There were so many close calls of being found crossdressed when I was growing up and I don’t know if I was lucky or not. I often wonder how my life would have changed if I had been caught.
My first narrow escape was way back in the early sixties (I was about thirteen) when my brother came home from a summer job for lunch. My mother went to Hartford for her monthly allergy shots and that meant that I was home alone…yeah!!! So I was crossdressed when my brother unexpectedly came home for lunch, I heard a car pull into the driveway and when I looked out the window, I saw it was my brother. I didn’t have time to change back into my male clothes so I jumped into bed and pulled the sheets up to my neck. When he saw me in bed he chided me for still being in bed, I was so scared that he was going to pull the sheets off, but he didn’t. When he went into the kitchen to make lunch, I managed to wiggle out of my clothes and join him in the kitchen. Whew!
My next brush with a close call was when I was in my late teens or early twenties and my parents went to the wedding of a neighbor’s son, so I had the whole afternoon to crossdress. About an hour after they left, I heard a car door slam and I looked out and saw my parents. I couldn’t run back to my room because I would have had to run by the front door, so I ran into the garage. I hid in the foot well of my car and later when they came home after the reception (they came home earlier because they had forgotten the wedding present), they asked me what I did that day. I lied and said that I went out with some friends.
One winter when my parent’s were down in Florida for the winter, I took a few days off from work to spend the long weekend crossdressed. Instead of going to the front door, for some reason, he went to the back door. I was trapped with no place to run! So I opened the door slightly and told him to come back a little latter. I thought that I was safe and that he didn’t see me, but years latter when I came out to my friends, he said that he saw me crossdressed then but never said anything…thank you.
When I moved into my new home, I was standing outside the basement door smoking some pot (Oh no, tell me it not true! Yes, in my younger days I use to smoke pot.). I thought that I was safe because no one could see me because there are all woods behind me. Well it turned out that a contractor friend was back there looking at job that he was bidding on to fill in some wetlands (that is another story) and he saw me. A few hours latter he stopped by and asked me if I was satisfied with the landscaping work that he did for me a month earlier; I think he just wanted to see if it was I standing there.
The last incident wasn’t a close call, but an actual outing. I was touching up my testimony for the anti-discrimination bill at work, when I accidentally printed it out on the department printer. One of my technicians found it and came to me and said, “Is this your crap!” Since it had my female name and my address on it, all I could do was deflect it slightly by saying that I was reviewing it for my cousin. In three months I was laid-off (not because of the incident, but because they were closing the shop and moving the work out of state.) and I then never had to worry ever again about being found out because I transitioned.
Transitioning removed a lot of stress from my life; I didn’t have to worry about leading a double life and living a lie. I don’t have to worry any more about close calls or accidentally outing myself.
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