us by were honking their horns at us. Luckily the weather was good and we were able to safely pull off the road.
[…]
That evening I went to their Banquet where they hand out their awards and their guest speaker was Jennifer Levi who is a staff attorney for GLAD and she talked about the gains that we have made throughout the year.

Little did I know then that four years later I would be working with Jennifer here in Connecticut on the Anti-Discrimination Coalition to pass Connecticut’s gender inclusive Anti-Discrimination law.

I go on to write…

On Monday morning at work everyone asked you, “How was your vacation?” and you have to answer, “Ok, I guess.” When what you really want is stand on your desk and yell, “It was fantastic!” But, you know they would never really understand. Oh, well.

That was one thing that I hated, having to tell white lies and not being able to share my weekend with others. I even had to lie to my family, so I told them a white lie that I was going to a Linux computer convention for the weekend. But that lead to another problem…

I also learned that [my brother] was in Burlington, MA on Friday and was thinking about stopping by for a drink. Boy, would he have had a surprise (Can you imagine him walking in to the hotel and asking for the computer convention and learning that they only had a transgender conference there?). That’s another reason to tell him, but I still feel that I would place an unreasonable burden on him and that it would also be selfish of me. That was one of the reasons I went to some of the seminars, to learn how to come out to [my brother]. It’s no simple matter, some of the ones that came out to siblings were rebuffed and others had no problems with their brothers or sisters. You just don’t know which way it will go.

I came out to him the following month.

I attended First Events until 2005, by then I was just about living fulltime as Diana and there was really no need to go to a conference like Frist Event again. I didn’t need a “Safe Space” anymore and that what conferences like First Event provide, a place where you can be yourself without having to worry who will see you. It is also one of the reasons why attendance at these conferences is declining; there is less of a need to go to conferences like First Event because the world has become a little more accepting of trans-people. The “Be All” conference in Chicago was canceled because of low attendance and even the COS Banquet will not happen this year also because of low turnout.

When I was writing this I was going over a number of old photos taking at conferences, not just First Event but also Fantasia Fair; it is something that I have a lot of, photos of me at the conferences. It seems like a “rite of passage”… everywhere you look at these conferences there are people having their photo taking. This photo is from the 2004 conference and you can see how much I have changed over the years. In the fall of 2004 I started taking hormones and electrolysis and my face started looking my feminine.

My Story Part 173 – Is This Yours Or Is It Some Strange Seaweed? [Reprint from July 01, 2021

[Reprint from July 01, 2021

[This time when I went to Fire Island I brought a spare wig.]

Ever get rolled around in the surf?

Rolled up on to a the beach and deposited like some “flotsam” from a shipwreck?

Well I have on Fire Island in New York.

The day began bright and early at a couples house on Long Island, we had a long day ahead of us and I didn’t know the adventure that I had ahead of me that day. We were going to a picnic out on Fire Island in the town of Fair Harbor and here is My Story Part 127 from 2012…

---

But first, I had great time out on the island and I think I fell in love with Fair Harbor.

On Friday morning I drove down to a friend's place down in New London to leave my car with her and she drove me to the Orient Point ferry terminal. I had a nice trip across the sound over to Long Island on board the New London; the trip took an hour and twenty minutes to cross the sound. On the way we went by the Plum Island (Plum Gut) lighthouse and the Orient Point (Coffee Pot) Lighthouse. (click on image for a full size picture)

It was a very humid day where the ocean and the sky kind of blended together and you couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. At the ferry slip at Orient Point, there was the car ferry and the high speed ferry that were heading back to New London.

When we docked, I was met by the wife of a couple that I know who live on Long Island and she drove me back to their house.

Saturday we drove out to the ferry to Fair Harbor on Fire Island, we were going to party at the island’s doctor's house. The house is used for a visiting doctor, the island residents invite a doctor to come out for two weeks free in return he is the on call doctor for the town (As I understand it). The couple that I was visiting, the wife sings with a group of people who sing traditional music on Long Island and the doctor’s wife is a member of the group. This is the ferry that we came over to Fair Harbor on… And the ferry slip. What surprised me was the speed that the ferry traveled, my inexperienced guess was 25 knots (compared to the Orient Point/New London ferry which I would guess traveled at 10 knots), we were passing out pleasure boats like they were standing still. I sat on the top deck with my friends and I was sheltered from the wind by the wheelhouse.

On the island there are no cars so the only way to get around is by walking or bicycling. The center of Fair Harbor is a the doctor’s office, the fire station, a general type store and a restaurant, all within about a hundred yards Around the corner is the food store and the walkway to the ocean (that is the ocean in the distance, about a quarter mile) and as you can see, bicycles are the main form a transportation. All the “street” are only four or five feet wide and all along the streets are summer cottages on lots that are around 90’ by 100’, some of them are nicely landscapes will others are hidden away behind hedges.

                          








The streets are crowded with foot and bicycle traffic and if you have to carry something, you can always use a wagon. The doctor's wife met us at the ferry with a wagon and we piled the bags that we were carrying on it. They even had a place by the ferry to store your wagons...

In the afternoon I headed over to the ocean side to cool off in the ocean and the water temperature was just right, I could have stayed in it all day.

I was out in the water up to my waist, out pass where the waves were breaking and when a wave came in it usually rose up to my chest and when a big wave came in I jumped up to let it pass. I was enjoying myself with the group when… I looked up and there was a wave about two feet taller than me and it was starting to break… right on top of ME!

When I stopped being tumbled in the surf, I felt to the top of my head and my wig was gone!!!!! I frantically looked around for it, but I didn’t have my glasses on and I couldn’t see it anywhere. PANIC! Panic, panic… what do I do? How can I go back to the party? How can I go back on the ferry? PANIC!

What seemed like a life time went by (in reality it was only 4 or 5 minutes), this woman came up to me and said, “Is this yours or is it some type of seaweed?” Whew! Thank you, thank you, thank you! She was holding my wig down in the water. I was so embarrassed, I was it total panic mode. I don’t know what I would have done if she didn’t find it or if someone found it.

So the rest of the day was uneventful. We took the 9:30 ferry back to the main island after watching a beautiful sunset.










On Sunday it was another extremely humid day, we drove over to the north shore to Northport and walked along the walkway in the park. The bay was a forest of masts from all the sail boats.

Afterwards, we drove around the north shore and down a number of winding roads, past big estates nestled along the shore to we got to Huntington Harbor Lighthouse.

Today I came home on the 8:00AM ferry to New London, my friend came picked me up and brought me to my car. I was home by 10:30. It was a beautiful weekend and I enjoyed it immensely. As usual all my worrying before hand was for nothing. I survived the temporary lose of my wig and quickly got over it. 

---

To this day she thinks that I was a cancer patient who had chemo.

Lesson learned:

#1 Bring a spare wig!
#2 Keep a spare set glasses in the car.
#3 When you thinks everything is going your way natural throws you a giant wave to knock you over.
#4 Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best
And
Always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Monty Python

My Story Part 174: The First Time [Reprint from July 28, 2021]

[Reprint from July 28, 2021]

(Switch Day!)

View from my desk

We all have started off on a new job and know how nerve wracking and rewarding it can be, but now imagine what it would be like if you started off your new job as a woman for the first time.

In 2007 I got laid off, transitioned, changed all my legal documents including grad school and in the following year I started my internship at a women’s rights organization.

Talk about stress!

Remember those little quizzes in women’s magazines about life stresses; 20 points for a divorce, 10 points for being laid off, etc. Well I always thought we should a 100 points for transitioning and that year I hit jackpot!

So that morning I got ready to go to work… I actually wore a dress! And for those that know me that’s amazing.

The first hurdle was getting by building security. The building housed the YWCA and other non-profits and they had a separate entrance than the YWCA besides the YWCA offices, there was NARAL and CWEALF (Where I was interning).

“Hi! I am the new intern at CWEALF.” and all he said was “Second floor to your right.”

And so began my internship.

I know that crossdessers dream of going to work as a woman but really it isn’t all that exciting, you are concentrating on your work, not your clothes.

My desk overlooked the Capitol and swiveling around in my chair I could look out and see the Capitol dome and one of my duties was to go down to the Capitol to pickup the mail and to drop-off the mail. (Yes, the legislature does have its own mail room and I also wrote a weekly newsletter that was sent to every legislator.), so I got to know the Legislative Office Building (LOB) pretty well.

Lobby Day

Another thing that I did as an intern was to organize a Lobby Day (Here I am helping trans people find their legislators).

Testifying on a trans bill 

There are no dress codes for the LOB; jeans, a tee shirt, and sneakers are perfectly fine but being from the old school I prefer business dress so I always wore slacks, a blouse, and flats. I feel that as a representative of a non-profit that I should present a positive profile.

After graduation I found myself giving testimony at public hearings. I also

Press conference at the LOB

have been part of press conferences, a couple of times the press conferences we held at the LOB in hearing chambers with different legislators including the US senators and congressmen. 

I am on a legislative committee and also the governor’s council on hate crimes so I have to look my best when I attend those meetings. Most of the other meetings that I attend are at various state agencies such as the Department of Aging and Disability Services.

With Dress Barn out of business and the wig store closed I have to find a new clothing source for plus size clothes. While for shoes I go to Footprints on the Berlin Turnpike, they care large size shoes and the staff will measure your foot. I have bought everything from ankle boots to sneakers to mid heel dress pumps.

~~~~~~~~~

Switch day is usually either Saturday or Sunday when the motels or cottages usually end their week, those days are usually mobbed with people either coming to the Cape or leaving the Cape. For me it is the day I come or leave the Cape.

My Story Part 175: Jury Duty [Reprint from August 19, 2021]

 [Reprint from  August 19, 2021]

This a short story today, it is very anticlimactic. 

A few years after I transitioned I got a summons for jury duty, being retired I had no problem with it as a matter of fact I looked forward to it.

One, I wanted to see how they handle a trans juror.

Two, being retired it was a good excuse to get out of the house and do something different.

And three, I had been on juries before and it was like a live soap opera. I wouldn’t want a murder trial but a nice fender bender sure why not.

So the night before I called the phone number of the court house and it was a “go” for the next day and I laid out my clothes for the next; slacks, blouse, and low heel pumps with knee highs.

I showed up at where you sign-in, the bored clerk looked asked me my name, checked me off on the list, and handed me a pamphlet. She said that we couldn’t listen to the radio because it might have something about the trial, and she asked me if I had any reading material related to the trial, I said no unless we are on the planet Darkover.

I walked in to the room marked “Jury Waiting Room” as I walked in the room people looked up at me and then went back to what they were doing. To one side was a row of vending machines and on the other side approved reading material.

I got a vending machine coffee… Mmm, and a day old New York Times and sat at a table with an open seat. We each had a yellow sticker marked “Juror.”

The bored clerk from the check-in desk called us to order and showed a video of some bored judge telling us how important juror duty was. One by one we went into to be drilled by the attorneys for the Voir dire... lunch… rushed out to a Burger King… back to our very own waiting room.

The bored clerk put on the movie “The Help” for those who wanted to watch. I was reading my book, but the movie kept on calling me. I would glance up now and then, but I started to get into the movie.

The bored clerk came out and said that the case was settled, and we can go home now. She then turned off the TV. One juror said that she wanted to see the end of the movie, we all chimed in… Yeah, it is almost over! The bored clerk shrugged and turned it back on and retreated to her office.

When I got home… off came the pumps and on came the slippers.

It was a totally uneventfull day. No stares. No comments. Being a trans juror was no different than when I was a cis gender juror.

My Story Part 180: Pride [Reprint from September 12, 2021]

[Reprint from September 12, 2021]

Yesterday was the Hartford Pride.

I looked up in my diary the first Pride that I went to and it was on September 2001. Wow! I cannot believe that it has been twenty years!

The COS tabling crew, I'm on the left

I wrote back then in my diary (note over the 20 years meaning and usage of words have changed),

If you asked me a year ago if I would be in the Connecticut PRIDE, I would of said “No way!”. Even six months ago or last week I would have said the same thing. But, T caught me in a good mood and I said yes. So, here I am shaving my legs, doing my nails getting ready to go out, march and help out at the COS [Connecticut Outreach Society] table. In a most public GLBT event of the year, with newspaper and televisions reporters. I’m scared, but I’m going. As the Grateful Dead said “What a long strange trip it’s been.”

Just got back from the Pride Day festivities. I had a very good time. Sat around the COS table-answering questions people had about COS and Transgenderism. The Pride day celebrations were held in Bushnell Park right behind the state capital. As usual T got here two hours late and we got there to late for breakfast with the state legislators or the parade.

It was a very good experience, I meet a lot of interesting people and possibly some new members. All in all a very productive and positive day.

Now it is different then it was 20 years ago, the difference is that twenty years ago I didn’t know anyone, Saturday it was like old home week. I knew so many of the people there, as they went by the CTAC table we said hi and talked for awhile. I got up and made the rounds of the other booths, someone from the Stonewall Speaker recognized me and we talked, and at the Prime Timers table I recognized the whole crew at the table, I took a bus trip with them to the Culinary Institute of America and then to West Point. Wandering down some more booths we a cooperate sponsor’s booth where I picked up a couple of flags. About three quarters around the circle of tents was the Health Collective tent where I volunteer.

2021 Hartford Pride --Photo by Sue.

Then I stumbled down to one of the last tents and it was the Planned Parenthood tent and it was tabled by an old friend, I have know here since 2006 when we were at the first meeting of the anti-discrimination coalition’s meeting on passing the gender inclusive non-discrimination bill, over the years we have worked on many bills together. She is the lobbyist for Planned Parenthood here in Connecticut and a classmate at the UConn School of Social Work and is the one who told me at the Legislative Office Building that I was named in the state budget appointing me to the legislative committee, “LGBTQ+ Health and Human Services Network.”

There are so many good memories at the Pride.

My Story Part 185: Makeup [Reprint from November 24, 2021]

[Reprint from November 24, 2021]

Those that know me know that I very rarely wear any makeup, well there was an exception to that.

I get requests for interviews all the time and in 2018 I got one from Comcast… Hun?

Well they have a program that they call “Newsmakers” and they invited me on their program and they were taping it at the Infinity Music Hall in Hartford, that peaked my interest in doing the interview.

So I am wandering around the deserted lobby of the music hall wondering if this was the right place. The place is deserted. So I go into the music hall and there are people up on the stage just milling about and I walk down there, and say “Hi I here for an interview for ‘Newsmakers.’”

This woman walks over to me and says she’s someone with the show and puts her arm around my shoulders and steers me backstage. Whoa how neat is that wandering around backstage of Connecticut premier music venues! She then introduces me to the person who will be doing the interview and then she asks me the question… do I want any makeup for the show?

My first inclination was to say no. But then I remembered the Nixon Kennedy debates how Nixon refused makeup and lost the election to Kennedy. So I said yes.

The woman leads me over to another woman next to a tall director’s chairs and seats me in it, puts a towel over my dress… yes you read right I was wearing a dress and not my usual Tee shirt and jeans. I was then lead out on to the stage and seated at a desk with the interviewer.

We chatted for a while and somebody said “Two minutes” and the interviewer went over the questions he was going to ask (I found out that when you are going to be interviewed for a show like the Sunday talking heads show they go over the questions they are going to ask.) and then someone said “30 seconds.”

We sat up straight in our chairs… 3, 2, 1!

When it was over we shook hands, they said that they would email me with the link when the show came out.

I emailed the link to my brother’s family, I thought that it was neat that I was on a cable show that is on the New England News Network, the response I got blew me away!

Instead of hearing back “That’s cool!” I go emails back from them “You got to meet Eric Clemons!!!!”

Who?

Eric Clemons!!!! 

Who?

The ESPN sportscaster!

Who?

You don’t know who Eric Clemons is?

Um… no.

He’s been a sportscaster for ESPN, FOX NFL Sunday, and FOX Sports Net!

Okay if you say so. 

Photo by Comcast

Oh... getting the makeup done was really neat. Sitting up on stage with the lights, mic booms, and the bustle of the stage crew made it feel like I was in a Hollywood movie. I have been on the local Sunday talk shows on the local network affiliates for Fox, NBC, and CBS and they don’t do any makeup so this made me feel kind of neat, like it was a big production and it made the interview special.

On Vaction!

 

I will be posting some of "My Story" post while I am out on Long Island for the holiday weekend.

My Story Part 188: It Is Official

2008 Trans-Pride March and
Rally up in Northampton MA

I have retired from the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition as its Executive Director.

I have been with CTAC since the early 2000’s and I am one of the original signers of the corporation By-Laws and was there when incorporation papers were signed. I was there for all the pro-trans legislation was passed and I was there when we blocked the anti-trans legislation. I was there for the very first Trans Health and Law conference.

I was there when CTAC went from a dream in Jerimarie’s eye to the premier trans organization in Connecticut.

2009 Love Makes A Family
Town Hall Forum

But it was time to step down and let someone else’s vision take over, it is time to move on.

I am not disappearing, I have other projects to work on.

One is a project to help trans people change their documentation, it is a coalition with MCC Church in Hartford, social work students from the University of St. Joseph's, and GLAD.

The other project is with the New Haven Pride Center’s Rainbow Elders program.

I am also still active in the LGBTQ Aging Advocacy group and I am their representative for the Legislative LGBTQ Health & Human Services Network, along with the Governor's Advisory Council on Hate Crimes.

I imagine that as other groups ask for help, I will step forward and help them. 

My Story Part 169

I am tired of being angry and writing about hate and politics.

---

All my life I hid, no one knew the real me, I kept it so far hiding that no one had a clue until one day…

At work back in the late 90s we got this newfangled thing called an IBM PC (All you Mac fans out there in business it was all IBM pcs because businesses had Mainframe. IBM PCs worked with mainframe and we used MAPICS and the PCs had an emulator to connect to the mainframe.) and they connected to something called the Internet. We had 4 T1 phone lines. Wow!

But computers were old hats for me, back in 1969 I had my first introduction to computers, in college I learned FORTAN IV on a IBM 1620 which used punch cards, that was followed by BASIC on an IBM 360.

I had my first computer back in 1977 with an amazing about of RAM memory 4K! Yes, you read that right, not 4M but 4K. The computer was a Rockwell AIM 65 with a BASIC Assembler, the AIM 65 used a Rockwell 6502 processor. Then I read something about an Apple coming out with something entirely new a disc operating system and I had to have it! (Somewhere I have the original bill of sale for it) and I got mine months after they went on sale, it also used a 6502 processor but had 64K memory. At home I had a dial-up modem (Which my parents hated because I tired up the phone for hours at a time) and was connected with DELPHI via GE Timesharing Systems.

At work with the IBM PC and the internet my boss asked me to find a replacement for a transformer that we used in a power supply that we made so I went online to the search engine Lycos and typed in “Transformer” and what popped up?

“Holy S**t!”

All of these sites about crossdressers, drag queens, and transsexuals came up!

WTF!

I quickly turned off the computer and sat back and digested what just happened.

At work they offered an interest free loan to buy a PC and they gave us a copy of all the software that the company used. I got up from my desk and marched down to accounting and said I want to buy a computer.

At home I connected up my brand new PC to the internet and started searching, I found the web sites of Melanie Phillips and Dr Becky, along with all the support groups. It was one of those support groups that I found on-line that I went to, Connecticut Outreach Society.

Reading the stories of our early pioneers gave me hope that maybe, just maybe I could survive being an  out trans woman. I joined the Connecticut Outreach Society and started going out in public with the group.

And guess what, my world didn’t collapse, no one really paid any attention to me… I could do it.

---

Computers untied the world and made a community for us, but it also united the hate.

My Story Part 186: The Night That We Didn't Get Served.

Back around the turn of the century on a cold December night, sleeting and mixed with freezing rain. There were a couple of locals sitting at the bar when the five of us walked to shake the cold off of us. Three trans, two cis.

The bartender and waitress were talking to the locals seated at the bar and we seated ourselves at a booth, four of us sitting in the booth and one grabbed a chair to sit at the end of the table. We sat there for a while and signaled to the waitress which she ignore and continued to talking with the regulars.

She finally came over to us and told us that she couldn’t serve us unless we all sat in the booth, that we were blocking the aisle and walked away. We looked around at the empty bar and we all squeezed into the booth.

We sat there for awhile more and they still ignored us so we decided that they didn’t want our business.

So we gathered up our coats and stuff and went down to the A-House where we got served by a friendly waitress.

Did I mention that this was Provincetown and that one of our party was the First Selectman of Provincetown?

~~~~~~~~

I posted this by mistake yesterday. I usually write serval days in advance and I forgot to change the date for the post (I have pre-written all my posts until Sunday).

My Story Part 185: Makeup.

Those that know me know that I very rarely wear any makeup, well there was an exception to that.

I get requests for interviews all the time and in 2018 I got one from Comcast… Hun?

Well they have a program that they call “Newsmakers” and they invited me on their program and they were taping it at the Infinity Music Hall in Hartford, that peaked my interest in doing the interview.

So I am wandering around the deserted lobby of the music hall wondering if this was the right place. The place is deserted. So I go into the music hall and there are people up on the stage just milling about and I walk down there, and say “Hi I here for an interview for ‘Newsmakers.’”

This woman walks over to me and says she’s someone with the show and puts her arm around my shoulders and steers me backstage. Whoa how neat is that wandering around backstage of Connecticut premier music venues! She then introduces me to the person who will be doing the interview and then she asks me the question… do I want any makeup for the show?

My first inclination was to say no. But then I remembered the Nixon Kennedy debates how Nixon refused makeup and lost the election to Kennedy. So I said yes.

The woman leads me over to another woman next to a tall director’s chairs and seats me in it, puts a towel over my dress… yes you read right I was wearing a dress and not my usual Tee shirt and jeans. I was then lead out on to the stage and seated at a desk with the interviewer.

We chatted for a while and somebody said “Two minutes” and the interviewer went over the questions he was going to ask (I found out that when you are going to be interviewed for a show like the Sunday talking heads show they go over the questions they are going to ask.) and then someone said “30 seconds.”

We sat up straight in our chairs… 3, 2, 1!

When it was over we shook hands, they said that they would email me with the link when the show came out.

I emailed the link to my brother’s family, I thought that it was neat that I was on a cable show that is on the New England News Network, the response I got blew me away!

Instead of hearing back “That’s cool!” I go emails back from them “You got to meet Eric Clemons!!!!”

Who?

Eric Clemons!!!! 

Who?

The ESPN sportscaster!

Who?

You don’t know who Eric Clemons is?

Um… no.

He’s been a sportscaster for ESPN, FOX NFL Sunday, and FOX Sports Net!

Okay if you say so. 

Photo by Comcast

Oh... getting the makeup done was really neat. Sitting up on stage with the lights, mic booms, and the bustle of the stage crew made it feel like I was in a Hollywood movie. I have been on the local Sunday talk shows on the local network affiliates for Fox, NBC, and CBS and they don’t do any makeup so this made me feel kind of neat, like it was a big production and it made the interview special.

I Don’t Know Why? They Tried To Correct Me, But That Didn't Work

They tried to “correct” me but it didn’t work.

Their “corrections” made it worst.

It is in nature, you see monkeys and other primates do it, it is not something we made up to be “different.”

No one know why I am like this, but I know it is real.

It makes life so much harder, it is the little things that get to you.

But all my life I knew that I was left handed, the nuns used to whack my knuckles and as a results I have horrible handwriting. I don’t know which hand to write with so my writing looks like chicken scratches. (Ha! I bet you thought that I was talking about gender dysphoria)

When you are sitting at a table eating you are always bumping elbows, when you want to use a pair of scissors you have to use your right hand (But it worked out at work great! My scissors kept on walking and I had to hunt down the tech who took them, but one day I got a bright idea that stopped the scissors thefts. I got a pair of left handed scissors and no one borrowed them again. Hee, hee!).

World wide about ten percent of us are sinister, no one knows why, it is just a fact that some people are left handed.

Did you know that LGBTQ+ people are more likely to be left handed? I didn’t know either until I was collecting signatures for the gender inclusive non-discrimination bill at a True Colors conference and I noticed that many were signing the petition with their left hand. It was really noticeable, it was like 3 or 4 in a row were left handed. So like any good engineer I researched it.

Left-handedness in homosexual men and women: neuroendocrine implications

PubMed

Abstract

Although numerous researchers have hypothesized a biological factor in the etiology of homosexuality, there is a lack of empirical evidence. Previous investigations did not focus on behavioral functions of the brain. Using neuropsychological testing, we found an increased incidence of left-hand preference (defined as non-consistent right-hand preference) in a group of 32 homosexual women. A trend in the same direction was found in a group of 38 homosexual men…

McCormick CM, Witelson SF, Kingstone E. Left-handedness in homosexual men and women: neuroendocrine implications. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 1990;15(1):69-76. doi: 10.1016/0306-4530(90)90048-e. PMID: 2367617.

Are you getting where I am heading with this?

When I do diversity training I get asked a lot if gender dysphoria is real? What causes it? And I answer with asking the class, who is left-handed. Those who raised their hand I ask when did you decide that you wanted to be left-handed? Why are you left-handed? The class quickly get the message that we don’t know the answer to many questions of why we are the way we are.

My Story Part 183: Coming Together.

There are some lesbians and gays who say that they have nothing in common with trans people.

One year we were staying at a Bed and Breakfast in Provincetown; it was a Sunday afternoon, the last day of Women’s Week and the first day of Fantasia Fair, the B&B had put out wine and cheese in the common area. On one side sat the lesbians talking among themselves and on the other side sat us, never the two shall meet or would they find common ground over bottles of wine?

People who identify as LGBTQ say it's a process to tell people about their identity
KRIS TV
By: Andrew Christiansen
October 11, 2021


SINTON, Texas — Many people who identify as LGBTQ face challenges while telling people about their identity, but they can also face triumphs in the process.

Allison Williams said coming out as a transgender woman has had its difficulties, as Williams came out around a year ago.
[…]
However, Williams still lives with one regret about coming out: not being able to tell some family members.

“I was especially the most scared to tell my father,” Williams said. “I never got to tell him. He passed away whenever I was 22 or 23…I know that he would still love me.”

Sitting around that coffee table at the B&B all those years ago with the seven lesbians and about an equal number of trans people the subject of coming out came up, I forget who brought it up or if it was brought up by one group talking among themselves but however it happened we started talking about our coming out stories.

However, Apple said telling people about being transgender has been different than coming out as gay because there are more resources and awareness when it comes to coming out as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.

“It’s a completely different experience of having to work with yourself to come out and come to terms with it and come into your own identity,” Apple said.

Apple said while coming out isn’t easy, there are many generations of people that have done it before and there is still hope for people who feel like it’s not an easy process.

I don’t think that it is that much different between the LG and the T coming out, the only difference that I see is that people are more informed about lesbians and gays than they are of trans people.

Back at the B&B after several bottles of wine we had crossed the bridge and we were one group of LGBTQ people not divided but one. We had found common ground and the barriers went down, that night we met on Commercial Street. They were coming out of a nightclub where a lesbian comedian was prefrmng and we were coming back from FanFair wine tasting at Crowne Pointe Hotel (Just what we didn’t need more wine.) and we walked back together to the B&B. Latter that night we met again in the hot tub, in the morning we sat talking over breakfast.

As we departed in the morning, they on the way back to Ohio and us off to the orientation we stopped had out picture taken together.

Besides out commonality in coming out we also share a darker side; discrimination and violence.

My Story Part 182: Selling Property

When you own property you get a deed to it which registered with usual the town or county and on it the deed has your name.

And as any trans person knows, when you sell or buy property you have to have the signature notarized. So you need all your ducks in a row.

First thing first, name change, hi ho, it is off to court I go! I filled out the forms and I went before the judge. Do you swear that you… I got as many copies of the probate order that I could. So down to the town hall with the my deed to my house… paid $150 and my legal name is now on the deed.

When my parents passed away my brother and me inherited the property, but (you always know that there is a but.) the New Hampshire cottage had my male name on it!

Then when I was in New Hampshire I called the country clerk’s office to find out how to do that in NH, the clerk when I told her what I wanted to do she huffed and said you just to that on a deed you have to have a lawyer get a probate order to change the name on a deed! So I left my male name on the deed.

To this day I think what she told me because of me being trans, I think that it is probably like it is in Connecticut you just need a copy of the probate court name change and fill out some form.

So that means when we sell the cottage ten years later I have to do the name change on the deed at the sale.

Shortly after my father died we sold their house but this was before I transitioned so all the names were  legally correct, no problems, just sign the deed over to the new owner. Then their lawyer said that the secretary and used the feminine form of my name! Now I was out to my brother, and our lawyer (who I knew from a trans support group) was a friend from a support group so they both knew I was in the process of transitioning we three kind looked at one another… Hun?

Now you have to remember that I am from a small town, so their lawyer lived two houses down from my parents house, the family that we were selling it to was the daughter that I went to school with K-12 and they lived on the street behind us (The husband has guts moving to be neighbors with your in-laws).

My brother, our lawyer, and me all started laughing when we got out of the lawyer’s office, did he know that I’m trans? Was it a simple mistake? Or did the whole neighborhood know that I crossdressed?

I had one other run in with the courts, a couple of years after my father died I found out that he had a life insurance policy that as executor of his estate I had to process but it had my male name on it. So back to probate court I went, it was the same judge that did my name change and he remembered me. He said no problem he gave a court order kind of like DBA (Doing Business As) and he waive the fee.

When I bought the cottage on the Cape it was over fifteen years since I transitioned so there is no problem with my documentation, so hopefully I will have no problems with the probate court.

My Story Part 181: Gender Dysphoria

Gender dysphoria is like COVID-19 in that people exhibit symptoms to a different degree. For some people gender dysphoria is like an itch that won’t go away, while others have to transition. I have seen both cases. For me it was like a slow burn, so I took my time keeping the burn under control, 

There is an old joke… “What is the difference between a crossdresser and someone who transitioned, three years.”

Just because someone didn’t transition doesn’t mean that they don’t have gender dysphoria, or just because someone de-transitioned also doesn’t mean that they don’t have gender dysphoria.

Mother Nature loves to experiment on us.

I have seen trans people that needed to transition NOW! For me I was middle of the road, I tested out the waters first. I was living female except for 8 hours at work and I was planning on transitioning when I retired but work had other plans. They shut down the factory and the day I got my pink slip I transitioned.

The burn became too hot to control so I went to the Gender Identity Clinic of New England (GICNE) in 2004 and started on hormones then and then in 2007 I transitioned.

Someone who came to the support group once, never crossdressed in her life wanted to get surgery immediately, GICNE turned her down saying she had to follow the Standard of Care protocols (This was in the early 2000s). She went to Thailand for her surgery, I always wondered how she is doing.

I know someone who de-transitioned and became a trans-exclusionary radical male (TERM) and tells everyone who will listen about the horrors of trans people.

I know a few people who de-transitioned; one because she couldn’t find a job and she had to move back into her parents house. The last time that I talked to “him” he said that he is having a hard time being male again. I know someone else who de-transitioned because of work and family, but she re-transitioned. In another trans person the gender dysphoria is not a driving force in their life and decided not to transition.

I think they all have gender dysphoria but it manifests in different way, in different levels of dysphoria, and they cope with it in different ways.

The whole idea with treatment for Gender Dysphoria is to follow what the patient desires, the patient leads and the medical community provides the support that we need on our journey. For some of us all we need to keep the burn under control is to occasionally crossdress, for some it is only socially transition, other need hormones, while other need Gender Confirming Surgery. We are all unique. 

But then we have trans-exclusionary radical trans persons (TERTP), they want to appoint themselves as gatekeepers to decide who is and who is not a trans person. For them you have to have had surgery to be trans, anything else is “Just a man in a dress.” They want to establish a pecking order, a pyramid with them on top.

My journey has taken me to many interesting places where I have never dreamed of being; testifying before the legislature, going to Washington to lobby, being on a legislative committee, and being on a advisory committee for the governor. On the flip side I experienced prejudice and bias. My advice is to just follow your heart, to paraphrase Smoky the Bear only you who gets to decide if you are trans or not.