I Only Wish That They Had Something Like This When I Was A Kid

Times are changing and sometimes for the better, when I was growing up I thought that I was the only one who was trans. Now read about this summer camp…

Disco-Ball Dresses and SpandexA dispatch from transgender camp for kids.
Slate.com
By Bedford Hope
Aug. 2, 2010

[…]
Welcome to the guarded world of families with gender-variant kids, where a word like sparkle can move you to tears. Started by a parent support group out of Children's National Medical Center, this year the camp hosted 25 families and was held in a rural retreat a three-hour drive from Chicago. Most of the "Camp I Am" kids will one day end up somewhere in the GLBTQ spectrum—maybe cross-dressers, gender queer, or another term yet to be invented. But if past experience is any indication, the majority of our girly-boys will one day consider themselves straightforwardly gay. For the kids who turn out to be truly born in the wrong body, their parents will continue to wrestle with pronouns, possible hormonal intervention, and possible surgery down the road. In the meantime, many of us have learned to accept ambiguity, "holding all options open," as some supportive therapists say. Many of us attempt to avoid labels for something that may or may not fade away in a year—or 10.
[…]
The camp experience is surreal, a trip to a planet where we're normal. The kids run wild, doing kid stuff, including improvisational theatre and dance, lip-syncing to Lady Gaga. They prepare for (and fret over) the weekend's climax―a fashion show in which each child, in turn, will march down a runway in a get-up of their own devising. Until they run themselves ragged and then sit in circles in our rooms painting their nails and telling poop jokes. For once, we don't hover over them. It's safe here.

Our kids are from Boston and San Francisco, the Great Salt Lake, New Jersey, Kansas City, and Mississippi. Other than the usual suspects (liberals, therapists, yoga instructors), the parents here are Republican, Catholic, Mormon, or otherwise conservative. Some tried to "fix" their kids as the best psychiatrists of the '70s used to advise (and as some still do). But when the fix didn't take, the parents at the camp decided they preferred a happy kid to a normal one, and they ended up here, watching the annual fashion show.
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My kid once screamed at a classmate, who wondered out loud why he was wearing the pink skirt, "It's a free country!" We who have allowed our kids to be themselves, if sometimes only behind closed doors, know it's not completely free yet. But we're working on it.

It is so important to allow children to find their own way, by forcing them into a role that is not true to themselves will create a life time of problems. There are two types of treatments for gender variant children (I say gender variant and not transgender because the kids are exploring their gender and my not truly be transgender. Many are gay or lesbian, while others maybe straight, but they all need time to firure it out for themselves.). One course of treatment is force the child into the gender role that they were assigned at birth, while course is to allow children to explore their gender and you know what? Both treatments have the same outcome; about 25% of the children are transgender. However, those children who are transgender and are forced in to the gender assigned at birth have higher anxiety levels, are under more stress than the children who are allowed to explore their own gender.

In another article on gender variant children, a father speaks out…

Father of a transgender tween speaks out
Thrive: Children's Hospital Boston’s Pediatric Health Blog
By Melissa Jeltsen
August 2, 2010

My 12 year old transgender daughter is my mentor. It’s tough to put into words what a profound impact this small person has had in changing my core values, but since the young age of five, she has unknowingly encouraged me to open my eyes and heart to new ideas. It hasn’t been easy. I’ve watched her experience severe emotional pain and physical frustration, but thanks to support and guidance, I’ve watched as she’s become a confident, happy and healthy child. And as she changed, I changed too.
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During the next few years I lived in an unaware bliss, an American dream I hoped would continue until retirement and old age. But my wife lived in the real world, a world that recognized one of our children was different. At first she could not put her finger on it, but she knew in her heart and soul that one of our children was special.

As time went on, others recognized the differences too. I saw signs as well, but pretended they were phases; anything more than that was too challenging to my moderate conservatism and pursuit of the American dream. I was convinced we could develop a strategy to love, support and raise our children and by staying “neutral” everything would be okay.

What happen next would rock my world, test my marriage, and challenge who I thought I was as a person. My baby, my beautiful son would begin to teach me that he was really my daughter. She, my son, their friends and my wife would show me that this was no big deal and change does not have to be hard if you love who you are changing for.
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I used to believe there was only one way to create the foundation for a “normal” life. I now know a family working together, exploring new ideas and being open to change builds a much stronger foundation that will stand the test of time. The shelter that you build on this foundation will help fend off most of the damaging opinions and fears of others and protect you from the rules that society considers “normal.”

I wish that I could add something to the father’s story, but I can’t. He said it so beautifully, we have to be open and loving to our children, and be ready to learn from them.