News Flash: Medical Examiner Report on Nex Benedict Autopsy Report

When your own government turns against you, when harassment become too much, when others look away at the bullying we are driven in to despair.

Oklahoma teen Nex Benedict’s cause of death revealed in autopsy report

USA Today

By Molly Young

March 13, 2024

An Oklahoma teen whose death sparked widespread outrage and calls for change died of an overdose, authorities said Wednesday.  

Nex Benedict was pronounced dead Feb. 8, one day after being injured in an altercation inside an Owasso High School bathroom. A summary autopsy report concluded the 16-year-old died of toxicity from diphenhydramine, an antihistamine, and fluoxetine, an anti-depression medication. The medical examiner ruled the teen died by suicide, and that the full report would be released in about 10 business days.

The findings cap weeks of speculation over how the teen died, but many questions remain unanswered about the fight that preceded Nex’s death.  

Nex had been bullied in the past over their gender identity, which did not align with societal stereotypes. Nex, a descendant of the Choctaw Nation, used the pronouns he, him, they and them, friends and relatives have said.  

Jacob Biby, a lawyer for the teen’s family did not immediately return messages regarding the medical examiner’s conclusions.

There is no place to turn, the authorities turn a blind eye, there is no hope.

Federal civil rights investigators in the U.S. Department of Education have also said they will look into allegations that the school failed to adequately address past instances of sex-based bullying.  

More:What we know about death of Oklahoma teen Nex Benedict after beating in school bathroom

Nex told a school resource officer that the bathroom fight started because a group of girls they did not know were making fun of the way the teen and their friends dressed and laughed. Police released a recording of the conversation captured by the officer’s body camera.

There is no doubt in my mind, their death was caused the politicians creating an environment of fear, hatred, and indifference that cause Nex to be looking in a dark tunnel with no end and no way out.

When There Are No Two Sides.

Google Bard

Question:
When There Isn’t Two Sides to a debate?

Answer:
There are many cases when there is not two sides to a debate. Here are a few examples:

•  Facts. There are some things that are simply true or false, and there is no debate about them. For example, the statement "the Earth is round" is a fact, and there is no other side to that debate.
•  Moral issues. Some moral issues, such as whether or not abortion is permissible, are inherently one-sided. There is no middle ground on these issues, and people who hold different views are simply not going to agree.
•  Scientific consensus. When there is a strong scientific consensus on a particular issue, then there is no longer room for debate. For example, the scientific consensus is that climate change is real and that it is caused by human activity. There is no other side to this debate.
•  Questions of opinion. Some debates are simply about matters of opinion, and there is no right or wrong answer. For example, the debate about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza is a matter of opinion. There is no way to prove or disprove either side of the argument.

In these cases, it is not helpful to try to force a debate. Instead, it is more productive to focus on understanding the different perspectives and why people hold those views. It is also important to be respectful of other people's opinions, even if you disagree with them.

Here are some tips for dealing with debates where there is not two sides:

•  Acknowledge the other person's perspective. Even if you don't agree with them, it is important to show that you understand their point of view. This will help to create a more productive dialogue.
•  Be respectful. Even if you disagree with someone, it is important to be respectful of their opinion. This means avoiding personal attacks and name-calling.
•  Focus on the facts. If the debate is about a factual issue, then focus on the evidence. Don't rely on emotions or personal beliefs.
•  Be open to changing your mind. If you are presented with new evidence or arguments, be willing to change your mind. This shows that you are open-minded and willing to learn.

It is also important to remember that not all debates are worth having. Sometimes, it is better to simply agree to disagree.

Okay, this leads me to what I wanted to talk about, some media bend over backwards to present both sides but suppose there is only one side to the debate.

NYT Publishes ‘Greatest Hits’ of Bad Trans Healthcare Coverage
Fair
By Alex Koren
August 30, 2023

The New York Times has taken a lot of heat recently for its coverage of transgender issues. More than 370 current and former Times contributors signed an open letter detailing how the Times has covered trans issues with “an eerily familiar mix of pseudoscience and euphemistic, charged language.” The contributors emphasized the Times’ coverage of adolescent gender-affirming care, and detailed how its articles are being cited in court by states seeking to ban these treatments.

Though the Times’ immediate response was underwhelming, critics had hoped that the paper might take their criticisms to heart in future coverage. That hope was dashed when the Times doubled down with a nearly 6,000-word story about the unsubstantiated claims made by former Washington University in St. Louis gender clinic employee Jamie Reed.

The piece by Azeen Ghorayshi, headlined “How a Small Gender Clinic Landed in a Political Storm” (8/23/23), serves as a greatest-hits album of all of the Times’ problematic coverage on adolescent gender-affirming care, filled with familiar tropes and tactics the paper of record has used to distort the issue.

Sometimes there is only one side. Is there two sides to slavery? Is there two sides to the Holocaust? Is there two sides to the Ukrainian war?

The Times uses a “both sides” framing to set up its story on Reed:

Ms. Reed’s claims thrust the clinic between warring factions. Missouri’s attorney general, a Republican, opened an investigation, and lawmakers in Missouri and other states trumpeted her allegations when they passed a slew of bans on gender treatments for minors. LGBTQ advocates have pointed to parents who disputed her account in local news reports, and to a Washington University investigation that determined her claims were “unsubstantiated.”

The reality was more complex than what was portrayed by either side of the political battle, according to interviews with dozens of patients, parents, former employees and local health providers, as well as more than 300 pages of documents shared by Ms. Reed.

That framing suggests an equivalence between the politicians weaponizing Reed’s claims in order to ban youth access to gender-affirming care, and advocates for the people whose rights are being taken away. But what evidence does the paper provide to back up its claim that the clinic was misleading the public?

As James Baldwin said,

We can disagree and still love each other, unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.

Sometimes there are no two sides!

You Know We Know…

 [Editorial]

That the right-wing conservatives have geared up against us. The list just keeps going on and on, it is not getting smaller but sadly it just keeps growing. There is a never ending list of laws, bills, and violence against us. The question is do I keep reporting it or just ignore the negative news?

Just google “transgender” in Google News and you get a never ending list of negative news articles and almost not one positive article.

• Juneau Empire: State association considers transgender ban on student sports
• CNN: Republicans ramp up attacks on transgender people, in statehouses and on the campaign trail
• Sentinel-Tribune: Conflict over transgender rights simmers across the USAdvocate.com
• U.S. Facing Growing Extremism in Denying Care to Transgender ...
• Texas Tribune: “A death sentence”: Trans Texas teen plots his future as proposed ban on hormone therapy progresses
• The Texas Tribune: Transgender Texas teen plots his future as anti-LGBTQ bills progress
• St. Louis Post-Dispatch: Whistleblower pushes back on St. Louis transgender center findings ...

The list goes on and on and these are just the top headline.

This is far different from the Lavender Scare because now it is well organized. Well funded by millionaires and billionaires. Backed by evangelical Christians religions. And enforced by armed militias with assault rifles outside drag events chanting death to us. Doctors who refusing to treat us. All supported by lies.

It is depressing but that is idea the Republican pogrom wants, they want to eradicate force into a dark corner out of sight and out of mind. They have even come out and said that, HRC reported “The wave of hatred culminated with a speech in which a Daily Wire commentator called for the “eradication” of transgender people…”

The government is systematically attacking a minority of their citizens for political advancement just like it was done in the 1920s, the 1930s, 1950s, 1960s, and the 1970s. Then the Tea Party came along stirred up by Trump and he used us to stir up animosity toward us. He used the Proud Boys just like the Brownshirt were used in the 1920s and 1930s to terrorize the Jews. Marching with torches to create fear among the minorities.

My dilemma is do I write about it or do I write about fluff feel good articles? You know that times are hard for us do I need to keep pointing it out? It is also depressing to write about all the hate and violence that is against the trans and LGBTQ+ communities. I look at the stats and they are good, yesterday 1235 visited my blog. It tells me that people keep reading my blog but I have to think about this for a while.

[/Editorial]

Parental Rights!

What are parental rights, the term is gathering legs and it made me wonder what are their rights?

The conservatives look at it as an on off switch… click. You’re 18 and all of sudden you have all your “rights” 17 years 264 days no rights and the next day you now have all your rights.

Liberals look at it as a transition of rights, the law looks at as a phased in process.

Then there is the emancipation of minors which when they turn 16 and they can get all the rights of an adult. From the 211 website,

WHO IS ELIGIBLE FOR EMANCIPATION?

To be emancipated in Connecticut the youth must be at least sixteen years old and also must meet at least one of the following conditions:

• must be in a valid marriage whether or not that marriage has been terminated by dissolution
• must be serving in the United States armed forces
• must be living apart from your parents or guardian and be managing your own finances
• the court must determine that an emancipation is in the best interests of you, or your parents, or your minor child if you have one.

But that is like the nuclear option, only for the last resort.

So what are the soft transition options. Findlaw has a good article about this topic,

What are the Legal Rights of Children?

Children, or minors, don't have the full legal capacity of adults. Typically, minors aren't granted the rights of adults until they reach the age of 18, although this varies from state to state. For example, in Alabama and Nebraska the age of majority is 19. In Mississippi, it's 21.

Because children are still developing both physically and mentally, they aren't considered capable of handling the same rights as mature adults. For example, children don't have certain political rights like the right to vote. They can also not own property, consent to medical treatment, sue or be sued, or enter into certain types of contracts. As their level of competency concerning these matters is considered to fall below required thresholds, children are not afforded these rights.

However, children do have some legal rights as soon as they are born. They are entitled to human rights and civil rights, for example, as any other human being is. They also receive other rights as they grow up. Additionally, children are able to access some of the rights available only to adults, such as legal actions, when a parent or legal guardian acts on their behalf.

Did you get that? “... Additionally, children are able to access some of the rights available only to adults…” So a parent rights are not absolute.

Some of the legal rights of children are acquired as children grow, depending on their age and level of maturity. For example, children have a limited right to free speech. In many instances, children are encouraged to form opinions and freely speak their mind. However, schools may limit the child's speech if they feel it could harm other students. This rule can have strikingly different applications for student bodies of different ages. For example, a student painting that features nudity might be inappropriate in middle school, while it might be considered cutting-edge art in high school.

In my search I came across this article in Science Direct…

Exploration for physicians of the mature minor doctrine

The “mature minor doctrine” is the common-law rule that allows an adolescent who is mature to give consent for medical care. Ethical decisions regarding consent and confidentiality should be distinguished from legal requirements. Recent court decisions have altered the law, especially in regard to consent for refusal of life-sustaining treatment…

...There is minimal legal risk in allowing adolescents older than 14 years of age to give consent for treatments entailing small degrees of risk, when they can make adultlike decisions and demonstrate signs of maturity.

And that lead me to U.S. Legal,

The Mature Minor Doctrine

The “mature minor” doctrine provides for minors to give consent to medical procedures if they can show that they are mature enough to make a decision on their own. It is a relatively new legal concept, and as of 2002 only a few states such as Arkansas and Nevada have enacted the doctrine into statute. In several other states, including Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Illinois, Maine and Massachusetts, state high courts have adopted the doctrine as law.

In the states where it exists, the mature minor doctrine takes into account the age and situation of the minor to determine maturity, in addition to factors and conduct that can prove maturity. The Arkansas statute states, “any unemancipated minor of sufficient intelligence to understand and appreciate the consequences of the proposed surgical or medical treatment or procedures, for himself [may offer consent].” The standard is typical of the requirements of the mature minor doctrine.

So there does seem to be precedent for a soft turn for the rights of minors.

When I see laws for “Parental Rights” a chill goes up my spine because it leaves out the rights of a child to make their decisions on their lives.

When I was a lonely MSW intern I was sent to a meeting with a state agency.

Taking a step backwards for a second. My MSW is not in micro but macro… I don’t treat patients, I organize rallies, protests, work on legislation, etc. So when I was asked by my field instructor about my support network I thought that I will never need one because I’m macro. Boy was I wrong!

So I was sent to a meeting at a state agency, they were looking for a foster home or shelter for a 16 year old. This 16 year old came out as trans and was tossed out on to the street by her parents in NYC, she made her way to Connecticut and was sleeping in the bus station. She was befriended by a pimp who hooked on heroin and pimped her out where she got busted.

She told the police about the pimp and he put a contract out on her. Someone tried to shot her as she came put of the court house. The state agency was now looking for a safe house for a 17 yo former heroin addict with a contract out on her.

I needed my support network that night.

So this brings me back to “Parental Rights” there are great parents and then there are shitty parents, the type that throws their child out on the street to let something like what happened to child. The Republicans don’t care what the parents are like, they see the power of the parent over their child as absolute. No exception, a dictatorial power over the child.

So what do you all think? All or nothing or a phased in of children’s rights.

The Quagmire

But it's all right now
I learned my lesson well
You see ya can't please everyone
So ya got to please yourself
Garden Party – Ricky Nelson knew what he is talking about.

The LGBTQ+ community is the same.

When it comes to definitions there is a divide between young and old, there is a divide between men and women, there is a divide between races.

Trans is an umbrella… no it is not, it means people who have transitioned,,, no it means anyone who crosses the gender divide.

Cis male and trans male… no, no, no, Cis is an insult.

Transsexual… is the word objectionable or not. Many in the community find the word highly objectional while others do not. It is mainly divided by age, many younger trans people do while others continue using the word.

We are trying to create a survey and those are some of the problems we are trying to work through. Like society today there is no middle ground, even our common language we can't agree upon. We lost the art of compromise.

Back around 2010 I was working on a survey to study the trans community in Hartford on HIV/AIDS prevention and we spent over six months on just the demographic on how to qualitate the community, if they are crossdressers, drag queens or kings, or if they transitioned?

Now we are muddling through the same quagmire on a different survey.

“You see ya can't please everyone.”

So what are your thoughts about how we define ourselves?

Taken The Child Away

Last week I wrote about the child who was trans and her parents were fighting the school over her name… well happened again and this time it is here in Connecticut.

In lawsuit, Catholic couple says religious bias drove DCF to remove gay daughter from home
Hartford Courant
By Josh Kovner
August 16, 2019

In a case involving parental rights and a daughter’s pursuit of her sexual identity, a Catholic couple from Mansfield has sued E.O. Smith High School and the state Department of Children and Families, alleging religious bias motivated officials to temporarily place the 17-year-old in foster care.

“After learning that my daughter is homosexual and that our family is Catholic, E.O. Smith High School staff members launched a campaign to undermine our parental rights, to keep my wife and I away from our daughter and to destroy our relationship with our daughter,” the father said in an affidavit.

The parents are referred to as John and Jane Doe in lawsuits against the school and the child protection agency, filed in the spring and early summer.

School officials and DCF intervened after the young woman expressed thoughts about suicide.

Well it is no surprise that the daughter is suicidal with parents who don’t accept her as a lesbian.

Research has shown that children who have parents that are non-accepting of their being LGBTQ+ have higher incidents of suicidal idealizations. For trans people it has been reported that 41 percent of suicidal idealizations than the general population.

Of course the parents see it as…

“My daughter’s history of suicidal ideation stems in part from personal battles with her sexuality,” the father’s affidavit goes on to say. The document was filed in support of the couple’s request to use pseudonyms.

It can’t be the fact that the parents are trying to force her to be straight.

Soares [The parents’ lawyer, Ashling M. Soares of Westport] alleges Assistant Attorney General Susan Castonguay improperly contacted the teenager.

Castonguay “instructed her as to what she should report to DCF regarding her parents,” the lawsuit says.

As I wrote last week,

This has always been a dilemma. Many conservatives say that the parents have an absolute control over a child until they are eighteen while many liberals say only until it affects a child’s health then it becomes child abuse.

What do you think?

When the parents deny a LGBTQ+ child too be who they are, should the child be taken away from their parents?

survey software

Oh Come On Now

It is chocolates for Pete sake.

A conservative newspaper is claiming that we are protesting a chocolate company making gendered chocolates.

• Chocolate company is slammed for making 'boy' and 'girl' flavours that are blue and pink – because it doesn't take transgender people into account
• Whittaker's Coconut Ice Surprise blocks come in blue and pink colours
• Campaign raises money for children's charity, contributing 20c for each block
• Activists, academics have criticised promotion for excluding non-binary gender

Daily Mail
By Ben Hill
18 February 2019


A chocolate company has been criticised for its latest promotion - as activists and academics claim it excludes transgender and intersex people.


Whittaker's Coconut Ice Surprise blocks come in blue or pink colours - representing a 'boy' or a 'girl' - and are a special product designed to raise money for children's charity Plunket in New Zealand.


The campaign has been criticised by academics, activists and on social media for not considering intersex, transgender, gender non-binary and gender-fluid people.
[…]
RainbowYouth executive director Frances Arns said although it was good that 20c of every bar sold was going to charity, the campaign was still 'disappointing'.


'It's a shame that they used a binary notion of gender, which is erasing many of the identities that exist in the rainbow community,' she told Stuff.


The Whittaker's promotion was inspired by 'gender reveal parties', where expectant parents hold a special ceremony to announce whether their child is a boy or a girl.
This is a big ado about nothing.

And they also brought in a spokesperson for intersex people,

Intersex university sociologist Sarah Hendrica Bickerton said she likes Whittaker's as a company but doesn't appreciate the campaign.

'I get  that they were just trying to have some fun and Plunket does an amazing job so it's really good they want to support them. But if you place the campaign in a wider context effectively it is excluding a whole range of people,' she said.

Maybe they can make one trans chocolate trans in every 200 that they make and one in a thousand intersex.

One thing I learned in life is that you pick your battles and this is not one of my battles. My battle is not eating chocolates and I don’t care if the chocolate is pink or blue (frankly I don’t find pink or blue chocolate appetizing).

What about you, what do you think?

online polls

Women v. Trans Women

Consider…
A woman walked in to the bathroom followed by an angry woman.
A trans women walked in to the bathroom followed by an angry woman.

A group of women were out in front of a store protesting the discrimination against a woman.
A group of trans women were out in front of a store protesting the discrimination against a trans woman.

A woman was brutally stabbed to death by her boyfriend.
A trans woman was brutally stabbed to death by her boyfriend.

All these sentences are true!

But one sentence in each conveys more information and making it stand out from the other sentence.

So for me I use trans women and women to convey more information, trans is an adjective and doing what an adjective is supposed to do… to modify or describe a noun. I tried to write without writing “trans” but it got very confusing using just “a woman” it sounded like the first sentence in each example. I also use trans woman when I am doing training but I don’t use it in every day conversation, that would be “outing” someone.

When a trans woman is murdered or attacked and the police do the right things using woman, female pronouns, and her true name we never know that she was trans and it was a hate crime.

Using “trans…” is a mixed sword. It is great that we are recognized as our true self but at the same time we lose part of our identity.

What are your thoughts about using "trans woman?"

An Explosion Of Support Groups

When I first came out there were only two peer support groups for trans people in the area, the Twenty Club and the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS), then came uniTy a spinoff of the Twenty Club because of a schism over leadership. After that was T.A.L.L. down in New London.

Now there is…

PFLAG now includes trans people and has meeting all around the state

New Haven Pride Center has;

New Haven Adult Transgender group,
Trans Young Adult Support Group,
Trans-Masculine Group.
Questioning Gender Discussion Group

Triangle Community Center;

Transgender Society (Adult Transgender Support),
Nonbinary Discussion & Support.

Then there are a number of healthcare providers that have groups

Middlesex Hospital Gender Support Group
There is supposed to be one in Meriden run by a community health service
Institute of Living in Hartford

So the question; is the expansion of support groups hurting one another by cutting into the attendance of the other support groups.

With all the support groups around the state where a member in the past had to travel half way across the state to go to a support group now they can find one probably within a half hour drive.

Also with more societal acceptance the need for support groups is diminishing so you tend to have older adults at these meeting. Younger adults are transitioning earlier and find support in high school GSA (Gay Straight Alliance) and in colleges LGBT centers.

Are support groups going the way of the dinosaurs?

What do you think?

Update 1/14/19 5:00 AM
There was also CT View up to around the early 2000s when they closed.