Just In Case…

When I was living on my own my collection of clothes grew to a point where in my bureau my male clothes were in just one draw and my closet was about only ¼ male clothes. I thought one day what would happen if something happened to me and my parents found all my clothes?

So I wrote them a letter and left it in the bottom of the bureau draw…

Because what you have found, I think I owe you an explanation. It was my little secret. Nobody knew about it. I keep it a secret since the early sixties. I started cross-dressing after the seventh grade. Do you remember the seventh grade initiation at St. Paul’s school? Where we had to ware short skirts and high heels, well that start it off. I have been doing it off and on ever since.

Even before that I remember strangers always asking “don’t you wish that you had a little girl” and I remember praying at night to wake up as a girl.

But, the trigger was the seventh grade initiation. When I looked in the mirror I saw a “little girl.” I started dressing up, at first it was….well I liked looking in the mirror it was just fun. Just something to do, I didn’t think it was wrong or different. I even gave myself a name “Diana.” Then I was doing it more and more.

When you were away getting your allergy shots, I use to get dressed up. Many time I tried to stop, but I always started again. I use to cry myself to sleep saying that “I want to be a girl.” I continued cross-dressing ever since and have keep it a secret

I hope that you will try to understand and not feel that it was in any way due to something that did that cause me to do this. Don’t blame yourself! It is something that happened. Please try to understand.

My parents passed away before I came out so I never needed my letter.

Every time they came over my house I always worried that they would find my clothes, that she would open my bureau draw or open the closet door; if she did, she never said anything about it to me. I think that my mother knew about my little habit but I don’t know if my father knew.