Mothers!

I know of parents that are totally supportive of their trans child and I know of parents that thrown out their child because of being trans gender. This is the story of two great parents.

In Her Best World, There Would Be No Doctors
CT Working Moms
October 5, 2015
By CTMomNextDoor

I legitimately forget sometimes that my daughter used to live as a boy. In our everyday routine of school, homework, video games, chores, dinner together, and finding lost shoes, my daughter is just wholly, completely, and happily my daughter. We admire Jazz Jennings in our household. A lot. We talk about transgender heroes and role models like Laverne Cox and the groundbreaking work they have done to raise awareness and acceptance of being transgender. But my daughter chooses not to be out as a transgender girl. She does not want to be a role model, an advocate, or a hero. She wants to be a girl. Plain and simple.

So sometimes I forget that she was ever considered a boy.

I see how happy she is since she transitioned to living her truth full time, almost two years ago. The child she is now is light years away from the child she was, anxious and angry and unhappy. Her light shines bright these days and it is very easy to fall into that light and think that everything is okay.

Sometimes for trans people the hardest times are when we are most vulnerable is when we have to visit the doctor and many times the doctors are the gatekeepers that allow us to be ourselves.

But every year we have a well child check-up and I am forcefully reminded that even though she is happy as a girl, she is not okay with being transgender. It’s called gender dysphoria. My daughter is deeply unhappy with the male aspects of her physical body. When she is going about her daily life and is accepted — when she “passes” — as a cis-gender girl, she feels good. When she is forced to acknowledge that she has a penis, she feels deep anxiety and anger. She doesn’t want anyone else to ever see her private parts. You can be transgender, not take any hormones, not have any surgeries, and be fine with the body you’re in. That’s being transgender without having dysphoria. My daughter falls into the more common category — being transgender and also having dysphoria about the body she was born into. (You can be transgender and experience dysphoria, use the medical interventions available to have a body that matches your gender, and then no longer have dysphoria, but not everyone fits this category, either, and any transgender child has to wait until they are old enough for medical intervention.)

For me it is when I have my prostrate checked during my annual doctor’s visit (which every trans woman should have done once a year) or for a trans man who has to go to an ob/gyn for a check-up.

All the negative effects of transitioning decrease to normal levels just by having a support family, suicides, self-harm, drug and alcohol use, and anti-social behavior all drop back to normal levels for adolescents.

The author has written two earlier articles about her daughter, one about changing her name and the first article about school.