Tuesday, April 30, 2013

This Is the Worst News Articles…

The writer couldn’t have been any more disrespectful in the article, I believe the reporter when out of his way to show contempt for the victim. In one article he used phrases like, “The body of an oddly clothed man…” and throughout both articles he uses male pronoun even though he knew that she identified as a woman (“Six months later, RTA police again stopped Acoff. They found him carrying drugs and hormones used to treat low estrogen in women, according to a police report.”)

It also sounds like she was getting harassed by the police and the court system,
A month later, in January 2012, he pleaded no contest, and a judge found him guilty of possession of dangerous drugs involving the hormones. He was fined $1,000 and sentenced to 100 days in jail.
A $1000 and 100 days in jail for hormones?

Her earlier arrest in the bus sounds more like she was probably being harassed by another rider,
In December 2011, he was sentenced to six months in the county jail after he pleaded guilty to inducing panic and assault for squirting Mace in a man's face while on a bus.
She must have had a hard life, being a person of color and a trans*person must not have been easy for her but she coped the best way that she could and then she was maligned in death.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Peace & Quite

I'm just back back from our lake cottage, it was so relaxing and the only sounds that I'm hearing are birds singing, loons laughing and woodpeckers rapping away.

Somehow I couldn't get in the mood to do a post today, but I'll be back with a post tomorrow.

Sunday, April 28, 2013

Busy Day Yesterday…

I had no time to post my blog.

I was at UConn Health Center at 7:30AM to help set up for our Seventh Annual Transgender Lives: The Intersection of Health and Law Conference and I didn’t get home until after 8:00PM and by 8:30 I was sound asleep.

The conference had it usual last minute snags but it overall the conference was probably our best conference yet. In my workshop on the Paper Chase on how to change your documentation when you transition, I had about ten attendees and I guess they liked it because they all gave me 5 out of 5 on the evaluations.

I only attended one workshop which was about the federal Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2009 (HCPA) the workshop was very informative. Later I introduced our Keynote Speaker, Mara Keisling the Executive Director of the National Center for Transgender Equality and she gave an excellent keynote address and afterward, I went out to dinner with Mara.

Now today I’m packing up to go up to New Hampshire to the cottage to fix the leaky pipe.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Worry For Nothing

The funeral went smoothly, I was worrying about meeting my former colleagues from work at the funeral but as usual I worried for nothing.

I did feel awkward because I knew them all before I transitioned it was hard to feel like Diana. There is something called “mirroring” which is how people perceive you is reflected back to you. In other words, the more you are treated as a woman the more you feel like a woman. Well at the funeral there was no mirroring and I feel like “Don” not Diana. It was nothing that anyone did consciously it was more because of the way we interacted, everyone called me Diana and used female pronouns but there was no spark. I think it was because it was an all male environment, the only women that were there were to support staff and the other engineers that I was with were all talking shop.

Afterward I went with the former HR Director out to lunch at Coyote Flaco Mexican Restaurant and we had a nice lunch together. She loved the restaurant and wants to bring her husband the next time they’re in Hartford.

No to the alumni bash…

A Busy Couple Of Days

Today I have a funeral to attend at noon for one of my former technicians. He was hired the same year as I was and we were the same age. We were both technicians and then I was promoted to a junior engineer and he was the one who told me about the job opening for the supervisor of the test department. I was his boss for a couple of years and then he was promoted to a junior engineer and went up to engineering building in Windsor.

Today with be the first time that I will see all the other engineers that I used to worked with since was laid off and I transitioned. I go out to lunch two or three times a year with a couple of friends from work but I haven’t met anyone else from work and I nervous as hell. I can talk to 200 people or stare at a TV camera but meeting people who have known me before I transition is hard. One thing is they have known me as I use to be and another thing it is hard on me because I related to them as my old self.

In addition, today I have to make a reservation for our Keynote Speaker and stop by the bank to deposit checks for the conference.

Then in the evening I’m going to an alumni gathering for the School of Social Work even though it will not be stressful like the funeral it still will be tiring standing on my feet the entire time.

Saturday morning I have to be at UConn Health Center at 7:30 in the morning to help set up for the conference and I won’t get home until after 7 at night.

If that wasn’t enough, on Sunday I’m going up to the cottage in New Hampshire to work on a plumbing leak.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

The 1 Percenters And Fairness

I don’t know if you ever heard of TED? TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design and they are a series of fifteen minute talks on a whole number of topics. The two talks that I think you find interesting are on the “Moral behavior in animals” by Frans de Waal and he is a primatologist and ethologist and the other talk is by Jonathan Haidt a noted psychologist and his talk is “The moral roots of liberals and conservatives”

I think you will get the most out of them by watching them in order…

We have lost the Yin and the Yang, we have lost the art of compromise. Just take a look at Congress and the gun bill, neither side got what they wanted the liberals wanted background checks, a ban on assault style weapons and large capacity magazines and the conservatives wanted no controls at all. There was a comprise that just included background checks, but the conservatives blocked even that and now we are left with the possibility of more violence.

Or take a look at taxing the millionaires and billionaires there was no middle ground for the conservatives and as a result the budget was a 2% cut across the board. Now we backups at airports because the FAA budget was cut by 2%, since that largest portion of the FAA budget is manpower even with shutting down Tweed New Haven, New London and Oxford airport control towers and hundreds of other control towers around the country  it still was enough to cover the 2% cut. Therefore they had to cut the hours that the controls worked. Hence the delays. The conservatives should have compromised and taking tax increases for the 1 percenters instead of cutting WIC, Head Start and other programs that are part of the safety net and our infrastructure like the FAA and highway construction.

Just like the monkeys we know fairness when we see it.

Let’s See If We Get Screwed Again

Today the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) is being introduced in both chambers of Congress. The question is will we get screwed again and gender identity and expression get dropped from the bill.

In 2007 the bill contained both sexual orientation and gender identity and expression when it was originally introduced. At the lobby day training down in Washington DC, the HRC said that they were 100% behind the gender inclusive bill and only the gender inclusive bill. In September HRC President Joe Solmonese at the Southern Comfort Conference before over 800 trans*people and their allies he repeated that the HRC is “solidly behind” only the gender inclusive ENDA bill only. A couple of week later they said  that they will be neutral on the gender non-inclusive bill. Then a few weeks later the HRC said that they would support the non-inclusive bill but that the HRC would not penalize any Congress person who votes against the non-inclusive bill. Then only two month after Joe Solmonese said at the Southern Comfort Conference of their unconditional support of the gender inclusive bull they did a 180o turn and said that they will only support the non-inclusive bill and that they will penalize any Congress person who voted against the bill because it didn’t contain the inclusive language. Seven Representatives lost their 100% rating with the HRC because they supported only the inclusive bill.

So here were are in 2013 and the inclusive bills will once again be introduced, will we be thrown under the bus again? It doesn’t look good for any form of ENDA the Republicans have said that they are against the bill and the Democrats do not have enough votes to defeat a filibuster in the Senate and the Republicans control the House.

It looks like all the Connecticut Congress members are in support of the gender inclusive bill but as Sen. Murphy said on Google Hangout this week as reported in the Connecticut Employment Law Blog by Daniel Schwartz,
At about the 17:15 mark of the talk, he provided an in-depth discussion about what the bill is and its prospects.

“My hope is that we see an absolute sea change in the rights of gays and lesbians in the next month or so” after the Supreme Court’s ruling next month on gay marriage, Murphy said.  But “save for that action by the Supreme Court, we should pass ENDA.”

As for the prospects itself? ”Not too good” given that “largely social conservative Republicans control the House of Representatives,” said Murphy.

But even in the Senate, it’s prospects were less than clear.  As Murphy observed: “I bet you we could get 50 votes in the Senate” but he didn’t think there were 60 votes which is now the new magic number to get bills passed to break a potential filibuster.
One thing I found interesting is that Sen. Murphy only talked about sexual orientation and didn’t mention anything about gender identity and expression.

If they hold another lobby day down in Washington, I was thinking about attending this year. It will be good to show our support for the bill, just to remind our legislators that the bill also includes gender identity and expression.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Words From the Old Sage

As an “out” trans*woman somehow I have become an old sage that people come to for wisdom. A feel flattered and a little bit overwhelmed. Many of my classmate who now therapists have contacted me about clients who have come out to them as trans and I’m always a little leery to give them advice on treatment since I’m not a therapist and rather give them advice on resources or my experiences.

Last Friday I gave a workshop on trans*culture and one of the attendees who I guess is a school social worker asked a question about a trans*girls at school. She wanted to know what inference her parents had on her since they said they let her dress as a girl. I wanted to say very little because I didn’t know the circumstances with her, so what I told her that basically it was her job to find out. That gender identity is formed before they start kindergarten and it can't be changed by outside influence.

Another question I get asked a lot from my classmates who are now school social worker is what they can do if the parents object to their child’s transition. I tell them not much, since their parents are their legal guardians, but that there is something that is called legal age of emancipation where a child can determine thing for themselves that are different than what the parents want. An emancipated minor can make healthcare decisions on their own, but it is tricky and they should talk it over with the school’s legal department first.

A friend contacted me this week asking me if I was willing to receive email from a trans*man down in Texas about transitioning down there and I just started corresponding with him today.

I don’t think that I’m an “old sage,” I’m old but I don’t think that I’m worthy to be called a sage

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Say I Ain’t True!

I came across this article in the Huffington Post, I think there is a lot of generalization but it has a ring of truth. Occasionally I do find bias in the gay and lesbian communities against trans*people but in general I find a lot more acceptance.
Gay vs. Trans Cultural Influence, and the Slow Evolution From Ignorance to Acceptance Within the LGBT Community
By Dana Beyer
Posted: 04/22/2013

Over the past few weeks there have been several music-related media stories making the rounds in the LGBT community: the homophobic rant by Michelle Shocked and the subsequent fallout, and the Indigo Girls' commitment to stand with the trans community at the iconic Michigan Womyn's Music Festival (MWMF). The way these two stories developed exemplifies the difference in power and influence between the two communities, gay and trans, which are united except when they're not.
Dana goes on to talk about there was a large outcry over Michelle Shocked rant but just barely a whimper over the bigotry that MWMF has for the trans*community. Which is very true, we always seem to get pushed aside for “Gay” issues and told don’t worry we’ll come back for you; however, it never happens.

Now come the part which I find resonant with me…
This reality is covered up by civility and the willingness of many of these women to work for the LGBT community to improve the lives of trans persons. But when it comes to real friendships, and, more importantly, to intimate relationships, trans women are invisible to these women. The term "cotton ceiling" has been coined for this divide. We are in an era of a gay Guess Who's Coming to Dinner. We can work together. We can go to school together. We can advocate together for us all, for marriage equality and civil rights. We can party together. But partner with one another, or live together? Still uncommon. Trans women are not visible as potential partners, just as interracial relationships were taboo and rare 60 years ago. And God help the cis lesbian who dares partner with a trans woman. Many of those I know who have done so are then ostracized by their lesbian friends.
The good news -- and there is good news -- is that the Millennial generation doesn't buy into any of this nonsense. They weren't raised on second-wave-feminist bigotry, so to them it's just dry history, and they go happily into their pansexual futures. And just as our children's generation has been powering the drive toward greater equality that benefits us all, I hope their social lives of greater mutual acceptance and respect will benefit their elders, as well.
I have worked with lesbians, gone to school with lesbians, invited to parties and dated a lesbian for a while last year who was about 10 -15 years younger than me. So I find Dana is right in that it is much harder to find acceptance in the lesbian community of those who are of my generation.

A number of years ago I went up to Ogunquit ME with some friends and we stayed at a B&B that was run by a lesbian couple and meet a young lesbian couple who invited us to a lesbian bar that night. My friend and I showed up at the bar where they were having a tea dance to meet up with the lesbian couple. When we stop to pay the cover at the door the women there said this was a women’s dance. After staring her down for a minute she agreed to let us in… but you can't dance. The bar was crowd with women mostly in their late 50s and early 60s, around the same age as I am. We sat down at a table and all the women around us got up and moved away to stand by the bar; we were island of empty tables in the crowded room. When our young friends came in and sat at our table it was like a signal that we were cool because those that moved away all came back to their tables.

I know that there is always hope of finding a partner; that you never know what’s around the corner. But the prospect of finding someone is very slim.

Monday, April 22, 2013

Trans Health & Law Conference

Well the correct name is a mouthful, Transgender Lives: The Intersection of Health and Law Conference, but everyone just calls it the Transgender Health and Law Conference. Anyhow, it is this weekend and it culminates nine months of planning where every year we say that we are not going to be rushing at the last minute, but every year we are rushing at the last minute.

This is our seventh year and it is my seventh year working on the conference. For the first conference I was just an adviser because it was the work of the Executive Director of the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective. She was a graduate student at UConn where she was working towards her Masters of Public Health and the conference was her class project and she asked CTAC to be her advisors (Afterward we had the honor of questioning her at her dissertation of her master's thesis). I also used the conference as part of my education for my Masters in Social Work, for one of my term papers I wrote this about the conference,
If a conference is given, where both the professional healthcare givers and transgender individuals can meet and attend workshops together, a synergy of learning will take place where both groups will gain a greater knowledge than if the conferences were held separately.
That is our goal, that by bring together all the communities, the healthcare community, the legal community and the trans*community, it will bring about a greater understanding for all groups. Because there are a number of conferences where healthcare or law for trans*people is covered, but I don't know of any other conference that is both health and law.

Each year the conference has grown for the last couple of years we have been offering Continuing Educational Credits (CECs) which has helped a lot to increase the stature of the conference with the healthcare professionals.

For more information on the conference, you can visit our website for workshop information, presenters bios, the program guide and the workshop schedule.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Sometimes We Forget…

That there are other trans*people who are a lot worse off than we have here in American. In Pakistan trans*people finally got the right to vote.
Transgenders: The New Voter Group In Town
Heba Islam
April 19, 2013

KARACHI: There’s a new voter group in town – Pakistan’s transgender community. With newly granted voting rights, members of the Khawaja Sarra community can now vote and contest elections not as males, but rather as recognised members of a third gender.

Enter President of the Sindh chapter of the Gender Interactive Alliance (Gia) Bindiya Rana, a transgender social worker and rights activist who decided to take the plunge and contest elections from provincial assembly seat PS-114. The constituency, also home to electables such as MQM’s Rauf Siddiqui and PML-N’s Irfanullah Marwat, includes several working-class localities of Karachi like Azam Basti, Baloch Colony and Akhtar Colony.
Not only can they vote now, but wait there’s more…
According to the Gia representatives, the Supreme Court order included directives for the Khawaja Sarra community to be provided free education, free health care and a community centre. As a community, since they now had CNICs, they also had access to welfare schemes like the Benazir Income Support Programme. But despite the rights they’ve won, they say the provincial welfare departments never implemented the decision which could have been a radical boost for them.
But the unfortunate reality is that of the approximate 500,000 TGs in Pakistan, official National Database and Registration Authority (Nadra) documents state that there are a mere 687 people registered as transgender voters in the final electoral rolls. It isn’t clear why voter registration has turned out to be significantly low – Gia says many transgenders are still waiting on CNICs and are still registered as males.
Do you think the violence and the stigma of having to register as “third gender” might be the reason why the number of register voter is so low?

And now they are running for office, according to the Huffington Post
Stereotyped as dancers, beggars and prostitutes, Pakistan's vibrant but shunned transgender community is striking out into politics with individuals contesting elections for the first time.

They may only be seven out of 23,000 candidates with little chance of getting elected, but they have livened up an otherwise lacklustre campaign and set an important marker for their rights in the conservative Muslim country.

"People don't believe we can be corrupt because we don't have children and families," says independent candidate Sanam Faqeer in the southern city of Sukkur.
Now Faqeer has given up dancing to focus on campaigning for the May 11 polls, telling AFP that the world of politics is more serious.

"My aim is to give justice to the poor, welfare to the old, promote meritocracy and the lives of cleaners and remove unemployment. Once elected, I will make my city cleaner and end the traffic chaos," she said in her office.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Saturday Six #471

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six #471

1. How old were you the first time you used a telephone?
That is so long ago that I have no idea.

2. What’s the oldest phone number you remember from your childhood?
My parents

3. What’s the oldest phone number you remember from your childhood that is still a valid number for the same party it was then?
A high school friend, he now has his parent’s phone number.

4. Have you ever used a rotary-dial telephone?
Oh yea. That is all we had back then and it took a long time to get one of “those newfangled phones.” For one thing you had to pay more for a push-button phone.

5. What year did you get your first cell phone?
2000, there is a long story behind it.

6. How many cell phones have you owned since then?
I think it is about three or four.

Saturday 9: I Don't Want to Talk About It

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: I Don't Want to Talk About It

1) Crazy Sam is beyond sick of all things Kardashian! What's a topic you're just tired of and don't want to talk about anymore?
The coverage of the Boston terrorist attack, the way the news media covered it. They had a therapist on talking about how to tell children about the images that they are seeing on TV and then they went for a commercial break and they showed a continuous loop of the explosion. Why don’t they follow their own advice.

2) Rod Stewart has been recording for more than 40 years. Do you have any of his music on your iPod/mp3 player?
Yes, my favorite song that he sings is “You’re In My Heart,” the lyrics resonate with me…

3) Rod Stewart is known for his coif. How much time do you spend on your hair each morning?
None. I just brush it off and put it on.

4) Rod's first child, a daughter, will turn 50 this year. His most recent child, also a daughter, is 2. How close in age are your children? If you don't have any children, how close in age are you and your siblings? If you don't have children OR siblings, well, tell us what's immediately to your left as you respond to this meme. If you don't have anything to your left ... Oh, hell, I give up!
My brother’s children (who are all married and have children of their own) are only a couple of years apart except for the youngest.

5) Which do you prefer -- french toast or pancakes?
French Toast, pancakes have WAY TOO much carbs.

6) When was the last time you lost your cool?
I can’t remember it has been so long

7) Crazy Sam once had a pet hamster she named Bart. Have you ever cared for a hamster or a gerbil?
Yes, I had a white mouse that I got for an eighth grade science project.

8) Are you ticklish?
It depends… on where you tickle me and I’m not telling the spot

9) Ouch! You have a headache! What's your go-to remedy?
Laying down in a dark room listening to the Eagles.

Friday, April 19, 2013

Friday Fill-ins

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins

1. Right now I'm _recuperating from the NASW conference_.
2. _”Um”_ is my well known quirk.
3. Are you _sure_?
4. _Read the manual_ first, then _try it_!
5. That's why _I don’t like going there_.
6. _Taxi_ is one of my favorite tv shows ever!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _going to bed early_, tomorrow my plans include _doing an outreach at a community college_ and Sunday, I want to _go walking_!

Thursday, April 18, 2013


Tomorrow I will be at the Connecticut chapter of the National Association of Social Worker’s conference all day and I will be giving a workshop.

When I was planning on retiring I was looking for something that I could do to help the trans*community and when I asked friends what is the best way to help the trans-community they said to go into social work. My reply was always, “I’m not a people person.” Then one day I asked another friend the question and when they said social work, I gave my usual reply but she answered that not all social workers are therapists. She said that she is a social worker and her specialty is community organizing. As fate would have, that afternoon when I was picking up the mail for the support group that I was director of at the time there was a booklet from the UConn School of Social Work about something called the S.T.E.P. program.

To make a long story short, I signed up for a class and liked it and I when on get my Master’s in social work.

Tomorrow my workshop is…
A Look at the Culture of the Transgender Community

This workshop will look at the transgender culture from both micro and macro perspective, and the workshop will examine the differences and similarities between sexual orientation and gender identity. The workshop will then cover, from the Marco perspective, the barriers that society has erected against the transgender community.
The Code of Ethics for social workers states,
1.05 Cultural Competence and Social Diversity

(c) Social workers should obtain education about and seek to understand the nature of social diversity and oppression with respect to race, ethnicity, national origin, color, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, age, marital status, political belief, religion, immigration status, and mental or physical disability.
I think as a trans*woman and a social worker that I bring a unique perspective to the understanding of our culture.

The conference organizers asked me to introduce the presenter and her panel at one of the workshops that I’m attending. I am not nervous about giving my presentation, but I am nervous about introducing her, she is the former Dean of the School of Social Work and the head of the Nancy A. Humphreys Institute for Political Social Work. I attended her annual two day workshop on running a political campaign. I feel kind like an employee introducing the boss and worrying not to flub their lines.

As of last night I am told that 31 people signed up for my workshop.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Some Common Sense...

In New York City and other cities around the country the police arrest people for prostitution if they are carrying condoms. This is wrong for many reasons but mainly because they arrest innocent people and also it encourages unsafe sex. As usual, it is the trans*community that bears the brunt of the harassment.

The New York Times reported that,
The elasticity that officers in New York and elsewhere have been given to police quality-of-life violations has had the unfortunate effect of leaving transgender women, especially, susceptible to the charge that they must be engaged in sex work. What we have now, in some sense, is an actual fashion police — an attitude among some law enforcers that attaches criminality to sartorial choice. If you are a 35-year-old biological woman wearing the $715 metallic platform peep-toe pumps you just bought at Barneys to lunch at Café Boulud, you are well-dressed; if you were born Joaquin, have changed your name to Marisol and put yourself together with a similar verve, you are a prostitute.

Another component of this is the much-denounced use of condoms as evidence. “It can depend on which side of Sixth Avenue you’re standing on in the Village,” Andrea Ritchie, a lawyer with Streetwise and Safe, told me. “If you’re a student carrying condoms, you’re practicing good public health; if you’re a transgendered person of color, you’re a prostitute.”
Consider that in surveys it has been reported that in the trans*community AIDS/HIV is over four times the national average of HIV infection, with rates even higher among transgender people of color.

But there is some sanity that is now happening in San Francisco according to the Transgender Law Center,
Transgender Law Center applauds the San Francisco District Attorney’s Office and the San Francisco Police Department for their announcement (see below) that they will end all discussion concerning the evidence of condoms when convicting or acquitting someone for engaging in sex work.

Using condoms to indict people for engaging in sex work had a detrimental effect on San Francisco’s efforts to slow the spread of HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. This victory is the result of cooperation between non-profit organizations, community activists, the San Francisco Human Rights Commission – and the Police and District Attorney.
Hopefully, other cities will follow San Francisco’s lead.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Why Can’t Homeless Shelters Obey The Law?

Here is another case of a shelter disregarding the law, this time down in Washington DC.
D.C. shelter drops ban on trans women
Washington Blade
By Lou Chibbaro Jr.
April 14, 2013

A D.C. Superior Court judge on Friday issued a temporary restraining order requiring a city funded shelter for homeless women located near the U.S. Capitol to stop denying transgender women access to the facility.

The Blade had previously reported about a lawsuit brought upon the shelter by a trans women alleging discrimination.

Judge Geoffrey Alprin issued the order after the executive director of New Hope Ministries, which operates the John L. Young Shelter for Women, chose not to contest a request for the restraining order filed by an attorney on behalf of Lakiesha Washington, a transgender woman who was denied admission to the shelter.
“We don’t do transgenders here,” the lawsuit quotes an employee at the shelter saying when Washington, who was homeless, attempted to enter the shelter. “You have to leave,” the lawsuit quotes the employee as saying.
It should have to take a law suit or a judge’s order to integrate shelters; they should just follow the law. I don’t know how many times I have seen posted on Facebook or in emails or contacted by people looking for shelter for a homeless trans*person here in Connecticut because a shelter wants them to say in a shelter for their birth gender instead of what the law requires, staying in a shelter of their gender identity and expression. They are all afraid to stand up for their rights because of the double stigma of being trans and homeless.

It doesn’t have to be that way; shelters in New York, Boston, San Francisco and Arizona all have been successfully integrated. Their policies are on-line as well as sample policies to integrate shelters.

Just obey the law and don’t victimize a community that is already highly marginalized.

Monday, April 15, 2013


I just don't understand how people can hate one another to do something like this...why?

What did these people ever do to you? They are just innocent people who just wanted to live!


My Stand

On gun control…

I believe that when our founding fathers wrote the Second Amendment they didn’t even dream of a weapon that could fire over 1 round a minute. Their main thoughts about owning a weapon was first to put food on the table and second to fight off Indian attacks. When a couple of years ago I went up to Sturbridge village a living museum in Massachusetts they had a sign on the wall ordering all adult males to own a rifle and to report to the village green on Sundays to drill for the militia. That is what they meant when they wrote this “A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.”

It wasn’t until the Regan Supreme Court in 2008 that it was interpreted to mean that anything goes. Earlier Supreme Court rulings; like the Supreme Court in 1939 heard a case (United States v. Miller) challenging the National Firearms Act of 1934 the required automatic weapons to be registered and taxed. They ruled that the 2nd Amendment only covered gun ownership as part of a well regulated militia,
"In the absence of any evidence tending to show that possession or use of a 'shotgun having a barrel of less than eighteen inches in length' at this time has some reasonable relationship to the preservation or efficiency of a well regulated militia, we cannot say that the Second Amendment guarantees the right to keep and bear such an instrument."
It wasn’t until Regan appointed two conservative justices Antonin Scalia and Anthony M. Kennedy that tipped the court to a conservative court that we have today. It was that court that did a 180 degree turn and stated in the case of District of Columbia v. Heller that,
The petition for a writ of certiorari is granted limited to the following question: Whether the following provisions, D.C. Code §§ 7-2502.02(a)(4), 22–4504(a), and 7-2507.02, violate the Second Amendment rights of individuals who are not affiliated with any state-regulated militia, but who wish to keep handguns and other firearms for private use in their homes?
And that is where we are at today, with a Wild West attitude that anything goes.

So what is my position on gun control?
  1. I believe that everyone should have a background check to own a gun.
  2. I believe that limiting the number of rounds that a magazine can hold.
  3. I believe that gun owners should be responsible for the guns that they own, that if it lost or stolen that they have to report it.
I think the first one is reasonable, we should be able to make sure that a criminal and people who want to harm others shouldn’t own guns. I see no reason why people should be able to own high capacity magazines; if you can’t hit your target in four or five shots you shouldn’t really own a gun until you can hit your target. The last item I think is important because so many times about guns being stolen and never reported until the gun turns up being used in a crime. The owner just says “Oh, I lost the gun years ago” and never reported it and that begs the question did the person really lose the gun or are they just saying that to hide the crime.

When I was teenager I used to go shooting on a farm with friends and we shot at the usual things teen did; like cans, woodchucks and other things you find around a farm. In college I took skeet shooting for a gym class which I liked and also my father owned a pistol. So I don’t think guns should be banned just regulated.

Update 12:30:
It was just announced that the Supreme Court refused to hear the case challenging the New York law requiring a reason to carry a pistol in public.
New York Gun Limits Intact as High Court Rejects Appeal
By Greg Stohr
April 15, 2013

The U.S. Supreme Court dealt a rebuff to gun-rights advocates including the National Rifle Association, leaving intact New York’s requirement that people wishing to carry a handgun in public show a special need for protection.

Refusing for now to be drawn into the fractious nationwide debate over firearms, the justices today let stand a federal appeals court decision that said the century-old New York law didn’t infringe the Constitution’s Second Amendment. The court made no comment, turning away an appeal by five New York residents and a gun-rights group as part of a list of orders released in Washington.
The measure was challenged by five residents of New York’s Westchester County and the Second Amendment Foundation, a gun- rights group based in Bellevue, Washington. The National Rifle Association and 20 states backed the appeal.

Sunday, April 14, 2013


Etiquette: the conduct or procedure required by good breeding or prescribed by authority to be observed in social or official life.

I believe that the important part of the definition is “good breeding” and “observed in social… life.” When you in a space you should respect the rules of that space, in other words etiquette or common sense.
Transgender woman banned from Idaho grocery store over restroom use
NBC News
By Laura Zuckerman, Reuters

SALMON, Idaho -- A transgender woman whose use of a women's restroom in an Idaho grocery store reportedly upset other customers has been cited for trespassing and banned from the store for a year, police said on Friday.
"The store security officer said he had been dealing with a problem over a couple days with the person going into the women's restroom and urinating while standing up," Lanier said.
Do you think this trans-women respected the etiquette of the bathroom or show common sense?

As we fight for our rights we are facing stronger opposition. We are seeing this used against us and proposed laws like the one the Arizona Rep. John Kavanagh introduced this month where you have to use the bathroom that is on your birth certificate.

I believe that we should be able to use the bathroom of our gender expression, but people THINK and show respect for the space that we use! With rights come responsibilities.

Update 4/16/13:
This article on the Huffington Post changes everything; according to the article she had surgery…
Ally Robledo, Transgender Woman, Cited For Trespassing After Using Women's Bathroom In Idaho
The Huffington Post
By Meredith Bennett-Smith
Posted: 04/15/2013

Robledo told the station that she has already undergone one gender re-assignment surgery. In the past, Robledo said using male restrooms led to feelings of embarrassment and harassment, and that she sometimes she even feared for her safety.
But after I posted that I found this...
Transgender woman banned from Idaho grocery store
LGBTQ Nation
Associated Press
April 15, 2013

Ally Robledo, 25, of Lewiston, identifies herself as female but has not yet had gender reassignment surgery. Robledo, who was born Alberto, said she was leaving a Rosauers supermarket in Lewiston late on April 8 when police officers gave her paperwork informing her that she had a “no trespassing” order against her for using the women’s restroom.
If she did have surgery then this is a case of discrimination, it is not justified to ban a person because they make other people feel uncomfortable. If she didn't have surgery and she was peeing standing up, she is wrong but shouldn't be arrested.

The bottom line is that you should respect the space you are no matter what.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Saturday Six #470

1. How old were you when you learned to ride a bicycle?
Are you kidding, that was probably close 60 years ago!

2. How many bicycles have you owned in your life?
I have no idea, that number is lost in the haze of time.

3. How old were you when you learned to drive a car?
Ah… that one I can answer, 17 and I learned to drive a standard on my brother’s ‘61 MGB that he let me drive to high school. Didn’t I have a neat brother?

4. What was the most difficult part of your driving test?
Parallel parking and it still is a pain.

5. What’s the longest distance you’ve driven?
Up from Asheville NC to Bradley Field in Connecticut with a rented car back in 2010, you can read about the trip here.

6. What’s the longest road trip you took as a passenger with someone else driving?
Out to Bismarck North Dakota back in 1974 when I graduated from college. We made it out there in 32 ½ hours non-stop and we only drove off the road once when the driver fell asleep in the middle of nowhere North Dakota. My other friend drove from there to Bismarck.

Saturday 9: You Belong with Me

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: You Belong with Me

1) Like the girl in this song, have you ever been in love with someone, but was afraid to tell them?
Yes, but that was back in elementary school.

2) Taylor Swift has been known to write songs about her real-life lovers. If you were to write a song about the most recent person you were romantically involved with, what would the title be?
Why does always have to me just when I find love?

3) Ms. Swift recently turned 23 and has already won VMAs and AMAs and Grammys. What were you doing when you were 23? (If you aren't 23 yet, where do you see yourself when you hit it?)
Trying to keep from flunking out of college.

4) When you were a child, did you sleep with a plush toy? (If yes, please include its name in your answer.)
Are you kidding? That was over 60 years ago and I don't remember it's name! I think I had a brown teddy bear that I always carried around.

5) I'm making a Starbucks run. What can I get you?
A large black decafe, I’m old fashion none of that fancy stuff for me.

6) It was 60 years ago that Clarence Birdseye first marketed frozen vegetables. Now it's your turn: Share something you learned recently.
You can go back, but it is not the same.

7) In junior high, were you class clown, teacher's pet, a geek, a jock ... or did you just melt into the background?
I was a geek; I was a member of the science club. (We didn't have a Jr. High School back then. It K - 6 and 7 -12)

8) Was your most recent ticket for parking illegally or was it a moving violation?
Hmmm… it was back in 1973 and I was doing 75 in a 65 zone at five AM and I was the only one on the New York Thruway in Canandaigua (Well except for the state trooper who was hiding behind the only tree for miles around).

9) Tell us about the last museum you visited.
It was to the New Britain Museum of American Art to see “In Focus: Recent Acquisitions in Photography” and I want to go see the “Toulouse-Lautrec & His World” exhibit before it closes. The museum is only about 4 or 5 miles from my house and it is world renown for it Hudson River School of Art paintings from the 19th century. I also get free passes to it from my town library.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Diana’s Not So Excellent Adventure

Whew! I made it home in one piece!

I was up at our cottage in New Hampshire opening it up for the season. When I got up there around 5:30 on Wednesday, my brother found a leak in the cold water pipe when he turned on the water. So Thursday morning I got the propane torch out and fixed the leak and when we turned on the water back on we discovered a couple of more leaks around water pipe the drain caps. We couldn’t stop the leak so we decided to replace the drain caps with ball valves.

While I was taking a break, I was sitting in the rocking chair in the basement rec room when a movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention. I looked and there was a big ugly moose just outside of the sliding glass door looking in! It scared the daylights out of me. You can see the glass sliders in the photo. The moose was no more than 3 or 4 feet for the door in the basement.

Today, we unsoldered the elbows with the drains and soldered the ball valves with a “Tee” connector but we couldn’t get good solder joints and now they were leaking!

Meanwhile, the little snowstorm was becoming a major snow event. It was snowing so hard we couldn’t see across the lake and it was started to accumulate. We started getting frustrated between the leaking solder joints and worrying about being stuck in the cottage. So around three we decided to pack up and head home. We barely made up out of the driveway on to the road. We then couldn’t make it up the hill at the end of the street which is to the only way out.

My brother called the highway department asking them to plow the street, about 20 minutes later the town truck came down the road and we followed it out. We slowly made our way to Hillsboro and Rt. 9, I decided instead of going over the mountains in the snow to Keene and Brattleboro VT, to instead got to Manchester where it was only raining to I-93 and then take I-495.  As soon as I turned on to I-495 I was in a traffic jam from I-93 exit to Rt. 4 in Chelmsford, ten miles crawling at 4 to 5 miles an hour. It normally takes me a little less than 3 hours to get to home from the cottage and going down I-93 and I-495 it should have taken 4 hours, but it took 6 hours to get home! AGH! Today was not a fun day.

Friday Fill-ins

Janet's Friday Fill-ins
1. Right now I'm _at the cottage in New Hampshire and my car is covered in ice, the lake is frozen over and there still is snow on the ground_.
2. _To mispronounce words_ is my well known quirk.
3. Are you _ready for spring_?
4. _You peel them_ first, then _you can eat them_!
5. That's why _I like to listen first before commenting_.
6. _Star Trek_ is one of my favorite tv shows ever!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _being back in warm Connecticut_, tomorrow my plans include _thawing out_ and Sunday, I want to _go for a walk in the sun_!

Thursday, April 11, 2013

My Story Part 160 – The Cottage

I’m up in New Hampshire at the family cottage today; we are up here to open the cottage for the season. My parents bought it back in 1981 and when they died they passed it on to my brother and me.

So now we are back up here opening up the cottage for another season; however, when my brother turned on the water he found that one of the pipes had sprung a leak over the winter. It is always fun to turn on the water for the first time; you never know what you will find. I don't think that we never had a leaky pipe when we opened the cottage. One time a bag of potatoes were left up here, boy did that stink up the cottage. Hopefully, this one leak is all that we'll find this year.

My Story is a weekly series of blog posts about my transition and observation of life as a trans-person.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

When Trans-Parents’ Divorce

I just came across a guide for divorcing spouses with children when one parent is trans from the ACLU and the NCTE about when one parent uses the other transgender status against them in court during a divorce.
More and more transgender parents are fighting to protect their relationships with their children in the face of custody challenges. Yet they face significant obstacles. Parents who have come out or transitioned after having a child with a spouse or partner have seen their gender transition raised as a basis to deny or restrict child custody or visitation. Transgender people who formed families after coming out or transitioning have faced challenges to their legal status as parents, often based on attacks on the validity of their marriages.

Many transgender people have and raise children without encountering legal challenges to their fitness or legal status as a parent. However, such challenges are still all too common. And many parents have been treated terribly by the courts because judges have a limited understanding of what it means to be transgender and they have very little—and inconsistent—case law to guide them.
I urge you to read the rest of the legal guide if you are trans and are in the process of getting a divorce.

From what I have been told by lawyer friends, here in Connecticut the courts and state agencies cannot consider your status as a trans-person in their decisions. 

Follow-up To “It’s A Great Thought But…”

Yesterday I wrote about the Indigo Girls announcement that they will play this year at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival and not go back unless they change their policy on trans-women attending the festival.

Yesterday, I saw this commentary by Andrea Gibson posted on a trans-forum,

With a heart full of love, sadness and hope I am writing to announce my decision to cancel my performance at the 2013 Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival. Since the announcement of my intended participation several weeks ago I have received a great deal of heartfelt feedback that in light of the festival’s policy of not welcoming trans women, my decision to attend is one that is causing pain within our community, and that is truly the opposite of what I had hoped to create by attending.
In deciding to accept this year’s invitation to perform I did so because I believe the festival is like no other space in its potential to be a space that empowers and supports women, because I truly love the festival and want it to continue, and because I want the festival to welcome ALL women.   I believe in the power of art more than I believe in the power of most anything, and it was my intention to create a performance piece to be performed on stage at the festival that talked about the issue in a new way, sort of a poetic mediation, one primarily focused on speaking one’s heart-centered truth, and listening, listening, listening.  That said, in listening to the voices of thoughtful people in our community, in feeling heartbreak because of the hurt people have been feeling, and in further unpacking my own privilege in terms of my freedom of choices in this issue, I now believe it is primarily important that I do not perform at a festival that does not welcome trans women, and when I write the piece that addresses this issue directly, I will find stages for its presence that all women have access to.

Tuesday, April 09, 2013

It’s A Great Thought But…

Why are they waiting until next year?
Indigo Girls Encourage Michigan Womyn's Music Festival Protest Over Transgender Exclusion
The Huffington Post
By Glennisha Morgan
Posted: 04/08/2013

Though they'll be on hand to perform, the Indigo Girls are encouraging a protest against the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival for the event's continued exclusion of transgender women.

On their website, the folk-rock duo vowed to donate proceeds from their performance during the festival, which is scheduled for August 6-11, to transgender activism.

"We have made it clear that this will be our last time at the Festival until MWMF shows visible and concrete signs of changing their intention," Amy Ray and Emily Saliers wrote on their site. "We have no animosity towards anyone in this case but see the deep and fearless legacy that MWMF has had during its existence and we honor that. We also honor the prayerfulness that has been a part of this struggle on both sides."
It is nice that they are donating the proceeds from the festival to trans*causes, but why don’t they cancel like other performers,
Echoing the sentiments of Indigo Girls, Andrea Gibson recently announced her decision to cancel her performance at MWMF after receiving "heartfelt" feedback in light of the festival's policy to be exclusive to cisgender women.

Monday, April 08, 2013

The Big Apple Is Not Friendly...

Especially if you are trans. According to an article in the New York Times as part of the NYPD preemptive strike on violence and crime they are arresting people for “WWT” or walking while trans.
Arrests by the Fashion Police
Published: April 5, 2013

Here is a vignette from March 2013: A 24-year-old gay man named Yhatzine Lafontain is leaving a restaurant late at night with a friend on Roosevelt Avenue and 95th Street in Queens. Both are dressed as women, Mr. Lafontain in a jacket, short dress and heels. Exchanging goodbyes outside, they are approached by a man who tells them they look good.

In Mr. Lafontain’s account, they chatted briefly to avoid seeming rude and the man departed. Within a few minutes, an undercover police officer approached Mr. Lafontain and his friend and arrested them, suspecting them of prostitution. “We were surprised,” Mr. Lafontain told me, “because we had never talked to anyone about sex or money.”
Last week, Mitchyll Mora, a youth leader at a group called Streetwise and Safe told me about an experience he had last spring, on his way to a poetry reading on the Lower East Side. Dressed in a style he called non-gender-conforming — makeup, boots, long earrings — he was stopped and searched by the police for no reason he could understand. The police made him throw his hands up against the wall, invoked a gay slur and grabbed his buttocks, he said. “I should have tried to file a report, but it’s hard to feel empowered in this kind of situation,” he said.
Two years ago, Ms. Ritchie settled a lawsuit against the Police Department for a transgender client, Ryhannah Combs, who was arrested on suspicion of prostitution while making her way to a McDonald’s in the Village. The complaint said the police had listed nine condoms among her possessions even though Ms. Combs was not carrying any at the time of her arrest.
It all depends on your race and where you are if you will get stopped and arrested. It seems like if you are black or Hispanic you are much more likely to get frisked.  The police says that these stop and frisk cut violent crimes, but what it really does is put fear into the hearts of the trans-community.

In the independent news blog Sheepshead there is a report that a trans-woman died because EMTs refused to treat a diabetic trans-person.
EMS Denied Transgender Patient Care Causing Her Death,Alleges Sheepshead Bay Lawyer
by Sheepshead Bites on Apr 2nd, 2013      

ONLY ON SHEEPSHEAD BITES: Emergency responders left Shaun Smith to die because she is transgender, claims a lawsuit brought by the victim’s mother. The Sheepshead Bay attorney representing her says it’s part of a disturbing national trend of discrimination against transgender patients.

The allegations stem from a June 15, 2012, incident, when Smith’s mother, Jenette Cox called 911 after Smith – a transgender woman who was born a man – went into diabetic shock. When EMS responders arrived on the scene and found the victim to be transgender, they failed to render services, Cox alleges.
Treating a person in diabetic shock is easy, you start a glucose IV. If the allegation is true then this should be much more than a civil matter, I think it should be a hate crime or even murder. Because by refusing to start treatment it resulted in a death.

The lawyer and mother also said that,
Novofastovsky  and Cox also name Harlem Hospital in the lawsuit, which Smith checked into on December 2011, complaining about a headache from having taken “too many diet pills,” according to the hospital report. The medical report includes the hormones that Smith was taking at the time.

Novofastovsky said the hospital was also discriminatory in caring for Smith, having sent her to the mental health clinic rather than given medical care, where they might have discovered the onset of diabetes.

He points to the report from the visit, which diagnosis Smith with an “unspecified, drug induced mental disorder.”
"They should have either done hormone monitoring or referred him to a physician, to monitor his intake,” he said.
This is something that I always worry about, will I be just brushed off or worst yet be given incomplete heath care.

And this is in a city with a strong gender inclusive non-discrimination ordinance.

Sunday, April 07, 2013

Out And About

I have always been an “Out” trans-woman, but I know that being out is not for everyone and last week was “Transgender Visibility Day.” In their weekly press release Lambda Legal was about being out.
“One of the most important changes on the horizon for transgender people is more visibility,” says M. Dru Levasseur*, Transgender Rights Attorney for Lambda Legal. “And for some, ‘coming out’ means putting your life at stake. But I think that’s what happened in the lesbian/gay movement, and it propelled the movement forward. Once people realize, ‘I know somebody who’s transgender,’ it changes everything…it makes it personal”

Today is Transgender Day of Visibility, and we celebrate those who have worked to make the transgender community more visible.

“Transgender people are often the most visible and therefore most marginalized part of our LGBT community, particularly those individuals who face multiple oppressions of class and race,” says Levasseur. “These individuals are on the front lines, fighting for everyone's rights—gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight—to be free from harmful gender stereotypes and to define one’s own personal sense of self and expression of that self.”
I have always said about “National Coming Out Day” and now “Transgender Visibility Day” that your first priority should be your safety. Is there a possibility that your life might be in danger? Is there a possibility that you might find yourself out on the street? Is there a possibility that you might lose your job? These are all questions you should ask yourself before you come out because there is no going back. You can’t say that I was only kidding.

As most of you know, I believe that change comes about through education. That is why tomorrow I am speaking in a class at a local university and next week I am giving a workshop at the National Association of Social Workers Connecticut conference. Tomorrow speaking engagement for the Stonewall Speakers a LGBT speaker’s bureau here in Connecticut and we go to high schools and colleges around the state to talk about what it means to be LGBT. If you think that you might be interested in speaking in schools, almost every state has a speaker bureau.

* Dru Levasseur will be giving a workshop at the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalitions's Transgender Lives: The Intersection of Health and Law Conference this April 27 in Farmington, CT at the UConn Health Center.

An Amazing Story

North Korea aggressiveness is in the news, but what you don’t hear is the human story…

Hyeonseo Lee: My escape from North Korea

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Saturday Six #469

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six #469

1. Have you ever wanted to compete in a race or marathon?
Yes, but I never finished. It was the most miserable day ever! When I was the farthest from the finish line it started to rain, a cold miserable raining day, my glasses fogged over and I was soaked to the bone.

2. If you had to choose one, which activity would you most like to try: rock climbing, surfing, hang gliding or skydiving?
I used to hang glide. When I crashed once I decided it wasn’t fun anymore.

3. What’s the most extreme exercise you enjoy?
Walking. When I was in my twenties I used to go backpacking and once time I went on a twenty-five mile hike with a fifty pound backpack.

4. What specific exercise do you hate most?
I really hate them all. But I try to walk 2 miles three or four times a week.

5. What makes you most uncomfortable about a gym atmosphere?

6. If you could afford to outfit the perfect gym/workout center in your own home, how often do you think you’d actually make use of it?
A treadmill and an exercise bike, and I try to exercise three or four times a week for an hour.

Saturday 9: Whenever I Call You "Friend"

Crazy Sam's Saturday 9: Whenever I Call You "Friend"

1) How did you meet your best friend?
In second grade, we were both interested in rockets

2) Mother Winters used to say she loved all us kids equally, but at various times she liked one of us more than the others. Does your "friend ranking" ever shift? Or is the person you think of today as your best friend always #1?
Yes, it does change over time and in different circumstances.
3) What makes you a good friend?
I listen and don’t judge

4) Think back to your childhood -- what games did you and your friends like to play?
We were never into sports, we were into science.

5) Would you rather lose your hair, or the little toe on your left foot? (Yes, you must commit to giving one up.)
I already lost my hair.

6) Think of  the phrase, "like nails on a blackboard." What is your least favorite sound?
That is the sound that sends shivers up my spine

7) Do you add fabric softener to your wash or place a softener sheet in the dryer?
I don’t use either one, I’m allergic to them.

8) Showtime, HBO, or neither?
Neither, I have Netflix on my computer.

9) Have you ever fired a gun?
Yes when I was a teenager and I also took skeet shooting in college for a gym course.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Friday Fill-ins

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins

1. I use _store brands foods whenever possible_.
2. _Hope Springs_ is one of my favorite movies.
3. It's _finally to get up in the seventies next week_
4. _Time after_ time _I say spring is here, but Mother Nature always has another Joker up her sleeve_!
5. I said _the price is still high_, and then he said _what can we do to close the deal_?
6. _An apple turnover_ is what I'm craving right now!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _reading or watching a Netflix movie_, tomorrow my plans include _visiting some friends_ and Sunday, I want to _go walking_!

Thursday, April 04, 2013

My Story Part 159 - The Seven Year Itch

It has been seven years since I started writing this blog, I had a Geocities website that I was keeping  my blog on since 2001 and in 2006 I came over to Blogger. Here is my first post from April 1, 2006
Business Trip

March 3rd

I have been away on a business trip to our corporate headquarters' for most of the week and I was stuck in boy mode. However on the bright side, I got to fly out and back on the corporate jet. That was so neat that it almost, almost made up for being stuck in boy mode. The plane is a Gulfstream IV and it holds eight passengers. When I arrived at the private plane end of the airport, I just walk up to the plane and handed the co-pilot my bags and she checked off my name. On takeoff from Bradley field I looked down the aisle and out the cockpit window, I could watch the pilot and co-pilot and see the runway. We cruised at 30,000 ft at 497 mph, on the bulkhead of the passenger cabin there was an altimeter and ground speed and on the rear bulkhead there was also an altimeter and speed but it also had airspeed, mile to go and a map with our location.

The only thing that got me a little nervous was when the co-pilot brought out the plane manuals and started reading. I thought what is she doing that for, is there a problem? But they both seemed OK, not rushed or excited and there were no flashing lights in the cockpit. So I thought it couldn't be any major problem, probably something minor like a radio or something. At work today, someone who is a pilot said that she was probably just reading the manual learning the aircraft.

On the way back the plane was almost filled and there were a couple of VP's on board as soon as we got airborne they raided the icebox and broke out the beer and snacks They started talking about business so I had to sit there while they were talking about some contract or other. Then one of them started making small talk with me. When someone mentioned that there was six inches of snow on the ground, I said "Shit". He asked me if I had some plans for the night and I said "Yeah, I was planning on going out." My brains slip's into "Little White Lie Mode", after all I couldn't say I was going out drag bar with some tranny friends and me dressed as Diana, so I said I had a date. So he asked, "Where were we going?" Brain spins a couple times trying to get into gear, so I said, "Hartford for dinner, but they probably have a parking band so I probably get a pizza and go over to her apartment", wink, wink, nod, nod and after that he just smiled and stop asking questions. Whew!

We made great time coming back, our airspeed was 600 mph with a 100 mph tailwind, but once we got on the ground and I had to drive home, it took longer to drive home than fly back from almost Ohio. I-91 traffic was going 30 - 40 mph in the snow, the roads were very bad.
A lot has happened since then, back then I was still working as a supervisor of a test department in a manufacturing facility of a multinational corporation. I hadn't transition yet, but I was on hormone for about a year and a half. This trip came about because we had to go out to corporate headquarters in Pittsburgh and visit one of our subcontractors who was having a problem.

I was only out at work to the HR Director or so I thought, but my technicians had figured a part of the puzzle out already. I was living almost full time as Diana, the only time I wasn’t was at work and that created an interesting experience when I was out in Pittsburgh.

I went out with the Project Engineer to dinner and we were to meet up with the Engineering VP there. Well the VP and his wife were late, so we had a few drinks to past the time and I was relaxed.

Well when the VP and his wife arrived we greeted one another and I said to the wife, “Hi, I’m Dia… Don” I had just started to say Diana but I caught myself just in time. I was use to going out after work as Diana and restaurant, drinks, relaxed atmosphere = Diana. Work, tense, busy atmosphere = work. And having two rum and Cokes didn't help.

Then in 2007 they shut the factory down and then we knew why they were sending so many of the jobs out to subcontractors. (I have heard from friends who are still working for the engineering division that they are thinking about starting up a new manufacturing  facility again, it seems like they can’t make money by having the work subcontracted.)