I always joke the if you can’t tell that I’m trans within ten feet, then you need new glasses and a hearing aid. When I am out in public shopping, I don’t think anyone even notices that I’m trans, if I interact with them they may notice. However, most people never comment so I don’t know if they “read” me and I don’t care if they did or not, it’s how they treat me that is important. If I interact with them, say they are helping me pick out something to buy then, I think there is a good chance in being read.
A few years back I was in an accident and I had to go to an auto repair shop and talk to the owner. I could tell when he read me as trans, his eyes opened wider and he took a step back. However, by the time we finished, he was back to the normal talking distance and we again relaxed.
Sometime when I am in a check-out line the clerk smiles at me and in the back of my mind, I am thinking, did she just read me or does she smile at everyone. Yes, I suppose that I am a little paranoid, but I think it comes with the territory.
That is how it is in my daily life, but as an activist I am OUT. If you Google my full name you get hundreds of hits, I have been interviewed on television, on radio and by the newspapers many times. I have been on numerous panels. I was at a supermarket deli and the woman at the counter recognized me from a TV news interview. A journalist student was able to find my home phone number (scary) and ask for an interview for the college newspaper.
So when someone says that they are “Stealth” or “Out & Proud” they mean different things in different settings.
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