Saturday, October 31, 2009

My Story Part 6 - Things My Mother Never Told Me

I was up at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown MA and the morning that I took this picture we were wandering around the Highland Lighthouse grounds in North Truro. We went into the little gift shop at the base of the lighthouse and they asked if we would want to take a tour of the lighthouse. So we decided to join the group of people to tour the lighthouse. As I walked along with the group the guide explained the history of the lighthouse and as we started to climb the open spiral staircase to the top of the lighthouse, all of a sudden I realized that I was wearing a skirt! That I would make a great show for the people behind me as I climbed the staircase, so I went to the back of the line and went up last and I made sure I was the first one down the stairs.

Saturday Six – Episode 290

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 290

1. We’ll start with a trivia question, and just for fun, no searching for the answer: it should be a guess! There’s only one day of the week that Halloween hasn’t fallen on since this blog began. What day of the week would you guess that is? (I’ll reveal the answer on Monday!)
I would say Tuesday, but that is only a wild guess since I don’t know when you started Saturday Six.

2. Would you dress a pet up for halloween? Do you think yours would enjoy it or hate it?
No, I think that the pet would be indifferent to it.

3. (And yes, I realize this is a potentially-loaded question!) Should news anchors on shows like Today dress up on the air for Halloween, or should they stick to news only?
Well I do not consider the Today show or other morning shows as “news shows”. Therefore, it does not bother me.

4. If you were to buy only one kind of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters, and that candy happened to be your favorite, what would end up filling your candy bowl?
A very small amount would go in to the candy bowl. It one be one for me, one for the trick-or-treaters, two form me, one for the trick-or-treaters, etc…

5. Over at the newly-redesigned, there’s a halloween quiz about famous movie quotes. Take the quiz: How well did you do?

6 out of ten – A demon loving dilettante - You are a true child of the night.
I'm surprised since I didn't see most of the movies.

6. What horror movie theme music do you think is the scariest?
The music from the Alfred Hickok movies.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Saturday 9: She's a Beauty

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: She's a Beauty

1. Do you consider yourself beautiful?
No, I’m over weight

2. Do you think you have a great sense of humor?
I have a subtle sense of humor

3. What is the funniest thing you ever said?
Long, long time ago, when I was a teenager and we were shopping at the mall with some friends. A friend was talking to me and I answered by making a buzzing sound replacing the words and just using inflections… Buzz, buZZz, BuzzZ, BUzz, buzz, buzz?

4. What's the funniest thing you ever did?
Oh… I don’t if I could remember any. After all that is a span of six decades.

5. In a partner, how important are looks?
Are we suppose to use a Likert scale? I’ll answer “somewhat”

6. In a partner, how important is sense of humor?

7. What's the funniest thing a partner ever said?
Oh, I don’t know. I don’t keep a score card

8. What's the funniest thing a partner ever did?
See above.

9. In a partner, how important is intelligence?
Somewhat, I think the chemistry between partners is the most important thing in choosing a partner.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Friday Fill-ins #148

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins #148


1. It was a dark and stormy night, _when the boat sail on a three hours voyage_.

2. _They ordered the wrong books for her_ so I offered to take the books myself.

3. Rushing out, _I realized that I had just locked myself out of my house_.

4. _It’s a full moon tonight_...I think I heard a howl!

5. Shhhh... _you can hear the doors creak_.

6. _I hope at the awards dinner that they_ give me something good to eat!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _going to the coffee shop_, tomorrow my plans include _doing homework_ and Sunday, I want have to _finish writing this week's paper_!

Maine - Protect Marriage Equality Vote No On1

Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Hate Crime Bill

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My Story Part 5

This week’s story is a short story because I have two papers to write for my classes next week.

As part of the medical “gatekeeper” requirements to begin hormones, you are required to have at least 3 months on therapy. Well I had never been in therapy before so I had no idea what to expect, only the image of the parody that we see in the comics or on TV.

So here I am walking into to her office and there low and behold is the classic over stuffed chair and a couch. I sit in the overstuffed chair. After she took my history and demographics she said the we were going to do word association, she said “big” and I said “small…(giggle)” She said, “father” and I said “mother…(giggle)” She said, “house” and I just started to giggle uncontrollably. She asked me what was so funny and I said this is so “classic, right out of the Bob Newhart show… this is so, so Freudian!”

I guess I did all right because three months later I was approved for hormones. There are a number trans-people who are opposed to the Standard of Care that is imposed upon us by the medical community. They see it as hoops that we have to jump through in order to receive hormones and surgery. However, I do not feel that way, there have been studies that have shown there are less regrets by following the SOC. For more information on the APA and Gender Identity Reform read “Diagnosis vs. Treatment: Barriers to Medical Care

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Did You Know In Connecticut…

That if you vote for a third party candidate who is also is a candidate for another party that the votes are totaled together.

Suppose a Democratic candidate is also on the Green party ballot, the candidate receive the total of the two votes. Say the candidate receives 1500 vote from the Democratic Party ticket and 500 from the Green Party ticket, the candidate total vote would be 2000 votes and if the Republican candidate received 1750 votes the Republican would lose.

Connecticut is one of a few states that tally the votes for the candidate, not the party. Therefore, you are not reducing the votes for the candidate, but you are sending a message that you support the alternative party platform. I had always not voted for the minority party because I didn’t want to let the other major party win by default, but now that I know this I will be voting for the minority candidate to send a message. I wish other states did that, it will break the strangle hold that the major parties have and allow minority party to form.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Saturday Six – Episode 289

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 289

1. What is the most unusual ethnic food you’ve had at a restaurant recently?
Pizza with clam sauce.

2. What is the last ethnic dish you tried to make at home?
Lasagna. (Hey! Italian food is ethnic food!)

3. Regarding your answer to question 2, was your concoction better or worse than you’d hoped?

Better, it came out very good. I used no boil Lasagna noodles

4. What exotic dish do you most wish you could replicate in your own kitchen?

Lobster ravioli with a Newberg sauce

5. Take the quiz: Which What Kind of Chinese Food Are You?

You Are Sweet and Sour Pork

You are a highly emotional and sometimes even volatile person. You tend to be extremely unpredictable.
One moment you're sweet. The next moment you're sour. And who's to say that you can't be both at once.

You tend to order erratically and unusually off the menu of life. You go with your gut, and sometimes your gut is in the mood for some pretty weird combinations.
You've had some pretty crazy adventures in your life, without even trying you. You just go with what you are feeling, no matter where it leads you.

6. Have you ever tried the dish mentioned in the answer to question 5?
I hate sweet and sour pork… give me Bar-B-Q ribs any day.

I think you get my drift here, I hate ethic foods. I’ll eat them if I have to, but I very rarely enjoy them.

National Transgender Discrimination Survey

The National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force released the report last month on discrimination in the work place. the report found,

▪▪ Double the rate of unemployment: Survey respondents experience unemployment at twice the rate of the population as a whole.

▪▪ Ninety-seven percent (97%) have experienced mistreatment, harassment, or discrimination on the job including:removal from direct contact with clients, disclosure of confidential information to co-workers, and physical or sexual assault. Poverty

▪▪ High rates of poverty: Fifteen percent (15%) of transgender people in our sample lived on $10,000 per year or less–double the rate of the general population.

▪▪ Forty-seven percent (47%) of survey respondents experienced an adverse job action because they are transgender — they did not get a job, were denied a promotion or were fired—that directly impacted their employment status.

▪▪ A staggering number of the people surveyed, 26%, lost their jobs due to their gender identity/expression. Particularly hard hit were those who were Black (32%) or Multiracial (37%).

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Conference

I was at a Human Rights conference at UConn yesterday and today, I learned a lot and took copious notes. The last panel discussion that I went to was titled “Neither Separate Nor Equal: Human Rights and the Rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Individuals in the United States”

My question for you, did the panel cover:

a. no tans-topics
b. a token amount of trans-topics
c. was a quarter trans-topics
d. all trans-topics

If you answered “b”, you were correct. There was just a token amount trans-issues that was covered. However, the discussion was very good, one panelist talked about how the image of the rich gay is hurting the passage of Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). The opposition is saying there is no need for employment protection their earning show that they are not being discriminated. The speaker pointed out that the LG population earns less than the general population if you break the data down to like individuals. If you compare single heterosexual males to gay males, the gay males earn less or of you compare married heterosexual couples with a child with a homosexual couples with a child, the heterosexual couple earns.

I just got home and I am tired! Sitting around all day takes a lot out of you.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Saturday 9: Hey Jealousy

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: Hey Jealousy

1. Tell us a story when you got jealous.
I don’t get jealous.

2. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?
My weight

3. Who do you mess with the most?
The computer and these memes!
[7:27AM Ops... I miss read the question - Since I don't like to be messed with, I don't mess with anyone.]

4. Do you have any special talents? What are they?
I can wiggle my nose and ears at the same time.

5. If you could have a secret fling that no one would ever find out about, would you?
No. Since I am single, why should I hide an affair and if I was married, I wouldn’t have an affair.

6. What's the furthest you've been from home?
The west coast

7. How many Saturday 9 player's blogs do you typically visit?
All that leave a comment.

8. Some great bloggers lose their "mojo" and quit blogging. Could you see that happening to you?
Yes, someday, I hope not for a while. If I do, I will not leave you dangling, I will let you know that I stopped. I hate it when someone stops cold turkey, you do not know if they are alright or if something happened to them.

9. What's the biggest mistake you've made so far this year?

I don’t know if I made any mistakes this year. However, I have made some great ones. One time I defibrillated a whole room. We were testing defibrillators and I accidentally had it connected to the AC power lines through an oscilloscope and everything in the room went poof! $10,000 later everything was repaired.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Friday Fill-ins #147

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins #147


1. The crickets sing, _and frog’s croak_?

2. _Home is_ wherever you are.

3. I want to get far away from the _bigots_.

4. _I won the Powerball for $200 million_; this was a dream.

5. But as for me _I rather go on vacation somewhere quite_.

6. _Another meeting is where_ I come from

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _going to Jitter’s Coffee House_, tomorrow my plans include _going to a Human Rights Conference in Storrs_ and Sunday, I want to _have to do homework_!

Hate Crimes Bill Passes

National Center for Transgender EqualityPress Release:

(October 22, 2009, Washington, DC) In an historic move, the United States Senate, by a vote of 68 to 29, joined the House of Representatives in passing The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, which will be the first federal law to include gender identity and transgender people. Once signed by the President, this law will add sexual orientation, gender identity, gender and disability to the categories included in existing federal hate crimes law and will allow local governments who are unable or unwilling to address hate crimes to receive assistance from the federal government. President Obama has indicated that he will sign the bill into law.

"Transgender people have been waiting so many years for assistance from the federal government in addressing the rampant and disproportional violence that we face," noted Mara Keisling, Executive Director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. "Today we move one step closer to our goal of ending violence motivated by hatred. Everyone in America deserves to live free of fear and of violence. We know that the dedicated leadership and hard work of Senator Kennedy and Representative Conyers and many other legislators made the passage of this bill possible. Words can't really express our gratitude for their commitment to equality for all people."

In the past, federal law has only mentioned gender identity in a negative context, such as explicitly excluding transgender people from the Americans with Disabilities Act. The passage of the hate crimes bill marks a significant turning point from the days in which the federal government contributed to the oppression of transgender people to today when federal law takes action to protect our lives.

The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act will have a number of positive impacts. First, it will help educate law enforcement about the frequent hate violence against transgender people and the need to prevent and appropriately address it. Second, it will help provide federal expertise and resources when it is needed to overcome a lack of resources or the willful inaction on the part of local and/or state law enforcement. Third, it will help educate the public that violence against anyone is unacceptable and illegal.

Transgender people continue to be disproportionately targeted for bias motivated violence. Thirteen states and Washington, DC have laws which include transgender people in state hate crimes laws.

The UConn Human Rights Conference

The next couple of days I will be at a conference, on Friday I will be at the UConn School Law and on Saturday I will be up at the main campus in Storrs for the Human Rights conference. They have a couple of panel discussion that I want to attend.

On Friday, I want to attend these thrilling panel discussions that I know will keep me on the edge of me seat, “Economic Rights and Poverty” and “Mobilizing and Legislating for a Human Rights Based Approach to Welfare.” In no way was my decision to attend these discussions based on the fact that one of my professors is on the panel.

Saturday’s conference will be held on the main campus in Storrs and I want to attend two panel discussions in the morning, “Implementing Human Rights at the Local Level.” In the afternoon I want to attend “Neither Separate Nor Equal: Human Rights and the Rights of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Individuals in the United States”

It should be interesting to see if the LGBT panel discusses any “T” issues. The description says…

This panel will address lingering inequalities for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) people in the United States, including the ramifications of unequal access to health care, insurance and financial benefits; protections against bias-motivated harassment which vary by state and do not currently exist at the federal level; the lack of legal recognition for marriages and unions between same sex couples; and ongoing legislation and initiatives to deny rights to LGBT individuals and couples.

What is interesting about the conference is that many of the authors of my textbooks will be on the panels. And in all honesty, I think that all the panels discussions that I am going to attend does hold some interest for me. My main interest is in the last panel in LGBT rights, but I just didn't want to attend that one panel.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My Story Part 4

This week’s story is about being “Read” or being “Clocked” which means being identified as transgender. It can have some serious conquests, but other times it can be funny, their expressions can be priceless. The fact that I was identified as transgender in my mind is neutral, it is how they behave afterward that is important.

The first story is about being “read” as I was walking in to a store. This guy opened the door for me and as I walked through you could just see a change in his expression, his jaw just kind of dropped and he just stood there, with a blank look. It is a look that I have gotten to know quite well, the look of when the brain slips out of gear. It is like when you are driving a standard transmission car, you missed the shift into fourth and the transmission just makes that grinding sound as you try to get it in gear. Well the brain does the same thing when you read someone who you thought was a woman or a man but is not. The next story is a case in point.

It was when I had my car repaired after an accident that I had last year and I had to take it to an auto body shop. As I was talking to the owner, he was standing about two - three feet from me and all of a sudden his eye opened a little wider and he takes a step backwards while he was talking. However, after we were talking for a while the gap closed to normal social distance and he was relaxed again. He had over come his initial shock of reading me and he made a subconscious decision that I was OK.

The same thing happened when the family went out to eat a lobster bake at my cousin’s son’s restaurant. I was talking to a women that is a friend of my cousin and we knew each other since the sixties when my cousin got married. She was sitting next to me, we were talking about my cousins and she turned to me and asked how long I had known my cousins. I replied all my life that he is my cousin and she replied that she thought my cousin only had two cousins; she named my brother and me. I said I was Don… That blank stare came over her face as she tried to comprehend what I had just said. She replied… “Oh, OK” and she just continued in with our conversation.

The forth story was not so nice; I was at a fast food restaurant near my home. As I was waiting in line, the kids working in back spied me and read that I was transgender. They started to come out from the back of the restaurant and giggling. One boy walked by holding his wrist limp and swaying his butt, giggling. I spoke to the manager at the counter and his reply was, “They are only high school students, what do you expect?” my answers was, “They are also your employees.” However, I didn’t press it any further.

Another time when I was at a neighborhood grocery store, the person who was bagging groceries looked at me and said, “What the hell are you?” he then walked away and started bagging another check-out line. The checkout clerk apologized while bagging my groceries; she was embarrassed by his behavior.

These are many examples of what trans-people go through everyday, but it could be a lot worst. We could be beaten or killed if someone found out that you’re transgender. Every year we remember those who were killed because they were transgender; on November 20, the Transgender Day of Remembrance is held.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Interracial Couple Denied A Marriage License

Who says that there is no more racism?

It is alive and well down in Louisianan.

There is a justice of the peace in Hammond LA who denied an interracial couple a marriage licenses, he said,
"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."
DUH! When you treat people differently because of their race…that’s racism! I don’t care how many friends you have that are black, when you will not marry them because of their race you are discriminating against them.

In another article he is quoted as saying,
"I don't do interracial marriages because I don't want to put children in a situation they didn't bring on themselves," Bardwell said. "In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer."
Yeah, like becoming President of the United States.

In the same article attorney Katie Schwartzman for the ACLU said,
"It is really astonishing and disappointing to see this come up in 2009," said American Civil Liberties Union of Louisiana attorney Katie Schwartzman. "The Supreme Court ruled as far back as 1963 that the government cannot tell people who they can and cannot marry."
Except if you are a same–sex couple, then its OK for the government to tell you that you can’t get married.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Richard Heene’s Sons (The Balloon Boy) Record Homophobic Rap Video

On YouTube Richard Heene has a video of his sons singing a rap song with lyrics that promote violence against homosexuals…
A video named "Not Pussified," starring Heene's three boys, shows the brothers shooting off rockets, while spewing curses and lyrics that refer to attacking homosexuals with rocks.

"I look up in the tree. What do I see? I see a fa**ot trying to pee on me," the children rap on the video. "I pick up a rock. Threw it at his c**k."
CBS News

I am not going to publish a link to the video because it does not deserve any more attention.

Manic Monday #186

Lisa’s Manic Monday #186

How do you define honesty?
The Merriam - Webster on-line dictionary defines honesty as “a : fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b : adherence to the facts : sincerity” I think that is a pretty good definition, but it is also includes not leaving out facts that are detrimental.

What is the main thing that makes you unique?
I think it is my personality; I am shy, reserved, and quite. However, get me to talk about human rights and I become very passionate.

What is your biggest fear or worry?
Not being liked and having no friends as I get old. We are all social animals and we need company. I worry about going into a nursing home and being shunned because I am trans.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

No on Maine Question 1

The Bangor Daily News ran an editorial yesterday on the ballot question #1 in favor defeating the ballot question.

I have been asked why I support defeating the ballot question; doesn’t the domestic partnership law give all the same rights as marriage? That is an easy questions to answer… I believe in equality. Separate but equal was wrong in civil rights and it is wrong for marriage. My main objection is when someone is asked “married, single, divorced, widowed or domestic partnership” and they answer domestic partnership. They just “Outed” themselves as being homosexual. If that is not discrimination, then I do know what is. Segregation is wrong whether it is what bathroom to use or how you define marriage.

Some people say that marriage is a religious institution, they are wrong; it is both religious and civil. This bill has clauses writing in to it that allows religious institution to be exempt from marrying or recognizing same-sex couples. Others say change the laws and make all civil marriages domestic partnership and I say fine, then pick up the phone and call you legislator and tell them to introduced a bill to do that, and lobby for the bill. However, don’t penalize gays because you are not willing to do that. It is either stand up for your beliefs or shut-up and vote “No” on question 1.

The Bangor Daily News writes,
While such debate is healthy, this question boils down to a simple point: Everyone must be treated equally under the state and U.S. Constitution. Denying civil marriage rights to same-sex couples violates that tenet.
The article then goes on to write about religious freedom,
The Maine legislation also took important steps, mirroring the state’s Human Rights Law, to respect religious freedom and traditions. No church will be compelled to perform or recognize marriages that run counter to its faith. This strikes the difficult balance of respecting religious freedom while ensuring equality.
The article said that when the governor was asked about the bill he said,
“It’s important to have your own faith and connection to God,” Gov. Baldacci, a Catholic, told The Associated Press recently. “At the same time, it isn’t just that faith that you’re the governor of. … You’re governor of all the people.”

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Saturday Six – Episode 288

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 288

1. Of your various email accounts, think of the one with the most cluttered inbox: how many “unread” emails are in it?
None, I either read them or delete them.

2. How often do you make an effort to clean out your inbox?
Never! I have 12292 emails in my yahoo account and thousand in my main email account (I only delete spam and Facebook messages)

3. Considering most of your accounts, which is generally the most full: your inbox, your junk folder or your sent box?
My inbox, but it is close to my sent box.

4. Who was the last person to send you an email, and what was the last company or institution to send you an email?
To the priest at the MCC church, he is on the planning committee for the local Transgender Day of Remembrance. The last person that I sent and email to was my brother to co-ordinate what we are going to do to take our aunt out to diner for her birthday.

5. Take the quiz:
Which Email Function Are You?

You Are Send

You are confident, assertive, and a real go-getter. You like to take action.
You know that things won't get done unless you do them, and you're always willing to take the first step.

You're the type of person who applies for jobs you may not get and initiates friendships with strangers.
You believe that life can be full of wasted opportunities if you're not careful. You rather do too much than do too little.

6. You receive a forwarded email from a friend that you know to be factually inaccurate. You confirm this at a fact-checking site like Do you send your friend a note pointing out the errors, or just delete it without mention?
Sometimes, I might. If I did and it was an email blast to all of their friends, I would just send it to the sender. I don’t want to embarrass them.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Saturday 9: Inside Job

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: Inside Job

1. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a rocket scientist.

2. Did you ever pursue that career?
No, I went in to electrical engineering instead.

3. If you are not in that field, what changed?

I decided I liked playing with electricity more than playing with rockets

4. What is your current job?
The best job there is… I’m retired!

5. What's the best part of what you do?

Not having to worry about sleeping through the alarm clock, because I don’t have an alarm clock any more.

6. Do you have plans to do something else down the road?
Yes, I'm get my Master's degree in Social Work. Now there’s a career change for you from electrical engineer to social worker.

7. How did you get your present job? If you are a stay at home mom, how long did you need to plan that move?
You work for 35 years and then you retire. No planning necessary, growing old comes naturally.

8. Did your parents influence your choices of jobs over the years?
No, not really. I think they were happy that I went into engineering.

9. What advice would you give your children on careers?
Like your job, you are going to be working for a very long time. So like what you do.

Friday Fill-ins #146

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins #146


1. So are we going _going up to the cottage for Thanksgiving_?

2. _A bumpy road in life_ is what's up ahead.

3. I love to _take a windjammer trip up the Maine coast someday_.

4. _I like to get a netbook_ of some sort.

5. I walk a _lot but not on a rainy, snowy, drizzly day like today_.

6. _A positive outlook in life_ is the true elixir of life!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward doing _homework_, tomorrow my plans include _doing homework and going out to a benefit performance at night_ and Sunday, I want have to _read a book for homework and writing a journal entry about it_!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My Story Part 3

This is a continuing series that I am writing based on events that have happened in my life that I have had as a result of being transgender. This series was inspired by watching theater by Scott Turner Schofield where he preformed skits based on his life.

Next week in Provincetown MA. is Fantasia Fair the oldest transgender conference in the nation and it starts on the Sunday and last until the following Sunday. The first weekend over laps with Women’s week and ends on the weekend that the gay AA comes up there for their week. Fantasia Fair was started back in 1975 and unlike other conferences, it s not limited to one hotel but is spread out all over town.

Provincetown is located on the very tip of Cape Cod and is an old Portuguese fishing village that during the summer mushrooms in to a tourist destination, my parents use to call it an “artist colony” The year population is a little over 3,000 people but during the summer the streets become jammed with pedestrians. The town was known for it summer stock with Tennessee Williams, Eugene O'Neill, and Susan Glaspell and also its street artist that lined the side walks.

I had just started going to the Connecticut Outreach Society support group a year earlier and I heard about the conference when several of the members came back from the conference in 1999. In 2000, a friend was going up to the fair on Thursday and she offered to share the room, I figured it would a good way to see if I liked the fair. So I started making plans to attend the conference. One of the first problems that I had to tell my parents and my brother where I was going, so the first little white lie was that I was attending a computer conference outside of Boston. They also wanted to know how to contact me in case of an emergency. For most people that wouldn’t be a problem, but since I was suppose to be going to Boston, I couldn’t give them a Provincetown phone number, becuase P’town has a reputation as being a “Gay Resort” and I was afraid that I would "Out" myself. That problem was over come by a friend offering to let me use her cell phone number, so brought about the second little white lie, the phone charges at the hotel was too expensive so call this number and she will get in touch with me to call them (I bought my cell phone as soon as I got home).

When I got to P’town, the first thing that I needed to do was remove my body hair. This lead to a big, big, BIG mistake! I got the bright idea to use Nair. Well Nair is not made to remove thick male body hair so I left it on an extra long time, my body started to sting and when I went to wash it off some Nair go on my nipple… I think they could hear me whimper through out the whole B&B. For the first couple of days I could not wear any tight fitting clothes over my red body.

Sometimes it was humorous, like the time I was walking down the main street, Commercial Street, and a tour bus went by and I could hear them say over the buses’ loudspeaker… “This week is Fantasia Fair when all the crossdressers and transsexual come up.” I looked up and there staring out the windows were all these gray hair people with their faces pressed up against the windows. Another time I was walking down the street and I overheard a couple say, “There must be a women’s basketball team in town, look at all these tall women!”

Sometimes it can be paranoid, a friend who hang gliders come up to North Truro for a hang glider meet and sometimes it is on the same weekend that I am up there for FF. One time a group of us were eating at a restaurant when I overheard a bit on conversation, “...the winds will be coming out of the north…” I looked around and there was my friend, his wife and two other couples that I knew! In order for us to leave the restaurant, we had to walk right by them, as we passed them my friends looked at us as we walked by and didn’t recognized us (latter when I came out to them they didn’t ever remember the incident, even though it was burned into my memory). That week every time I saw a car with a hang glider in it, I hid.

There were many firsts for me at the fair among them, the first time out in public, the first time I felt rain on my stockings, the first time someone ever called me ma’am and the first time I ever went shopping by myself as Diana. And this will be the first time I didn’t go to the fair since I starting going back in 2000.


I have been busy with homework so my blogging has taken a backseat. I will try to keep up with memes and “My Story” but all other blogging will have to be on an “as time allows” basis.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Friday Fill-ins # 145

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins # 145


1. Sweet dreams _and goodnight_.

2. _Today is a special day,_ especially for me.

3. Silliness __is something we all do_.

4. _I’m not planning anything special_ this Halloween.

5. Outstanding or not __you still put on your pants one leg at a time_.

6. _A good breakfast_ is what I want right now!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _being with my brother’s family at the cottage_, tomorrow my plans include _driving home_ and Sunday, I want have to _write a paper for a class on Tuesday_!

Thursday, October 08, 2009

My Story Part 3

I was just starting to come out of the closet in 1999. In the spring I had a heart problem that sent me to the emergency room. Between the time I called 911 and the ambulance came, I had to change from Diana back into Don. That night laying in the emergency room I realized that life was too short.

In the fall of 1999 for the first time in my life, I went outside of my house as Diana. I had summoned enough courage to go to the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) support group for transgender people. I had contacted COS earlier by email and they told me that the meeting would be next Saturday, so I summoned up all my courage and went to the meeting. However, they told me the wrong weekend! No one else was there! I had to once again gather up my courage to go the following Saturday, however, when I walked in to the meeting hall and looked around, for the first time in my life I realized that I wasn’t alone. The feeling was indescribable, like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders

The group had an “Outing” (pun intended) at a local boutique where they held one of the monthly meeting and the support group had the whole store to ourselves. However, I had to walk across the strip mall’s parking lot to get to the store. Well, I sat in the car crying because I couldn’t summon the courage to get out of the car and walk across the parking lot.

In the spring of 2000, I went to the support groups annual banquet at a hotel in Waterbury for the first time and I stayed overnight. I signed in as Don, but I had to go down to the banquet as Diana. So I listen through the door to hear if I heard anyone in the hallway and when I thought the way was clear I left the room and I hoped that the elevator was empty. They held the next years banquet in the same hotel, but the following year they moved it to a hotel in Windsor Locks. The 2002 banquet was a nightmare for me. my father had fell down a few weeks earlier and was in a nursing home recovering and was to be discharged that morning. Like all medical facilities, it was delayed until the afternoon. Here is what I wrote in my diary the next day after the banquet,

I was thrown off my schedule to go to the banquet. As a result of it I got a headache and rushed off to the hotel. I got there at five thirty instead of four o’clock. While I was changing I found out that one of my contacts had a corner torn off of it, another aggravation to add to my headache. Also, as I was walking across the lobby, there was a guy registering at the desk. He started laughing and made a rude comment about me. That didn’t help either.
The banquet was nice, but I really couldn’t get into it. However, I did stay until one o’clock (Standard time) and help pack up the sound equipment. I didn’t sleep well and I got up at six (Savings time), checked out and went home took two Advil PM and slept till noon.

You can see in the photo that a friend took of me, that I am down in the dumps, that guy’s comments really brought me down. I didn’t go out in public for almost a year afterward, it took a long time to recover my self-esteem. Even to this day, I have a hard time going into some locations, like auto parts stores or other places there is a lot testosterone flowing.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

The U.S. Supreme Court

There were a couple items about the Supreme Court that caught my eye this week. The first is about corporate campaign-finance that came before the court this week and Justice Sonia Sotomayo views. The other case that I was interested in was the refusal of the court to hear any further appeals about the Catholic diocese of Bridgeport, Conn. FOI case.

The Wall Street Journal wrote…
Sotomayor Issues Challenge to a Century of Corporate Law
SEPTEMBER 17, 2009

But Justice Sotomayor suggested the majority might have it all wrong -- and that instead the court should reconsider the 19th century rulings that first afforded corporations the same rights flesh-and-blood people have.

Judges "created corporations as persons, gave birth to corporations as persons," she said. "There could be an argument made that that was the court's error to start with...[imbuing] a creature of state law with human characteristics."

"A corporation is an artificial being, invisible, intangible," Chief Justice John Marshall wrote in an 1819 case. "It possesses only those properties which the charter of its creation confers upon it."

But Justice Sotomayor may have found a like mind in Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. "A corporation, after all, is not endowed by its creator with inalienable rights," Justice Ginsburg said, evoking the Declaration of Independence.
If corporation are given free range on campaign finances, then the elections will be bought and paid for by them. We the people will have little or no access to government; it will be the corporate lobbyists with their pockets bulging with money will be the only ones to get our legislator’s ear.

In another Wall Street Journal article they write about the Supreme Court refusal to hear the Catholic diocese of Bridgeport appeal of the Connecticut Supreme Court order to open up the court records to the public.
Church Loses Fight Over Sealed Papers
October 6, 2009

The U.S. Supreme Court cleared the way for the release of thousands of pages of sealed documents concerning sexual abuse by priests in the Catholic diocese of Bridgeport, Conn.

The court's decision Monday effectively lifts a stay that has delayed the release of the documents since 2006, when four newspapers persuaded a Connecticut court to unseal them.
The Catholic diocese of Bridgeport decision to fight the original 2006 Waterbury Superior Court's ruling that the newspapers must be allowed access to the documents. The Boston Globe reported...
“...flew in the face of a pledge of openness in the Charter for the Protection of Children and Young People released by the nation’s Catholic bishops in 2002 and conflicted with more recent statements by Pope Benedict XVI.”
“This kind of desperate, hardball, self- serving legal maneuver not only contradicts what bishops have promised but what the pope has called for,’’ said David Clohessy, national director of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests, or SNAP. “Frankly, it’s the same old same old.’’

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

National Coming Out Week

Next week is the “National Coming Out Week,” you might expect that I am in favor of it, but I am not. Coming out involves great risks and you should assess the risk before you come out. Know if you have a support network just in case things go bad. Do your parents support LGBT issues or are they opposed to them. Assess the risk if you are coming out in school; know how much support the school administration will give you. These are some of the factors that you should consider before coming out.

In the New York Times article on school bullying entitled, Bullied for Being ‘Gay’ Dr. Jeffrey Fishberger of The Trevor Project writes,
Bullying and being teased for being what others perceive as “different” happens to many children. Lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered young people — or those perceived to be L.G.B.T. — have a much higher incidence of harassment at school. In fact, it’s estimated that more than a quarter of L.G.B.T. young people drop out of school because of this very harassment.
It is important that you have a safe environment before coming out. The article goes on to state…
Fortunately, there are organizations that can work with your son’s school to help all the children understand the impact of their language and behavior.

Glsen (the Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network), for example, works to ensure safe schools for all students through a variety of programs. The Day of Silence, for example, continues to grow each year, and hundreds of thousands of students now come together each year to participate. Another program, the No Name-Calling Week, provides schools with tools and inspiration to foster a dialogue about ways to eliminate bullying and name-calling in their communities.

Another resource that can be of help is The Trevor Project’s workshop program. …to open up discussions with all students about how language and behavior can affect the way an individual feels about him- or herself. A supportive teacher, school counselor or school administrator can assist in implementing these programs in your son’s school.
Here in Connecticut True Colors is a valuable resource for children coming out in school.

Above all, be safe!

Monday, October 05, 2009

Manic Monday #184

Lisa’s Manic Monday #184

Do you read an actual print newspaper? If so, how often?
I read the newspaper every day, I subscribe to the main newspaper in Connecticut.

What is your main source of news?
The internet, mainly Google news, blogs such as, the Huffington Post, Connecticut Local Politics, CT News Junkie, My Left Nutmeg, POLITICO, Pam’s House Blend and the Bilerico Project.

Do you believe that it's possible for the media to be unbiased?
I believe that forty years ago it was, in the era of Walter Cronkite and David Brinkley. However, now it is all about the corporate bottom line, news that sells and talking heads. Fluff news.
With the mainstream media owned by corporate conglomerates, you might not want to say something that would upset some general because you might not get the contract for the next jet fighter.
I think you have read a variety of sources in order to ferret out the news.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Family Wedding

I just got back from the wedding up at Lake George. I had a great time, however, it was hard to say good-bye to the family. Some of them I will not see until the next wedding in the spring. It was very emotional for me; especial hard was the 3 ½ hour drive home by myself. Some of my family came from North Carolina, Colorado and California.

The wedding was held at the Diamond Point Community Church in Diamond Point NY the church was built 1879.
The reception was held at the Inn at Erlowest, an old Queen Anne style Stone Castle that was built for Mr. Edward Morse Shepard in 1898 and it is part of “Millionaires Row” in the Adirondack. It reminded me of the Newport Mansions.
Here are a couple of the tourist boats that cruise Lake George.

This is a the Reception Dinner...

Saturday Six – Episode 286

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 286

1. You are awakened from a deep sleep by a bump in the night. You then hear nothing else at all. Are you more likely to go investigate or just roll over and go back to bed?
I try to go back to sleep, but usually once I wake up, I can’t fall back to sleep.

2. If you had to encounter an alien, would you rather encounter it here, or wake up and realize it has taken you to its home world?
I rather encounter it here, at least I would be able to make money by writing a book about it.

3. Your neighborhood is rocked by something that sounds like a plane crash about a mile away. You have strange things begin happening and people begin to become convinced that an alien has crash-landed: how would you respond: would you be the more reasonable one, the organizing one, or one of the scared ones?
The organizing one, after all I’m going to school to become a community organizer.

4. Have you ever had the exact same recurring nightmare for more than two nights in a row? If so, describe as much as you’re willing to share, and whether any of it “came true.”
Nope, never have.

5. Take the quiz: Which Twilight Zone Episode Do You Belong In?

I'm sorry to say that you belong in a sad episode of the Twilight Zone, called Time Enough At Last. In this one, a man is so obsessed with reading, and no one can understand why he likes it so much. One day, while reading in a bank vault, a bomb hits and destroys the city. He now has all the time in the world he wants to read his books, with no one around to stop him. Until his glasses fall and break...

6. You find yourself trapped in an old Western town and you meet the person who you think could be the love of your life. You then meet someone else who feels the same way about the same person and challenges you to a duel at noon in the town square. Your true love won’t leave the town he or she grew up in until the duel is over. As the time approaches, you meet a strange traveling medicine man who says he’s got three options for you: you can buy a potion to guarantee you’ll be a crack shot in the duel, a potion to make your true love forget about her loyalty to town and family completely, or a potion to make yourself forget about this new-found love: which one would you choose?
Well first of all, if she didn’t want to leave town until the dual is over, I would say she wanted to get to see someone killed. Therefore, I would take the third choice and forget her.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Top Of The World

Yesterday, I went to the “Welcome Dinner” (AKA Rehearsal Dinner) for the wedding guests at the Farmhouse restaurant Top of the World. It was nice to see relatives that I haven’t seen in a number of years.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Friday Fill-ins #144

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins #144


1. I have a history of _volunteering for every project_.

2. _Knitting_ is something I wish I knew.

3. I'm eating (or recently ate) _lasagna_.

4. _Tomorrow I want to stop for lunch_ on the road.

5. So that's it, that's _was so easy once you learned how_.

6. _Having at least tried is_ better than nothing!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _going to the rehearsal dinner (or as they call it now, the Welcome dinner)_, tomorrow my plans include _going to my nephew’s wedding_ and Sunday, I want to _drive back from Lake George NY and take the secondary roads to look at the foliage (if I take any good photos, I’ll post them here)_!