Goody, Goody Two Shoes

I remember reading a comment about a trans woman about a trans woman using a bathroom and the person said that trans woman couldn’t be transgender because she wore jeans, a tee shirt, sneakers, and didn’t wear makeup. That if she really was transgender then she would be wearing a dress and heels and have makeup on.

I’m a Trans Woman – And I’m Not Interested in Being One of the ‘Good Ones’
Everyday Feminism
By Vivian Taylor
May 29, 2015

A month or two after I started living full time out as woman, one of my friends suggested I talk to an acquaintance of his, an older trans woman who had been out for years.
[…]
What actually happened was that she showed up and asked why I wasn’t dressed like a woman. I was wearing skinny jeans, a studded belt, and an ironic t-shirt. I liked how I looked. I looked, in my opinion, like a queer woman in her mid-twenties on her day off, which, shockingly, I was.
[…]
There was a woman I met soon after moving back up to Boston in 2011. She had transitioned in her teens, and most folks wouldn’t know she was trans unless she wanted to tell them. She had a real heart for women who were just starting transition, but she had expectations for those people.

She couldn’t stand “bricks.” She explained that bricks were women who looked “like a man in a dress.” A cinderblock was even worse. A trans guy who was too femme was feathery.

Sometimes the trans community is most critical of how we look, some of us have a dated imagine of how we should present ourselves. The trans police want to enforce their view of how a trans person should look.

But the thing is women come in all shapes and sizes, some are very feminine while others look quite masculine and trans people come in all difference shapes and sizes and some of us are very feminine while others look quite masculine.

But you know what’s worse than being somebody’s idea of a bad tr*nny? Being somebody’s idea of a good tr*nny, an acceptable tr*nny.
[…]
“All the other trans people I’ve known are always so stressed out and unhappy, and are just so difficult. You do an amazing job of making people comfortable.”

And by then I was ready to leap on him to get him to be quiet. The only other trans person he knew, as far as I was aware, was standing a few yards away. I don’t know if she heard that or not, but I really hope not.

And then there is the left handed compliment,

Here’s the thing: People fucking despise trans women. Often the nicest thing they can thing of to say to trans woman is “Gosh, you are so little like a trans woman!” Being trans is something to avoid, to exclude, to escape, at worst to nobly bare up under.

I once was on a panel for the movie Gen Silent and part of the discussion was about trans etiquette and after the discussion I was making my rounds talking to the attendees, then one woman came up and told me that she never knew I was a man.

Agh! I wanted to head slap her and ask her weren’t you listening for the last half hour.