YMMV

Every situation is different; organizations vary from place to place. What okay in one place might not be in other location. A trans-man and his partner found that out at a PFLAG dance when he asked if his girlfriend and he would be welcome at a lesbian Valentine dance, this was the reply that he received…

Hi --- -
Congratulations on your transition!
Your question is a difficult one:
It's a dance for women and the people attending expect to see women dancing with women.  Whether the women are lesbian or straight or bi - they're still women.  If you identify with being a man - then you're a man.
I'm sorry if it's not the answer you were looking for - but there are so many opportunities for women and men to dance and play together. This dance is special and especially for women.
All our best,
--- and ---

Tomorrow I am going to a lesbian Valentine dance with some trans-women friends and the people who run the dance are very open to trans-people. I had lunch with the dance organizer the other day and she said that their dances are open to all people who are or were women or identify or express themselves was women (This Valentine dance is actually open to all people including men).

I have been to a Tea Dances where they said that it was only for women born women, but after a stare down they let us in. Some of the women there were standoffish while others were friendly.

Update 2/15/14 10:00AM
There is an update on his blog, the dance is a fundraiser for PFLAG and not a PFLAG dance,

UPDATE: It’s been quite an emotional roller coaster. I want to make a clarification: This is a private group of women holding a fundraiser. It is NOT a PFLAG group. PFLAG, itself is trans-inclusive and trans-friendly. In addition, trans-women are welcomed at the dance. (Not sure about people who don’t identify as either binary but that’s a different issue.)