Wednesday, February 26, 2020

It Is Hard In This Political Season…

...To find something that is not political but I found some non-political.
Ask Amy: Transgender man makes strides during holiday visit, with humor
By Amy Dickinson
February 20, 2020

Dear Readers: Like all of you, I am curious about how things turn out after I publish a question.
The following two letters are responses to a recent question from a college sophomore who signed his letter "Embarrassed."

Dear Amy: I've been reading your column since I was a little kid.

Last month, I decided to ask you my own question.

As a transgender man, I was confused and embarrassed during the Thanksgiving holiday that my parents persisted in calling me by the female name they assigned to me at birth.
[…]
Your advice was to face the issue with compassion and humor. You explained that my parents were also going through a transition, but because they didn't live in my body, they were experiencing it differently than I was.

This made visiting home for Christmas easier. I could laugh it off, which made other people laugh, and ultimately avoided that awkwardness of correcting people. My go-to phrase now is: "I'm a man, just a soprano."

The confidence and kindness I've been able to exude has helped to ease the tension.
Humor can make transitioning a lot easier, if you go around in life with a chip on your shoulder life is going to be much harder.

I have seen so many trans people who attack anybody who makes a slip. I realize all to well how after a day of being misgendered can wear on you, but I have seen some trans people jump allover a person who is trying to adjust but slips occasionally.

I know of one trans man who has a beard and is balding who told me his mother slipped at a restaurant and deadnamed him to the waitress, he made a circling motion to the side of his head and said to the waitress that his mother is getting older and her mind is starting to go.
...But armed with resources, humor and love, they're slowly starting to realize that their son and brother has always been here -- he was just wearing the wrong sweater.
My advice is to give them a chance, we lived all out life with gender dysphoria and for them gender dysphoria came out of the blue and maintain your sense of humor.

I like to tell the story of one Fantasia Fair when I was walking down Commercial Street, a couple was coming out of a store and the husband said to his wife, “There are a number of tall women in town I wonder if there is a women’s basketball game in town?”



This morning I am doing training at the Provider Network for long term care and home care providers.
Her topic will be related to the trans experience with long-term services and supports and how we can support the community by providing inclusive care.  I have asked Diana to speak for the first hour or so and then engage in a dialogue with all of you where I trust you will feel free to bring your questions and concerns.  Following her presentation, you will have an opportunity to share your experiences as an “out” and inclusive provider and to let us (CCC) know what additional training materials or topics you would like is to provide.  We will end with lunch at noon. 
I get a free lunch out of it disproving the saying "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch."

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