Getting To Know You

Photo Day! Thursday: SIGNS of Summer

This week, it's all about "signs"...no, not the kind you wish for to see if you've made a good decision...we are talkin' actual signs. So... take a picture of a sign you are drawn to in your travels around town or away from home. (For me, summer means that I stop for antique signs...much to my family's dismay).

This is a photograph of a sign that I took in May which was in front of a cottage in Perkin's Cove ME. I guess they don't like tourists parking in front of their cottage, but at least they wish you to have a nice day.

Getting To Know You

Dialog Friday - Independence Day

Has there been a pivotal time in your life when you declared independence (even if just to yourself)? Independence from a job that was sucking the life out of you? Independence from a bad habit finally dropped? Independence from a toxic relationship?

Yesterday (Friday) was my Independence Day
I am free from working for a living.
I am free to be myself.
On Friday I got laid off and I am taking early retirement. I have already started going back to college to get my Masters so that I can better help the non-profit agencies that I do volunteer work with. I want to give back to the community what I have taking out of the community.
Because I do not have to worry about work, I am beginning my transition (Living full time as Diana) today and to celebrate I went and had my ears pieced. Kind of a “Right of Passage”

Friday Fiver

Friday Fiver: There's no telling

1. What troubles you?
Everything, I worry way too much, I think I worry because I am always think about the worst that can happen and then I am surprised when everything comes out good.

2. Do you like thunderstorms?
I love them, as long as no one gets hurts. I like the raw power that they display; just think just by heating and cooling air and water vapor you get those massive storms.

3. Do you sleep easily or toss and turn?
Yes, see my answer to question number 1. because I worry I do not sleep well at night.

4. What do you offer a friend?
An ear to listen with and a shoulder to lean on.

5. Friday fill-in: Please don't ___.
eat the daisies.

A Very Emotional Day!

Today was my last day at work and the first day of living full time.
At work there were a lot of tears and hugs and goodbyes, I was almost crying the full time as I walked around the shop saying my goodbyes. Most of us have worked together for over twenty years and we are like a family. I will miss everyone but not the company.

Also I went to the nursing home for the first time as Diana and my aunt’s reaction to seeing me was mixed. At first she asked “Why am I doing this?” and “I don’t like you like this.” After awhile she start to talking to me on other subjects but asked questions now and then about why I am doing this. She also asked about me hair a couple of times. The nursing home administrator was talking to her before I came, so that helped a little. My aunt seemed, I wouldn’t say alright with it, but OK with it when I was leaving and wanted to know when I was coming again.
She did not want the picture and she made a face when I offered it a second time.
So I guess I just have to see how she does with it in the future.

To celebrate my new freedom and got two more holes added to my head. I went to the mall and got my ears pierced for the first time.

Getting To Know You

GTKY Wednesday: Food, bcuz we luv it!

Create a Connections and casa de Charlotte della luna

~~ Lobster Newburg ~~

* 1 1/2 pounds lobster meat, fresh cooked - cut in large chunks
* 3 tablespoons flour
* 1 tablespoon paprika
* 1 tablespoon chopped shallots
* 1/2 cup dry sherry
* 1 cup light cream
* 1 cup heavy cream
* 1 dash salt
* 1 dash white pepper
* 1 dash cayenne pepper
* 1 tablespoon chopped chives
* 4 tablespoons butter
* 4 Slices of toast

In a pan with 1-tablespoon butter add shallots and lobster meat. Sauté until meat is warmed through, now remove and keep warm. Melt butter in a saucepan then add the flour and cook on low stirring for 4-5 minutes. Let this (roux) cool in the pot. Add paprika and sherry. Continue to cook for two minutes. Add fresh cream and cook until mixture is almost boiling. Whisk in the roux and cook slowly for 10 minutes stirring so the sauce doesn't scorch. Now add warm lobster and stir gently until thoroughly blended. Add the salt and white and cayenne peppers to taste. Place on plates and sprinkle with chopped chives. Serve over toast (my mother always used toast but you can also serve it over pasta or corn bread or rice.)

I remember my mother always making this for me on my birthday. Whenever I now have Lobster Newberg it brings back memories the family sitting around the dinning room table eating Lobster Newberg and the party hats. My brother the year my father died inviting me up to their condo in Maine on my birthday and they surprised me with Lobster Newberg.

Pride Festival

I just came back from a Pride Festival and I have to say it was unique. As usual I got a call asking if I would be interested in helping out at a Pride Festival and as usual I said yes. Then I asked about the details; where, when, what do we need to bring, etc. and I was a little surprised when the answer came back, that it was at a local mental health hospital. Hmm… that’s different. It was to be a Pride Festival for the patients and I didn’t really know what to expect. So I packed everything in the car and off I went this afternoon.

But let me digress for a moment. Because this is my last week of work I had planned to go out to lunch today with the HR Director and a friend, the Outreach was at one and I wouldn’t have time to run home and change. I asked them if they would mind if I came as Diana and they didn’t. So they meet me as Diana for the first time and lunch (It was at a local lobster pound and I had a lobster roll with clam chowder.) went very well, we all had a good time.

At the hospital I signed in and was given directions to the room where the Pride Festival was to be held and I went and set up the table. The patients came drifting in and started to dance to the music provide by a DJ, a few of them from time to time stopped by the table to ask questions. They all seemed to have a good time and the only problem that I had was trying to eat the cake without a fork.

So I was glad that I went and I was glad that my friends from work got to meet me before I leave.

Busy Day Yesterday (and Today)

I took the day off yesterday and today (Its not like they are going to fire me.) to do an Outreach at a college in New Haven and afterward we had a lazy lunch with the professor. By the time I got home it was time to head off to Poughkeepsie New York to hear a book reading by the author of “She’s No the Man I Married”, Helen Boyd. I wanted to get my book autographed and say “Hi” to Helen and Betty. Besides reading from the book she talked about some of the problems being married to a transsexual. I finally got home after midnight and I was gone all day today.

“One of my first moments of Wow, has my life gotten weird happened on Betty’s and my first Valentine Day together. I went to Macy’s to buy her a present. As I traveled up the escalator, bypassing all the women who were shopping in the men’s department for their boyfriends, I momentarily thought of Betty’s face if she opened a clothes box to find a pair of boxer shorts and a tie flashed through my heads. I stayed put on the escalator, I was going to Women’s Lingerie, sixth floor.”
“I’ve been there a few times since. And I’m not quite used to it yet. A friend who was coming out as lesbian told me years ago that when you check “Rubyfruit Jungle” out at the library, the librarian stamps the due date in your book and LESBIAN on your forehead. But buying a handful of panties for Betty – and I mean a handful precisely – causes Macy’s sales clerk to look at my ass. Maybe she was trying to be helpful, but the cogs were turning in her head as she scanned tags – SM, SM, and SM – and again looked at my butt. No jokes can lighten the mood while she’s figuring out whether I’m delusional or a lesbian, and saying “They’re for my husband” wouldn’t help anything at all. I don’t want to know what name she’d ring up for me in the register in her head if I said that.”

“… But still, I feel protective of Betty. I often fell like Thelma, warning Louise’ that waling down to the corner bodega to get a beer in really tight jeans at 2:00 AM really isn’t a good idea. In an essay written for the now-defunct magazine “Anything That’s Moves”, the bisexual girlfriend of a pre-op MtF trans woman mentioned the kind of fear you can experience as the partner of a trans person: She and her girlfriend were waiting at a bus stop when some men only stare at them. She found herself hoping her girlfriend would get her genital surgery soon, because then ‘they’ll only rape her, not murder her.’ And unfortunately, that’s the reality of living with someone who is trans, which is maybe part of the reason I feel I come up short in terms of playing the male role. What can anyone do against that kind of ignorance and hate?” (Helen Boyd, "She is Not the Man I Married", pages 161 - 162, 164)

Everyone thinks we have courage to transition, but the person who has the real courage is the spouse who stays with their partner, because for them they have also to reassess their identity and sexual orientation out of love for the partner. If they are in a straight relationship, they with now be in a lesbian or gay relationship and conversely if they are in a lesbian or gay relationship they will now be perceived to be in a straight relationship.

Manic Monday

Manic Monday: Monday, June 25, 2007

Are you strict about wearing your sunscreen in the summer?
No, if I am going to be out in the sun for an hour, I do not use any. I use sunscreen only if I am going to have a day in the sun.

Do you frequently wear sandals in the summer? Any favorites you'd like to share?
Yes, I wear sandals a lot during the summer; I cannot wear the type of sandals that goes between the toes. They just hurt too much.

What are a few great books that you've taken along to the beach or on vacation in years past? If you aren't a big reader, what do you do to while away the lazy hours?
I will be cured up on the beach with the new Harry Potter book; “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” that is coming out early next month

How do you feel about swimsuit shopping? Love it, hate it, indifferent? What's your color of choice?
Indifferent, I just have your basic one piece bathing suit and the colors that I like are solid red or blue suits.

Nightingale

I just got back from the Hartford Stage Company production of Lynn Redgrave’s play Nightingale. The play was very good; it chronicles her grandmother’s life from when she was a teenager in 1908 until she dies in 1972. I was great to watch Ms. Redgrave portray her grandmother at different ages but using just her posture, voice and lighting.

In the play, Redgrave chronicles her own journey back to her family in England. "I went looking for Beanie's grave and to my dismay found that her name had been washed away by the acid rain. The gravestone was blank." Thus began Redgrave's efforts to fill in the details of her grandmother's story by creating a fictional biography."; I've given her a new name, Mildred. And I've dreamed up a life. A memorial. For no one dies who is remembered." Spanning seventy years, Mildred's story includes the practicalities of marriage and the possibilities of love, sexual innocence and raising a family, emotional imprisonment and, eventually, rescue by a granddaughter who barely knew her.

Earlier in the day we had brunch at the Pond House in Elizabeth Park, the park was having their annual rose festival and the gardens were in full bloom. The park was mobbed I had to park my car in a lot on the other side of the park.

Patrick’s Weekender

Patrick’s Weekender: Saturday Six - Episode 167

1. How far from your home is your nearest fire station?
The volunteer fire department is two miles away.

2. Have you ever made a call to your local 911 service? If so, how long did it take for emergency personnel -- whatever type you needed -- to arrive?
Yes, it took about five minutes for the ambulance to arrive. But a police officer a arrived a minute or two before the ambulance and he had an AED.

3. If you had to choose one of the following, which emergency employee would you want to be: police officer, dispatcher, paramedic, firefighter; and why would you choose that one?
A dispatcher, you do not have to get involved with people first hand. You can be sitting safely in an office.

4. Take the quiz: What firefighter tool are you?

What Firefighter tool are you
Boston Rake you like hooking stuff, moving stuff around for further overhall and extinguishing
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

5. When you were little, did you ever dream of being a first responder?
Of course, I dreamed of being a doctor, a firefighter and a police officer.

6. What is your favorite first-responder-related movie or television show; and how realistically do you think it depicts what they really go through?
Do you remember “Emergency” from the seventies (But then I am prejudice because we made the radios for the show.), it wasn’t very realistic and the acting wasn’t that great.

Friday Fiver

Friday Fiver: The sun goes down alone

1. Have any road trips planned?
Not really, just going up to the family cottage in New Hampshire or visiting my brother in Maine.

2. What is out of your reach?
I do not know until I try it. Sometimes your reach can be amazing.

3. Are you more likely to watch a sunset or the sun rise?
Sunset, sunrises come too early in the morning.

4. What night will you never forget?
The night I ended up in the emergency room.

5. What's the last thing that made you scream?
The frustrating paperwork at work.

The Politics Test

From "what if this is as good as it gets?"

You are a Social Liberal (80% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (16% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist (16e/80s) Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

So was anyone surprised?

New York State Assembly Votes in Favor of Marriage Equality.

Gay Rites Advance in Albany, as Assembly Gives Its Okay

By JACOB GERSHMAN
Staff Reporter of the Sun
June 20, 2007

ALBANY — For gay rights advocates, yesterday's vote in the Assembly to legalize same-sex marriage was a watershed moment to be celebrated. For many lawmakers in the chamber, it was a day of hard political calculations, painful choices, and apprehension.

The Democrat-led Assembly last night voted to 85 to 61 to allow same-sex couples to wed in New York, the first time that a legislative body in the state has approved gay marriage. The vote pushed New York closer to becoming the second state in the nation to legalize gay marriage, after Massachusetts, and the first to do so through a legislative process.

About 80% of Democrats in the body voted in favor of the bill; only four out of 42 Republicans did so.

Slowly the tide is turning in favor of equal right as more northeast states start to realize the by not allowing everyone the to get married is discrimination.
There was also a light side to the debate…

Mr. Hikind, an Orthodox Jew who represents Borough Park in Brooklyn, warned that lawmakers by supporting gay marriage were paving the path toward sanctioning incest. He said he would support gay marriage if God gave him a signal. Moments later, there was a loud crack of thunder, provoking laughter.

I guess that didn’t even sway him because he voted against the bill.

A New Poem

All types of emotion and memories are running through me as I get ready to change my name and go full time or what is called ‘transitioning”. I am both scared and hopeful, so many thoughts are in my head that this poem coalesced and formed.

A Christening

Birth.
Death.
Rebirth.
Phoenix rising.
No! Not from ashes.
On a foundation
On a pedestal
Of stone.
A new chapter
But not
A new name
A new life
But still the same
But a new page
Memories
Still the same
Still me.
But reborn
A crystalis

Getting To Know You

GTKY: Get Your Groove On

Wow! Great question. As a former Hippie and Flower Child all my songs are from the sixties and early seventies; “the Classics”.

Today's GTKY challenge is to share with us some of the songs that make up your memories and a little bit about the memory itself. Or maybe you'll share a certain summer and the music you grooved to while cruising main street on a Friday night. Or the music you danced to at street parties.
There are alot of good writers out there and I can't wait to read your musical memories, so .....

Beach Boys (California Girls)
Beatles (Let It Be)
Bob Seger (Turn The Page)
Bruce Springsteen (Born To Run)
Chicago (I’m a Man)
Cream (White Room)
Credence Clearwater Revival (Badmoon Rising)
Doobie Brothers (China Grove)
Eric Clapton (Layla)
Foreigner (Waiting For A Girl Like You)
Grateful Dead (Trunkin’)
Kinks (Lola)
Led Zeplin (Stairway To Heaven)
Melissa Etheridge (Come To My Window)
Momma's And The Pappa's (California Dreamin)
Moody Blues (Knights In White Satin)
Pat Benatar (Hit Me With Your Best Shot)
Pink Floyd (Dark Side of the Moon)
Pure Prairie League (Amie)
Queen (We Will Rock You)
Steppeinwolf (Born to be Wild)
Steve Miller (Fly Like An Eagle)
Styx (The Grand Illusion)
The Doors (Riders On The Storm)
The Rolling Stones (Paint It, Black)

These are only a small percentage of the songs that I grew up listening. They bring back both good and bad memories, memories of crusin’ Mc Donald’s, eight tracks, Vietnam and the draft, “Sex, Drugs and Rock an’ Roll”.

I remember the first time I heard “Lola”. It was a summer day and I was washing the family car, I heard the lyrics “Girls will be boys and boys will be girls”, I was stunned and I sat down the grass listening to the rest of the song. It was the first time I realized that I was not alone.

“I met her in a club down in old soho
Where you drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry-cola
C-o-l-a cola
She walked up to me and she asked me to dance
I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said lola
L-o-l-a lola lo-lo-lo-lo lola”…

“Lo-lo-lo-lo lola
Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
Its a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for lola
Lo-lo-lo-lo lola”

Chicago’s “I’m a Man” brings back sadder memories; even though I was dancing and singing the song when we had patries, I remember that somehow the song just didn’t feel right to me. It felt like a lie.

But then other songs bring back memories of pot smoke full dorm rooms. Laying on floor tripping and smoking pot in a blacklight lit room on a Saturday night listen to Pink Floyd, Led Zeplin, The Rolling Stones, Cream, The Doors and Jimmie Hindrix’s “Purple Haze”. Watching the Sunrise on a Sunday morning. Watching the snow flakes melting. Staring at the footprints in the snow, one side illuminated by the blue Mercury vapor lights and the other side lit by the yellow sodium vapor lights.
Here is a poem that I wrote four or five years ago about my memories…..

Memories
I look up, clutching my mother’s dress.
The big lady says “My aren’t you a pretty young lady”
I am not! I am a boy!
Click.
I look up, clutching my mother’s dress.
The big lady says, “I bet you were wishing for a girl.”
Click.
Big brother says, “Mommy wanted a girl. And she got you instead!”
Click.
A big closet with all nice little dresses.
Click.
You can’t play any more with the little girl down the street.
Why not?
Because, we say so Davy.
Click.
Howdy Dowdy Puppet
Ha, ha. You got a doll for Christmas.
It’s not a doll! Throwing it away in the bushes.
Click.
Sister Mary Ellen says we all have to wear a skirt and high heel shoes.
It’s only for Freshman Initiation.
My, don’t you look pretty.
Click.
Davy, I have to go out. You don’t mind being left alone?
Run to the bedroom open the closet.
My don’t I look pretty.
Click
Oh my God! It’s my brother.
Run to the bedroom.
What are you doing in bed in the middle of the day?
Click.
Washing the car. On the radio, “It’s a mixed up shook up world.” Huh?
Click.
Slide ruler. Diff-E-Que. Maxwell Equations.
Beard, long hair, old army jacket. Here man try some of this, it’s dy-omite.
Clllliiiiiick.
Backpacking, skiing, fishing, scuba diving. I’m a man.
Click.
Renee Richards.
What Sex am I?
Jan Morris.
Click.
We’re getting Internet connections for everyone here at the office.
Let’s see, search for transformers and inductors.
What’s this? Transsexuals?
I got to get me one of these computers for home.
Click.
Melanie Phillips, Lynn LeFevre, Becky Allison, MD., Dr Anne
Lawrence.
Click.
COS
Click
Meetings. Banquet. Picnics, Fantasia Fair. First Event.
New friends. Walking down a street. Restaurants.
Rain on my stockings.
Laughing…

Father’s Day

I have read blogs of friends and blogs of other transpeople today and those with children all have a common theme in them yesterday. I am not a parent so I cannot comment on this first hand, but I feel that the subject deserves to be address.
Many in our community are parents and two of the hardest days I think for them are Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. It is hard on them and on their children. Many in our community have been denied all contact with their children once they came out as transgendered, they have either been cut off from their children by the courts or their children have broken off contact with them.
If they are one of the lucky one who still see their kids and are part of their lives, it is still isn’t easy. It is hard when trans-woman goes out to eat with her child on Father’s Day or a trans-man goes out with his child on Mother’s Day, it is hard on the parent and child, its hard all around.
Their must be an empty spot in their heart that I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels.
It’s hard being trans….

How Real Are You?

You Are 91% Real

There's hardly a person on this earth more real than you are. You have no problem showing people who you are, flaws and all. For you, there couldn't be any other way. Because it's way too stressful to live an inauthentic life. You're very comfortable with yourself. And because of this, you're able to live an exciting, interesting, and challenging life.

How Real Are You?

Manic Monday

Manic Monday: Monday, June 18, 2007

Do you listen to music regularly? What's your favorite way to listen-- radio, CD, iPod...?
I listen to music mostly in the car; on short trip I listen to the radio and on long trips to the MP3 player. I found that when you set the selections to Random you can listen for hours without a repeat.

When listening to music do you tend to focus more on the lyrics or the melody?
I focus on the lyrics, but it also depends on the song

If you had to pick a theme song to sum up your life right now, what would it be?
Judy Collin’s “Both Sides Now”
I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Tagged

The Cat at Sweet Memes reads me, and she tagged me.

If tagged, and you accept, these are the rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.


Here are my EIGHT RANDOMNITIES (new word, eh?):

1. I love to smell of the air after a thunderstorm. The air smells so clean and cool right afterwards.
2. I hate Chinese food; actually it is all Asian foods. I just do not like the spices that they use.
3. I hate cleaning the house. I am a binge cleaner, I get discussed and then I clean the house or I have a party There is nothing better then having a party to get me to clean the house.
4. I am a worrier (No surprise there.)
5. Someday I would like to travel out west again. Fly out to Denver and drive out to San Francisco.
6. I have visited 37 states.
7. I love going out to dinner and a play
8. I am shy

Now I am suppose to tagged eight other bloggers; well I am going to break the rules and not tag anyone. I do not mind being tagged; I just don’t like to tag anyone else. See my answer number 8.

Patrick Weekender

Saturday Six - Episode 166

1. Have you ever talked to your doctor about stress levels in your life?
Yes, I have and there is not that much that can be done to relieve the stress. See my post entitled “Do You Think I Am Stressed Out?”

2. How likely are you to “let go” of something that stresses you out?
Very unlikely.

3. Does your family or your work cause the most stress in your life? Do you think your family members or co-workers realize how much stress they generate?
The stress is generated by the lay-off and my transitioning which is happening at the same time.

4. Take the quiz: Will You Live to 100?

Chance You'll Live to 100: 36%

Okay, so living until you're 100 is a long shot... But who knows how good medicine will get in the future. Take a little better care of your body, and you'll might actually see the triple digits.

Will You Live to 100?

5. When you think that you are at the breaking point, are you more likely to have an angry blow-up, a self-contained meltdown, or something in between? When was the last time you had such a moment?
A self-contained meltdown. Once again see my post “Do You Think I Am Stressed Out?”

6. When you’re stressed out, what is the first clue someone who knows you well is likely to pick up on?
I am not my usual cheery self, I am quite and withdrawn.

Coming Out to My Aunt

I have been working on a plan to come out to my aunt; one of the suggestions was to give her a picture of myself. So I had a friend last night take some photos of me and I chose this picture.

Friday Fiver

Trying to fit a rectangle into a ball.

1. When do you doubt yourself?
All the time.

2. Who do you owe an apology?
No one, if I have something to apologize over, I apologize.

3. When is the last time you felt embarrassed?
Too often to keep track of. That is why my forehead is so flat; from banging my head against the wall. ;-)

4. What do you ignore?
The supervisor from the other department when she butts in on my department.

5. Do you love yourself?
Do you mean autogynephilia? If that’s what you mean, then the answer is no. But if you mean do I have a positive attitude about myself then yes.

Senate Testimony on SB1044

I apologize for the long post, but I felt it is important to see what some of the concerns were for the bill and how they were addressed. Even though I believe that their concerns are groundless we must address them for in their minds they are valid points of concern. We must show them that their fears are without basis this law has been in effect in numerous states and municipalities since 1975 the first city to do so was Minneapolis, MN and the first state was Minnesota in 1993. You will find that none of these states or municipalities have had any problems with teachers or students.

Here are excerpts from the testimony on SB1044, you can read the complete testimony here, and then use “Find” 1044 to get to the testimony on the bill.

The senators…
Senator McDonald (D) sponsored the bill in the Senate and is the Co-Chair of the Judicial Committee.
Senator Cappiello (R) was one of the sponsors who sponsored an amendment to exclude teachers from the bill.
Senator Kissel (R) is the ranking minority member on the Judicial Committee.

…SEN. CAPPIELLO:

Thank you, Mr. President. If I may, through you, I have a few questions to Senator McDonald.

THE CHAIR:

Please proceed, Sir.

SEN. CAPPIELLO:

Thank you, Mr. President. Senator McDonald, first of all, I would like to say I completely understand and appreciate the intent of this bill and, in most circumstances, would support it fully. But I do have one concern, and that's where my questions will lie.

Through you, Mr. President, if a school teacher in the second grade decides, for whatever reason, whether they are confused, whether they have an intention on changing genders, or they would just like to express themselves in a different manner, can someone, say, Mr. Jones, come into class and choose to dress like a woman? And would that be protected under this bill?

THE CHAIR:

Senator McDonald.

SEN. MCDONALD:

Well, through you, Mr. President, I guess I would at first take issue with some of the choice of words by Senator Cappiello. I don't believe that this is a confusion issue at all. As I indicated in my initial comments, this is an issue that goes to the heart of how an individual understands their life to be.

It's not a matter of confusion at all. It's a core element of their being. But having taken issue with the confusion component of Senator Cappiello's question, let me say that the issue of a school teacher in an elementary setting, or in any setting, is one that we considered.

And I would answer the question in this way. A teacher, or any individual who is in this circumstance, doesn't do anything precipitously or in a cavalier manner. In fact, it is a gut-wrenching process.

And oftentimes, these individuals have to deal with an incredibly complicated set of circumstances, factual, professional, personal, and emotional. And oftentimes, Mr. President, this issue is a life or death issue for transgendered individuals.

In fact, some individuals have only come to this conclusion that they must go through gender reassignment surgery in order to avoid suicide.

So I think it's important to understand that this is a much deeper issue than a choice. It is a much more profound issue than a choice.

And I think, as I said in the Education Committee, the issue of a teacher who is going through this circumstance would have clearly not only taken into consideration his or her personal life and his or her family life but his or her professional life as well.

This is not something that you do when you leave on a Friday and come back on a Monday. In fact, gender reassignment surgery often takes weeks and weeks, if not months, for recovery.

So in the circumstance of a teacher, one would expect that such an individual would be out of the classroom environment for weeks and weeks, if not months.

Having said that, I also said in the Education Committee that it is a medical condition, as I've stated. And I compared it to any other medical condition that a teacher might find him or herself involved with.

And I said, what would we do for a child when the teacher was suffering from cancer and had to have chemotherapy treatments and came back to school without any hair? Would that prove disturbing to a child? Yes, it might.

But we would use that as an opportunity to educate children, not to engender discriminatory notions about individuals who are suffering from cancer.

We would also do the same if a teacher happened to be involved in a car accident and had an arm amputated and was fitted with a prosthesis, perhaps a mechanical one with a mechanical hand. Would a child find that circumstance disturbing? Perhaps. But it was a medical condition that needed to be addressed.

And we would use that as a moment to educate a child. And the fact is that we have students in this state who suffer from gender dysphoria as well. And I am very cognizant of the fact that they suffer discrimination.

I suspect we wouldn't tell those students that they shouldn't be in classrooms because of their core identity. So the answer to Senator Cappiello's question is, in short form, notwithstanding my lengthy answer, is that a teacher would fall within the protections of this bill and its language.

THE CHAIR:

Senator Cappiello, you have the floor.

SEN. CAPPIELLO:

Thank you, Mr. President. Another question, through you, to Senator McDonald, if I may.

THE CHAIR:

Please proceed.

SEN. CAPPIELLO:

And let me back up a little bit. First, I would like to say that on Committee, when I voted against this bill, I expressed then, as I express today, my complete empathy for someone who is going through this because, obviously, this is a very, very difficult decision to make.

And someone who is going through this must be suffering a great deal because of a change that they would like to make. So I do empathize on that issue. But let me back up and get to the specifics of this bill, if I may, through you, Mr. President.

We're adding a definition with regards to gender identity or expression. So, through you, Mr. President, would that include an individual who would not choose to go through a gender change but maybe wishes to dress like the opposite sex?

THE CHAIR:

Senator McDonald, do you care to respond?

SEN. MCDONALD:

I will, Mr. President. And the short answer to Senator Cappiello's question is if that individual self-identifies as having an identity other than the one with which that individual was born, it would fall within the definition of gender identity or expression.

And I should also hasten to add, Mr. President, that under the guidelines from the American Psychiatric Association, an individual identified with gender dysphoria actually is required to live as the self-identified gender, I believe, for up to a year before they will be permitted to have the gender reassignment surgery.

So in effect, because of their mental health condition, they would be required to dress in a somewhat different fashion than their conforming gender identity might otherwise require….

…THE CHAIR:

Senator Cappiello.

SEN. CAPPIELLO:

Thank you, and through you, Mr. President, to Senator McDonald, are there not a number of people in this world who choose not to, and have no desire to, go through a sex change, but they choose to dress like the opposite sex.

And an example I will give is many years ago, some of you may remember, there was an individual who was in a position of authority in New Haven who chose, at night, we found out through unfortunate news accounts that it was a person who, I believe, was on the board of education or was superintendent in New Haven, who just chose to dress as a woman because they enjoyed to. And, again, that's a person's choice, but I would like to know if that would be included in this bill.

THE CHAIR:

Senator McDonald.

SEN. MCDONALD:

Through you, Mr. President, I'm not certain there's a new question there. I think, if Senator Cappiello is suggesting that this is an issue that is one that is addressing cross-dressing, I don't think that's within the scope of this at all.

This goes to a deeply held belief of how an individual identifies themselves as a human being. And, you know, I also have to say, Mr. President, that no one, in rational thought, no one would ever suggest that someone would dress in a manner that is not one traditionally associated with their assigned gender because it was fun or because it was easy.

These individuals suffer incredible, incredible ridicule, scorn, mockery, disdain, and discrimination. And under this bill, we would not engraft that ridicule, scorn, mockery, and discrimination into our statutes.

….SEN. KISSEL:

Thank you so very much, Mr. President. I'd like to commend Senator McDonald for bringing this bill forward. Over the last several years, we've had transgender folks come before our public hearings, on the Judiciary Committee, on any number of matters.

And I have to say that I admire their courage for coming into the public forum and asserting their rights or asking for expansion of the law to further protect their rights in the way that we set out, that a democratic society sets out.

And the hearings have exemplified, really clearly, the painful nature of the situation that many of these folks are going through.

God bless the individual that may have been struggling with their gender identity, and they've finally figured it out, and they've made a transition. And there are some folks that have made the transition and are very comfortable with that.

But they articulated the difficulties that they had when they were struggling with not feeling right about themselves, and some folks, that I would call women now, were happily married men at some other point in their lives, but they knew that something wasn't quite right, and so they made that transition.

Some folks were in the middle of that transition when they came and spoke to us. But at the root of so many of these stories were the public, no, I wouldn't say the entire public, without a doubt, but a small segment of the public's inability to be sensitive to these issue and, certainly, a very small, very small group of individuals that were mean-spirited and intolerant.

And I'm a live-and-let-live kind of person, and I think the State of Connecticut is a live-and-let-live state. Sort of been our nature for hundreds of years. Maybe that's why the rest of the nation looks at New England and calls us liberal. I don't call being tolerant liberal.

I call being tolerant being tolerant, being sensitive and understanding that we are all different. We can categorize each other, but we are all fundamentally different, all God's creatures, whether you believe in God or not, and that's your right too.

I find it abhorrent that we would set up a construct where individuals would be discriminated against because they had gender dysphoria, I think, is the correct terminology. They were unsure of themselves.

And we had clear public testimony that an individual, a good worker at his company, went through this and, bam, was fired. That's wrong. I don't care how you cut it. That's wrong.

There was nothing, that individual could not point to anything that he, and that's a tough one, now she, did on the job to merit being fired.

So he knew what it was all about. He went, unfortunately, one of the big lessons here is, and I hope anybody watching at home that might be, or reading the record, one of the lessons that was clear during the public hearings was do not settle quickly with your employer if you feel you've been the victim of this because you do have rights.

And unfortunately, a lot of these folks, they're so intimated, and they're so nervous about having to go through this transgender change, that they just sign on the dotted line because they need to pay the monthly bills. That was a horrible thing.

I mean, not only did the businesses fire these individuals, but then they quickly sent out their attorneys to get them to sign an agreement, to sign away whatever rights they may have had. That was abhorrent to me too.

I believe, in the State of Connecticut, the vast majority of corporations are sensitive to these issues, and they reach out to their employees, and that there's a deep well of respect and tolerance in our state.

But unfortunately, this is an area where we need to put this law on the books so that people that are struggling with this, and I agree with Senator McDonald, one would not go through with this lightly, but so that people who are struggling with this really have their rights protected.

And with your indulgence, I'll just leave you with this one thing. The other evening, I was watching one of my favorite programs, Law and Order. And the particular episode that I saw had to exactly with a transgender individual.

And it was a woman, a man who felt that they should be a woman, and had gone through the hormone treatment and everything else but hadn't gone through the final surgical proceeding and was lashed out at an individual for attacking them and was then put on trial herself, even though hadn't gone through the surgeon.

But in every other sense of the word, if you looked at the program, you would say this individual was a woman. And the whole issue had to do with, in New York, where, upon conviction, would that individual be housed?

And it had a very sad and horrible ending, where the woman, in every sense of the term, was sent to the men's prison and was beaten upon horribly.

And I haven't even gotten to this issue in this year's Legislature, when that program aired, but it makes you think, in so many areas of our society, society is moving so rapidly, in so many ways, the institutions that we've created have to catch up.

But I think that we have it within ourselves, and I actually believe our young people have the greatest capacity to accommodate change. I always have this conversation with my children, especially my son, Nathaniel, because his whole notion is change is good.

I can see, as I'm getting older, like when things change, I'm driving down the street, and something has been torn down and built up, the hardest thing to deal with is change is constant. We can never hold onto anything.

If something has been good, appreciate it because you can wake up tomorrow, and, boom, it's changed. But young people, they love change. Change is good because they're constantly changing. They're growing. Every new day brings something new.

So their view of it is different. So maybe when it comes to things like transgender and individual's rights and things like that, we need to think more like our children, and for some of us in this Circle, our children's children.

So there may be these issues. I think the law has been drafted in a way, narrowly tailored to acknowledge the rights of religious institutions, as we do with so many of our other discrimination statutes.

But in this instance, the testimony that we've heard at the public hearing for the last few years has made it very clear to me that this is a group of individuals in our state that deserves every amount of respect and dignity and rights as each and every one of us in this Circle. And that's why I strongly support this bill before us. Thank you, Mr. President...

And in the end the vote was almost unanimous, it was 30 Yeas, 4 Nays and 2 Absent. One of the Nays was Senator Cappiello.

Do You Think I’m Stressed Out?

Let’s see now… I am getting laid off from work, going to be changing my name; I’m going to begin my transition and will be going full time which means coming out to the neighbors. Oh, I will also have to tell my aunt about myself and I will also have to tell my aunt about myself and I will also have to tell my aunt about myself….
Na! I don’t think I am, just because I am not sleeping at night and I feel all wound up ready to strike. I don’t think I am stressed out.
So I think I am going to take a half day at work today; go home sit out on the deck, read and decompress.

Getting To Know You

GETTING TO KNOW YOU - IT'S A BLOGGY, BLOGGY WORLD!

When did you begin your first blog and what inspired you to do so?
Well it wasn’t a blog because they didn’t have blogs when I first started my Geocities web-site in 2000. I started my web-site in hopes of educating other transgendered people to show that it is possible to have a life, to be able to go out public
I started my blog in April 2006 because I wanted a wider audience, not just trans-people but also non-trans as well. The mission was still the same; to educate. Also the blog allowed me to have comments while the web-site didn’t.

Do you have more than one blog? Why? How are they different?No just the one, its enough.

How would you characterize your blog?Creative – 20%
Political – 20%
Informational – 40% (Mainly about trans-life)
Community-oriented – 20% (Over laps with Informative.)
Or something else?
I try to keep it balanced and not harp too much on trans-stuff or politics but to keep it light and entertaining.

To paraphrase Oprah, what is "one thing you know for sure" about blogging?
You can meet a lot of interesting people who blog

Is it important to you to get feedback in terms of comments or pings? Why or why not?
Very important; 1) it lets me know I am being read, 2) it lets me know which entries attract readers, 3) it lets other people express their views.

What 3 blogs would you recommend to our readers and why?
I am going to cheat and name four:
Lisa’s Fleur de Lisa – it is interesting entries and has great photographs

Cat’s Sweet Memes – she is the Queen of Memes

Peterson’s A Musing – a lot of interesting entries on being Ex-ex-gay and being a Christian gay man

Helen’s (en)Gendered – she writes about what it is like to be married to someone who is transgendered and about being a Feminist. She is also an author of two great books one about her husband and the other that I am reading now about herself and other trans-wives.

Another Step, Another Coming Out

On Friday I asked the nursing home administrator for a meeting with her and the social worker on Monday, I showed her my Carry Letter (It is a letter from my psychologist saying that I am a transsexual; otherwise know as “Get Out of Jail Free” letter.) and asked that on Monday I wanted meet to develop a plan on telling my aunt. My aunt has symptoms of the early stages of Alzheimer's disease, she still has her long term memory but her short term memory is going. If you have seen the movie “Fifty First Dates” I think it will be something like that, only in my case Fifty ‘Coming Outs’, every time I visit her I will have to explain it to her.
The meeting yesterday went very well, they said that they wanted to help in making this as easy as possible for the both of us and they wanted to know what they could do to help. They let me know that they would talk to the staff and let them know about my transition.
The meeting was made easier because it turned out that the administrator’s daughter went to college and her English professor was Jennifer Boylan the author of “She’s Not There: A Life in Two Genders” and her daughter raved about how good of a teacher she is. The administrator also saw Ms. Boylan around the campus when she visited her daughter and she also read her book. So the administrator had some exposure to the trans-community which made it easier to talk to her.
So I feeling that the meeting was both positive and productive.

Manic Monday

Manic Monday for June 11, 2007

What celebrity crushes did you have when you were growing up?Annette Funicello – Just in case you do not know who she is here is a link to Wikipedia

What cartoon character best describes you?
I would guess Donald Duck, he seems to get flustered easily but some how he always works his way out of the misadventures.

Complete this statement “I recommend…” (it can be a TV show, book, movie, website, activity, restaurant, etc.)
I recommend no TV Shows, I don’t think I can recommend any shows.
I recommend the book that I am reading right now is good: “She is Not the Man I Married” by Helen Boyd and of course the new Harry Potter, “Deathly Hallows” book when it comes out.
I recommend the two movies that I wrote about in previous blogs – “Nina” and “Another Woman”
I recommend two restaurants; in Middletown, Tuscany’s and in Hartford, Coyote Flaco

Politics, politics, politics…

This was in the New Haven Register and it helps to explains the backroom politics behind the Anti-Discrimination bill.

New Haven Register, CT, USA

How Good Bills Die Unnatural Deaths

Gregory B. Hladky, Capitol Bureau Chief

06/11/2007

During the chaotic final hours of General Assembly's 2007 regular session, a bill calling for more openness in Connecticut's court system died in the House. Meanwhile, a "cyber stalking" measure designed to prevent sexual predators from using the Internet to troll for young victims expired without a vote in the Senate.

The superficial explanation for the legislature's failure to pass those bills is that lawmakers ran out of time....

....The story of the demise of the cyber stalking bill is equally convoluted and involved a threatened GOP filibuster over the rights of transgender people.

The House passed the cyber stalking measure in late May and sent it to the Senate for action. The Senate also passed a bill to guarantee people who change their genders the same protections against job discrimination and other abuses that other minorities have.

But when the transgender rights bill came up in the House, Republican lawmakers opposed to the measure triggered a debate that lasted for hours, ending only when Democratic leaders withdrew the bill.

The failure of House lawmakers to take a vote on the transgender bill angered state Sen. Andrew McDonald, D-Stamford, the co-chairman of the legislature's Judiciary Committee. So McDonald put the cyber stalking bill on hold until the House acted on the transgender rights legislation.

That never happened, and so both bills died. And it was the poor old clock that got the blame.

As I wrote before, Politics at its Worst or how a small hand full of politicians can holdup important legislation for their own pet projects. So two good bills didn’t get passed because of three Representatives who did not want us to be treated equally and be able to work and live our lives. Was McDonald right in holding up the Cyber Stalking bill to use as leverage? I cannot answer because I am biased, but I will say that I would have liked to see both the bills passed.

Saturday Six - Episode 165

Patrick’s Weekender

1. What do you consider more important to your long-term happiness: your relationships, your location, your career or your dreams?
For me it is a toss up between relationships and dreams, but relationships wins out by a slim margin. I think that relationships can last a lifetime and can get you through the hard times as well as the good times

2. Other than a significant other, how many people do you feel you can truly turn to for advice?
My brother, his wife and my cousin. Out side of family one other person.

3. Of the people you think know you best, how surprised would you think they would be if they knew “everything” there is to know about you?
LOL – since I have just come out to most of them, I can say that they were very surprise when I told them about myself.

4. Take the quiz: Are you living the wrong life?

Your Life is 27% Off Track

In general, your life is going very well. You're quite happy with where you are and what you're doing. And even if you get a bit off course, you're usually able to get back on track easily.

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

5. What is the longest you’ve stayed in a job you weren’t happy in?
Twenty-nine years! But in all honesty the first twenty-five years were good; it was only after we got bought out by a large international company that things went downhill.

6. What single factor made you stay the most?
Habit, good friends at work, close to home, the pay was good and I knew every aspect of my job so it became very comfortable; like an old shoe.

Sexism

I noticed something at work, I deal with a lot of vendors at work and when I have told them that I am retiring and that the plant is shutting down, I get two different responses. From the men their reply is almost most of the time; “Great you can be out on the links every day.” and from the women they reply with, “So what are your plans?”

Speaking of sexism, has any one else noticed that an ad for a bed is sexist? This national brand of bedding has people who lay down on their bed falling asleep as soon as they sit the bed. Well the woman dreams of a beauty pageant and the man dreams of work.

Friday Fiver

Friday Fiver: We're simply mad

1. Are you attracted to the naughty or the nice?
Nice, I am attracted to someone who is nice but has a little bit of naughty in them; that little twinkle in their eye.

2. Do you let your dirty laundry pile up?
I refuse to answer on the grounds it might incriminate me.

3. What's the last excuse you made?
I don’t like to make excuses, if you fucked up you should admit it. Otherwise someday it will come back and bite you. Also I think it shows character by admitting your mistakes.

4. Do you play it safe or do you take risks?
I play it safe. The only thing I take a risk with is the stock market.

5. Friday fill-in: Let's go to ____ and ____.
Let’s go to the beach and soak up some rays.

Only Twenty-two More Days Until My Retirement

Not like I am counting or anything like that.
I just got my name change form from the Probate Court web-site. All I have to do is full out the form and pay $150. The form is quite simple; old name and address, new name and swear that you are not changing your name for fraudulent reasons. Then they put a legal notice in the newspaper for one week (I am a little nervous about that, someone from work might see it if they read the legal notices), after that you see the judge and it’s done.
That is the easy part, and then fun part (sic) is going around to the Social Security office, motor vehicle office, town hall to change my property deeds (both here and in New Hampshire), insurance form (Hmmm… I wonder is my insurances rates will go down now that I will have an “F” on my drivers license?), banks, etc. And it has to be done in a certain order; the motor vehicle office needs to see your Social Security card and the banks need to see your driver license. It is a good thing that I will be retired because it is going to take awhile to get everything done.
Luckily, in Connecticut I can change my gender marker on my driver license at the same time as I change my name as long as I have my letter from my psychologist.

Getting To Know You

Getting To Know You: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

Where were you in 1987? In school? Working? Single? Married? Attached? What was important to you? What were you doing creatively? Tell us a bit about your life then. I realize some of you were children then...all the better!
I was working for the same company for the past nine years and I was in my lost years. I wasn’t doing anything except sitting around reading science fiction, smoking pot and crossdressing in secret.

Where were you in 1997? What would you like to share about the nineties?
I was working for the same company for the past nineteen years and I was in my lost years. I wasn’t doing anything except sitting around reading science fiction, smoking pot and crossdressing in secret.

Where did you plan to be or think you'd be in 2007? Have your realized your goals? What is one thing about your present life you love and one you'd like to change?
I do not think I really had a plan, it just happened. I have been working for the same company for the past twenty-nine years and as a supervisor of an electronic testing department for twenty-seven of those years. But in 2000 I had a heart problem and that night in the emergency room I decided life was too short and I came “out of the closet” and I never looked back. I am the Director of a support group, on the Board of Directors of a Trans advocacy organization, I do volunteer work at a GLBT youth conference and for a Trans Health conference at University of Connecticut, I am part of a coalition for the passage of the Anti-Discrimination law for Gender Identity and Expression and I went to Washington DC to lobby for the bills there. And somehow I found time to start on my Masters of Social Work at UConn.
Oh, also in July I am retiring and beginning my transition.


How do you see your life in 2017? Do you have any goals or dreams for your future?
In 2017, I want to have graduated with my Master degree in Social Work, I want to be lobbying to improve the lives of transpersons and to help end discrimination against us.
My goal in life is simple; I want to improve the lives of the next generation of transpeople.

Hartford Gay and Lesbian Film Festival

Last night I went to the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Film Festival again to watch two Trans movies; Transparents and Another Woman. The first movie was a documentary on Female to Male transsexuals, it was so, so; mainly because of the quality of the DVD. The other movie was great! I rated the movie “5” on the little score cards that they give you for each movie. I found the movie to reflex the lives of the transgendered very accurately and the pain and confusion that we go through. One of the lines that stands out is when the wife asks her why she didn’t tell her before she left her. Lea responds “Because I was afraid.” How very true that statement is, those of you who read my blog regularly know how much I am afraid of losing family and friends.
If you see this movie showing at a local arts cinema or film festival go and watch it, it is well worth the time. I am looking for the DVD of it but so far I have had no luck find on here.

Another Woman
Une Autre Femme

France, 2004, 106 Minute Running Time
Genre/Subjects: Drama, Gender, Male-to-Female, Parenting / Family, Transgender
Language: French English Sub-Titles

DIRECTOR: Jerome Foulon

French actress Nathalie Mann is captivating as a woman with the ovarios and heart to reconnect with the family she abandoned a decade ago when she was a miserable man. Can this MTF doctor heal old emotional scars without causing new ones? And what does she do with her own relentless paternal love?
Desperately unhappy, Nicolas left his wife and kids to discover his true nature and never returned. Living under the radar in Geneva, he painstakingly transformed into Léa. Three years after her final surgery, this new woman has the chance to return home to Paris on a work assignment. Reluctant and terrified to face her past, she is nonetheless drawn into the lives of her children.
After concocting a ruse to befriend her daughter Emmy, a budding classical pianist, Léa is suddenly back in her old home meeting her son Lucas, her “widow” Anne and the new man of the house, Pierre. Overwhelmed trying to juggle the truth, Léa eventually comes out to a shocked Anne and declares her intention to claim her paternal rights. Tenuous new connections break as the confused and scared family closes ranks against the intruder.
Legal hassles force Léa to start a more authentic life in Paris, but young Lucas stays curious about her, hoping to find the father he never knew. This inspiring film is a must see for anyone seeking a whole and integrated life. — CAROL HARADA

Manic Monday

Manic Monday

1. How do you learn best? Watch and learn? Participation? Reading directions or technical manuals?
I learn by doing, mostly by trail and error. More error than trail

2. Is one of your senses more highly developed than another? If so, which one?
Taste. That is why I am always thinking about going on a diet. But really I think it is my sense of direction, I am very good at knowing where I am. I only got lost once and that was on a cloudy day on Cape Cod.

3. Summer is almost upon us here in the northern hemisphere. What says summer to you?
Drifting off the end of the dock in an inner tube or sitting on the deck drinking ice cold lemonade.

Politics At Its Worst

Last week I wrote about Politics at its best’s well this week I am writing about politics at its worst.
Monday I went up to the Capital to watch the vote in the House. When It came on the floor for a vote three Republicans successfully filibustered the bill by asking the same questions over and over again; does this bill allow men to use the women's bathrooms, does this bill allow a male teachers to come to class dressed as a women, does this bill allow a male student to come to class as a girl and does this mean a man can use a women's shower. They kept on varying the questions but was basic these same questions over again.
Then they added an amendment to allow home schooling and that got objected to on the grounds that it didn't pertain to the bill. They then took a time out to huddle in their respective corners and came back and agreed to table the bill for now. Then they went on to the next bill. After about a three hour debate the bill was tabled.
Connecticut has weird legislative sessions; the odd numbered years they meet only until early May and the even numbered years the meet until June 6th. So this year the legislative session adjourns on Wednesday at midnight so the bill is dead for this session.

Transgender Rights Bill Loses Momentum
June 5, 2007
By COLIN POITRAS, Courant Staff Writer
An effort to give transgender individuals equal protection under the state's anti-discrimination laws got bogged down in debate Monday, leaving the bill's future in doubt with the legislative session scheduled to end at midnight Wednesday.

The proposal had made its way through several legislative committees earlier this year and was approved by the state Senate May 23. But after nearly three hours of House debate Monday afternoon, the bill was set aside, a sign that the legislation is in trouble...

Some Republicans in the House expressed concern about the bill's possible impact on primary schools.

"Our classrooms have to provide the best educational opportunity for our students," said Republican Rep. Kevin Witkos, a police sergeant from Canton. "Do you honestly think young people will be able to concentrate in the classroom if their teacher is dressed in clothing of their opposite sex? I think not."

Witkos said he understood the intent of the bill, but felt it needed more work.

State Rep. Arthur J. O'Neill, R-Southbury, questioned how the provision might be applied in cases where students come to school dressed in clothing of the opposite sex and in cases where a boy might want to play on the school's girls' basketball team.

"Would the school district be obligated to let the student go to school dressed in that way?" O'Neill asked. "Where would the boy shower?"

An amendment that would have allowed elementary school principals to transfer transgender teachers to older student classrooms or to non-classroom positions was discussed but didn't come up for a vote...

To me they showed a complete lack of understanding bordering on transphobia. Their fears that they expressed were totally unfounded, there are already laws that exempt sex segregated facilities from the anti-discrimination status that apply. There are laws that allow sports teams to be segregated and there are laws that allow showers to be segregated. They harped on the fact that a child might transition in school and it would be disruptive, well so are a lot of other things are we going to ban them? If a student has cancer, it might be hard on the other students to deal with that or if a student is gay are we going to send that child home because some of the others children might not like the fact that he is gay.

These three Representatives kept on saying we are not against protecting people with Gender Identity Dysphoria, but didn’t seem that way.

Patrick’s Weekender

Saturday Six - Episode 164


1. When did you last compute the average number of miles to the gallon your car gets?
The mileage is displayed on the dash. A couple of weeks ago I drove to Washington DC, then all the way to Maine and I got 50.1 mpg

2. Do you use regular, midrange or premium octane fuel?
Regular

3. If you had to give up one or the other because of a government-mandated fuel-saving law, would you prefer to go without your car’s air conditioning or automatic transmission?
Why do you have to give up anything? See my answer to question #1, which was with the air conditioning on and with an automatic transmission. I drive a Prius

4. Take the quiz: What muscle car are you?

What kind of Muscle Car are You? (pics)
1968 Chevrolet Camaro Z28 You are a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro Z28. You love your car....your friends love your car and thats whats most important to you! Your car really hauls ass! You feel bad that they aren't making Camaros anymore....but don't worry...cuz you know they'll be back!
Take The Quiz Now!	Quizzes by myYearbook.com

5. Of the cars you have driven and/or owned, which had the worst gas mileage? Did that have any impact on your decision to get rid of it or make plans to get rid of it?
A Ford Focus, yes it did. I thought a four cylinder engine I would get good gas mile mileage link I did with my Escort but I was only getting about eighteen mpg.

6. On a scale of 1 to 10, with ten representing the most, how much will “environmental friendliness” have on your decision to buy your next vehicle?
10! That is why I am on my second Prius, of course good gas mileage is a nice fringe benefit.

Hartford Gay and Lesbian Film Festival

Last night I went to the Hartford Gay and Lesbian Film Festival at Trinity’s Cinestudio and as usual I had a great time. There were five shorts and a feature movie, some were really good and others, well, not so good.

The Frank Anderson
(Dave Perkal, US, 2006, 13 min)
Frank Anderson has man-boobs. Losing his battle against the insurance company to have them reduced, yet winning the super hot woman, starts a man-boob phenomenon. Written by Orit Schwartz. www.thefrankanderson.com

This was one of the movies that I thought was a “not so good” movie. I think it was suppose to be funny and I think it missed it never quite made it. There were funny spots in the movie but overall I didn’t care for the movie.

The Police Box
(Josh Kim, Hong Kong, 2006, 7 min)
A girl writes love letters to a policeman and puts them in a police box on his beat. One day a jealous boy sees her tampering with the box and decides to play a trick on the two.

I think this movie left us scratching our heads trying to figure it out.

Frocks Off - Jamel
(Rosetta Cook, Australia, 2005, 4 min)
Her mother's engagement dress symbolizes both the love and despair of Jamel's life...

I just didn’t see the point off the movie.

Happy Hamptons Holiday Camp for Troubled Couples
(Greg Pak, US, 2005, 7 min)
A man gets the hiccups at a camp for troubled couples… but what secret is he really hiding?

Better, but also missed it mark. Of course I think you can figure out what the problem was, since this is a Gay and Lesbian film festival.

Private Life
(Abbe Robinson, UK, 2006, 16 min)
In 1952 England, Ruth leaves the monotony of her work at a textile mill and secretly takes the train to Manchester, where a secret rendezvous reveals that nothing is quite what it seems.

This one was a lot better. As I watched the movie I was trying to figure out what they were doing with their secret rendezvous but once I figured it out it was a clever little twist.

And that leaves the main feature…

Nina's Heavenly Delights
(Pratibha Parmar, UK, 2006, 94 min)
Prodigal daughter Nina Shah returns home to Scotland after her father's sudden death. When she discovers that her father had secretly entered the family restaurant in the Best of the West Curry Competition, Nina embarks on a personal mission to lead “The New Taj” to a win. Things get complicated however, when she finds herself falling for Lisa, the charismatic young woman who is now part owner of the restaurant. Filmmaker Pratibha Parmar serves up a romantic cinematic feast where Scottish humor meets Bollywood spectacle. www.ninasheavenlydelights.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9qufanA97E


I rated the movie four and a half stars, well worth seeing. Unfortunately it does not seem to be released on a DVD yet, hopefully it will some day.
After the movies they had a reception on the lawn on the Quad. I stayed for a little while talking to friends and I left a little after 11:00.

Thank You

I am so thankful for all the support my family has giving me. There couldn't be a more accepting family.

Thank You

I Got My Thirty Day Notice

I just received my thirty day notice for my lay-off.
Even though I knew it was coming and I am looking forward to retiring I am still a little sad. After all I worked there for over 28 years and I have made a lot of friends, I will miss them. I will miss getting up each morning and knowing what I will be doing that day.
And I am also a little scared about transitioning. It was a goal I looked forward to almost all my life and now that it is within sight I am nervous, all those evil “What ifs”. The biggest “What if” is what if once I change my name and if I have a hard time going full time and I cannot stand all the stares and comments then what?
I know I have crossed many bridges and this will be one more to cross, but I hate burning the bridge behind me.

Friday Fiver

The day Aldous Huxley Died

1. What year were you born?
A long, long time ago… ‘48

2. Who do you like to hug?
Being trans it is very hard to find a woman who is able to love a trans-person.

3. Do you runaway or face your problems?
Both, I have tackled my major issue head on, but there are all the smaller issues that I wish I didn’t have to deal with. Like telling the neighbors both here and up at the cottage or going to the car dealer to have my car serviced.

4. How much cash do you have on you?
Nine dollars

5. Friday fill-in:
I know exactly how to ____.
wiggle both my ears.