I Only Wish That They Had Something Like This When I Was A Kid

Times are changing and sometimes for the better, when I was growing up I thought that I was the only one who was trans. Now read about this summer camp…

Disco-Ball Dresses and SpandexA dispatch from transgender camp for kids.
Slate.com
By Bedford Hope
Aug. 2, 2010

[…]
Welcome to the guarded world of families with gender-variant kids, where a word like sparkle can move you to tears. Started by a parent support group out of Children's National Medical Center, this year the camp hosted 25 families and was held in a rural retreat a three-hour drive from Chicago. Most of the "Camp I Am" kids will one day end up somewhere in the GLBTQ spectrum—maybe cross-dressers, gender queer, or another term yet to be invented. But if past experience is any indication, the majority of our girly-boys will one day consider themselves straightforwardly gay. For the kids who turn out to be truly born in the wrong body, their parents will continue to wrestle with pronouns, possible hormonal intervention, and possible surgery down the road. In the meantime, many of us have learned to accept ambiguity, "holding all options open," as some supportive therapists say. Many of us attempt to avoid labels for something that may or may not fade away in a year—or 10.
[…]
The camp experience is surreal, a trip to a planet where we're normal. The kids run wild, doing kid stuff, including improvisational theatre and dance, lip-syncing to Lady Gaga. They prepare for (and fret over) the weekend's climax―a fashion show in which each child, in turn, will march down a runway in a get-up of their own devising. Until they run themselves ragged and then sit in circles in our rooms painting their nails and telling poop jokes. For once, we don't hover over them. It's safe here.

Our kids are from Boston and San Francisco, the Great Salt Lake, New Jersey, Kansas City, and Mississippi. Other than the usual suspects (liberals, therapists, yoga instructors), the parents here are Republican, Catholic, Mormon, or otherwise conservative. Some tried to "fix" their kids as the best psychiatrists of the '70s used to advise (and as some still do). But when the fix didn't take, the parents at the camp decided they preferred a happy kid to a normal one, and they ended up here, watching the annual fashion show.
[…]
My kid once screamed at a classmate, who wondered out loud why he was wearing the pink skirt, "It's a free country!" We who have allowed our kids to be themselves, if sometimes only behind closed doors, know it's not completely free yet. But we're working on it.

It is so important to allow children to find their own way, by forcing them into a role that is not true to themselves will create a life time of problems. There are two types of treatments for gender variant children (I say gender variant and not transgender because the kids are exploring their gender and my not truly be transgender. Many are gay or lesbian, while others maybe straight, but they all need time to firure it out for themselves.). One course of treatment is force the child into the gender role that they were assigned at birth, while course is to allow children to explore their gender and you know what? Both treatments have the same outcome; about 25% of the children are transgender. However, those children who are transgender and are forced in to the gender assigned at birth have higher anxiety levels, are under more stress than the children who are allowed to explore their own gender.

In another article on gender variant children, a father speaks out…

Father of a transgender tween speaks out
Thrive: Children's Hospital Boston’s Pediatric Health Blog
By Melissa Jeltsen
August 2, 2010

My 12 year old transgender daughter is my mentor. It’s tough to put into words what a profound impact this small person has had in changing my core values, but since the young age of five, she has unknowingly encouraged me to open my eyes and heart to new ideas. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve watched her experience severe emotional pain and physical frustration, but thanks to support and guidance, I’ve watched as she’s become a confident, happy and healthy child. And as she changed, I changed too.
[…]
During the next few years I lived in an unaware bliss, an American dream I hoped would continue until retirement and old age. But my wife lived in the real world, a world that recognized one of our children was different. At first she could not put her finger on it, but she knew in her heart and soul that one of our children was special.

As time went on, others recognized the differences too. I saw signs as well, but pretended they were phases; anything more than that was too challenging to my moderate conservatism and pursuit of the American dream. I was convinced we could develop a strategy to love, support and raise our children and by staying “neutral” everything would be okay.

What happen next would rock my world, test my marriage, and challenge who I thought I was as a person. My baby, my beautiful son would begin to teach me that he was really my daughter. She, my son, their friends and my wife would show me that this was no big deal and change does not have to be hard if you love who you are changing for.
[…]
I used to believe there was only one way to create the foundation for a “normal” life. I now know a family working together, exploring new ideas and being open to change builds a much stronger foundation that will stand the test of time. The shelter that you build on this foundation will help fend off most of the damaging opinions and fears of others and protect you from the rules that society considers “normal.”

I wish that I could add something to the father’s story, but I can’t. He said it so beautifully, we have to be open and loving to our children, and be ready to learn from them.

Manic Monday #216

Lisa’s Manic Monday #216



What are your 10 greatest joys in life?
Waking up in the morning – I made it to another day
Being with family
Being with friends
Eating good food
The cottage
Photography
Reading a good book
Watching a good movie with friends
Surfing the internet
Going to bed at night – I made it through another day

I'll never do _______ again and here's why:
Counting my chickens before they hatch because it got me into trouble when what I expected to happen did not happen.

What's the coolest piece of technology you work or play with?
OK, I used to be an electrical engineer and when I first started in business a type of test equipment (a datalogger) was 7 feet tall and 18” wide and when I retired it was the size of a one pound box of sugar. You can also connect it up to the internet and use it anywhere in the world.

What Do I Have In Common With The Tea Party?

Not much, but there is on thing that we do have in common and that is we read the same book.

As many of you know, I am in UConn School of Social Work for my Master’s in social work and I’m specializing Community Organizing. One of the people that we study is Saul Alinsky and so has the Tea Party, there is an article in Politico about them taking up the methods of Alinsky, Kenneth Vogel writes in the article “The new tea party bible” that “Rules for Radicals,” the iconic liberal organizing manifesto by Saul Alinsky, was an unlikely bible for tea party activists as they tried to mobilize their movement last year.” Well Alinsky was more than an “iconic liberal organizing”, he worked to form the Industrial Areas Foundation (IAF) and the Congress of Industrial Organizations (CIO). In another article in Politico, “The Right loves to hate - and imitate - Saul Alinsky”, Vogel writes that,

Often described as the father of modern community organizing, Alinsky helped poor and working class urban communities around the country push for improved living and working conditions by confronting, satirizing or negotiating with the establishment, as well as by building diverse coalitions including small businesses, labor unions and religious groups, such as the Roman Catholic Church.

He’s long been a hero on the left, but the right’s fascination with him dates to the 2008 presidential campaign, when lots of attention was paid to Alinsky’s impact on leading Democratic contenders Hillary Clinton, who wrote her college thesis about him, and Barack Obama, who trained in — and utilized — his community organizing techniques.

And now the ultra right wing Tea Party has embraced his methods, the article began by saying…

Conservatives just can’t seem to make up their mind about Saul Alinsky.

Was he a tactical genius to be imitated, an agitator whose teachings will undercut the right’s goals, a devil-worshiper leading young conservatives down the path to damnation, or some combination of all three?

The modern right harbors an “almost schizophrenic view of what they can use and learn from Alinsky, and yet he is this totally evil guy,” said Sanford D. Horwitt, author of “Let Them Call Me Rebel,” a biography of Alinsky.

For school, I have read many articles by and about Alinsky’s work, he helped the oppressed gain a voice in society and showed them how join together to fight for a common cause. Using Alinsky’s tactics brought about change in the ways government protects its citizens, the tactics were instrumental creating the SSA, the SEC, the EPA and OSHA. The tactics also helped pass child labor laws and the 40-hour workweek. Now those very same tactics are being used by the Tea Party to tear down all the protections that we have. They want to return us to the era of the Robber Barons. Am I the only one who finds this ironic?

Saturday Six – Episode 329

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 329

1. How many different spices are there in your kitchen?
Oh, I have no idea. I have a whole self fill of spices.

2. Of the spices you have on hand, which one is your favorite one to use?
Basil this time of the year, I use it when I make Insalata Caprese (mozzarella, tomatoes and basil, with balsamic vinegar and olive oil.)

3. What liquid flavoring did you use most recently?
Vanilla in the fresh Peach Cobbler that I made yesterday.

4. You decide to marinade a steak or chicken: do you use a powdered or liquid spice mix?
It depends in the cut of meat, for a London Broil I used a marinade but a Rib Eye steak I might use a rub. For chicken, anything goes, I like to use a marinade, a rub or BBQ sauce.

5. Take the quiz: What Spice Are You?

You Are Garlic

Of all the spice types, you are the most universally loved. You get long with pretty much everyone, and you leave a lasting impression. You adapt yourself well to situations. You can fit in or stand out, depending on what you're called on to do.

I like this question, “Hot... not exactly. But you definitely leave an impression.” Yup, I definitely leave an impression.

6. Which spice — whether you have it in your home or not — do you consider the most “exotic”?
I bought some Vanilla beans and the price was out of sight!

Saturday 9: Bad Day

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: Bad Day



1. Is there anything that you tend to do to cheer up when you are having a bad day?
A lobster dinner

2.What’s the last card game you played, and with whom did you play?
Uno and I played it with my sister-in-law and my grand-niece up at the cottage.

3.What’s the last board game you played, and with whom did you play?
Yikes, that was a long ting ago and it was backgammon, and I don’t remember who I played.

4.What’s the last computer game you played, and with whom did you play?
Solitaire and the computer won.

5.Is there somewhere you’d like to visit but have not, and where is it?
The Grand Canyon and it is in Arizona.

6.Think of your favorite movie (or a movie you really like, if you can’t think of a favorite). Some people say that the reasons you love your favorite movie are related to what you value in romantic relationships. How is this true or untrue in your case?
Well the movie is Harry Potter and I really don’t think I want a romantic relationship with Harry

7.What physical attributes do you find the most attractive?
Their heart and brain.

8.How many people live in your house? Tell us about them.
Not much to tell since I live alone.

9. Ever punch someone in the face?
All the time. Seriously, I don’t think I have ever been in a fight. Not counting ones with my brother, that just was sibling rivalry.

Friday Fill-ins #187

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins #187



1. I'm going _shopping for back to school clothes_.

2. _Base jumping in wingsuit are for those who are looking for_ adventure and daring.


3. Perhaps today you can make it a point _of treating people with respectfully _.

4. _When you are reading a book it sometimes takes a_ true adventurer’s spirit.

5. Compassion is _key to understanding_

6. _Do the right thing_ no matter how difficult.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _going to the coffee shop_, tomorrow my plans include _reading and a little bit of cleaning_ and Sunday, I want to _visit some friends_!

My Story Part 38 – Close Calls

There were so many close calls of being found crossdressed when I was growing up and I don’t know if I was lucky or not. I often wonder how my life would have changed if I had been caught.

My first narrow escape was way back in the early sixties (I was about thirteen) when my brother came home from a summer job for lunch. My mother went to Hartford for her monthly allergy shots and that meant that I was home alone…yeah!!! So I was crossdressed when my brother unexpectedly came home for lunch, I heard a car pull into the driveway and when I looked out the window, I saw it was my brother. I didn’t have time to change back into my male clothes so I jumped into bed and pulled the sheets up to my neck. When he saw me in bed he chided me for still being in bed, I was so scared that he was going to pull the sheets off, but he didn’t. When he went into the kitchen to make lunch, I managed to wiggle out of my clothes and join him in the kitchen. Whew!

My next brush with a close call was when I was in my late teens or early twenties and my parents went to the wedding of a neighbor’s son, so I had the whole afternoon to crossdress. About an hour after they left, I heard a car door slam and I looked out and saw my parents. I couldn’t run back to my room because I would have had to run by the front door, so I ran into the garage. I hid in the foot well of my car and later when they came home after the reception (they came home earlier because they had forgotten the wedding present), they asked me what I did that day. I lied and said that I went out with some friends.

One winter when my parent’s were down in Florida for the winter, I took a few days off from work to spend the long weekend crossdressed. Instead of going to the front door, for some reason, he went to the back door. I was trapped with no place to run! So I opened the door slightly and told him to come back a little latter. I thought that I was safe and that he didn’t see me, but years latter when I came out to my friends, he said that he saw me crossdressed then but never said anything…thank you.

When I moved into my new home, I was standing outside the basement door smoking some pot (Oh no, tell me it not true! Yes, in my younger days I use to smoke pot.). I thought that I was safe because no one could see me because there are all woods behind me. Well it turned out that a contractor friend was back there looking at job that he was bidding on to fill in some wetlands (that is another story) and he saw me. A few hours latter he stopped by and asked me if I was satisfied with the landscaping work that he did for me a month earlier; I think he just wanted to see if it was I standing there.

The last incident wasn’t a close call, but an actual outing. I was touching up my testimony for the anti-discrimination bill at work, when I accidentally printed it out on the department printer. One of my technicians found it and came to me and said, “Is this your crap!” Since it had my female name and my address on it, all I could do was deflect it slightly by saying that I was reviewing it for my cousin. In three months I was laid-off (not because of the incident, but because they were closing the shop and moving the work out of state.) and I then never had to worry ever again about being found out because I transitioned.

Transitioning removed a lot of stress from my life; I didn’t have to worry about leading a double life and living a lie. I don’t have to worry any more about close calls or accidentally outing myself.

Health Care Or The Lack Of

Many of us have gone to emergency rooms take for granted that we are going to be treated and be treated equally, but for many people that is not true. We are mocked and scorned and sometimes ignored. That happened at a hospital in Indiana to a trans-person, she and her family were mistreated and harassed when she had to go to an emergency room because she was coughing up blood.

Austen Crowder at Bilerico writes that,

[…] On Sunday I coughed almost a cup of blood and decided to go to the E.R. The doc told me if I had to go to the E.R. to go to Muncie rather than New Castle, as they would be more tolerant being a bigger city and a university hospital.

[…]So I go to the desk, my partner and son with me and start giving them my info. There were two people at the desk doing my intake; I think one was training. When they got to the surgery question, I told them all my surgeries, and she kept pressing, "Are you sure you haven't had any other surgeries?" I said that I didn't.

They completed my registration and I saw that had put "M" as my gender. I pointed out that my ID says female. She looked annoyed and the lady next to her snickered. She told this jock type triage person to take my vitals; he glared at me for a second and turned his head and said, "Remember payback sucks." I looked at him with a slightly angry look; he said, "Not about you, something from earlier."

We were sitting in the room with the door shut, and a nurse came in and told us they will probably want a urine test and she took me to the bathroom. While I was in there, I heard suppressed laughing and someone muttered something about "good thing it's a unisex bathroom." This was through the door - not to my face.

I was still trying to tell myself that it wasn't how I saw it until I got back to the room, and my partner was looking like she wanted to cry and fight someone at the same time. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me that people kept laughing while I was in there, and poking their heads in the room and asking about me. One nurse finally asked, "So is it a he or a she? Or a he-she?"

[…]o she came back in not long after bringing the coloring book and asked a series of bizarre questions. "Do you ever feel so angry you might lose control?" "Are you able to buy groceries every week?" "Do you ever feel overwhelmed?" "Have you ever thought about suicide?" We were confused and still are.

I was quite mad, but I kept it in check and said, "When are we going to see a doctor?" She told me that I could not be seen until I had my doc write orders. (For tests, I think she meant.) I said "Why do I need to do that? This is an emergency room."

She said, "Well, we don't know how to go about treating someone with your condition."

I responded, "I don't even know my condition. That's why I'm here!"

She replied, "No. Your other condition. The transvestite thing." I felt angry, and I was fighting my hardest to keep from crying, I was embarrassed and I grabbed my son and we left quickly so they wouldn't see me cry.

No one should have to go through this degrading and inhumane ordeal at the hands of medical personnel that are sworn to help people.

If you think that this could not happen here or that this is an isolated incident, you are wrong. In 2009, I wrote about a friend who slipped and fell at work and was taken to an emergency room here in Connecticut…

At the hospital, she was attended to by three medical staff people. They began treating her by cutting off her clothes. "S" was frightened, cold, alone, and in desperate pain. Then….they stopped. And walked away.

Having learned she was a transgender person, they left her lying alone on a table for two long hours without any medication or care. At one point one of the doctors said to the other, "you deal with `it;' I'm not dealing with `it.'

The "it" was a human being: "S". Both doctors left the room, and the nurses told "S" to "start walking." They threw off her bed covers, then left the room for 45 minutes.

X-rays ultimately revealed a fractured vertebrae, but the hospital still released "S". She was told to have her primary doctor evaluate her further with a CT scan, MRI, and more x-rays. She was told to find a ride home.

Finally, "S" was fully evaluated at another local hospital. Her diagnosis: three fractured vertebrae, two crushed vertebrae, and one fractured rib.

Since then, "S" has had severe chest and back pain and months of physical therapy, while missing over six weeks of work.

These unfortunately are not isolated incidents, according the Human Rights Campaign in the Healthcare Equality Index 2010 report said that…

83.7 percent of HEI-rated [Healthcare Equality Index] facilities (149 of 178) include sexual orientation in their Patients’ Bill of Rights and/or non-discrimination policy, while less than 30 percent (52 of 178 facilities) of those policies include “gender identity or expression” or “gender identity.”

Similar to the 2009 report, these survey results show a large disparity between the number of policies inclusive of sexual orientation and those inclusive of gender identity.

I worry that if I ever had to go to an emergency room or even just for routine tests about the way I would be treated.

In 2008, I wrote about a survey by the Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA) on how transgender vet were treated and they found,

In addition, there were many reports of interpersonal discrimination, via lack of respect from VA doctors (22%), non-medical staff (21%), and nurses (13%). These cases of interpersonal discrimination ranged from what many veterans describe as “typical” – refusing to change to gender-appropriate pronouns, failure to use a new name consistently – to the extreme – refusing to look at transgender patients, referring to them in dismissive ways, refusing to treat them for general medical care.

Lets work together to stop this bigotry and hatered and work for a health care system that treats everyone equally no matter if they are rich or poor or what race they are or their sexual orientation or their gender identity or expression. Lets make this our goal.

(This is cross posted in Facebook and blogger)

Saturday Six – Episode 328

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 328 (A couple of days late)

1. When you visit a supermarket, do you usually buy all of the things you need to hold yourself over for a week or so, or do you make multiple short stops during the week?
I visit the supermarket several times a week. Mainly because if forget to buy something and I have to go back to the store on another day.

2. When you’re able to enjoy a night with the home to yourself, what are you most likely to do?
Since I am single and retired, that is just about every night. I usually attend a meeting of organizations where I do volunteer work, that is usually one or two nights a week and Fridays I usually go to a coffee shop with some friends.

3. Consider the last time you ate a well-grilled steak: who did the grilling: you or someone else? Was it to your satisfaction?
Again, since I am single, I do all the cooking. No cooking = no eating. A couple of weekends ago, I had company up at the lake house and I cooked a Pork Loin rubbed with McCormick’s Garlic and Herb seasoning. I cooked it on a charcoal grill with hickory chips using indirect heat. I also made rice pilaf and a salad.

4. What was the last meatless meal you ate? Did you enjoy it, or did you find yourself missing the meat?
Yesterday’s lunch. I made a tomato salad with tomatoes out of my garden and I added red onion, olives, mozzarella cheese, parsley and basil, balsamic vinegar.

5. Take the quiz: What Toe Are You?

You Are the Fourth Toe

You tend to be a cooperative and social person. You like being around others. You are pretty attached to your friends and family... but only in a healthy way. Love and relationships are the cornerstone of your life. People come first for you. You are independent when you need to be, but you prefer not to travel solo. You like having your support system.

6. What part of your body would you say is the most ticklish?
Just under the rib cage.

Manic Monday #215

Lisa’s Manic Monday #215



What's your secret recipe?
You know how the saying goes if I tell you.
But you do not have to worry, I have all my recipes here.

Imagine you want to write a book. What's going to be in it and what is it going to be about?
It would be a science fiction book about time travel and sailboats with an interesting twist.

Name 5 things in your freezer.
Loafs of bread (rye and cinnamon raisin)
Blueberries
Popsicles
Homemade chili
Homemade lasagna

Transforming New Hampshire Conference

I have been away to a three-day conference in Concord NH at the Franklin Pierce College of Law and they were a long three days. I went up to the cottage with a friend and we arrived at my cottage around 2:00pm on Friday and left to go the conference at 4:00pm because it started at 5:00pm and end at a little after 8:00pm. So we didn’t get back to the cottage until 9:00pm. The next day the conference started at 8:00am and we didn’t get back to the cottage until 9:00pm, thirteen hours of workshops. In addition, we didn’t stay for Peterson’s play Transfigurations because I have seen it three times already and that would also have meant that we would not have gotten back at the cottage until after ten. On Sunday, the conference did not start until 9:00am and we left around 2:00pm, we then had to clean up the cottage and pack, so we left for home around five. I took the back way home, down Rt. 10 to avoid the rat race on I-91 and to have a more relaxing drive home.

The reason that I attended the conference was to network and to see how I could help with passing a gender inclusive anti-discrimination law in NH. I met my goal and met many people from the state, some I had met before and reconnected with, others I met for the first time, including a long time reader of my blog, a Facebook friend. I also met a mother and child from a town near by where we have the cottage, her child is in the process of transitioning. So it was a very productive weekend.

Friday night was mostly a meet and greet, there was a welcoming and then Peterson did a couple of short vignettes from his various plays, including scenes from “Doin' Time in The Homo No Mo Halfway House”. There was also the Keynote speaker, Tony Barreto-Neto who talked about his activism in helping to pass the gender inclusive Anti-discrimination law in Vermont. One of the comments that he made resonated with me, he said that ever morning he would wake up thinking, am I going to be treated as an equal today. At times I think the same way, especial if I am going somewhere that I worry about, such as to see an auto mechanic. I wonder how they are going to treat me; I have had both good experiences and bad at garages.

On Saturday all the workshops were held, they had twenty workshops to choose from. I chose four workshops to attend, the first session that I attended was about media and how the trans-community of portrayed in movies. I attended the workshop because for my independent studies course which was the creation of a curriculum to teach a class on “Working with Gender Variant Clients” and one of the class lectures was about the media. I think that I will re-organize the presentation for that class based on what I learned in the workshop. Right now, it is organized chronologically and instead I will organize it by, victim such as “Boys Don’t Cry”, perpetrator as in the Alfred Hitchcock’s “Psycho” and by comic relief, where the trans-person is the butt of the jokes, such as in “Some Like It Hot”.

I had wanted to go a workshop also on the media, but that one was cancelled when the speaker didn’t show up. The next workshop that I went to was a panel discussion about the state of transgender politics in New Hampshire and I got a lot out of the discussion, it got a little heated at times over the fact that the marriage organization is closing now that they have marriage equality in New Hampshire. Gee what a surprise! Now where have I heard that before? Oh yeah… Love Makes a Family. They closed their doors once Connecticut had marriage equality.

The last workshop that I wanted to attend was “The Legal Challenges of Being Transgender”; however, they added a new workshop on activism and organizing which I attended. I thought the workshop would be a “How To” workshop, but it was a person talking about what she did, it was a lot of “I did this” and I was disappointed. I wished that I went to my first choice.

They also had a number of keynote speakers and in the evening, Allyson Robinson from the HRC talked about privilege and how we don’t even know when we have it until we lose it. She gave several examples of some of the privilege that we lose when we transition. One example was walking in a parking lot a night, a man doesn’t give it a second thought, but a woman is wonders, who is that man behind me or why is that guy hanging out in the parking lot. She said that privilege is invisible to those that have it and they have a vested interest in not recognizing it because then you would have to act on it. Allyson went on to say that, privilege comes in many forms, race, class, and gender and for us, passing privilege (able to be not be identified as a trans-person). She said that once you aware of your privilege then you are in an ethical dilemma, what to do about it. Then she said the only way to deal with it is to give your privilege away and she listed three ways to do that. “Come Out” of the closet as trans or become an ally of trans-people. Help out, help out in support groups, in elections to help elect trans-friendly legislators, or to become an activist. Lastly, she said that you can “Pay Out” help by donating time or money.

I enjoyed the conference and I think that they did a very good job of organizing it. My only comment is that in the closing panel discussion the group that helped sponsor the conference, Trans Mentors, mentioned at have conferences in other New England states and I have a slight problem with that. I can see having conference where there is not a strong trans presence, but not where there is already a local presence. Connecticut has four active trans-support groups, one advocacy organization, two trans-conferences and one annual banquet. I know that Connecticut Trans Advocacy Coalition’s Transgender Lives conference doesn’t make money on the conference. The Connecticut Outreach Society’s annual banquet usually just about breaks even and that is only because of the people who wait to the last minute to make reservation. If a national organization comes here with a conference it could spell disaster for the survival of the local groups. I hope when they consider where they are going to have their conferences that they consider how many existing trans-organizations are in the area and try to build support where there is none now.

Lastly, the conference was covered by a local newspaper, the Concord Monitor and you can read it here.
Saturday morning when I woke up, it had rained over night and there was fog up on the mountain on the other side of the lake.

Friday Fill-ins #186

Janet’s Friday Fill-ins #186



1. I feel _tired all the time because I wake-up so early each morning_.

2. _When you get back from a vacation you have a lot_ to catch up.

3. Do _drive safely_.

4. _Each day is_ completely unique.

5. It's hard to know how much _how much food to buy when I have guest up at the cottage_

6. _In Hearts you have to_ follow suit.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _driving up to the cottage again_, tomorrow my plans include _going to the conference in Concord_ and Sunday, I want have to _come home_!

My Story Part 37 – The Cottage

Since this is summer and I have been going up to the cottage a lot lately, I thought that I would write about it this week. My parents first bought it shortly after my father retired, they had been traveling around the world on tours and decided that they wanted a place where they could spend the summers. Therefore, in 1981, they went looking for a cottage in southern New Hampshire to buy. When I was little we use to spend a week on Lake Winnisquam in New Hampshire and before that at a cottage that my mother’s Aunt Mabel owned (I was too young to remember it now), so New Hampshire and lakes are in our blood.

They settled on a cottage about three hours from home in southern NH and they spent most of their summers there. Then they would rent a condo down in Florida for the winter months. I was living at their house at the time and I was able to be Diana most of the year, except for November and December, and April and May. When my brother and his family or I went up to the cottage, they came home. Most of the time I invited friends up to the cottage, but some times I went up by myself. It was during those times alone, that I crossdressed, and on one of the occasions I heard noise outside the dinning room window (Even though the dinner room window had curtains, they were kind of like crochet drapes and you could see through them.). I was laying on the couch reading dressed as Diana when I heard a noise. I went to one of the bedroom windows, and with the lights off, I looked out. I saw three kids running away from the window. One of them I recognized, he was the kid from across the street. I ran to my bedroom and changed back to my male clothes and I cried. The next day, I went home early and I cried all the way back home. The guilty that I carried with crossdressing brought me into a depression for a long time after that incident.

A year or two latter at a holiday family gathering, my cousin, who knew someone whose family had a cottage on the lake, mentioned that there was a crossdresser at one of the cottages on the lake… my depression came back. I did know if her comment was just a general comment or the comment was aimed at me. (Now, I know it was just a general comment and she didn’t know that it was me.)

After incident with the kids, I tried to talk my mother into getting new drapes from the window, but I could never tell her my real reason for my concern and to this day, the drapes are still there. The window is now on the second floor because we raised the cottage up to add a walk in basement.

I have not let that incident spoil my enjoyment of the cottage. I have had many good times that far out weigh that one incident. However, that trauma of that night lives on, the feeling of being violated is still very strong. My brother just recently had the kid (now a man) do some work around the cottage (I have never really explained to my brother my feeling about the kid, so he didn’t know how I felt when he asked the kid to do the work). I left before the kid came over with his backhoe because I couldn’t stand to be around when he was there

Candidates From Around The Country

There are a number of elections from around the nation that have attracted my interest, they are in Maryland, Florida and Oklahoma this year.

In Maryland, Dana Beyer is running for a seat in the Maryland House…

Dana Beyer to launch Maryland delegate bid
MetroBlade
Lou Chibbaro Jr.
Jun 24, 2010

Eye-surgeon-turned-political activist Dana Beyer will officially launch her campaign Saturday to become the first transgender person elected to the Maryland Legislature.

Beyer, a Democrat, is challenging Democratic incumbent Alfred Carr for the District 18 seat in the Maryland House of Delegates in Maryland’s Sept. 14 Democratic primary. The district is located in Montgomery County and includes Silver Spring, Wheaton, Kensington and Chevy Chase, among other jurisdictions.

You might remember Ms. Beyer from the fight to pass a gender inclusive anti-discrimination law back in 2008. There was strong opposition to the bill by the Maryland Citizens for Responsible Government, a conservative religious group who organized a petition drive to repeal the law. The petition drive effort ending up in court when they failed to gather the required signatures to get the question on the ballot.

Anti-Bias Law Wins In Md.'s High Court
Transgender People Protected In Montgomery
By Henri E. Cauvin and Ann E. Marimow
Washington Post
September 10, 2008

A Montgomery County law banning discrimination against transgender people took effect yesterday, county attorneys said, after the state's highest court rejected a petition effort that would have forced the issue to a referendum.

The measure, passed by the County Council in November, had been set to take effect in February, but it was blocked when some religious and conservative groups launched the petition effort.

The dispute soon moved to court, where the two sides argued procedural points, disagreeing on such issues as the number of signatures necessary to place the matter on the November ballot.

Looking further south in Florida, there is a Republican candidate running for office…

Three-Way GOP Battle to Take On Debbie Wasserman Schultz
The Sunshine News
By: Kevin Derby
Posted: July 1, 2010

While U.S. Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz represents what appears to be a safe Democratic district, three Republican candidates have emerged to take on the incumbent.
[…]
Born in Cuba, Donna Milo, who works in the construction industry, said she saw similarities between the communist nation her family fled and the policies of the Obama administration.

While Milo has been getting attention for being transgendered, she stresses that she is a conservative. “I am a lifelong conservative Republican,” said Milo. “I am proud to say that I voted for Ronald Reagan.”

Milo blasted Wasserman Schultz for supporting the Obama administration on economic and international issues, noting that Jewish voters in the district are not happy with the congresswoman for backing the president’s policy on Israel. She said that voters were increasingly unhappy with Washington -- and Wasserman Schultz.

“The voters are not being heard,” said Milo on Wednesday. “The government is serving itself. People are concerned about spending.”

In an article in the Bay Area Reporter by Matthew S. Bajko, said that,

On the Republican side, in South Florida Donna Milo, a Cuban American transgender woman, is running in the Republican primary for the state's 20th Congressional District.

Milo, who opposes same-sex marriage and is a Tea Party member, is running against two other GOPers to take on incumbent Congresswoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz in the fall.

I am surprised that the Tea Party would back Milo in the primaries.

Lastly, in Oklahoma, there is another transgender candidate running for office…

Oklahoma's first openly transgender candidate will face Kern in fall election
Tulsa World
By RICKY MARANON
Published: 6/8/2010

OKLAHOMA CITY — A controversial lawmaker known for her comments against homosexuality likely will face the state’s first-known transgender candidate in this fall’s elections.

Oklahoma City attorney Brittany Novotny, a Democrat, filed Tuesday to run for the seat held by Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City.

Novotny, 30, said the campaign is not about her gender identity.

“For six years, we’ve had someone who has not represented her district, has been ineffective on problems and is bad for business,” she said.

Novotny said Kern is pushing her personal agenda instead of focusing on issues that are important to House District 84, and because of that, the state and Kern’s Oklahoma City district have suffered.

Just because a candidate is transgender, does not mean that I support them, I would never support Milo because she is against marriage equality and is a Tea Party member. However, I would support the other candidates.

These candidates are not the first transgender candidates to run for office and they will not be the last candidates to run for office. However, they are part of a growing list of trans-people who are running for public office. There was a time when trans-people would never dream of being out in public, let alone run for office. At one time, when you transitioned the medical profession forced you to start your life over again in another location from where you lived. Now, we are becoming roll models for other trans-persons.

Top Ten Songs On My MP3 Player

INSTRUCTIONS
(1) Turn on your MP3 player/iPod.
(2) Go to SHUFFLE songs mode.
(3) Write down the first TEN songs that come up--song title and artist--NO editing/cheating, please (even if letting the world know you listen to crap "Weekend in New England" will humiliate you).
(4) Choose FIVE people to be tagged. It is generally considered to be in good taste to tag the person who tagged you, since there should be new songs appearing with Shuffle every time.

Take a Chance on Me - ABBA
Monday, Monday - The Mamas and the Papas
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Legend in Your Own Time - Carly Simon
Hard Rock Cafe - Carole King
Wheel in the Sky - Journey
Lady - Kenny Rogers
Where Have All the Flowers Gone? - The Kingston Trio
When You Go - Namoli Brennet
Ashes Are Burning - Renaissance

My Next Couple Of Days

Over the weekend I was up at the cottage with a couple that I have know for several years, that I first met up at Fantasia Fair in Provincetown. I had hoped to get some homework done while I was there, but we were having too much fun. I volunteer for many projects and organizations, and one project that I volunteered to write a procedure for the HIV/AIDS survey that we are doing. I wanted to formalize the process so that when I go back to classes we can train someone to take my place. With the survey going live, I will be interviewing respondents who said they would take the survey and I will be working with a woman from the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Health Collective at their office to give the surveys.
Besides the survey, I also have to write up the minutes to the last Connecticut Trans Advocacy Coalition Board meeting that I have been putting off.

As if that wasn’t enough, I am going back up to New Hampshire this weekend to go to the TransForm New Hampshire 2010 conference in Concord at the Franklin Pierce Law Center (I hope that it is air-conditioned) and while I’m up there, there is some work on the cottage that I want to do. I want to attend the conference because I’m a property owner in New Hampshire and I want to get involved in helping pass a gender inclusive anti-discrimination bill in NH.

The covered bridge is in Henniker over the Contoocook River. Where we had dinner Sunday night.

Manic Monday #214

Lisa’s Manic Monday #214



Imagine you have a hundred dollars, but you couldn't keep it. You have to give it away to a person or charity. Who would you give it to? What would you want them to do with it?
I would give it to the Connecticut Trans Advocacy Coalition to help the trans community find housing, therapist, etc.

If you could cook any meal for your friends or family, what would you cook?
Funny you should ask this question because I just cooked a dinner for some friends up at the cottage. I cooked Pork Loin rubbed with McCormick’s Garlic and Herb seasoning. I cooked it on a charcoal grill with hickory chips and used indirect heat. I made rice pilaf and a salad. The salad was iceberg lettuce (I normally use spinach but I didn’t like the looks of it at the store, it looked wilted.), walnuts, dried cranberry, goat cheese and a raspberry vinaigrette.


List 5 things you want to do in your life.
Travel to see all the national parks.
Take a train ride through the Canadian Rockies, from what I understand; Lake Louise in Banff National Park is beautiful.
Take a windjammer cruise up the Maine coast
Take a balloon ride
Take a barrage ride along the Mohawk canal

Edited: to add link for rice pilaf and change "I looked wilted" to "it looked wilted"

Saturday Six – Episode 327

Patrick’s Place Saturday Six – Episode 327


1. What local non-chain restaurant serves the best pizza you’ve ever had?
Well when you ask someone who is in their sixties that question, it covers a lot of ground. Recently, it was the place that we had pizza down in Asheville called the Mellow Mushroom.

2. You decide to order pizza from a chain: which pizza chain are you most likely to order from?
I don’t know, I usually order pizza from a local pizzeria. I don’t think I have ever ordered a chain store pizza, but if I had to I’ll chose Pizza Hut.

3. What’s your favorite style pizza on the menu of the restaurant from Answer #2?
Ugh… I don’t know. If they have a sausage, pepper and onion pizza, I’ll have that.

4. Which toppings do you absolutely not want on a pizza?
Mushrooms… they’re fungus!

5. Take the quiz: The Coffee Shop Test

You Are Mushrooms

You are down to earth and practical. You appreciate hearty foods and people. You are very grounded. You aren't unnecessarily fanciful, and you appreciate the little things in life. You are in tune with nature and the world around you. You appreciate the outdoors and animals. You are likely very handy and good at doing things yourself. You're the type most likely to make your own pizza.

Yuck… I hate mushrooms.

6. What’s your favorite kind of pizza crust: thin, pan or cheese-stuffed?
Thin, followed up by pan

Saturday 9: Love Hurts

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: Love Hurts

1. Tell us about the last time that you got hurt in the arena of love.
Well it was way back in high school, I had a date with a girl and at the last minute she cancelled out, saying she had to baby sit her sister. Later that night, I saw her at McDonald’s with a football player from school.

2. Have you ever been part of the wedding party, other than your own?
Yes, many times.

3. Let's say you find yourself in Hell after you die. Think about everyone you've known in your life. Who would be the one person that would least likely to surprise you by being in Hell with you?
I have no idea. I don’t think that I know one particle person I would be surprise to see there, I think I would be surprised to see anyone that I know there.

4. What brings you good luck?
I don’t believe in luck.

5. Do you have a photo blog? If so, feel free to share the link with us!
It is over on the right side of my blog, labeled “My Photos”

6. What is your biggest source of news? (Internet? Newspaper? Television? Radio? The Daily Show? Other?)
Yes, to all of the above.

7. What's the hottest you've ever been in your life?
I think earlier in the month we reached 103F which broke the record.

8. If you had to choose a theme song for your blog, which would would you choose and why?

9. Who was the last person you had an online conversation with that you've never met or talked to on your phone?
Kwuizgiver via email

Friday’s Fill-ins #185

Janet’s Friday’s Fill-ins #185



1. This is what life does. It lets you _build your hopes and then it lets you down_.

2. _A beautiful sunset lets you_ appreciate the moment?

3. Upon reflection _I should never have said that_.

4. _It has been hot and humid_ for quite a long time.

5. Later, you wake up _with a snort_

6. _Someday I would like to sail_ to the far and boundless sea.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _being with some friends at the cottage_, tomorrow my plans include _floating around the lake in an inner tube_ and Sunday, I want to _floating around the lake in an inner tube_!