My Story Part 199: “I am Somebody”

I am taking the afternoon off, so I will post my "Personal Statement" for grad school from back in 2007:

About six years ago, I came out as a transsexual after denying it for most of my life. I hid this part of my life from all of my family and friends.  Over time, the pressure from keeping this secret grew inside of me.  I knew that I needed to make a decision which would rectify this internal discord. As part of this journey into self acceptance, I joined a transgender support group - the Connecticut Outreach Society. With the help of its members, I began going out into the public as Diana.  I also became more involved with the group – attending their Board meetings and taking part in outreaches at colleges and universities throughout Connecticut. 

Because of my interest and involvement, the Board asked me to become the Program Director for Connecticut Outreach Society.  I accepted and eventually assumed the role of Executive Director. As Director, I have had to interface with other Gay, Lesbian, Bi-sexual and Transsexual (GLBT) organizations both locally and nationally. One of these groups was True Colors in Manchester.  I assisted with their conferences and took part in panel discussions sponsored by True Colors.

The Policy and Procedures concentration relates with my personal goals in that I am now involved with the coalition which is lobbing for the inclusion of Gender and Gender Expression into the current Anti-discrimination statue in Connecticut. As a Board member of the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC), I am involved with trying to change the current regulations which govern Birth Certificates.  This change in regulations would allow for gender indicated on a Birth Certificate to reflect the individual’s gender identity without having surgery. Through the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC), we are working to make homeless shelters more Trans friendly.  Through the Connecticut Women Education and Legal Fund, we are implementing a health assessment for the Trans community - using a student volunteer.

The University’s Mission Statement fits well into my goals of wanting to bring about social change and equality to the marginized GLBT community. As I stated previously, I am a volunteer with the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalition (CTAC) and part of my work with CTAC is assisting individuals in the transgender community with housing, legal, medical and employment issues. In trying to pass legislation to have Gender and Gender Expression added to the state’s Anti-Discrimination Statues, I have lobbied my state representatives to bring about those changes.  I also volunteered this past summer and fall for the Lamont Senatorial campaign.  

Currently, I am on the Advisory Committee for a Trans Health and Legal Conference which will be held this coming spring (2007) at the University of Connecticut Medical Center in Farmington. The volunteer work that I do for True Colors has taught me how to work with youth from a diverse racial and social background.  The True Colors conference has also intensified my organizational skills. Through the public speaking engagements that I have performed on behalf of the Connecticut Outreach Society at the various universities and colleges throughout Connecticut, I have increased my public speaking skills as well.  

As I become more involved with the GLBT community, the more I understand the need to help overcome the discrimination that I personally felt and saw around me. I have seen families break up; friends lose their jobs after coming out to their employers and I saw a support group member evicted from their apartment – all because they were transgender.  I know first hand what it is like to be laughed at and made to feel like a freak. I know someone who tried to commit suicide and I knew someone who succeeded.  I know someone who had been physically abused by her father because she was not “manly enough” - she had to run away from home.  She had to work the streets to survive and was arrested and then beaten by the police. She then fled north to Connecticut and was homeless because there were no women’s or men’s shelters that would let her in. Now, she is living at the YWCA and has one of the brightest personalities that I have seen. 

I have seen the difficulties that the transgender African-Americans and Hispanics endure due to their cultures. I know people who have AIDS/HIV and I have seen how they have had to cope with their disease.

The more I saw the emotional, physical and psychological struggles within the transgender community, the more I felt the need to try to make changes that could over come these injustices while making a better life for the next generation. The volunteer work I do now is only a beginning - but I want to be able to do more.  I feel that having a Masters degree in Social Work will help me achieve these goals.

I came from a white middle class background and it was hard for me to breakout of that mold. I had never interacted with any African-Americans, Hispanics and homeless and it took quite an effort to over come any indifference. By volunteering at True Colors worked together with queer youth and other individuals who were not from a white middle class background, it helped me over come those prejudices.  

As a shy person, I must force myself to meet new people. The volunteer work I did with the Lamont campaign allowed me to meet many new people all on my own. I was the only transperson that was working in the West Hartford office.  This forced me to either overcoming my shyness so that I could interact with others or else sit in a corner by myself throughout the campaign.  In addition, going out into the public as Diana was a very fast way to become immersed in new life experiences -- it was either sink or swim.

The outreach that I do helps me in overcoming my fear of public speaking while building my self-confidence.  For example, one particular speaking engagement I had with True Colors at Central Connecticut State College (CCSU) had an audience of approximately two hundred students, professors and Department of Children and Family (DCF) employees.

I feel that what I have learned since I have come out reflects the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). One of my lessons learned includes to value diversity.  I have learned to look beyond the color of a person’s skin; to look beyond if they are rich or poor or whether they are from the suburbs or the inner city.  I have looked within the person - to see their full potential. Before I came out, I lived in fear and shame. I was afraid that someone would find out about my great secret and my self-worth suffered accordingly.  In coming out, I leaned self-acceptance and in gaining this acceptance came empowerment. This has become a valuable tool in which to help others.  Self-acceptance allows one to not only believe in themselves but that all things are possible – even social change and social justice.  I think the Reverend Jesse Jackson said it best in his poem “I am Somebody” -- we are all somebody and we can never forget that.