Simple Things Bring Big Rewards

I learned this in 2010 when I was on the Safe School committee where we were looking for ways to cut bullying in schools. In a 2005 paper “Creating a peaceful school learning environment: the impact of an antibullying program on educational attainment in elementary schools” in Medical Science Monitor I quoted,

Implement intervention strategies specific to aggressive children. Approaches to intervention with aggressive students and their victims fall into five general categories: (a) behavior management; (b) self-control strategies; (c) social skills training; (d) information processing; and (e) cognitive perspective taking.

Which brings me to an article in UpWorthy…

Researchers studied kindergarteners' behavior and followed up 19 years later. Here are the findings.
Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.
By Evan Porter
January 12, 2023


Every parent wants to see their kid get good grades in school. But now we know social success is just as important.

From an early age, we're led to believe our grades and test scores are the key to everything — namely, going to college, getting a job, and finding that glittery path to lifelong happiness and prosperity.

It can be a little stressful.

But a study showed that when children learn to interact effectively with their peers and control their emotions, it can have an enormous impact on how their adult lives take shape. And according to the study, kids should be spending more time on these skills in school.

That is what the 2005 paper found, early intervention can prevent life long anti-social behavior.

2. Skills like sharing and cooperating pay off later in life.

We know we need to look beyond GPA and state-mandated testing to figure out which kids are on the right path. That's why the researchers zeroed in so heavily on that social competency score.

What they found probably isn't too surprising: Kids who related well to their peers, handled their emotions better, and were good at resolving problems went on to have more successful lives.

What's surprising is just how strong the correlation was.

An increase of a single point in social competency score showed a child would be 54% more likely to earn a high school diploma, twice as likely to graduate with a college degree, and 46% more likely to have a stable, full-time job at age 25.

The kids who were always stealing toys, breaking things, and having meltdowns? More likely to have run-ins with the law and substance abuse problems.

The study couldn't say for sure that strong or poor social skills directly cause any of these things. But we can say for sure that eating too much glue during arts and crafts definitely doesn't help.

3. Social behaviors can be learned and unlearned — meaning it's never too late to change.

The researchers called some of these pro-social behaviors like sharing and cooperating "malleable," or changeable.

Let's face it: Some kids are just never going to be rocket scientists. Turns out there are physical differences in our brains that make learning easier for some people than others. But settling disputes with peers? That's something kids (and adults) can always continue to improve on.

And guess what? For a lot of kids, these behaviors come from their parents. The more you're able to demonstrate positive social traits like warmth and empathy, the better off your kids will be.

So can we all agree to stop yelling at people when they take the parking spot we wanted?

Early intervention for socially inapt can make a big difference, it ended bullying, and violence later in life.

Still, the 19-year study paints a pretty clear picture: Pro-social behavior matters, even at a young age. And because it can be learned, it's a great "target for prevention or intervention efforts."

The bottom line? We need to do more than just teach kids information. We need to invest in teaching them how to relate to others and how to handle the things they're feeling inside.

Ignoring social skills in our curricula could have huge ramifications for our kids down the road.

My conclusion in my paper  was,

From the research it is clear that a broad approach to end bullying is needed, that the focus cannot just be on the bully or just the school, but it must be focused on the whole community. That there has to be a wholesale intervention to bring about a change in culture that involves the community, parents, school administration, teachers and students in order to stop the bullying. In addition, it must be an ongoing process and not just a onetime intervention.