What Do You Do?

When you are in the heart of Bible country and you are LGBTQ+?

I go back to Hilary Clinton’s “It Takes a Village” and in our case the village is the LGBTQ+ community and their families.

How Families Help Support LGBTQ Kids in One of the Most Conservative States in the Country
"I could've never imagined five years ago that this is where I would be," Katelyn Handy, 20, tells PEOPLE of coming out in Utah. "I am happy. I'm healthy."
People
By Wendy Naugle
August 20, 2021


Utah is one of the most conservative states in the country, and more than 60 percent of the population there identifies as Mormon, a faith that firmly believes acting on same-sex attraction is a sin.

"I was very, very devout in the church," Katelyn Handy, 20, tells PEOPLE. "I ended up having a crush on someone, and it wasn't a guy. That kind of shocked me to my core."
[…]
So how are kids and their families there finding ways to thrive? Below, four families who have found support through Encircle, a network of homes that support LGBTQ youth and their families, share their stories.

It takes a family…

Katelyn: I started falling away from the church — just not believing in it as much — at the same time I was figuring out that I was gay. The first person I told was my mom. We were having a conversation, and she said, "You know, if one of you guys ever came out as gay, it wouldn't be a big deal." For context, my parents are divorced and my mom is not LDS [The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints]. So I was like, I guess this is it. I was like, "Mom, I have something to tell you." I was so scared, even though she had just said that it would be fine. It's still terrifying to say those words: "I think I like girls."

Jen: My first thought was, I want her to still be here. I didn't think that she would be suicidal per se, but I could imagine that it was possible. Then the next thought was hoping that she could find a community she would be able to relate with, that there would be safety and acceptance from within the family.

Research has shown that having a support network can make all the difference in living or dying. Whether it is a family member, GSA in school, or a LGBTQ community center it makes a huge difference in the lives of young LGBTQ+ people.

GLSEN reported,

Unfortunately, according to the most recent School Health Profiles (SHP) report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), many LGBTQ students are left without access to this critical support. In fact, the SHP data, as reported by school principals, indicate that the distribution of GSAs across the country is far from uniform.
[…]
These results corroborate some of GLSEN’s National School Climate Survey (NSCS) findings, in which we found similar patterns of GSA availability, as reported by LGBTQ students. For example, we also found GSAs to be less common in the South and the Midwest. Our data also indicated that LGBTQ students in the South and Midwest were less likely to have LGBTQ-supportive staff and administration in school. These lower levels of institutional support could contribute to the scarcity of GSAs in these areas. It may be tough for students to start an LGBTQ student club if a school’s staff and administration have given no indication that they will be receptive to the idea.

Connecticut is one of the states that are leading the way.

Only 3 states have a gay-straight alliance in more than half of their high schools
Child Trends
By Dominique Parris and Brandon Stratford
November 5, 2019


In 45 states and the District of Columbia, less than half of all high schools report having a gay-straight alliance (also known as a genders and sexualities alliance, or GSA), according to 2016 data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Among the 48 states (as well as the District of Columbia) that provide data, only three states (New York, Connecticut, and Massachusetts) can claim that more than half of their high schools have a GSA. Massachusetts has the highest percentage of high schools (60.5%) with a GSA, while South Dakota has the lowest (9.3%). Less than 16 percent of high schools in four states (including South Dakota) have a GSA. In 25 states, 17.9 percent to roughly one-third of high schools have a GSA; in an additional 16 states and the District of Columbia, GSAs can be found in roughly one-third to 46.9 percent of secondary schools.

Republican conservative states have the fewest;

• South Dakota: 9.3%
• Arkansas: 13.9%
• North Dakota: 14.4%
• Nebraska: 15.9%

In those states and others LGBTQ+ youth need to form peer support groups and their parents and family need to let know that they are loved.

Families of celebrity have been speaking out in support.

Celebrity Parents Who've Spoken Out in Support of Their LGBTQ+ Kids
See what Jamie Lee Curtis, Dwyane Wade, Cynthia Nixon and more stars have said about their kids' LGBTQ+ journeys
People
By Sophie Dodd
August 06, 2021


Jamie Lee Curtis
"[My husband and I] have watched in wonder and pride as our son became our daughter Ruby."

— Knives Out actress Jamie Lee Curtis, revealing that her youngest child with husband Christopher Guest is transgender in AARP the magaizine's August/September 2021 issue
[…]
Cynthia Nixon
"I'm so proud of my son Samuel Joseph Mozes (called Seph) who graduated college this month. I salute him and everyone else marking today's #TransDayofAction. #TDOA."

— Sex and the City actress Cynthia Nixon, sharing publicly that her son is transgender, on Instagram
[…]
Sally Field
"Sam is my youngest son, by 18 years, and he's gay. To that, I say: So what? [...] His journey to allow himself to be what nature intended him to be was not an easy one [...] I could make it easier only by standing visibly to the side, clearly loving him, always being there and always letting him know."

— Lincoln star Sally Field, on supporting son Samuel Greisman as he grappled with his sexuality growing up, in an open letter to the Human Rights Campaign
[…]
Billy Ray Cyrus
"We've always been very open-minded. Listen, it's all about love and light. Forget the negativity and the haters […] She's rocking and rolling and having a good time. What the world needs is love. There's too much hate […] The world needs positive influences."

— Singer Billy Ray Cyrus, on daughter Miley Cyrus coming out as pansexual, to E! News.
[…]
Khary Payton
"Man, there is nothing more beautiful than watching your child feel the joy of exploring what it means to be true to themselves," Payton continued. "This is his journey, and I am here for it. I hope you all have the opportunity to feel the unquenchable love that I am feeling right now."

—Walking Dead star Khary Payton about son Karter, who came out as transgender in 2020, on Instagram

It may seem like a little thing the support of their parents but it has massive impact on the lives of their children and other LGBTQ+ children.

Parents in northwestern Connecticut saw a void of support for their LGBTQ+ children and are forming their own parent network and in other parts of the country parents and LGBTQ+ children are forming their own safe spaces.

I keep on remembering Harvey Milk’s “Come out, come out, wherever you are” is also true for our parents.

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Speaking Of A Safe Space

With the virus running rampant again and once again people are getting violent over wearing masks as schools require the wearing of masks, even some governors are getting in to the fray by banning the wearing of masks in schools.

Clever mom opts daughter out of school dress code citing ban on mask mandates

A mother's email challenging the sexist dress codes of her daughter's schools has gone viral after she asserted her "beliefs" about the mandate on spaghetti straps.

By LGBTQ Nation 

August 18, 2021

A mother’s email opposing the dress code of her daughter’s school has gone viral for challenging the sexist gender roles and highlighting her state’s absurd ban on school mask mandates.

On August 17, Tennessee’s Republican Governor Bill Lee signed an executive order requiring schools districts with mask mandates to allow parents to opt out. The policy increases the likelihood of a COVID-19 outbreak.

In response, an unknown parent wrote an email to the Hamilton County School Board of Chattanooga, Tennessee requesting a form to opt her daughter out of the school’s dress code.

She says that the dress code violates her deeply held feminists beliefs.

“In light of the opt-out option related to the recently-announced mask mandate, I can only assume that parents are now in a position to pick and choose the school policies to which their children should be subject,” the email continued.

“I therefore intend to opt out of this policy and send my daughter to school in spaghetti straps, leggings, cut offs, and anything else she feels comfortable wearing to school. Please make a note that she is not, under any circumstances, to be dress coded, as I have clearly communicated my decision to opt out of this policy,” the email concluded.

I suggest that there is another way to force schools to mandate masks and it uses a law that requires schools to have a safe learning environment.

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS: A Resource for Students, Parents and Guardians

Under U.S. law every child has the right to attend public school from

kindergarten through 12th grade, regardless of race, gender, religion or

immigration status.

School officials are responsible for providing a safe learning environment,

free from discrimination, harassment or violence. They are not allowed to

make policies or act in a manner that would deny a child access to education. 

If masks are not mandatory how can you have a safe space for learning?