Sunday, February 25, 2007

Tomorrow at Work

When I go back tomorrow and my co-workers asked me what I did on my day off. I will say “Oh, nothing much.” When in reality it was the most empowering day in my life. I felt that I could maybe make a difference in the world, that my voice was heard.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

Just What the Doctor Ordered.

Last night after sitting all day in the hearing room I went to a free comedy show. The show was to provide an alternative to a night club act at a local bar which was to feature a blackface comedian drag show but because of pressure from the black and GLBT community the show was canceled. Even though the drag show was canceled the free solidarity comedy show was still performed.

The opening act was Peterson Toscano he did one act from his play "The Re-Education of George W. Bush" the act showed what it would be like if you had to be a black woman for a week, what some of the discrimination is like. It is hard for a white male to imagine what it would be like but Peterson pulled it off beautifully.

The main act was Karen Williams, she had me rolling in laughter from the moment she walked on stage until she finished her act. I can do her justice by telling you some of her routine because her performance was her show and one part built upon the other to build show that is greater than the sum of it parts. She used humor to teach social justice, even though you were laughing in your seats, there was a deeper truth that was very serious.

After her show she took questions from the audience and one of the comments that she made struck me. She said she knew just how many Blacks were in the audience, she said that is one thing black notice; how many other Blacks are in the room. What stuck me was I knew how many trans were in the room (4) and I usually note that also when I walk into a room. Maybe it is a characteristic of a minority group. Hmm…

If you can see either of these shows, go. They are well worth it.


On anther note, I am going to be quiet until after Wednesday because Mid-term exams are this week. Just posting what I can sneak in from work.

Friday, February 23, 2007

It Has Been a Long Day

I was at the Legislative Office Building all day waiting to testify, I was there from 9:30 and I left at 3:30 and I finally got to testify around two in the afternoon. Listening to all the people who are not transgender speak in favor of the bill and after my testimony I felt empowered, like maybe I am what I am doing might make a difference. Here is my testimony:

An Act Concerning Discrimination: SB1044

Honorable chairmen, senators and representatives, my name is Diana and I would like to urge you to vote in favor of this bill.

I have lived for most of my life in fear that I would be found out. I lived in fear of losing my job, because at work I am not out and I fear of being harassed or fired if anyone found out. I will not live in fear any more and that is why I am here today because I feel so strongly that this bill must be passed. I am a Transsexual and that is why I am willing to testify here today and to take the risk of going public.

As a transsexual and a director of a support group I have seen the effect of discrimination. I know of transsexuals that have gotten fired at work when they revealed their intentions to transition and change their gender. I know crossdressers who are afraid that if they are found out at work that they crossdress that they would be fired or harassed. I know individuals who are transsexuals and they have been refused renewal of their lease, they then they found it very difficult for find a new apartment. I have a friend who is a Female to Male Transsexual and he says that when he was a lesbian he was protected from discrimination, but now that he is a transsexual he is no longer protected. This is not right!

We do not want any quotas or any special rights. All we want is to be able to live our lives, to earn a living, to raise our family. We just want to be treated as equals.

I am not naïve enough to think that this bill will do away with discrimination, but it will make an employer, a businessperson or a landlord think twice before they fire or refuse service or refuse to rent to a transgendered person. It will show that the state of Connecticut does not condone that type of behavior.

Please pass this bill, thank you.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Manic Monday

What is the quality that you like least about yourself?
I eat too much.

My life would be simpler if...
If I was not trans……… being trans (well to put it bluntly) sucks

Do you generally take the high road or the low road?
I generally take the highroad, but every once in a while I have been known to take a shortcut.

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Eating. My doctors tell me my cholesterol is too high, I’m over weight and I don’t get enough exercise, it all boils do to I like good food.

Indiana University-South Bend Club Dedicated To Napping

I heard this on the radio on the way to work: Indiana University-South Bend has just started a new club, a napping club. They have about 30 – 35 members and they provide a dark room and air mattresses and you have to provide a pillow and blanket. They also have a moderator to wake you up for your next class.

Now that is my type of club!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

One Picture Says a Thousand Words

I found this on the website at The Home Page of George Edward Loper, I don’t know where it originally came from but the picture says it all….

By the Way Sunday

By the way...

If you could invent a holiday of your very own, what would it be?
National Chocolate Lover's Holiday

What day and month would you assign your holiday to?
February 1st so that you can lie back on a couch eating your chocolate and watch it snow outside.

How would you celebrate it?
Everyone would get a box of chocolate from the Chocolate Fairies that you had to eat that day.

Patrick’s Weekender

Saturday Six - Episode 149

Take the quiz: What game show host are you?

Which Game Show Host Are You?

Alex Trebek
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

2. What game show do you think you would be best as playing?
Probably Jeopardy, I always liked the show even though I don’t usually watch them and if I do it is usually as a last resort.

3. What game show do you think you would be worst at playing?
Wheel of Fortune, I hate that game show.

4. Have you ever applied or auditioned as a contestant for any game show? If so, which one?
Nope and don’t care to.

5. If you had to apply or audition for a game show, which one would you most likely choose?
Something that is real easy, liker guess your name. Because I panic under pressure.

6. If you found out you had to host a game show, which one would do you know well enough that you could actually host?


Q1 - Public Speaking: What is the largest group of people you have ever spoken in front of, and what was the focus of your talk/speech?
It was to a group of about 200 students and faculty. I was part of a panel discussing GLBT issues.

Q2 - Freedom of Speech: Earlier this week, former Miami Heat basketball player Tim Hardaway said on a sports radio talk show that he would not want a gay player on his team. "You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States." National Basketball Association commissioner David Stern, upon learning of the remarks, banished Hardaway from this weekend's NBA's All-Star activities in Las Vegas. Despite what you think about Hardaway's comments, do you think the NBA took the right, appropriate or just action in barring him from the League's All-Star functions?
I believe everyone has the right to say what they want, as long as it is not hateful. From the above quote, I would not say it meets my definition of hateful. Bigoted, yes.
Did the NBA have to right to spend him, yes. He is a spokesman for the NBA and therefore what he says reflects badly on the NBA.
We can legislate how people behave towards one and other but we cannot legislate what they think

Q3 - Food Poisoning: The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is warning consumers not to eat from certain jars of Peter Pan peanut butter or Great Value peanut butter due to risk of contamination with Salmonella Tennessee (a bacterium that causes food borne illness). The affected jars of Peter Pan and Great Value peanut butter have a product code located on the lid of the jar that begins with the number "2111." Have you ever had food poisoning? If so, what made you sick, and can you still eat that particular food? If a restaurant was involved, can you still eat food from the establishment that contributed to your food poisoning?
Nope, but my father did at one time. It was so bad he needed to be hospitalized. The state public health officials came to our house to interview him when he got home to trace where the contamination came from. It was from bad roast beef he got a local deli.

Q4 - Purchases: What was the last thing you purchased, and what do you think you will purchase next?
The last purchase was a digital voice recorder that I got so that I can record interviews that I have to do for a class. My next major purchase is a 500G external hard drive and that will be followed by a MP3 player.
The digital voice recorder can also hole 1 hour of music and when I saw how easy it was to record my CD, I got hooked. So I want to record my whole CD collection to MP3.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Week Number Fifty-Five:

What spiritual concept, from any religion, is the hardest for you to understand? Is it something you have studied, or something you have only observed from the ‘outside’
I have a hard time understanding those religions that take a literal interpretation of the Bible or those who take one section out of context. Example is those who are against homosexuals and they cite passages where the Bible says man shall not lie with another man. But they have no problems with not following other passages like not eating seafood without scales (lobsters, shrimp and clams) or not wearing clothes made up of two fabrics (cotton/polyester) or they would never think of selling their daughter into slavery or the one I like is marrying you brother’s wife if he should die.

What kind of doctor would you want to be?
I am not really cut out to be a doctor, I panic way too easily.

If you could run any existing charity, which one would you pick? Why? How would you change it, or would you keep it just as it is?
I do not know if I would want to run any agency but if I had to pick one it would be True Colors as they say on their web-site is a….
“Sexual Minority Youth and Family Services is a non-profit 501 (c) (3) organization that combats homophobia, gender bias, and racism. We provide support, education, and advocacy to those responsible for the health, education, and well-being of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Intersex Youth and Families.”

I know the woman who runs it and I know I wouldn’t want her job, you have to put so much energy and love into it; that it would wear me out.

Manic Monday

Do you have a regular bedtime routine that helps you get to sleep?
Nope, I just crawl into bed around 10:30 – 11:00

On average, how many hours of sleep do you get each night?
Five hours of sleep

How many hours do you actually require and/or like to have?
Seven or eight hour of sleep would be very nice. On weekends I wake up around four, than toss and turn for a while but I can then go back to sleep and wake up around seven. On work days I fall back to sleep just in time for the alarm top go off.

How do you deal with insomnia?
Advil PM.

Monday, February 12, 2007

What Would You Do?

I was just reading a blog written by a spouse whose husband is slowly slipping towards transitioning. They are both deeply in love and do not want their marriage to end, but all the signs are there that he will transition. Whether he will go on hormones and have surgery remains to be seen. She on the other hand I think would stay with him only if he didn’t go on hormones. It is sad to see because from what I see in their eyes I know they love each other, but I can also see the agony.
What would you do if your spouse or partner came to you and told you that they had been living a lie, that they felt that they were really a woman or man inside?
Would you stay by you spouse or partner, for better or worst? Would you run as fast as you can? Would you still love each other? Would you remain as friends?
This couple that I know, I don’t think she would mind what people thought, but she has said that she is not a lesbian and wouldn’t stay married if he had the surgery. She would stay married if he just lived as a female but with out hormones. They are now being mistaking for a lesbian couple and have a hard time showing affection in public like they use to be able to do. They ride the train a lot and they use to sleep on each other’s shoulder but now if they do it they get stares. Or if they hold hands walking down the street, the kids chant “Lesbos” she says that she doesn’t mind because she knows he still has all his male parts intact and that is what counts for her.
I have seen spouses throw out there spouse and feel betrayed. I have seen spouses stay married and I have seen them divorce but stay close friends. I have seen lesbians couples stay together and get married; I have seen lesbian couples break apart.
There are never any winners, you just have to make the best the hand that you were dealt.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

What’s for Dinner?

I made a crock pot of chili today and it was torture to be in the house. All day I had to smell the chili and I kept on sneaking a taste!

Out of the Shadows

By the Way Sunday

By the way...
When you think of Valentine's Day, what comes to mind? Special memories, traditions?

Elementary school, with little boxes taped in front of the desks filled with Valentines.

Do you have any special plans this year?

If you had a choice, what Valentine goodie would you love to receive?
A hug.

Do you have a special friend or relative that you'd love to treat this Valentine's Day? Why? (choose someone other than your true love or your mate for this treat)
No, I am not that close to anyone. I takes a very special person to love a transsexual.

Saturday Six - Episode 148

Patrick’s Weekender

1. A friend arrives from out of town and wants to go to dinner at a nice locally-owned restaurant: where would you take her?
I would take her to Tuscany’s in Middletown, it is not your “Typical” Italian restaurant but as the name implies it is more from the central mountain region of Italy.

2. Your friend then says he wants to learn something about the history of your city: where would you take him first?
To the town’s central historic district and visit some of the old colonial homes there.

3. Does your current hometown have any specific kind of weather threats (i.e., tornado alley, etc.) or natural disaster threats (i.e., earthquake faults, volcanic activity) that concerns you?
The occasional hurricane.

4. Take the quiz: What city shares your personality?

You scored as Boston. You are Boston, Massachusetts! You are creative and outspoken, and probably possess a bit of a distaste for authority. You appreciate diversity in your life.





Rio de Janeiro






Which city shares your personality?
created with

5. Have you ever visited this city or lived there before?
Oh yes, many times and it is a nice liberal New England city.

6. Based on what you know about that city, either firsthand or from others, do you think it would be a good fit for you? Do you think it would be a better fit than the city in which you now live?
Yes, I would fit in there, but I wouldn’t like to live there, I am more of suburban type person. I also live close enough to a small city where there are enough activities for me.

Last Night

It went well last night. I am so very lucky that to have family and friends that are so supportive. I know many individuals who family and friends have disowned them, so I feel doubly bless to have such a good family and friends.

Much to my amazement; one of the couples told me that someone at work just transitioned and the other couple told me that somebody at where he works just started transitioning (which I knew about) but the husband of one of the wife’s friend transitioned three years ago. So what that means is that two people who were in their wedding party have been related to someone who has transitioned; the husband of one of the bridesmaids and me.

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Tonight is Another Milestone

Tonight I am coming out to my old high school friends. I have been lucky so far with my family and now I am tackling my friends. I have known them since high school some for over forty years; we usually get together one or two times a year. I am planning for the worst and hoping for the best so if they are not accepting I don’t think it will be too hard on me. It will be more of a sadness, a breaking of a link from the past that I would like to keep.
I know there will be more coming out as I transition; banks, brokers, the guy who plows the driveway, the…. and on and on.
So wish me luck.

Friday, February 09, 2007


Q1 - Legislative Perks: In Indiana, home to the Super Bowl champion Indianapolis Colts, 45 state lawmakers took advantage of the Colts' offer to buy two tickets at $600.00 each to attend the Super Bowl game in Miami, FL. Do you think state law makers or members of Congress should be given preferential treatment when it comes to purchasing highly sought after tickets to sporting events?

How is that for a simple but direct answer. Here in Connecticut we just convicted the governor for bribery and have passed some strict laws limiting the monetary gifts or perks lawmakers can receive; now we just have to see if they are enforced.

Q2 - Fast Food: Putting aside for a moment how bad you know it is for you, what is your favorite fast food meal?

Wooper Jr with cheese.

Q3 - Rules of the Street: For some, the lure of an iPod may be less about music and more about blotting out the world around them. But in some major New York cities, at least, the pause button could soon be pressed on this most modern of luxuries because someone has decided it's dangerous. New York State Senator Carl Kruger plans to introduce legislation that would ban the use of handheld devices such as BlackBerries, iPods, cell phones, and portable video games while crossing streets in major New York cities. Under the proposed law, pedestrians and bicyclists caught using any kind of electronic device while crossing a street would be hit with a $100.00 fine. Do you agree with Kruger's proposal? Should handheld devices be banned in certain public settings?

I think it is a good idea but unenforceable. People are just lost in their little own world and clueless to what is happening around them. If they want to walk out in front of a trailer truck and get flatten, well they won’t do that again. I hate to sound crass but I have seen joggers with earphones on just run across the street without looking.

Q4 - Movie Ratings: The American Medical Association Alliance will soon release the results of a national survey that it says shows that the majority of adults support an "R" rating for Hollywood movies that feature people smoking cigarettes. What do you think? Should movies featuring cigarette smoking actors or actresses be given an "R" rating?

How about a “S” or a “RS” so we know what is in the movie and we can make up our own minds.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Manic Monday

Flow It, Show It- Hair, Hair, Hair!

Do you enjoy having your hair cut/styled?

Now I do, but when I went to a barber I use to hate it. No matter what I told them, I always ended up with my hair being a ¼ inch long. Now I go to a stylist and tell her I want it 2 inches, it is 2 inches not a ¼ inch.

How often do you have your hair cut?

I should go every six to eight weeks, but is more like 10 or 12 weeks.

Are you particular about what shampoo/conditioner/other hair products you use? What are your favorites?

I’m not fussy I usually by Prell

Do you think a man should accept his baldness or do the comb over/ toupee/Hair Club for men route?

Right now I accept it when I’m Don

What steps would you take if you started to lose your hair?

It is too late to worry about it, it’s gone already. As Diana I have to wear a wig and I can tell you it is no fun. On summer days it is hot and sweaty and I have to wash it every couple of days. So you should have at least two wigs in order to rotate them. On windy days you are always worrying about them blowing off. A good wig cost around $400 and lasts only around six months.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Harry Benjamin's Syndrome

WOW! Once again Europe leads the way. I heard some rumors of this at First Event but this is the first time I looked I up on the internet.

Harry Benjamin's Syndrome is an intersex condition developed in the early stages of pregnancy affecting the process of sexual differentiation between male and female. This happens when the brain develops as a certain sex but the rest of the body takes on the physical characteristics of the opposite sex. The difference between this and most other intersex conditions is that there is no apparent evidence until much later after the baby is born or even as late as adolescence.

Harry Benjamin's Syndrome was known in the past with many different names, being Transsexualism (ICD-10) the most common used in relation with it.

"Transsexualism (HBS) is now regarded by the world's leading experts in the field as another of the many biological variations that occur in human sexual formation -an intersex condition- where the sex indicated by the phenotype and genotype is opposite the morphological sex of the brain. People with the condition of transsexualism (HBS) are therefore born with both male and female characteristics and, like many others with atypical sexual development, seek rehabilitation of their phenotype and endocrinology to accord with their dominant sexual identity; an identity which is determined by the structure of the brain. Transsexualism (HBS) is about being a particular sex, not doing it. It is also about recognizing gender norms, not challenging them." -Karen Gurney & Eithne Mills. 2005. Murdoch University Electronic Journal of Law, Vol 12, No #1 & #2

By The Way Sunday

In day to day life there are so many little moments that touch us.
By the way...
Do you have a recent touching moment to share?

It is not recent but it is one that sticks in my memory.
I do a lot outreach (speaking engagements) at local colleges and universities to classes that most of the students are psychology majors. I was standing in line at a restaurant waiting for our table and this young woman comes up to me and tells me; “You probably don’t remember me, but you spoke in our Human Sexuality class and now I have a transsexual client. Because of what I learned in class that day I knew how to relate to her.”
Every time I think of what she said, it gives me a warm glow to know that in some small way you have help to make someone else’s life a little easier.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Smith College – Jennifer F. Boylan

I went up with a friend to Smith College last night to hear Jennifer F. Boylan keynote speech at the Gender Conference; she is the author of “She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders” and was on the “Oprah” show twice and “Larry King”. She read from her new book that I think is coming out this summer. I enjoyed the excerpt from it that she read and at times it reminded me of my boyhood. I had a stash of clothes that I had hidden and use to put on when I did my homework also and it reminded me of one incident that happen one night.

I was dressed and sitting at my desk when I heard my father coming down the stairs to the den where I studied. I jumped up shedding my clothes and putting on my male clothes in my haste I stubbed my toe, breaking it. There I was sitting quietly at my desk when my father walked in, the scene of the dutifully student studying away while I was in pain trying to keep tears from flowing down my face.

But one of the points I think she was trying to make is that we all have a unique backgrounds that we should be proud of our past and not try to hide from it. That does not mean that we carry a flag around saying that we are trans but rather we should not deny it to ourselves. She talked about the differences that gives us a different prospective on life and how we cannot block it out because our background has shaped our personality, something that I talked about in my blog; “Are We Women

The weather made the drive back miserable, the normal one hour drive from Northampton took over three hours and I didn’t get back until midnight. At times traffic was only going 15 mph because I was stuck behind snowplows from Northampton down to Springfield.