There are two trains of thought about the Transgender Day of Remembrance, some are totally against it while some are in favor of it. The divide boils down to we should celebrate what is good about being trans while others believe that we should remember those who gave their lives for just being themselves.
Second many of these “LGBT” organizations are not trans friendly, they have only gays and lesbians on their staff or have in the past backed lesbian and gay legislation at the determent of the trans community and now they are sponsoring the TDoR.
Third, I worry about the TDoR being used as a political tool of political parties to push their candidate or agenda. It is one thing to rally for legislation and is another thing to push a parties doctrine.
Many organizations are coupling the TDoR with Trans Awareness Week an idea that I like and many are also holding a Trans Pride event in another month other then November.
Last night I went to the MCC Hartford TDoR, which was organized by a trans person.
I have been attending TDoRs since 2001 so I have grown old attending them, at one time I was the organizer for them and then after about five years it was too much so we turned it over to the MCC Church.
Over the years I learned to avoid emotional triggers, but last night everyone was singing “Stand By Me” and standing holding hands, I was planning on sitting it out because I knew it was a trigger. However, a gay man that I knew kept on trying to get me to join them. It was a tossup between taking part or ignoring him, I didn’t want to make a scene so I joined him… it didn’t take but a moment for my emotions to start. I know so many trans people who have been assaulted, or have tried or have taken their own lives.
Why I Don't Believe in Transgender Day of RemembranceFirst I agree with the part about non-profits using it as a fundraiser, I am seeing more and more “LGBT” and also trans organizations with “Donate” buttons. I don’t like that, can’t you for once remove the donate button? It appears as Aaryn Lang says that you are using our deaths for your financial gains.
Them Us
By Aaryn Lang
November 20, 2017
My relationship with Transgender Day of Remembrance has been a rocky one. I haven’t attended a TDOR event in the past few years because I don’t find that they deeply honor trans life. When I think of my ancestors and the struggles they experienced just to get some semblance of basic decency in this world, I know that being able to draw breath and live my life authentically and openly is the true tribute to those who’ve died, more so than any vigil — especially one built on trans death as so little has been done to prevent living trans people from meeting similar, gruesome fates. I might be on board if the people who often hosted these vigils weren’t on payroll, if they actually took action leading up to TDOR and in the months following to interrupt the violence that continues to plague our communities.
Instead, what I often see are predatory nonprofits that capitalize off of the loss of bodies they wouldn’t employ, educate, or support, while reinforcing a narrative that makes “transgender” and “death” almost synonymous. What I often see are cisgender and privileged people, as well as non-melanated transgender people who are all too happy to perform remorse at these events, yet spend the rest of the year arguing against white supremacy’s role in transphobia on social media, and doing next to nothing to address the violence that they’re supposedly torn apart over. This perpetuates a cycle where the lives lost, and others like them who are living, but under precarious conditions, become mythical and secondary to the “concerned community” that feels that the two-hour event constitutes their service to the most vulnerable among us, even though little more has been done than the masturbation of their egos, while the heart and spirit of our community continue to disintegrate.
Second many of these “LGBT” organizations are not trans friendly, they have only gays and lesbians on their staff or have in the past backed lesbian and gay legislation at the determent of the trans community and now they are sponsoring the TDoR.
Third, I worry about the TDoR being used as a political tool of political parties to push their candidate or agenda. It is one thing to rally for legislation and is another thing to push a parties doctrine.
Many organizations are coupling the TDoR with Trans Awareness Week an idea that I like and many are also holding a Trans Pride event in another month other then November.
Last night I went to the MCC Hartford TDoR, which was organized by a trans person.
I have been attending TDoRs since 2001 so I have grown old attending them, at one time I was the organizer for them and then after about five years it was too much so we turned it over to the MCC Church.
Over the years I learned to avoid emotional triggers, but last night everyone was singing “Stand By Me” and standing holding hands, I was planning on sitting it out because I knew it was a trigger. However, a gay man that I knew kept on trying to get me to join them. It was a tossup between taking part or ignoring him, I didn’t want to make a scene so I joined him… it didn’t take but a moment for my emotions to start. I know so many trans people who have been assaulted, or have tried or have taken their own lives.
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