Saturday, May 31, 2008

Saturday Six - Episode 215

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six - Episode 215
1. What was the last organization you gave a monetary donation to?

Gay and Lesbian Advocate and Defenders (GLAD)

2. What was the last charitable thing you volunteered to do?
Just about every week I help out at True Colors and Connecticut TransAdovoacy Coalition

3. Someone you know comes to you in a bad situation and asks to borrow $10. Do you give them the money even if you think they might not give it back?
Yes, I do

4. Take the quiz: How Charitable Are You?

Faithful Contributor. Your sense of charity and social justice is very tied to your faith. Your charitable actions spring from both your strong sense of compassion and your religious obligations. You look toward religious leaders for guidance in where to contribute and likely participate in church or house of worship fundraisers and volunteer activities. Read up on what your faith has to say about charity and giving or find a religious service agency.

5. Do you agree with the quiz’s results?
No, I have a strong sense of social justice but it is definitely not tied to any sense of religious obligations. The quiz was biased for faith based organizations.

6. Should the United States do more to help its own citizens before helping people in other countries?
Yes, it should reinstate the funding it has cut from the budget, social services is a very tiny part of the federal budget went compared to the military budget. Programs like Head Start and WIC. The federal government should also cut out funding to faith based organizations, the funding goes almost exclusively to Christian churches and not to any other non-Christian churches or synagogues or mosques. I have seen secular food kitchens and homeless shelters lose their funding in favor of Christian food kitchens and shelters.

The Out Film Festival

Last night I went with a couple of friends to the Out Film Festival at Trinity College. The feature film was preceded by a number of “Shorts” ranging from 41 seconds to 20 minutes, some of them were good others and others just… ah… lousy, one of the crazy shorts was “Gay Zombies.” The main feature was musical and was very good:
Were the World Mine
Tom Gustafson, USA, 2008, 95 min
As the gay outcast at an all-boys prep school, Timothy daydreams about the handsome jock. But his are no ordinary flights of fancy; they're musical theater extravaganzas, complete with show-stopping songs, dazzling sets, and pirouetting rugby player chorus boys. A devilishly funny and intoxicatingly romantic musical tale of empowerment - inspired by William Shakespeare’s, A Midsummer Night’s Dream
After the movies they Question and Answers session with members of the film; the Director, the Co-writer, the producer & production designer, the Director of photography and the actor who portrayed Jonathon/ the 'jock' They also had an opening night reception following the movies, I stayed for a little while and left around 11:30.

Monday I want to see...
She’s A Boy I Knew
Gwen Haworth, Canada, 2007, 70 min
Using interviews, animation and old family footage, Vancouver filmmaker Gwen Haworth documents her male-to-female gender transition partially through the voices of her anxious but loving family, best friend, and wife. A comic, heartbreaking, and uplifting autobiography that breaks away from the usual marginalized depictions of transsexuality and focuses on the interpersonal relationships of a family who unexpectedly find their bonds strengthening as they overcome their preconceptions of gender and sexuality.
and on Thursday I want to see...
XXY (Centerpiece Film)
Lucía Puenzo, Argentina/Spain/France, 2007, 91 min
XXY explores the painful search for gender identity of Alex (an outstanding performance by Inés Efron), a hermaphrodite, as she enters adolescence and is pressured by her parents to “choose.” While Alex’s ambiguity is apparent and raises concerns for her parents and peers, her resolve to be her own person is undaunted. The rugged Uruguayan coast provides a stunning backdrop to the roiling emotions of family turmoil and adolescent forays into relationship. This stunning coming of age tale was chosen to represent Argentina at the 2007 Oscars in the Best Foreign Language Film category. In Spanish with English subtitles

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Friday Fill-Ins #74

Janet’s Friday Fill-Ins #74

1. For me _laziness_ is the opposite of creativity.
2. _I can’t remember what_ was the last excellent book I read was. I have been mostly reading textbooks for classes.
3. I like fill-ins because _it makes me thing of something witty and profound to say _.
4. In nature I like looking at _an apple orchard in bloom_.
5. _Obama_ should win the US elections.
6. The last time I laughed with all my belly was _when a comedian was talking about the time he waxed his body_.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight (Friday) I'm looking forward to _ going to the Film Festival at Trinity College_, tomorrow my plans include _ going to the Film Festival at Trinity College _ and Sunday, I want to _go hiking_!


Back in the sixties, Dr. Money thought that gender identity was all nurture, a social construct and that by raising a child as a boy or a girl would result in that person becoming a boy or a girl. The classic case was a set of twins in Canada when one of the boys had an accident during circumcision. Dr. Money advised the parents to raise him as a girl, the results were disastrous, and he eventually committed suicide. His story is told in the book “As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as A Girl” by John Colapinto. Dr Money did a famous case study on the boy, following him though out his life and reporting that the boy was successfully transformed in to a woman. It wasn’t until 1997 that Dr. Milton Diamond, with the cooperation of Dr. H. Keith Sigmundson exposed the truth, that the boy never felt that he was a woman and that he went back to living as man.
Now, Dr. Zucker is still preaching that it is all nurture, that it is how you raise the child that counts, not prenatal conditions. Here is a YouTube video where Dr. Zucker expresses his views on his beliefs; it is the exact same thing that Dr Money said back in the sixties. They were proved wrong then and will be proved wrong again. Dr. Zucker also believe that homosexualism can be cured! He is often use as a reference in articles by National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuals (NARTH) AND this is the man who was appointed to chair the on the Task Force on Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders to rewrite the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) which is the handbook for mental health professionals that lists different categories of mental disorders and the criteria for diagnosing them.
There is an on-line petition to ask the American Psychological Association (APA) to remove him and Dr. Blanchard from the committee. Please consider signing the petition.

Related blog entry:
NPR All Things Considered – “Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences”

I found the video on Donna Rose’s blog

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Memorial Day Photo

My friend Deja just sent me this photo of me at a Memorial Day picnic in Springfield...The life of Riley.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Can You Believe This?

Kindergartener Voted Out By Students

(CBS) A Port St. Lucie, Fla., mother is outraged and considering legal action after her son's kindergarten teacher led his classmates to vote him out of class.

Melissa Barton says Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo had her son's classmates say what they didn't like about 5-year-old Alex. She says the teacher then had the students vote, and voted Alex, who is being evaluated for Asperger's syndrome -- an autism spectrum disorder -- out of the class by a 14-2 margin.

…The state attorney's office concluded the matter did not meet the criteria for emotional child abuse, so no criminal charges will be filed.

I am not a lawyer but it seems to me that there are anti-discrimination that protect the rights of the mentally disabled and also federal laws about integrating special needs children into the classroom.

We Care

Last week, I learn that someone that I know had tried to commit suicide. This was her second attempt.

The power of conformity is very strong; society’s pressure to conform is tremendous. When you live outside of gender normal you can physically (getting the crap beat out of you) and emotionally (from your family, friends and strangers) feel the pressure. When you are out in public, you can hear the giggles, laughter and the comments which is society’s way of letting you know that you stepped outside of its boundaries. Your family might put pressure on you, to disown you or to try and put conditions on your visits or even try to have you committed. If the pressure is too hard to bear, please get help, lookup the local number for crises intervention in your yellow pages. For trans-youth the phone number for Trevor is 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) or you can visit “The Trevor Project” website at

But please, I beg you, get help. We care.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Yeah! You Go Jesse!!!

I found this on Pam’s House Blend

On MSNBC's Verdict with Dan Abrams on May 22, 2008 former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura said that marriage equality should not be a referendum question on the ballot in California because “…you can't put a civil rights issue on the general ballot in a state and let people vote on it, because if you do that, in the southern states before, you can bet they would have voted to continued slavery." This is exactly what I was talking about in my rant of last week that Human Right should not be put to a popular vote.

Ventura on gay marriage: Civil rights should not be up to popular vote

by Nick Langewis

During a panel discussion on Senator John McCain's recent interview with Ellen DeGeneres, former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura strongly disagreed with conservative commentator Pat Buchanan on the issue of voting on fellow citizens' civil rights.

"First of all," Ventura began, "I made a statement when I was Governor and I stand by it today: Love is bigger than government.

"Who the hell are we as a government to tell people who you can fall in love with? I think it's absurd, the fact that it's even being debated."

Marriage, being a "cinderblock of society," should be exclusive to heterosexuals, he [Buchanan] concluded. "If government wants to set up civil unions and benefits for 'people like that,' it ought to be done by elected legislators, not by unanointed judges who are behaving more and more like tyrants in this country, imposing their values on us."

"If the elected officials will stand up for what's right and do what's right with civil rights, I fully agree with you," Ventura countered. "But you can't put a civil rights issue on the general ballot in a state and let people vote on it, because if you do that, in the southern states before, you can bet they would have voted to continued slavery."

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Manic Monday

Lisa’s Manic Monday #118

Do good things come to those who wait?
No, I believe that you have to create you own opportunities, that you have to go hunt for them. They are out there for you to find only if you look.

Your best friend's spouse is being unfaithful. Would you tell your friend? If so, how?
No, I think I wouldn’t tell. I would give them the benefit of the doubt, suppose it was only a passing fling, a one-night stand and the spouse was faithful from then on. Maybe they already know and have worked it out already. Would you want to be the one to break up their marriage?

Which part of your body do you like the least? Would you change it through plastic surgery, if possible?

Three guesses and the first two do not count. :-)

Flowers Around My Yard

This is my Lilac tree that is under my bedroom window…
The Alyssums are in a planter on my back deck…
Busy little bees buzzing around my White Azaleas in the front yard…
The Red Azaleas are also in my front yard…

Saturday, May 24, 2008


This is a 15 minute short staring Lauren Graham from Gilmore Girls. Amanda (Lauren's character) gets into an accident and has to get a ride home from three transsexuals whose car she hit, Joe Holt (from Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order and he was also on Gilmore Girls) the driver. The short was written and directed by Jenny Bricks of Sex and the City, Men in Trees, Naked Truth, Dawson's Creek fame.

I am impressed with the list of organizations that sponsored the movie.

Part 1

Part 2

I want to thanks Staci on who’s blog (Femulate) I found this.

The Cottage

I was planning on staying up at our cottage in New Hampshire until Sunday but the weather wasn’t that great, cloudy, with a chance of showers, very windy and a high of around 60F, so I came home today. Its ten degrees warmer here in Connecticut and no wind.

Opening the cottage went with out a hitch, there were no problems with turning on the water. Closed all the values that had to be closed, opened all the values that had to be opened, put on all the drain caps in the pipes, turned on the water pump and sat back listening for the tell tail hiss of a leak. Silence, only the sound of the pump.

Friday after I turned on the water and the gas, I walked down to the lower deck by the water (The one I am standing on in my avatar.), the wind was whipping across the water making white caps on the lake and I went back inside to get warm and out of the wind. That night around 3:00am I woke with a start, the dock was missing! Every fall we take the dock out of the water and store in up on the beach tying it to a tree because the ice would tear it apart. In the morning, I looked out the window and the dock was missing! So, I took the canoe out to look for it but the wind was blowing me down the lake so I had to come back to shore. SHIT! Hopefully the floats are not punctured and that someone saw it brought it to shore before it got damaged.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Friday Fill-Ins #73

Janet’s Friday Fill-Ins #73

1. On my laziest day I like to _lay in the hammock, read and nap _!
2. _Helping others_ makes me feel like I'm being productive.
3. I love little _kisses_ and big _hugs_. (I know it is a pretty lame answers but its eleven PM and I am going to bed when I finish this.)
4. This summer I want to _finish the cottage_.
5. _Peterson_ made me start my blog.
6. Red _is for apples_ and orange _is for Oranges_.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight (Friday) I'm looking forward to _opening up the cottage_, tomorrow (Saturday) my plans include _working on the cottage_ and Sunday, I want to _go to a party_! Memorial Day I want to _go to another party_.

How Independent Are You?

I found this on Cat's blog: Sweet Memes

Your Independence Level: High

You are extremely self reliant and autonomous.
You are definitely into doing your own thing.
But you also wouldn't turn down help if you needed it.
You follow your own path, but you don't do so blindly.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Busy Day Yesterday

Yesterday I went to a reception for the “Permanent Commission on the Status of Women” that was held at St. Joseph’s College. The commission is part of the Anti-Discrimination Coalition and they have been very actively lobbying for the bill. It was a good networking experience and I met many people from the area who work for non-profits that support trans issues.

After the reception, I went home, changed and headed down to Hamden to “The Space” to hear a folk signer Namoli Brennet, she is from Tucson (but was born in Waterbury CT). I have heard her play at other area clubs and I like her style of music. She writes, plays, records and published her CDs and I bought two of her latest CDs, “alive” and “Singer Shine Your Light”. A number of my friends were there already and I joined them, they had come earlier to hear the open mike artists perform. I just wanted to hear Namoli at 9:00pm, I got there around 8:30 and I heard some of the “open mike” singers and some were good and others were roll your eyes up bad.

Tonight I am going to Norwich to the support group Transgender and Loving Life (TaLL) meeting. Thursday, I plan on helping out at True Colors for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then at night go up to Springfield to the uniTy meeting, I want to find out what the plans are for Trans Pride. I think I will march with the Connecticut groups.

On Friday, (as if I haven’t traveled enough this week) I am going up to the cottage in New Hampshire to open it up for the season. I don’t know how long I will be up there, it all depends on the weather and the black flies.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Live Long and Prosper

Gay wedding for Star Trek's Takei

US actor George Takei is to wed his long-term partner after California lifted its ban on same-sex marriage.

Takei, 71, best known for playing Mr Sulu in Star Trek, said he and Brad Altman were going through the "delicious dilemma" of where to marry.

The actor and 54-year-old Mr Altman have been together for 21 years.

A Silent “T” Party

I found this on Helen Boyd’s blog "(en)gendered" and I felt that it is worth sharing. Even though it was produced back in October I think, it is important for two reasons. First, it shows the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) thinking on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Second, the video is about college students who want to become teachers and they might not be able to teach because they are transgender.

Please do not support the HRC, there are so many other good Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) organizations out there that support the “T” in LGBT. Please give to them instead.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Manic Monday

Lisa’s Manic Monday #117

If you knew that every minute of the next 24 hours of your life would be recorded on camera is there anything you would change about your habits?
Yes, I would take a shower before hand and try to avoid going the bathroom.

If you could take a one-month trip to any single destination in the world and money is not a consideration, where would you go?
Some private tropical island in either the South Pacific or the Caribbean. I was watching a program the other day about private islands and they had one that rented for $45,000 a day in the Caribbean.

What is the best example of “perfection” that you can think of?

That is very hard, there are so many good things but I wouldn’t describe any of them as perfect. I guess I will give a flippant answer and say, a “pizza” it is versatile in that there are many toppings that you can add. You can choose from a veggie pizza to a meat lovers pizza or from a plain cheese pizza or to a five cheese pizza or from a clam pizza to a lobster pizza or a white sauce pizza or a red sauce pizza.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Ogunquit Maine Trip

I went up to Ogunquit ME for the weekend and I had a pretty good time. I was disappointed that there were not more members of the Connecticut Outreach Society there, when we organized the trip, six or seven members said that they wanted to go. Well there were only five of us that went and two were not any of the original members who said that they wanted to go. However, we still had a good time and weather cooperated.

I got up to Ogunquit a little after 2:30 on Friday and I met up with the other member who was staying at the Bed and Breakfast. We walked to the center of town around five and went to a piano bar to wait for the others. There were not too many people in the bar when we got there but by the time all my friends arrived the bar was packed, there were six of us, five members and a spouse and we left to go to dinner.

Since this is Maine and a shore town, that meant a seafood dinner and we went down to a restaurant at Perkin’s Cove. I had haddock stuffed with lobster (you knew that lobster had to be involved some how) which was delicious.

Over night it rained but by morning the rain had stopped and the sun was trying to come out, we drove over to Nubble Lighthouse because a couple of had never been to Maine before and we had to do the tourist thing. We then went back and walked around town window shopping. I never did make it down the Marginal Way, one of my friends had a sore knee so we couldn’t walk that long of a distance. We dodged rain showers and had lunch at a nice little place on a deck under umbrellas.

We were down to just three of us, that couple was only there for dinner and one of my friends had to go home because of a family engagement. So the three of us went to the RV park where my other friends had their RV parked and we sat around there for a little while, I made the mistake laying down in a lawn chair and dozed off. Later we went down to Ogunquit for some bar hopping, we went to this “lesbian bar” for some drinks… well it was a lesbian bar but now it was a gay country and western bar! (It turned out that only a couple of nights during the summer it is women's night.) When we walked in there was about eight or ten guys in cowboy hats standing around. I went into panic mode when I saw all of the cowboy hats but calmed down thinking this is Ogunquit, so we stayed for a couple of drinks out on the deck. Around seven we went to get dinner but all the restaurants we packed, so we had pizza. After dinner we went back to the piano bar that we went to the night before and it was packed but we managed to find some seats.

Here is a photo of Nubble Lighthouse and it was the only photos I was able to take even though I lugged my camera all around town.

The B&B was nice but the bed was unbelievable high, it was up to my waist (and I am six feet tall) and I needed a stepstool to get in bed. I can’t figure out why they wanted a bed so high. You can’t sit on it because your feet do not touch the floor and you slide off.
The bathroom had a neat shower with nozzles on two walls and a rain nozzle overhead… I want one for my house!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Constitutional Ballot Question Part 1

I think it is wrong to have ballot initiatives that can change the state constitutions. We have given our state legislators the power to enact laws; if those laws are unpopular then we can vote them out of office and enact new laws.
One of the purposes of constitutions is to protect the rights of the minority from the tyranny of the majority. Our U.S. Bill of Rights protects, among other things, freedom of religion, speech, to assembly and to petition the government for regress of grievances. The freedom of religion allows for religions that are not as popular as the dominate religion to exist with hindrance. The freedom of speech and assembly is to allow minority and unpopular points of view to be expressed. The freedom to petition the government for regress of grievances allows us to convey our dissatisfaction and to lobby our elected and government officials.

Over time, we have come to see the need to protect other segments of the population from the oppression of the majority, those that are based on race, color, religion, sex, and national origin with the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Where would we be now if the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was voted on by a ballot initiative? Or the 19th Amendment giving women the right to vote, would it have been recalled by a ballot initiative? Now on many states ballots there are voter initiatives that would constitutionally ban marriage equality. The ballot initiative is being used by the conservatives to deny rights to a minority by a religious majority, the exact opposite of what our Constitution stands for, to protect the rights of minorities.

The religious right argues that the courts are making law and its decision needs to be over turned by a constitutional ballot initiative. That is wrong the courts have regressed a grievance, the unequal treatment of its citizens. When the laws grants rights to one segment of the population and denies it to another segment of the population that is WRONG! That is discriminatory and that is what the courts have found.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Just In Case You Have Not Heard....

A press release from Love Makes A Family...

California Supreme Court Says Same-Sex Couples Can Marry!

Today, in a historic decision, the California Supreme Court affirmed the dignity of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, by ruling that same-sex couples can marry in that state.

This momentous judgment profoundly supports same-sex couples and their families, and recognizes that two loving, committed people deserve the rights, respect, and equality that come with the freedom to marry.

The decision is also a victory for every American who visualizes a country of inclusion, fairness, and opportunity for all its citizens.

The impact of this decision is enormous, directly affecting over 36 million people who reside in California, well over 10% of the total population of America.

Today's win energizes our work in Connecticut more than ever. We await a decision in our own marriage case, Kerrigan and Mock v. the Connecticut Department of Public Health. And our advocacy, lobbying, and educational efforts continue intensely around the state--this weekend alone, we will co-sponsor a faith forum on marriage equality
in Danbury, and our organizers will be collecting signed postcards to legislators in West Hartford, Brookfield, New Britain, and Danbury.

California's highest court did its job today and ensured all Californians are treated equally under the law. We look forward to the day when we can say the same for Connecticut, and, with your help, we will break down the door of marriage discrimination in this state. And that day is coming very soon.

Anne Stanback
Executive Director

P.S. The Supreme Court's decision will be posted on our home page
later today.

Update: From the Associated Press...

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger released the following statement today regarding the state Supreme Court's ruling on same-sex marriage:

"I respect the Court's decision and as Governor, I will uphold its ruling. Also, as I have said in the past, I will not support an amendment to the constitution that would overturn this state Supreme Court ruling."

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Over The Edge Homophobia

These two items on Pam’s House Blend caught my eye this morning…

Walt Bayes: Schools need separate bathrooms for gay students
Mike Butts
Saturday, May 10th, 2008
TREASURE VALLEY — Homosexual and heterosexual students should have separate bathrooms and showers in Idaho schools, a Wilder Republican running for the Idaho House said Friday...
...The topic came up after Bayes mentioned it in his campaign literature, where he wrote, “It is absolutely wrong to force any student to share the same bathrooms and showers with homosexual teachers or students.”

Now just how does he plan to accomplish that? Will he require everyone to carry a card saying that they are straight or gay? On the other hand, maybe you will have to sign an affidavit that states that you are straight before going to the bathroom.

And from the “Didn’t the Supreme Court already rule that you cannot do that” file…
Principal Questioned in Gay Rights Case
Monday, May 12, 2008 - 07:17 PM Updated: 10:02 PM
By Mark Jenkins

A principal takes the stand Monday, for allegedly violating the civil rights of some students.
David Davis, the principal of Ponce de Leon High School.
He's accused of preventing students from wearing clothing or showing homosexual symbols…

…The string of incidents began last September, when a student who was ridiculed for being gay approached Principal Davis to file a complaint.
Monday in court, Davis says he told the student not to discuss her sexual orientation with other students.
Days later, Davis heard of students making gay rights signs, and reports of 25 of them coming to school with the letters "GP" or "Gay Pride" written on their hands.
Gillman says she is not gay, but her cousin (a student at PDL High) is.
Gillman made t-shirts with slogans like:
-"I support equal marriage rights"
-"I support gays"
-"Equal not special rights"
Principal Davis said the t-shirts violate the school board dress code.

…Another interesting point, Davis says clothes with the confederate flag are allowed at school. He says they haven't caused a distraction. Of the 406 students at the high school, none of them are African American…

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Ogunquit ME Trip This Weekend

Well the forecast says that it will be partly cloudy for the weekend with a high in the 60’s. Last year the weather was lousy, drizzle with a high in the 40’s, so anything will be an improvement over last year. It is a trip with the Connecticut Outreach Society and it is for our members who want to go some place where they can dress full time and not to have to worry about bumping into someone that they know. This year we have also invited a support group from New York. In the past, I organized the trip but this another member offered to organize it. She found a B&B and arranged for us to get a group rate, other than the B&B we are on our own to wander around the town. We usually ask if anyone wants to join us for dinner, last year we went to a seafood restaurant in Perkin’s Cove one night and I would like to go back there again this year.
I have no idea how many members from our groups have signed up for the trip, if the number of rooms rented for the two nights is any indication, then we are going to have maybe ten people in our group.

Another Reception…

I have another reception coming up next Tuesday, “Making Women Visible Reception” for the Permanent Commission on the Status of Women. The commission is a legislative commission to…
“…work to eliminate sex discrimination in Connecticut. They are to inform leaders about the nature and scope of discrimination, to serve as a liaison between government and private interest groups concerned with services for women, to promote consideration of women for governmental positions, and to work with state agencies to access programs and practices as they affect women.”
They have been a tremendous supporter of the gender inclusive Anti-Discrimination legislation; lobbying and testifying on behave for the bill. By attending the reception, I think that it is a nice way our gratitude.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Manic Monday

Lisa's Manic Monday #116

If the statement, 'You are what you eat' was true, I would be a _lobster_.

If you had to have one piece of music (softly) playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?
I do not think no matter how much you like a song, to hear it over and over again will make you hate it. I love lobster but if I had lobster ever day I would hate it, the same with music. If I had to pick a song it would be something by the Eagles, “Peaceful Easy Feeling”

What is the most important thing in any relationship?


Sunday, May 11, 2008

Software Updates!!!

Agh! I had a message from my anti-virus program -– “update available, do you want to run the update?” I clicked on yes, an hour later and three restarts it is finally installed. I wish they tell you what the update involves and about how long it will take.
If I had know how long it was to take, I would have postponed it until after I was finished with what I was doing because in the past it only took a couple of minutes to update the program. At least it is my laptop, I could put it on my kitchen table and click on the “Next” box when they popped up. Otherwise I would have been stuck in front of my computer pressing the stupid “Next” box every five minutes. Grrr….!

Saturday Special

Fill in the blanks~

1. Walking along a wooded side road, I see the cabin ahead. I approach the cabin and on the rocking chair by the door I spot a key that looks like it fits the door lock. I unlock and open the door slowly and _press L to look left or press R to look right_.

2. In the cabin by a window there is a window seat chest. Walking over to the chest, I slowly open it and find _it is fill with old clothes of a by-gone era, tin-type photographs of a family and on top is an old map_.

3. I suddenly hear a noise coming from the outside, and quickly close the chest and as the person enters the cabin, he says _lassie you are welcome to try to find the buried treasure, but I have been looking for it for forty years_.

4. Laughing I leave the cabin along with _map_ and thinking to myself _now I have the last clue and when I find the treasure, I will be able to afford the medicine for my invalid grandmother_.

This bring back memories of the old adventure game Colossal Cave that I use to play on my Apple II+ computer back in 1978, I miss it!

Saturday Six - Episode 212

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six - Episode 212

1. How many days a week, on average, do you eat breakfast?
Seven, I very rarely miss breakfast.

2. If you eat a breakfast that involves actual cooking, what are most likely to prepare for yourself?
Eggs & bacon and Liptor :)

3. If you eat a breakfast that requires no cooking, what are you most likely to choose for yourself?
Oat meal (that doesn’t cooking, just microwaving)

4. Take the quiz: What Kind of Cereal Are You?

You Are Muesli

You are broad minded and cosmopolitan.
Your tastes are varied and numerous.
You like many types of things. You definitely aren't picky.
The only thing you can't stand is being bored.
You're the kind of person who can't have the same breakfast often.
Your breakfast is unpredictable, unique, and very varies.

5. When you eat pancakes, how many do you typically place in a stack?
Two approximately 4” dia. pancakes

6. How do you like your pancakes: with butter/margarine or without, and what flavor of syrup?
With butter and Maple syrup and a side of sausage and Liptor

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Blogging for a Purpose Award

My blog friend kwizgiver awarded me with this Blogging for a Purpose Award! She said, "The five blogs that have purpose: Diana's Little Corner of the Nutmeg State for outstanding GLTBQ advocacy and awareness".
Thank You.

The rules are:
1. Nominate 5 blogs which haven’t had this award before
2. each of the blogs must have a purpose
3. the nominated blogs must make a link back to this page
4. the logo from the award must be put on their blog and it must link back to this blog

Friday, May 09, 2008

Friday Fill In #71

Janet’s Friday Fill In #71

1. The _Chili_ had an extra secret ingredient; it was _Corn Flour_!
2. _I wish that the sun was shining_ through my window.
3. Right now, I need _make breakfast_.
4. _A fundraiser for GLAD_ was where I went Thursday night; it was _OK_.
5. Why does _bigotry_ hurt so much?
6. All I can think of is the _Ogunquit MA trip next weekend_.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _a coffee shop to hear a folk signer_, tomorrow my plans include _going to the support group meeting_ and Sunday, I want to _(Do I have to say? I think you know what I will say.) go hiking_!

NPR All Things Considered - Parents Consider Treatment to Delay Son's Puberty

Yesterday National Public Radio (NPR) had part 2 on transgenderism, an eleven year old trans-girl who is taking hormone blockers to prevent the onset of puberty. They are not giving her hormones that will cause irreversible changes but they giving her blockers to just delay puberty until the child is old enough to make the decision.
Doctors and More Doctors
The family consulted mental health professionals with all kinds of initials after their names. They passed out diagnoses with even more initials: ADD (attention-deficit disorder), OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder).

"I mean, every conceivable diagnosis," Robert says. "But no one could put their finger on it."

Still, while the doctors were unable to find the right label, their son seemed to understand what was going on. Danielle says that during quiet moments, like the ride from school, her child would confess what was causing so much trouble.

"A lot of times she'd come out and say, 'I'm a girl.' No, at first it was, 'I want to be a girl,' then it's like 'No. I am a girl.' And she'd ask if me if I [thought] she was crazy and I'd say, 'No, honey, you know, it's OK.' And in the front, you know, I'm driving going ... 'Oh my gosh, what is this?' " Danielle says.

Gender Identity Disorder
After many years, the family found a psychologist who had experience with gender issues. At the end of a two-month evaluation, the therapist gave them a diagnosis: gender identity disorder.

A New Treatment

The treatment has been offered in the United States only for around four years. Essentially, kids who meet the criteria for gender identity disorder are given monthly injections of a medication that blocks their bodies from releasing sex hormones. This means that while the children continue to grow taller, for the three or four years they are on the medication, they are kept from maturing sexually.
How is she now that she has transition?
Robert and Danielle agreed. The first official day of Violet's new life was Aug. 19, 2007. It was the first day of a family vacation. Armand — now Violet — was 10. And Robert says her emotional transformation that day was nothing short of astonishing.

"It was the happiest kid I'd ever seen. Just lit up. Just ... brilliant and funny and these things that we caught glimpses of that weren't always there," he says.

Her first day of school…
And their worst fears — of ridicule, of violence — were not realized. At the end of the day, Violet skipped to the car and reported she had had a great day.

Robert says that since the family event, and Violet's transition, there's been a new level of peace in his household, a liberating clarity. "There is no doubt at this point in our lives that we have a transgender child. ... And there is no doubt in our mind that we are going to do what we can to help her," he says.

And what does the Catholic church think about this? There was an article in a Catholic newspaper about this very topic and about the same doctor that was published yesterday. Here is what they had to say...
‘Sex-change’ treatment for ‘transgender’ kids? Hospital clinic draw moral criticism
By Gail Besse

The Anchor (
BOSTON, MA (The Catholic Anchor) - A clinic at Children’s Hospital is providing powerful hormones to disturbed children who believe they should have been born the opposite sex…

…“This is cooperating with psychosis,” commented moral theologian Father Anthony Mastroeni of Patterson, N.J. Father Mastroeni, who has taught at Franciscan University of Steubenville and Christendom College, has written extensively to refute the notion that sex-change surgery might be morally justified…

…The clinic’s Web page links to various groups pushing to redefine sexuality: for example, the Human Rights Campaign (“Working for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender equal rights”), and the Transkids Purple Rainbow Foundation (“Our kids aren’t pink or blue, but various shades of purple.”)…

…Although the site states that medical experience with transgenderism is “limited,” evidently Johns Hopkins University and other medical schools actually stopped encouraging sex changes decades ago.

“I have witnessed a great deal of damage from sex-reassignment,” wrote Dr. Paul McHugh, University Distinguished Service Professor of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins, in his 2004 First Things article, “Surgical Sex.”

“We psychiatrists, I thought, would do better to concentrate on trying to fix their minds and not their genitalia,” McHugh said he eventually concluded of his patients who thought themselves transsexual….

And who do they use for a resource? Dr McHugh another long time National Association of Research and Therapy (NARTH) contributor (see yesterday’s blog entry).

# # #

What the doctors and all the others that are against this therapy for transgender people, seems to be lacking is the reality that these children are happier and have better social interactions now than before they transitioned. Isn’t that what is important?
I know I was always the quite one in the corner and I didn’t interact with people, I had only a few friends. Since I have “come out of the closet” I have gone to more places than I have every gone before in my fifties years of mine life, I have meet more people and made more friends than I ever did before. I am less stressful and more relax than before my transition. What stress I do have is not internal but caused by bigots and transphobes.
How can this be wrong?

Thursday, May 08, 2008

NPR All Things Considered – “Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences”

Yesterday, National Public Radio (NPR) had an excellent show on Gender Identity Disorder in children; they compared the treatment of two children, one who was allowed to follow their own course and the other was forced to be straight. Part two is today at 4:00Pm EDT

One Direction in Therapy

Carol decided to seek professional help. Bradley's school referred her to a psychologist in Toronto named Dr. Ken Zucker, who is considered an expert in gender identity issues. After several months of evaluation, Zucker came back with a diagnosis. Bradley, he said, had what Zucker called gender identity disorder….

… Zucker, who has worked with this population for close to 30 years, has a very specific method for treating these children. Whenever Zucker encounters a child younger than 10 with gender identity disorder, he tries to make the child comfortable with the sex he or she was born with.

So, to treat Bradley, Zucker explained to Carol that she and her husband would have to radically change their parenting. Bradley would no longer be allowed to spend time with girls. He would no longer be allowed to play with girlish toys or pretend that he was a female character. Zucker said that all of these activities were dangerous to a kid with gender identity disorder. He explained that unless Carol and her husband helped the child to change his behavior, as Bradley grew older, he likely would be rejected by both peer groups. Boys would find his feminine interests unappealing. Girls would want more boyish boys. Bradley would be an outcast.

Another Family, Another Approach

Jonah was 2 when his father, Joel, first realized that no amount of enthusiasm could persuade his child to play with balls. Trucks languished untouched. Fire engines gathered dust. Joel says Jonah much preferred girl toys, even his stuffed animals were female…

… Joel and Pam also ended up in front of a gender specialist — Diane Ehrensaft, a psychologist in Oakland. Joel remembers an early session when Pam talked about her concerns.

"I remember her talking to the therapist and saying something to the effect of, like, you know, 'I'd be OK if Jonah just was gay, I just don't want ... him to be transgender.' And the therapist just laughed, she said, 'You know, 15 years ago, I had people on this couch saying, 'I don't mind him being a little effeminate, as long as he's not gay,'" Joel says…

… Ehrensaft, however, does not use that label. She describes children like Bradley and Jonah as transgender. And, unlike Zucker, she does not think parents should try to modify their child's behavior. In fact, when Pam and Joel came to see her, she discouraged them from putting Jonah into any kind of therapy at all. Pam says because Ehrensaft does not see transgenderism itself as a dysfunction, the therapist didn't think Pam and Joel should try to cure Jonah.
The two approaches are like night and day. Dr. Zucker’s approach is from the old school. Dr. Money thought that gender identity was all nurture, a social construct and that by raising a child as a boy or a girl would result in that person becoming a boy or a girl. The classic case was a set of twins in Canada when one of the boy’s had an accident during circumcision. Dr. Money advised the parents to raise him as a girl, the results were disastrous, and he eventually committed suicide. His story is told in the book “As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as A Girl” by John Colapinto.
While psychologist Diane Ehrensaft, approach is the approach that seems to be getting better results with the child developing a more stable personality.

And how are the treatments for the two children doing?
The Problem with the Color Pink

It does seem to be the case that, at least in the short term, Carol's son Bradley is struggling in some ways with Zucker's therapy. Carol says it was particularly hard at the beginning.

"He was much more emotional. ... He could be very clingy. He didn't want to go to school anymore," she says. "Just the smallest thing could, you know, send him into a major crying fit. And ... he seemed to feel really heavy and really emotional."

Bradley has been in therapy now for eight months, and Carol says still, on the rare occasions when she cannot avoid having him exposed to girl toys, like when they visit family, it doesn't go well.

"It's really hard for him. He'll disappear and close a door, and we'll find him playing with dolls and Polly Pockets and ... the stuff that he's drawn to," she says…

…"I mean, he tells us now that he doesn't dream anymore that he's a girl. So, we're happy with that. He's still a bit defensive if we ask him, 'Do you want to be a girl?' He's like 'No, NO! I'm happy being a boy. ...' He gives us that sort of stock answer. ... I still think we're at the stage where he feels he's leading a double life," she says. "... I'm still quite certain that he is with the girls all the time at school, and so he knows to behave one way at school, and then when he comes home, there's a different set of expectations."

Jonah, Now Jona

For their part, Joel and his wife Pam say they are clearly happy with the choice they've made. Joel says he now thinks of Jonah as his daughter, and he says that she — Jona — is thriving.

"She's so comfortable with her own being when she's simply left to be who she is without any of these restrictions being put on her. It's just remarkable to see."

In terms of which of these therapies is more prevalent in the United States, Ehrensaft says there is absolutely no doubt.

"Zucker's," she says.

Ehrensaft hopes this will change. She says that professional opinion on this subject is in incredible flux — that the treatment of transgender children is becoming a kind of civil rights issue, in the same way that the psychiatric treatment of homosexuals became a civil rights issue in the 1970s.

Of course, Dr. Zucker’s program is more popular with parents, no one would want their son or daughter to be transgender or homosexual and some parents would go to any extreme to keep that from happening.
Dr. Zucker’s approach is used by the religious right’s Ex-gay programs, he is quoted and used as a resource extensively by National Association of Research and Therapy (NARTH) to justify their anti-gay/transgender programs. In addition, the worst thing is that Dr Zucker is the Chair of the American Psychological Association (APA) work group to change Gender Identity Disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Talk about stacking the deck against us.

Listen to the program it is an eye-opener, the story is better then the article and has more details then the article.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Hartford Public Library - Gender Between the Ears

I just got invited to take part in a panel discussion at the Hartford Public Library…

Gender Between the Ears

Event Type: Other
Date: 6/5/2008
Start Time: 6:30 PM
End Time: 8:00 PM
Description: Multiple oppressions of urban transgender people include racism and classism as well as transphobia. Meeting basic needs like housing and employment are especially difficult for transgender people due to societal attitudes and total lack of legal protections.
This panel discussion will focus on urban transgender lives and realities. It will examine the broad spectrum of transgender identities from those who identify with a gender different from their genitals as well as studs, femmes and other gender non-conformists.
Library: Downtown
Location: Hartford History Center

I am just waiting for the conformation. I understand that there is going to be a movie (Screaming Queens) shown first and then the panel discussion.

Another Legislative Session Ends Today

Another legislative session ends today and HB5723 An Act Concerning Discrimination did not come to a vote. The bill passed the Judicial Committee and was put on the House Calendar but it was never brought to the floor for a vote. There are a few high ranking members of the Republican party that are against this bill, they say that it grants “Special Rights” and they also want to add amendments to the bill. The amendments that they want to add would ban teachers and students from transitioning in school, and they made an issue about bathrooms. Lobbying those legislators has not changed their mind; they are set against the bill. A friend once told me, don’t go after the immovable end, go after the movable middle. Lobby those legislators that you have a chance to persuade to vote for the bill. We need to educate the public more; I think that we need more press coverage (Something like the series of article that the Nashua Telegraph published), I think that we need to have more forums and we need to have more one on one talks to our legislators (The movable middle).

We knew that this year was going to be a long shot to get the bill passed because of the short session; however, we have to keep trying. If you do not continue to bring the bill up and put pressure on them, then they will say, “Well, there is no support for the bill” and it will be even harder to pass the bill next year. In addition, we knew that this year the focus of the legislators would be on the Three Strike bill and other criminal justice bills and it turned out that at the end of the session the focus shifted to budget issues.

Therefore, we have to regroup, look at our tactics and strategies, and come up with a new game plan.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

A Big Shindig Thursday Night

I will be going to a fundraiser for Gays, Lesbians Advocates and Defenders (GLAD) on Thursday. They have been so helpful here in Connecticut not only for Marriage Equality but also with the Anti-Discrimination bill that I feel I owe them my support.

Attend the May 8th GLAD Event
Connecticut: Making History, Changing Lives

Please join CT TransAdvocacy as it proudly co-sponsors GLAD's annual event: Making History, Changing Lives ~ as GLAD celebrates its 30th Anniversary. Please come to both celebrate and support the work of GLAD, as well as listen to remarks from Ben Klein, co-counsel in Kerrigan and Mock as well as Jennifer Levi, Senior Staff Attorney and one of our nations leading Transgender Rights Experts. Thursday, May 8 from 6 till 8 PM at Real Art Ways, 56 Arbor Street, Hartford, CT. (tickets $75)

I know the amount of the donation is high especially for the transgender community, but the work that they do is not cheap and they have to pay for it someway. Besides cost for the event itself is expensive, the food and the cost of renting Real Art Ways are high and the whole idea of a fundraiser is to raise money.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Manic Monday

Lisa’s Manic Monday for May 5, 2008

What name would you want have if you were the opposite sex?
Wow! Is that a loaded for question for me, since I have already changed my name from Don to Diana.

Would you share the tooth brush of your spouse/significant other? Why or why not?
I never have but maybe in a pinch. You are already exchanging other bodily fluids, plus I wash my tooth brush after I use it.

What is a song that you love to hate?

I just hate George Thorogood – “1 Bourbon, 1 Scotch, 1 Beer”. I don’t love to hate it, I just hate it and change the station when it comes on.

Sunday’s Hike – Valley Falls Park

Today’s hike was at Vernon’s Valley Falls Park and we hiked the Railroad Brook trail. The trail started by crossing the dam at the end of the pond and as I was taking this picture, I woke somebody up who sunning themselves on the rocks by the stream. A snake! Or more precisely a 18” – 24” black snake, I didn’t get a good look at him as I was jumping back, I checked to see that he was not copper colored nor had a rattle and he wouldn’t hold still for me to get a picture.
The trail followed the brook for about a mile, then we turned around and headed back to the parking lot.
Along the trail there were these ground cover flowers

Northampton Pride

Yesterday, I went up to the Northampton Pride festival this afternoon; I got off to a late start hoping that the weather would clear and warm up out of the low fifties, but it didn’t. When I got there it was very hard to find a parking place, I had to park about five blocks away. I wandered around the festival for a while checking out the booths before I met up with some friends and hung out with them for a bit. I then went looking for the uniTy table and I joined my friend Deja there at the table.

While I was sitting at the table a woman came up to me and said “Hi”, it took a second to recognize her. She is a friend that I hadn’t seen in a couple years, she had moved down to Florida. We talked for a long time and then the three of us went out to dinner at the Northampton Brewery. Just as we were about to leave, we were joined by two other friends, so we stayed for another round of dinks. About half of the other patrons there were lesbians and the table behind us one of the women recognized one of my friends from Provincetown, it turned out we had several friends in common. She is on the Pride committee where she works and two of the others on the committee are our friends, it is a small world after all.

That is one of the reasons that I like going to Pride, it is because I usually see people there that I haven’t seen in a while, it is our community’s town fair. It is like when I use to go to the local town fair every year, I would meet high school friends there that I hadn’t seen all year and to catch-up what has happened to since the last time that we met.
{Picture courtesy of Deja}

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Saturday Special

1. As a child I loved to play...?: That is hard to say, I loved being outside and with my playmates. If I had to pick one, I woukd say “Hide and Seek”
2. As a child I wanted to grow up to be...?: An engineer and I did
3. As a child my favorite thing to eat was...?: Macaroni and Cheese
4. As a child my favorite relative was...?: Uncle Stan

Saturday Spoonfuls #2

{Ãñgê£}ä Saturday Spoonfuls #2

My Question for You: What gets you motivated every day?
Not much, being retired makes it even harder to get motivated. He it is 10:30 in the morning and I am still sitting around in my nightgown. I find that trying to motivate myself to do more than the basic housework is nearly impossible.
Therefore, I do a lot of volunteer work to get me out of the house, I try to go out with friends and do something like go to museums and I am also going back to college.

P.S. I also do these silly memes every day.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Trevor Helpline is the only national crisis and suicide prevention helpline for transgender, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and questioning youth. The Tevor Helpline is a free and confidential service that offers hope and someone to talk to, 24/7. Trained counselors listen and understand without judgment.

There is hope, there is help.

Be proud of who you are.

The phone number for Trevor is 866-4-U-TREVOR - 866-488-7386.
and you can visit The Trevor Project website at

Friday Fill-In #70

Janet’s Friday Fill-In #70

1. Two of my favorite ingredients in a drink are _vodka and cranberry juice_!
2. _Sunsets_ often amazes me.
3. You can keep doing that forever, the dog is _still not going to learn new tricks_.
4. _2 1/2 cups potatoes (grated, and squeezed dry), 1 small onion (grated), 1 egg (beaten), 1/2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. baking powder_, mix it all together and voila! You have _potato pancakes_! OK, OK, I just happen to a yearning for potato pancakes right now.
5. If I had a yard with a garden, I would love to grow _tomatoes and peppers_.
6. _Sunbathing_ is best au naturel.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight (Friday) I'm looking forward to _going to a coffee shop to hear a folk singer_, tomorrow (Saturday) my plans include _going to Northampton MA to the Pride festival_ and Sunday, I want to _go hiking, as if you couldn’t guess_!