What Would You Do?

I thought her answer was excellent, but the father wasn’t

Transgender Waitress Inspired by 'Stellar' Act of ParentingYahoo News
By Elizabeth Armstrong Moore
September 21, 2015

We’ve all seen it. A child stops and stares or points at someone who is somehow different from what they would expect. Often the parent will shush any questions and look embarrassed. But as far as Liv Hnilicka is concerned, one parent recently handled one of these moments with aplomb. The trans waitress posted a story on Facebook Sunday that begins with the words “Stellar parenting moment of the day,” following an exchange she had with a father and his young daughter shortly after they entered the restaurant. She says she posted it publicly so that people can share the story with other parents they know, and within about 12 hours of posting it had been shared roughly 100 times; commenters called Hnilicka, whose profile identifies her as living in Minneapolis, “an inspiration.” Another writes, “I’m still crying. Magic.”

Ms. Hnilicka wrote on her Facebook page,

This afternoon I was at my waitressing job on a beautiful early fall afternoon. Two parents and their young daughter came in; the tall burly dad adorably scratching his back on the door as they walked in. As I was filling the water station, he came up to me and said, "My daughter just asked if you were a boy or a girl. I didn't want to speak for you so would you like to talk to her?" I nervously said yes and walked to their table. "Hi, I like your hair ribbon," I said. "I heard you asked if I was a boy or girl. I think the important thing to remember is that everyone can be anything they want to be in this world. And it's also important to try to be the best selves we can be for our family and friends. And even to strangers. So to answer your question, I was told that I was a boy when I was little and now I live my adult life as a girl. It sounds complicated but it's actually pretty simple. Do you have any questions for me?" She looked at me smiling and simply said, "Nope!"

I walked away from the table feeling really good about parents intentionally engaging their children about possibly difficult topics. And showing that giving people the power to voice their truths in this complicated world is beautiful and healing.

I think it would have been nice if the father knew the answer and answered the question himself, but he did the next best thing. I don't know if I could have come up with an answer Ms. Hnilicka came up with at the spur of the moment.