Wednesday, November 29, 2006

An Intersexed Deer?

I found this on the (En)gender Forum and it was to good to pass up.....

Man Shoots Doe With Rack of Antlers
Excite News
Nov 27, 10:31 PM (ET)

MICHIGAN, N.D. (AP) - When Carmen Erickson dropped a deer with a single shot in a cattail slough south of here, he thought he'd downed a nice buck. Unlike his shot, he was a little off. The deer was a doe.

"It's got no male utilities," said Erickson, who lives in Minot. "It has teats ... it was pretty unusual."

Six hunting partners with Erickson witnessed the doe with a 4-by-4 rack.

"I'm sure this story will be around for 10 years," he said. "At least in our group."

Erickson notified the state Game and Fish Department and received a voice mail from a biologist who said these types of deer often are bucks whose testicles haven't descended or for some reason are castrated. Erickson said that is not the case with his deer, however.

"We couldn't find any male genitals on the deer," he said.

"We turned it over, and I got a lot of heat over that. Like I was supposed to know," Erickson joked.

Gary Rankin, district game warden in Larimore, said he has seen a couple of antlered does over the years, but for a doe to have a well-developed rack is unusual.

It is not the first antlered doe to be reported in the region this year. A conservation officer for the Minnesota Department of Natural Resources reported seeing a 10-point antlered doe shot near Robbin, Minn., during that state's firearms deer season. DNR conservation officers in other parts of Minnesota also reported a handful of antlered does.

Erickson said the antlered doe is a first for his crew, which has been hunting together for 25 years.

"It definitely was a keeper, he said.


Dr Phil's Test


You scored 42!

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and
always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of
attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their
head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding;
someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
I got a 44.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 99% on Personality

Link: The Dr. Phil Test written by christygirlie08 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Monday, November 27, 2006

Postponing Telling My Boss

I decided to postpone telling my boss until I am ready to register for the classes. There is an Open House at Uconn on December 4th, so I will talk to the school admissions officers and find out what I need for registration in to the STEP program. To put it mildly my college grades weren’t that great, I was more interested in partying than studying (Translated – I was into drugs more than books, it took me six years to get my degree. Also there was a war on and the longer you stayed in school, the long you stayed out of Vietnam).

I know I will have to get a copy of my transcripts, also I will need three letters of recommendation and I will need to find out if I will need anything else. I also worry about (You know me, I am a worrier.) my spelling and grammar, is it up to Master’s standards, will I have to write a thesis?

I could go on and on with “What ifs” so with all those questions and the pressure of the up coming holidays I decided to put off telling my boss, that’s one less thing to think about right now.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

By the Way Sunday

~28 Shopping Days Left~

There's only 28 shopping days until Christmas!

It has been a month since my "Holiday Prep" questions.

Let's see how far along you are a month later...

By the way...

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most prepared, how prepared are you for Christmas right now?

-4, Hey, I still have 27 days left to prepare.

(By being prepared, I mean Christmas shopping, plans, schedules, etc.)

Have you decked the halls yet? If yes, what does that entail?

See my answer to the first question I will just have a Christmas tree (real, not artificial)

Are there any wrapped gifts ready to go under the tree?

See my answer to the first question. There is nothing better than next day shipping (What a great invention), also the later you shop the easier it is. With only a couple of items on the selves it makes it soooo.... easy to shop.

What are your plans for baked goodies this year?

Maybe, I have to ask when my plans are a little more organized. I like to make my Corn Pudding.

When will you attend your first Christmas party?

Next Saturday, then the next one is the following Saturday and followed by my cousins 70th Birthday party on the seventieth.

Will you be celebrating Christmas at your home or somewhere else this year?

Christmas Eve at my nephew’s and Christmas day at my cousin’s.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Saturday Six - Episode 137

From Patrick's Weekender blog....

1. Take the quiz: What was your Thanksgiving horoscope?

Thanksgiving Horoscope for Libra

You're the sign most likely to upstage the host or hostess with your charm.

Your signature dish: Green bean casserole

Your signature dessert: Chocolate cake

This holiday: Make plans early and stick to them. It's easy for you to change your mind.

2. Did you have either of those two dishes on your Thanksgiving table? Of the two, which would have been your choice?
Green Bean casserole –Yuck! And yes it was part of the dinner, but I didn’t touch it.
Who ever heard of chocolate cake for Thanksgiving? It’s pies; pumpkin, apple, blueberry or cherry pies.

3. Which single food do you blame most for your weight gain?

4. Take the quiz: How thankful are you?
You Are 82% Thankful

You're an incredibly thankful person, and everyone around you feels very appreciated.
You inspire people to be more optimistic, forgiving, and grateful.

5. Which are you more thankful for: your family, your friends, your career or your possessions?
My family, they are great!

6. Did you do any shopping at all on "Black Friday?"
I repeat from Thursday Threesome – Never, Never, Noway!

Friday, November 24, 2006

Blast from the Past

I was rummaging trough my bureau draws when I came across my old college ID from my hippie days ('74).


A little bit of a change?

Thursday Threesome

::Black Friday Sales::

Onesome: Black-- I saw a white Christmas tree the other day all done up in "black and white"; I was thinking an Oakland Raiders fan might like it! Do you have any color preferences for your Christmas decorations? ...or maybe a theme you've found somewhere that resonates with you?

It is a toss up between white and multicolored lights. But definitely no flashing lights, they drive me bonkers.

Twosome: Friday--leftovers? ...or do you have plans to order a pizza in to counteract all that turkey {g}?

Actually I am going to have pizza; I am going up to Springfield, MA for a pizza party at a support group there.

Threesome: Sales-- Okay, the big question: are you going to 'attend' any of the "Black Friday" sales? ...and if you are, are you hard core serious like the 5 am "be there" crowd?

Never, never and no way!

3x Thursday

From the blog 3x Thursday

1. What are you doing for Turkey Day this year?

I am having my brother and sister-in-law, a nephew and all of my cousins on my mother’s side of the family over.

2. What dishes do you look forward to having?

Of course all of the classics: turkey, gravy, stuffing, potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, green beans, pumpkin pie, cheery pie, apple cobbler

3. What did your family do for Thanksgiving when you were a kid? Do you still do it? Why/why not?

The same thing we are doing now, all getting together to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Bonus Question: Have you ever heard of a turducken? Ever eaten one? If so, how is it?

No, do you get them at Dunkin’ Donuts?

I Googled it and it sounds like a lot of work to stuff one inside the other.

Tuesday Twosome

From the blog Tuesday Twosome

1. What two things are you most thankful for?

Having such wonderful family and being able to sit down at the table and being able to think about leftovers. I know that there are a lot people in the world who do not have that luxury.

2. What are two things you like about Thanksgiving?

Being with my family and all the good food.

3. What two foods do you like the most for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey and stuffing

4. What two things do you do with the leftovers?

Turkey sandwiches with turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce and make turkey soup

5. What are two activities you do after eating Thanksgiving Dinner?

Napping and saying “Good-bye”. Even though I like my family, all the kids can get on your nerves after five hours.

Posting Comments

Sorry I didn’t post your comments earlier, I didn’t realize that I set the Settings where I had to approve of the comments. I had a spam posting and I was trying to delete it and I changed some of the settings, then I had a “Duh” moment when I saw the trash can by the comment

Thanksgiving Is Over, Only The Clean-up Is Left

And there wasn’t really that much cleaning up left for me, everyone helped out cleaning up. There was a total of twelve family members there for dinner; my 90 year old aunt, my brother and wife, a nephew, a whole lot of cousins, their grown kids and their grandkids. Kids racing around, the dog curled up in the middle of the floor, the adults catching up on the latest gossip, food piled high on plates, rushing around cleaning up, hugs and good-byes and “What are we going to do for Christmas?”
I was glad I had everyone over for Thanksgiving; everyone brought a dish so I only had to cook the turkey. I had to do a lot of cleaning before hand, but now the house is clean and I will probability have a New Year’s party here now that house is cleaned. I was glad I did have ever over, I am so lucky to be blessed with such a great family.
Now, let’s see, turkey sandwich (turkey, stuffing and cranberry sauce) for lunch today, turkey sandwich for lunch tomorrow, Sunday turkey dinner and Monday make turkey soup.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Coming Out to the Boss

The spring course schedule for Uconn School of Social Work just came out and after looking through the catalog I decided on two courses that I want to take next semester. They are;

This course is one of two required courses on human behavior in the social environment. Both courses emphasize social work’s “person-and-environment” frame of reference although this course emphasizes the social and physical environment. Major themes stressed include theories and research about the interdependence of persons and their environments, both physical and social, political, economic, and cultural contexts, including values and ethical issues, in which our social welfare institutions function. Cultural and ethnic diversity, institutional prejudice, especially racism and sexism, issues of social, economic, and political justice, and the process of social change will be stressed. This course will also consider values and ethical issues relevant to macro social work.

HBEL 370 - 3 credits
Examines the problems of America’s homosexual minority. Presents homophobia (fear of homosexuals or homosexuality) as a prejudice held by all people, gay and straight, in a society that holds that heterosexuality is the “normal” and “acceptable” behavior and attitude. Intended to expand students’ awareness of how homophobic attitudes affect them and their relationships with other people in both professional and non-professional settings.

Talking it over with HR, she (She knows and is VERY supportive.) thinks that it should be no problem getting reimbursed for the first course but for the second class we might have to talk to my boss. She thinks that he will approve the class but that I should tell him about my being Trans and I agreed, I think now is the time to tell him. I agreed not only because of the class but also because I might bump into someone from work while I am shopping or I might be in the news. So Tuesday is my big day.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Saturday 6

Episode 136

1. When a bill arrives in the mail, what do you do with it: pay it immediately, hold it with others and pay at once, or put it off until the last possible minute?
I pay them on Saturday morning, once a week I sit down and pay the bill for that week.

2. Which actor makes the best James Bond?
Sean Connery, the first and original. He will always be “James Bond” to me.

3. Of the foods you enjoy, which one are you least likely to try cooking yourself?
I don’t know, I try a lot of different recipes. If I like something, I try making it and that leads to a lot of disasters.

4. Take the quiz: What does your birth month reveal about you?
What does your birth month reveal about you?

Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn'tpretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.
Take The Quiz Now!Quizzes by

5. Of the results you just got, which one seems the farthest from the "real" you?
Lies but doesn't pretend, gets angry often, touchy and easily jealous. – those are way off the mark. But on the other hand; Loves to travel, the arts and literature, is true

6. Will you see your extended family on Thanksgiving Day this year?
Yes, they will all be over my house and I should be cleaning instead of doing these silly quizzes.


~~ Get Lost!~~

1. What one thing have you lost that you'd most like to have back?

That's a hard question to answer; I think I would have to say my early photos. Somehow they got lost when I moved.

2. What is the one thing you have that you wish you could get rid of?

Three guests and the first two don’t count.

3. What is the one thing you have that you pray you'd never lose?

My mind

4. What is the biggest financial loss that you've ever experienced?

That is an easy question, back in the gas crisis of the seventies I invested in a natural gas company in Canada. They price of Canadian gas stock stocks were raising like crazy as they exported it to the U.S. and I invested heavily and was making a good profit. But then Canada put a band on exports, crack.... over night the price of the shares drop to where I ending up with a big lost.

5. When have you most felt like losing it?

The night I spent in the emergency room because of a heart problem.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Trangender Day Of Remembrance

Every year all across the country this month we pause and remember all of the transpeople who were murdered just because they were transgendered. The event is held in November to honor Rita Hester, who was murder in November of 1998 as she rollerbladed down the streets of Boston and like most murders of transperson, it has never been solved. We do this to publicly mourn and honor the lives of our brothers and sisters who might otherwise be forgotten. Through these vigils, we express love and respect for those who were murdered and also to raise public awareness of hate crimes against transgendered people. We ask all of you in the trans-community, our spouses, our families, our friends and allies to come forward and hold hands in memory of those who have died. To find a location near you click here and a complete list of those who were murdered world wide.

In Hartford the Transgender Day of Remembrance is Monday November 20. A short candlelight vigil at 6:00 on the steps of Hartford City Hall, a short speech by a member of the Mayor’s Commission on Diversity and a reading of the names of those who have been murdered this year. Then we will go over to the MCC Church at the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd at 155 Wyllys Street in Hartford where we will hold a short service at 7:00. This year’s theme is “Carrying the Flame Forward” and will focus on the next generation of Trans-Youth.

If you do not want to go en-femme, then go in drab, but go.

The list of names of those murdered here in the United States just keeps on growing. This year’s list those who were murdered......

Vanessa Facen
Stopped breathing during a melee
with sheriff's deputies at the
downtown jail in
San Diego on Nov. 17
and died after four days on life support.
San Diego, California CA

Unknown person wearing women's cloths
Northridge, California CA
beat to death with a garden hoe
by John Freeman

Simone Walton
Dallas, TX
Shot multiple times

Alexis (Brandon) L. King
Nicetown, Pennsylvania PA
shot to death

Tiffany Berry
Memphis, Tennessee
Shot 3 times

Melissa Green
( known to friends as Mo)
Phoenix, Arizona
Shot to death

Alfred Dibble
Stockton, California
fatal beating to the head

These are only those that have been murdered, violent crimes against the GLBT community keeps increasing each year and the FBI does not track hate crimes against the Transcommunity.

It’s time to stop the violence!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Doctor’s Appointment

I had my six month check-up with my Edo today and he had an intern there that did my preliminary work up. Well I was the first transperson that he met, he asked all the right questions about my history, took my blood pressure, listen to my heart, etc and then the doctor came in asked him questions about what he found out. That’s when it got interesting as he was telling the doctor his findings he kept on getting my pronouns mixed. He was trying so hard to be polite and I was trying so hard not to laugh that I felt sorry for him. We had a mini Trans 101 class as the doctor went over the medical treatment for someone with Gender Identity Disorder (GID) for close to an hour.

After I got out of the doctors office I went shopping for Thanksgiving and bought a 23 lbs. turkey, hopefully that will be enough for fourteen people.

Did Florida Foul Another Ballot?

From Wired News

Here we go again; it seems Florida will never get it right. Once again they muck up the vote….

The machines, critics say, may have lost more than 18,000 votes cast in Sarasota County last week for a congressional seat that Republican candidate Vern Buchanan seized by a margin of fewer than 400 votes.

That's because 18,382 ballots recorded no vote for either Buchanan or his Democratic opponent, Christine Jennings, in the 13th Congressional District -- a House seat that previously belonged to Katherine Harris, the former Florida secretary of state who played a pivotal role in the 2000 presidential recount.

Critics are calling this new recount a sham, since the touch-screen machines have no paper trail and questions about the missing votes remain unanswered. They say a planned legal challenge contesting the results, likely to be filed next week, could help prove once and for all that electronic voting systems are unreliable.

You would think that they have learned their lesson, but it seems that they haven’t or maybe they don’t want to have a fair and honest election. Maybe they fear that their candidate wouldn’t win in a fair election. The election officials claim the missing votes were the result of voter apathy over the choice of candidates, dismissing voters complaints on election day of miss counted votes as trivial.

Real Art Ways

Last night at Real Art Ways Creative Cocktail Hour party a woman came up to me and told me she was at the Uconn awards reception. She said that she liked my speech and thought it was great that I was volunteering time.

The art was a lot better then it was at the last CCH I went to in October. Now and through January 27 they are featuring Polish artists the exhibit is called POZA. This month there was one video that I liked by the artist Pawel Wojtasik which was of a large aquarium with seals swimming around and the reflections of the surface of the water, very soothing and hypnotizing.

There is controversy surround the advertisements for the exhibit, it seem that a national outdoor advertiser would not allow the ads on their billboards…..

Billboard Company Refuses to Run Images of Couples Holding Hands; Billboards intended as part of a Large Exhibition of Polish Art and Film at Real Art Ways

OCTOBER 27, 2006: A series of billboards by a Polish artist whose work is in the United States as part of Real Art Ways’ new exhibition of contemporary Polish art was rejected by a local billboard company, Lamar Outdoor Advertising of Hartford, which is refusing to run the images.

The images intended for the billboards were created by Karolina Bregula. The 27-year-old photographer took pictures of same sex couples holding hands. The images have been displayed on billboards in Poland, where part of Bregula’s intention was to make visible a segment of the population that has struggled for acceptance and recognition.

As part of POZA, Real Art Ways multimedia exhibition of the work of 31 contemporary Polish artists, three of Bregula’s images of same-sex couples holding hands were to be displayed by Lamar Outdoor Advertising on billboards in Hartford and New Britain.

After initially agreeing to do the project, Lamar Outdoor Advertising rejected Bregula’s images, and refused to run them on the billboards. (The company gave the go-ahead to the two text-only billboards by another artist that didn’t have images, but Real Art Ways withdrew them in protest of Lamar Outdoor Advertising’s rejection of Bregula’s work.)

In a conversation with Real Art Ways’ Executive Director Will K. Wilkins, Lamar’s regional vice president and general manager, Steve Hebert, stated that the company was concerned that the images could be perceived as controversial, and perhaps be marked by graffiti. When asked by Wilkins if he had any groups in particular in mind, Hebert said he did not.

"To make a decision like this based on the anticipated actions of bigots," says Wilkins, "does a real disservice to the gay and lesbian community and the broader community as well.”

Marek Bartelik, guest curator of the show, says the images are no more provocative than "a print ad for the Gap or Bennetton."

Real Art Ways is committed to providing support for new ideas and disciplines, and has steadily built a diverse and unique audience that crosses lines of color, sexual orientation, economics and age. This act of censorship is of particular concern to the organization, and to the community it serves. Real Art Ways will protect the rights of artists to express themselves without fear of censorship or interference. Says Kristina Newman-Scott, Visual Arts Manager of Real Art Ways, “Part of my job at Real Art Ways is to ensure that exhibiting artists have access to all the resources they need to represent their vision. It is unfortunate that in 2006 we are still faced with this kind of censorship.”

# # #

You can see the highly controversial photos that cause the controversy here.


Q1 - Thanksgiving: Eleven percent (11%) of Americans admit to unbuttoning their pants before, during, or after their Thanksgiving day meal. How about you keep it buttoned up or do you enjoy a little extra room when eating a hearty meal?

Naw, I just wear a larger size pants

Q2 - Education: How well do you think math and science is being taught in American schools?

Very poorly, they do not teach math and science basic concepts. They don’t teach the logic behind the science and math, the why’s.

Q3 - Politics: If you could choose the major candidates for the 2008 U.S. presidential race, who would you designate to run, and who you like to see win out?

If the race was between McCain and John Edwards – I think that would be a very good match up.

If the race was between McCain and Hillary Clinton – I think that McCain would win

Q4 - You're in Charge: If you could run any corporation, college or university, or organization in the world for one month, which one would you choose and what sorts of changes do you think you'd make?

I think that I would pick the oil companies and cut the obscene corporate salaries and profit.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thursday Poem


I look in the mirror and I see a man.
I blink, and I see a woman.
But, I am I.
I don’t feel any different.
How can I be both?
Can both survive?
Will one have to be destroyed, in order for the other to live?
Will I still be me?

The Thursday Threesome

::A Day in the Rain::

Onesome: A Day--or so ago? Oops, wrong meme. Wait, that might be cool... "A Day or So Ago, I saw......." You fill it in !
A gaggle of geese flying south.

Twosome: in-- case of rain, do you carry an umbrella? ...or do you just hoof it in a hat?
I carry an umbrella, a very beat up old umbrella that has seen its better days.

Threesome: the Rain-- in Spain? Nah, how about locally: has the rainy season kicked in for you yet? Snow? Nothing? Come on, it's almost Thanksgiving here in the States!
It has been rain for the last two days and it is suppose to stop tomorrow after noon. There were snow squalls when I was up at our cottage for the weekend of November 4th .

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

3x Thursday:

From the blog 3x Thursday:

Traffic Patterns

1. Do you live in an area where there's a lot of traffic? If so, where is it? Describe.
No, I live out in suburbs, next to a small city and traffic is light even at rush hour.

2. Do you have to drive in high traffic areas very often? When you do, does it drive you crazy, or are you cool with it? Why?
About one or twice a week I go into Hartford and it drives me nuts. I hate it because people ignore stop light, pedestrians walk out in front of you and all of the emergency vehicles. It seems like there is always s police car flying by with its light flashing and siren blaring. Agh.....

3. What's the worst thing about having to drive in a lot of traffic? Why?
See above, getting nowhere fast.

Bonus Question for Comments: Do you think drivers in the USA are any worse than drivers in any other country? Why/why not?
I have no idea; I only drove here in the good ‘ol USA.

S. Africa approves gay-marriage bill

Change seems to come when you don’t expect it and from the most unlikely sources……

S. Africa approves gay-marriage bill

From the Chicago Tribune
By Clare Nullis
Associated Press
Published November 15, 2006

The bill was drafted to comply with a Constitutional Court ruling last December that said existing marriage legislation was unconstitutional because it discriminated against same-sex couples. The court set a Dec. 1 deadline for parliament to change the law.

"When we attained our democracy, we sought to distinguish ourselves from an unjust, painful past by declaring that never again shall it be that any South African will be discriminated against on the basis of color, creed, culture and sex," Home Affairs Minister Nosiviwe Mapisa-Nqakula said.

Homosexuality is illegal in Zimbabwe, Kenya, Uganda, Nigeria, Tanzania, Ghana and most other sub-Saharan countries. Some countries are debating constitutional amendments to ban same-sex marriages. Even in South Africa, gays and lesbians often are attacked because of their sexual orientation.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when.....

...we let politics and religion mix.
Here is an article from the New York Time about same-sex marriage/civil union divorce, about how it can become a tangled web when they move out of the state that they got hitched in.
One paragraph that caught my attention was....

The dispute between Vermont and Virginia involves the dissolution of a union between women raising a daughter together. They had moved to Vermont from Virginia, and when they split up the Vermont courts awarded visitation rights to the non-biological mother. The biological mother had moved back to Virginia and filed for full custody there. Although states are expected to honor each other’s custody rulings, the Virginia court, citing the state’s ban on recognizing same-sex unions, granted the biological mother’s request. The Vermont Supreme Court has ruled that Vermont had sole jurisdiction and demanded, in essence, that Virginia stay out of it.

Why can’t we just keep religion out of politics, we cannot control who we fall in love with any more than we can control the colors of our eyes or how tall we are. I think that government should not be in the marriage business, that all “marriages” should be Civil Unions and let the churches marry those they want to marry.
Marriage is more than having children, here in Connecticut the Civil Union laws granted something like 1200 legal rights to Civil Unions. Does like sound like marriage is just to have more kids?

Who Said Your Vote Doesn’t Count

Here in Connecticut in the Ssecond Congressional District with a total of around 242,459 votes the Democrat Joe Courtney is ahead by only 79 votes and the recount is not finished.

Monday, November 13, 2006


I have been trying to fix the regulator on the bathtub in the upstairs bathroom tonight. I didn’t use it for over ten years (The upstairs was never finished until a couple of years ago and even then no one ever used the shower because no one used the spare bedroom.) and this spring when I went to use it, it didn’t work. So I took it apart, greased the seals and then put it back together, well then it didn’t turn off! Tonight I stopped by a plumbing supply store and bought a new regulator. Following the lousy instructions I installed it and the water still doesn’t turn off! I tried several different ways of installing it and the results were still the same. Six times I ran downstairs to the basement to turn on the water, run upstairs to the second floor to see if it worked, back down to turn-it off and back up stairs to try something different.
I’m beat! I give up! It’s time to call a plumber and spend a couple of hundred dollars!

Manic Moday

From the Manic Monday blog...

What is a quality that you love about being human?
Our ability to communicate.

What is something you’d do if you weren’t so afraid to do it?
I don’t know, if you asked me that question seven years ago I know what I would have answered. But today I don’t know, I have been conquering my fears one by one.

What is a phone call that you’ve received that changed your life?
The phone call from person taking care of my father telling me that my fathers cold was getting worst and she thought that we should take my father to the hospital.

Questions for Week Number Forty-Three:

From the Curious as a Cat blog...

Name one event that changed your relationship with your family the most?
Coming out as a transsexual, their brother/uncle becoming their sister/aunt, yup that is kind of hard to top.

What is your favorite smell?
The sent of pine, this time of the year.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


I came across this web-site and I thought that it was worth sharing. It brings up several important issues that we as trans should be made aware of.

From the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association Web-site.........

Following are the health issues GLMA’s healthcare providers have identified as most commonly of concern for transgender persons. While not all of these items apply to everyone, it’s wise to be aware of these issues.

1. Access to Health Care
Transgender persons are often reluctant to seek medical care through a traditional provider-patient relationship. Some are even turned away by providers. A doctor who refuses to treat a trans person may be acting out of fear and transphobia, or may have a religious bias against GLBT patients. It’s also possible that the doctor simply doesn’t have the knowledge or experience he needs. Furthermore, health care related to transgender issues is usually not covered by insurance, so it is more expensive. Whatever the reasons, transgender people have sometimes become very ill because they were afraid to visit their providers.

This is a real issue in my life, many times when I was very sick, I put off going to the doctor because I was afraid he might comment about my shaved body or my painted toenails.

2. Health History
Trans persons may hide important details of their health history from their doctors. Perhaps they fear being denied care if their history is known. Even many years after surgery, they may omit the history of their transition when seeing a new provider. Patients should see their provider as an equal partner in their health care, not as a gatekeeper or an obstacle to be overcome.

This is another issue that bothers me, I have an eye doctor appointment coming up in December and once again I will have to explain why I am taking Estradiol, the same is true when I visit my dentist in January. It is a never ending process of coming out.

3. Hormones
Cross-gender hormone therapy gives desirable feminizing (or masculinizing) effects, but carries its own unique risks. Estrogen has the potential to increase the risk of blood clotting, high blood pressure, elevated blood sugar and water retention. Anti-androgens such as spironolactone can produce dehydration, low blood pressure, and electrolyte disturbances. Testosterone, especially when given orally or in high doses, carries the risk of liver damage. Hormone use should be appropriately monitored by the patient and provider. Some trans people tend to obtain hormones and other treatment through indirect means, bypassing the health care system. Taking hormones without supervision can result in doses too high or too low, with undesired results.

4. Cardiovascular Health
Trans persons may be at increased risk for heart attack or stroke, not only from hormone use but from cigarette smoking, obesity, hypertension, and failure to monitor cardiovascular risks. Trans women may fear that a provider who finds them at risk for cardiovascular disease will instruct them to stop their hormones, and so they do not seek medical attention even when they have early warning signs of heart disease or stroke.

5. Cancer
Hormone-related cancer (breast in trans women, liver in women or men) is very rare but should be included in health screening. A greater worry is cancer of the reproductive organs. Trans men who have not had removal of the uterus, ovaries, or breasts are still at risk to develop cancer of these organs. Trans women remain at risk, although low, for cancer of the prostate. Furthermore, some providers are uncomfortable with treating such cancers in trans people. Some cases have been reported in which persons delay seeking treatment, or are refused treatment, until the cancer has spread.

6. STDs and Safe Sex
Trans people, especially youth, may be rejected by their families and find themselves homeless. They may be forced into sex work to make a living, and therefore at high risk for STDs including HIV. Other trans people may practice unsafe sex when they are beginning to experience sexuality in their desired gender. Safe sex is still possible even in transgender relationships.

7. Alcohol and Tobacco
Alcohol abuse is common in transgender people who experience family and social rejection, and the depression which accompanies such rejection. Alcohol combined with sex hormone administration increases the risk of liver damage. Tobacco use is high among all trans persons, especially those who use tobacco to maintain weight loss. Risks of heart attack and stroke are increased in persons who smoke tobacco and take estrogen or testosterone.

8. Depression/Anxiety
For many reasons, trans people are particularly prone to depression and anxiety. In addition to loss of family and friends, they face job stress and the risk of unemployment. Trans people who have not transitioned and remain in their birth gender are very prone to depression and anxiety. Suicide is a risk, both prior to transition and afterward. One of the most important aspects of the transgender therapy relationship is management of depression and/or anxiety.

Another one I worry about because of all the stress that being trans causes. Worrying about the fellow employees finding about me, worrying about telling my family, worrying about..... I could go on and on.

9. Injectable Silicone
Some trans women want physical feminization without having to wait for the effects of estrogen. They expect injectable silicone to give them “instant curves.” The silicone, often administered at “pumping parties” by non-medical persons, may migrate in the tissues and cause disfigurement years later. It is usually not medical grade, may contain many contaminants, and is often injected using a shared needle. Hepatitis may be spread through use of such needles.

10. Fitness (Diet & Exercise)
Many trans people are sedentary and overweight. Exercise is not a priority, and they may be working long hours to support their transitions. A healthy diet and a frequent exercise routine are just as important for trans persons as for the public. Exercise prior to sex reassignment surgery will reduce a person’s operative risk and promote faster recovery.

Author: Rebecca A. Allison, MD, Board of Directors, GLMA, Harry Benjamin International Gender Dysphoria Association, Interventional Cardiologist, Phoenix, Arizona

By the Way Sunday

By the way...

What clothing items do you insist on keeping around even though you know you'll never where them?
Oh yes, there is always hope that I will be able to fit back into them someday

Is there anything in your closet that is just too tacky to wear in public?
Yes again, there is this Indian Sarong that I just “had to have”, I never wore it one in public.

Do you wear it anyway?
No, it is just not me.

Are there any past styles that you wish would never make a return?
I have an old fifty’s style jumper that would be neat if it ever came back into style.

Currently, what two items do you need to make your wardrobe complete?
I need more casual tops to wear with jeans or a denim skirt.

Saturday 6

Episode 135

1. On a scale of one to ten, with ten being very pleased/enthusiastic and one being very unhappy/depressed, how would you rate your feelings on Democrats taking control of Congress?

10+ but I don’t think that there we be much change on important issues.

2. The Democrats have been, naturally, very critical of the Bush administration and the course the country has taken. How effectively do you believe that they can turn things around by the 2008 election?

I hope very effective, I think if the run Sen. John Edwards that they will have the bet chance yet to gain the Presidency back.

3. What would you rather have for breakfast: a) Ham & eggs with toast b) Grits and sausage c) Pancakes and Syrup

Ham and eggs but with hash browns and bacon.

4. Take the quiz: Are you too negative?

Are you too negative?

Way Positive
You're a complete ray of sunshine that shines down on those around you. You're totally able, volunteer for even the more daunting tasks in life, and can always see the positive side of things. Some people call you hoplessly optimistic, but really your positive attitude makes much of what you do possible. Where other scoff, you merely take your way of life in stride and
Take The Quiz Now!Quizzes by

5. How likely are you to change your view of things based on your answer?
No I think that it is right on the money. But it was kind of a simplistic quiz.

6. You are serving as a juror in a murder trial. The defense team is claiming that a woman killed her own child while insane. As a juror, would you consider it critical information to know how soon she might be "back on the street" if found Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity, or would this have no bearing on your verdict?

I would hope it didn’t have an affect on my verdict, I believe we should judge on the crime at hand, not what they might do.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Friday Fill-In

From fondofsnape blog

1. Do you have any plants?

Yes, I have a few plants around the house especially in my atrium, now if only I remember to water them.

2. Do you like any of the Starbucks holiday lattes - Pumpkin Spice, Gingerbread latte, Mint Mocha, etc?

No, I am a tea drinker, I rarely have coffee and when I do it is decafe.

3. What magazines do you subscribe to?

I subscribe to PCPhoto and Yankee magazines.

4. If you could grant one person one wish this upcoming holiday season what would it be and why?

A friend has been disowned by my friend’s family; I would make a wish that my friend’s family would accept my friend back into the family.

5. If you had a magic wand what would be the first thing you’d use it on?

Oh, that is a hard question. There are so many things that I want to do in life that it would be hard to pick just one and I wouldn’t want to use it for any physical pleasures but to help remove suffering and oppression.

6. What are you looking forward to most this weekend?

Today I am going to a support group and then we usually go out to dinner somewhere afterwards. Tomorrow, I am trying to talk some friend into to going to the Wadsworth Atheneum or the New Britain Museum of American Art.
The Wadsworth has an exhibit on the Hudson School of Art that I want to see and the New Britain Museum of American Art ihave never been to so I would like to go there some time.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Five on Friday

Make a Wish

1. When is your birthday?
Just about one month ago.

2. When you blow out the candles on your cake, do you make a wish? Have any of them come true?
They need a permit from the fire department if they light all my candles now and I think you all can guess what I wished for when I was little. And it is coming true in about a year.

3. How do you feel about birthdays and birthday celebrations?
The older you get the more it becomes just another day.

4. What has been your favorite birthday gift? What kind of gifts really blow you away?
When my brother and his wife took me out to dinner. Gifts from the heart.

5. What flavor cake do you prefer?
Chocolate ice cream cake.

Friday Five

From the Friday Five blog.

1) If you had to move 100 miles or more to the north, east, west, or south, which would you choose, where would you end up, and what's so great about there?
Definitely not east, I can’t tread water that long. If I have to move I would move 100 miles north to Maine to be near my brother and his wife.

2) Do you have a favorite stretch of highway or byway for driving, touring, or wandering?
The corner of Northwest Connecticut, Southwest Massachusetts and Duchess Country New York is my favorite driving area. When I use to go back to college in Rochester once I got pasted Winsted, I use to light up a joint, put in the “The Grateful Dead” “American Rose” tape and crank up the eight track.

3) Are you happier to start a trip or return home?
Both, I am happy once I get on the road, to finally be underway; but it is always nice once you start heading home.

4) Plane, train, automobile, bicycle, or foot?
Train or automobile. I hate planes and bicycle and foot are too much work. However; I do like to hike and try to get away and hike for at least two hours a week. In my college days I use to backpack and the longest hike I went on was 25 miles in two days carrying a 65 pound backpack.

5) Do you overplan or underplan your travels? (Assume that "no" is not a valid answer.)
I overplan, it is better to have too much clothes or plan on doing too many things than not having enough. It is easy to cut things out than add then to the itinerary.


Q1 - Iraq: On Monday, British Prime Minister Tony Blair said he opposed the death penalty for former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein but that his trial had reminded the world of the deposed leader's brutality. Even if Hussein loses his appeal and dies on the gallows, it probably will have little effect on the future of Iraq, experts say. What do you think...should Saddam Hussein's death penalty be carried out, and if so, what kind of impact do you think it will have in the U.S. action in Iraq?
I normally do not believe in the death penalty, but this is hard to say no to. There is no doubt that he is guilty of mass murder, but will his death be revenge or justice? Also his death may make him a martyr. So my vote is no, I would give him life with no parole.

Q2 - College: If you went to college, did you learn more from the social or academic aspects of the experience? If you didn't go to college, do you wish you had?
I was in college to keep out of the draft. My major was electrical engineering so I was what you might call today a Geek, but at the same time I was also a hippie who did just about every drug going on weekends. However, I am going back to college and this time I will be more aware of the social aspects of college.

Q3 - Life and Religion: A friend's teenage son recently said that one of the problems he has with fundamental religion is that it teaches that we are all bad and that we are only going to be rewarded if we make all the right choices and do all the right things. He then said, "Life isn't the test; it's a time for learning." Your thoughts?
I believe that he is one hundred percent right. We all make mistakes; it is how we fix our mistakes that count. I do not believe that God is a malice God but a benevolent God.

Q4 - Whodunit: If you could solve any unsolved crime in history (or prove with certainty that a particular crime was incorrectly solved, and resolve it), which one would you choose?
Either who killed Kennedy or King, what is the real truth in the killings. Do they act alone or we there others involved?

Thursday's Poem

I was busy yesterday (See below) and didn’t get a chance to post my Thursday Poem, so here it is a day late.
Teach Your Child

I read Ann Landers the other day.
It was about transsexuals and bathrooms.
The mother saw hate.
The child saw innocence.
The mother was a good Christian woman.
The child preached love.
The old sage preached understanding.
Why do we teach our children to hate?
Why don’t we teach them to love?

Please Allow Me to Blow My Own Horn for a Moment

As most of you know I do a lot of volunteer work, well the other day I got an email from the director of Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition of which I am on the Board. Well she asked if I could fill in for her at a reception and give a short speech at the University of Connecticut, I said yes. What she didn’t say was that there was an award of recognition that I would be getting.

I am quite honored to have received it and that they thought to offer it to me.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Party’s Over!

Well Lamont, who I was working as a volunteer for since July, lost the election to Lieberman.
So what did I get out of volunteering?

• I got a sense of making a difference, that even though he didn’t win, there were more new voter registrations than ever before, they had more people register as Democrats then ever before and yesterday was one of the largest midterm election voter turn-out ever.
• I met a lot of new people, made new contacts and a lot of people met a transsexual for the first time.
• I learned that there are a lot nice people out there who will stop and talk to you, a stranger, on the phone about who and why they are voting for someone. And there are far fewer rude people out there than you would expect.
• I learned that I hate working in a phone bank, that I don’t like making political phone calls any more than I like receiving them.
• I learned that I don’t want to work for a campaign any more.

All in all it was a very good learning experience.

Tuesday Twosome

Election Day (US)

1. Are you registered to vote? Explain why you are or are not registered to vote?
I am. Because I feel that it is your duty as a citizen to be a informed voter and also if you are going to complain about our government, then you better have voted.

2. Did you vote early (if your state offers this) or are you voting on election day?
I voted after work, snuck out a little early to beat the rush. If I can get to the polls I rather vote in person.

3. Do you truly believe your vote counts or are you not convinced that "every vote counts"?
If you mean physically counts, I do believe that my vote counts, there have been very little election problems in Connecticut. And if you mean, does it make a difference in the out come of an election, I also believe that it does. It is especially true in a tight election where a difference of a few vote can swing the election

4. Did you make up your mind about what candidates to vote for a while back or within the last two weeks?
I worked for the senatorial candidate since the primary (He lost in the election.). I try to keep up-to-date on how they have voted on issues, the Sunday paper prints a summary of the how our politicians voted for the week.

5. Compared to your parents’ views, are you voting the same as or different from them? Are you more liberal or conservative than them?
I am the product of the sixties! I am very liberal (I don’t think you could tell, could you?) and my parents were conservatives (My father was an ex-army officer and ex-high school principal).

Monday, November 06, 2006

Let the Voting Begin

I just got back from Lamont’s West Hartford office, things were rather hectic there as you could imagine; but they had nothing for me to do since they stopped the phone banks yesterday. So I you are getting robocalls they are not from the Lamont’s campaign.
I think Lamont has a slim chance to win, he is down in the polls by twelve points so it going to be an up hill battle. But hey! Who knows, he just might pull it off.
Why, was I backing Lamont? Because I didn’t like the way Lieberman voted on the Cheney Energy Bill. I didn’t like the way he voted on Terri Schiavo case and lastly I didn’t like him voting for John Roberts as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Lamont would have voted against these issues and also I liked Lamont’s stand on Marriage Equality & LGBT Issues.
So I got my fingers crossed.
P.S. As I was writing this I just got a robocall from New York City Mayor Bloomberg telling to vote for Lieberman :-(

Manic Monday

From Manic Monday blog.

Could you ever be in love with someone you knew you couldn't trust?
No, I don’t think so. You have to have trust in a relationship in order to build a strong committed relationship.

Would you rather have a strikingly attractive spouse who was disappointing in bed or a plain-looking spouse who was fantastic?
Neither, I rather have someone whom I can love and they can love me. Sex is secondary and looks comes in way down the list.

Is it easier for men or women to find good partners?
I think everyone has a hard time finding a good partner, but try being a trans-woman who loves women. It is hundreds of times harder.

If you could spend one night with anyone in the world you desired, but only by getting permission from your partner, would you ask for it?
No, I believe in being faithful to your commitments. So that question would never come up.

If you found your true love, how long would you wait for him/her to return your love?
That is a hard question to answer; it would really depend on the circumstances. I don’t think you can give a hard and fast answer.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The Season’s First Snow!

I was up at the cottage putting in the heat to the next addition this weekend and when I had to run down to the hardware store (10 miles into town) I went through a heavy snow squaw that covered everything white before it quickly melted away.
Winter is knocking at the door, the ponds had a thin covering of ice and wood smoke was in the air. As you looked out across the grey fields at the farm houses; many of the chimneys had a thin column of smoke rising up and drifting across the fields. The scene looked like something out of a Curries and Ives painting. I wish I had my camera, but alas it was back in the cottage.

Friday, November 03, 2006


Q1 - Faith: Nearly half of all Americans are not sure God exists, according to a poll that also found divisions among the public on whether God is male or female or whether God has a human form and has control over individual or worldly events. The survey conducted by Harris Poll found that 42 percent of U.S. adults are not "absolutely certain" there is a God compared to 34 percent who felt that way when asked the same question three years ago. What do you think? Does God exist, and if so, do you think God has control over events?Yes, I think that God exists. All you have to do is look around you and see all of the beauty, all of the variety and all of the diversity. Sit by a quit pond, climb a mountain or look out at a crowd at a football game and see the wonders of life around us.

Q2 - Work: Do you socialize with co-workers outside of the office?No, I keep my personal life separate from my professional life.

Q3 - Holiday Travel: Are you traveling for the upcoming holidays or are you expecting family and friends to come to your home for Thanksgiving and/or Christmas?Normally I travel to a relative but this year they are all coming to my house (What have I gotten myself into! I have been making lists of what I have to do, lists of what we are having for dinner, who is bring what…..)

Q4 - You Choose: Which would you rather have...a personal assistant or a personal trainer?A personal assistant, I need someone to keep me organized and to run earns for me.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thursday Poem

Since Tuesday was Halloween I thought a kind of spooky poem was in order....

* * * * *
The Haunted Forest

Running, running.
Aimlessly through the dark.
With shafts of light piercing the dark here and there.
Goblins and bogeymen reaching out grabbing at you.
You stop and listen to noises in the dark.
Running, running.
Bumping into objects in the dark.
A woman puts out a hand and says, “I can help follow me.”
You fearfully follow her towards the light.
She leads you to an open meadow, filled with flowers, butterflies and birds singing.

Walking through the woods sunlight shine through the leaves.
Walking through the woods branches grabbing at my jacket.
Walking through the woods squirrels scamper in the leaves on the ground.
Walking through the woods, you see a person running wildly.
You stop and say, “I can help, I know the way, follow me to the light.”

Thursday Threesome

::Off to see the wizard::

Onesome: Off-- to do something productive? What are your spare time hobbies? ...or do you have a life {g}?
Photography and doing volunteer work.

Twosome: to see-- beyond the horizon? Where would you like to take your hypothetical 'unlimited' vacation?
I would like to sail around the world in my own sailboat, visiting exotic ports of call.

Threesome: the Wizard-- There's always (or should be) a fix-it wizard around the place; do you have one you can call on to take care of those minor repairs that crop up? ...or are you "it"?
I am lousy at fixing things around the house and would like to call someone to fix it, but most of the time I end up fixing it or at least trying to fix it.

3x Thursday

Boys and Girls and Fashion

1. Are you in to clothes and fashion? Does it matter to you? Why/why not?
I am comfortable in jeans and sneakers. But, when I am doing volunteer work, I dress causal and try to blend in.

2. Girls: Do you wear heels? Why/why not? Are they comfortable? Guys: What's your take on dressing up in suits and ties?
I don't wear heels except when the occasion calls for it like a cocktail party or a semiformal dinner or a fancy restaurant. I only wear 2 ½” heels, if it is only for a couple of hours and they fit right then they are not so bad.

3. What do you think of these people today who wear their jeans on their asses? You know, boxers sticking 3/4 of the way out...wearing a 40 waist when it should be a 32. Do you think it's becoming? Do you care? Why/why not?
Hey, when I was a teenager I though I looked cool. I had long hair, beard and wore old jeans, old army shirt and boots… the typical hippie look.

Bonus Question: Do you like to get dressed up? Why/why not?
Once in awhile I don’t mind getting dressed up to a special occasion for a couple of hours. Going out to a play at the Bushnell Theater and a nice restaurant afterward or going to a semiformal fundraiser. Why? Because it fun to do once in awhile.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

My Nephew and His Wife met Diana for the First Time

I was out to a meeting tonight and when I got home the message light on my answering machine was blinking. It was my nephew and they were stopping by to drop off their station wagon for me to use to bring some stuff up to New Hampshire. I just got finished listen to the message when they drove in. So I called them and told them I was dressed as Diana and if they didn’t want to see me as Diana, I would stay inside, but they said it was OK.
It was anticlimactic; however, it was another milestone.