My Story Part 79 – The Long And Winding Road

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your door.

How does that Chinese proverb go about a journey begins with one step? Sometimes we never know that we are on a journey until we look back and see the trail of footsteps. My long and winding journey began without a conscious decision, it was just steps that evolved into a journey.

I remember it was at the Hartford Pride in 2003, the year when it was held down by the river, the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS) booth was right next to the Connecticut TransAdvocacy Coalitions booth. So all day I sat there talking to them and I liked what I heard. I asked them a simple question, “What can I do to help?” I asked that question over and over again, at that time I never knew the road asking that question would take me down. In 2005, I was asked if I would be interested in joining CT Transadvocacy Coalition’s Board. We met in a little bookstore on New Britain Ave in Hartford, just by Trinity College, where we each talked about our goals for CTAC and one thing we all agreed upon was to pass the anti-discrimination law. Later that year, I was invited to a fundraiser for GenderPAC by Rachel down in Stamford at an IBM VP’s house. It was at that fundraiser that I met Mayor Malloy, now Governor for the first time. Also at the fundraiser were State Senator Andrew McDonald, who is now the Governor’s chief legal counsel and Representative Mike Lawlor, who is now undersecretary for criminal justice policy and planning at the Office of Policy and Management for the Governor. I would meet them again at a fundraiser for Lawlor and McDoanld reelection and when I testified for the bill before the Judiciary Committee, they were familiar faces. Also there at the GenderPAC fundraiser was the First Selectman Diane Farrell of Westport. I have also volunteered to help out on Lamont’s senate campaign against Lieberman and I helped out on Attorney General George Jepsen's campaign. Believe it or not, but I not very political, I helped out on the campaigns and gone to fundraisers because, 1) I didn’t want the other party’s candidate to win and 2) because I wanted a trans-person to be visible helping out. I will be helping out with other candidates in the future for the same reasons.

In 2006, with the prospect of retirement looming I asked that question again, “What can I do to help?” and the answer came back, get your MSW… me a social worker, no way! I’m not a people person. I asked that several more times and the answers kept on coming back get your MSW. I collect the mail for COS and one day when I picked up the mail there was a booklet from the University Of Connecticut School Of Social Work and I tossed it in the back seat of my car. I asked a friend at the CT Women’s Education and Legal Fund (CWEALF) and she said the same thing. I told her that I’m not a people person and I wouldn’t make a good therapist. She told me about the Macro side of social work and I thought… Hmmm. Later on I dug the booklet I got from UConn SSW out of the stuff in my back seat and read it. I found a few courses that I might be interested in taking and I signed up for. And that is how I ending up going back to school, by asking that simple little question, “What can I do to help?”

In October of that year, I received an email from Jerimarie asking if I would be interested in attending the Core group meeting for the anti-discrimination bill. I attended the meeting at Betty Gallo & Co. office in Hartford and when I arrived I found some familiar faces and so faces that I didn’t know but I would come to know. I have been involved with the legislation ever since then, helping out any way that I could to pass the bill.

This year I have asked that question again and I’m helping out with the planning of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) fall conference. I have been also helping out planning the Trans Health and Law conference ever since it started five years ago.

You can also help to bring about change; all you have to do is say those six magic words…”What can I do to help?”