If I find you beenn creepin' 'round my back stairs*

For trans women dating is like getting hit by lighting, it happens but it is very rare. Like any dating situation there can be an element of risk in meeting someone from online and for us the risk is even greater because many men what to keep it a secret that they are dating a trans woman.

The Ridiculous Straight Panic Over Dating a Transgender Person
The right-wing media froth that trans people are demanding straight men date them. No, we just want a nuanced discussion about why so many straight men feel shame about dating us.
The Daily Beast
By Samantha Allen
November 4, 2017

[…]
Orange is the New Black star and transgender advocate Laverne Cox recently opened up to Attitude about the phenomenon of straight men who date transgender women but want to “keep us a secret,” calling those men “insecure as f*ck” for fearing that society will perceive them as gay.

This is a real, urgent problem that many transgender women have to face—and one that our community’s best writers, like author Janet Mock, have eloquently explored. But it doesn’t take long for some readers to react as if transgender women are trying to make it compulsory to date us.

So it was sadly unsurprising when that Laverne Cox interview got quoted on another news site beneath the headline: “Laverne Cox says men who are ashamed of dating trans women are ‘insecure as f*ck.’”

The author goes on to say,

I went to a popular Southern transgender conference to gather information, connect with medical providers, and hopefully make a few friends. What I wasn’t anticipating were the countless men hanging around the hotel lobby, covertly trying to find a bedtime companion.

They wanted us so badly that they found out which weekend the conference was in town and drove here—but they were still ashamed to flirt with us somewhere more public.

There is a name that we call men like that “trannie chasers.” I don’t have any problems with men who are seeking trans women as long as the sex is consensual by adults, but what I do have a problem with is their guilt trip that ends up violently with us either being dead or injured.

Many times when their friends find out that they are dating trans women they take their transphobia out on us. There are currently 25 trans women who were murdered this year, many times it is by a man that they have been dating.

Take care out there.

*Gordon Lightfoot’s Sundown