Editorial: It Is Their Decision.

[Editorial]

I recently read about someone who chose to detransition. And it brought to mind many of the lessons I’ve gathered over the years.

I’ve been on this road a long time. I came out in 1999, found my way to the Connecticut Outreach Society, and in time became one of its officers. I sat in the circle at Twenty Club meetings, listened, learned, and eventually made my way to the Gender Identity Clinic of New England. I got my papers in 2004, and by 2007, I had completed my own transition.

Over all those years, one truth settled into my bones: gender is a spectrum, and each of us walks our path at the pace that’s right for us. Some feel the need to transition immediately; others, like me, take our time, feeling our way forward step by steady step.

I’ve heard every kind of story along the way—some unexpected, some tender, some difficult. I’ve met people who were turned away from clinics for this reason or that. One woman demanded everything now, and when the clinic declined, she packed her bags for Thailand. People find their routes in all sorts of ways.

And yes, I’ve known those who detransitioned. They did so for many reasons. A few realized it was the right choice for them. Some simply couldn’t make ends meet—one woman couldn’t find a job and had to return to her parents’ home. Two later found their way back and retransitioned. One was simply ahead of her time: she transitioned early, faced a world not yet ready for her, and later, when the climate had changed, she stepped forward again.

But across all these stories, there’s a thread that binds them. Every one of them picked up their life and carried on. They didn’t linger in bitterness. They didn’t let themselves be used as symbols by those who misunderstand or oppose us. They didn’t tear down others walking this path.

They simply gathered their pieces, held their heads high, and moved forward.

There’s wisdom in that, I think.

[/Editorial]

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Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, the past I have post the list of names, it take a heavy toll on us. So I just post a link to the list here.

 

This is from a TDOR march to the capitol to read the names, it is circa 2005