Year In Review

Some of the important events in my life for 2006...

January
“I came out to the Human Resources manager. I have known her for over ten years and have worked closely with her on some projects. I have been beating around the bush the last couple of months trying to feel her out on the subject of GLBT. So yesterday I was talking her about going to the Winterfest fund raiser for the Hartford Community Center that it was semi-formal and she said, "Oh do you have a Tux or is it Jacket and Tie?" I started to say, "Tux" when I thought; "Oh hell" now's a good time to get it out. So I told her, put it all out on the table, so to speak. She was very supportive and we talked for over an hour. In the end she wanted to know what the dress was like that I was going to wearing.” (From my geocities web-site)

February
Lobbyist training at the Legislature Office Building (LOB) for the Anti-Discrimination bill that was giving by a whole alphabet of organizations: CCLU, CWEALF, GLAAD, Love Makes A Family, Anti-Defamation League of Connecticut and CTAC that made up the coalition to help back the change in the anti-discrimination statues to include gender and gender expression.
Also in February I was invited to the Board meeting of Connecticut TransAdvocay Coalition.

March
Flew in the company’s corporate jet a Gulfstream IV, real neat! That is the way to fly.

I did something really really stupid today, I accidentally printed out my testimony for the Anti-Discriminations bill on the network printer at work today. And one of my employees read it!
I think I am going to curl up in to a ball and cry..................

I helped out at the True Colors conference as the Presenter’s Liaison (I made sure that they had everything they needed for their seminar).

I was given an Achievement Award at the Connecticut Outreach Society’s Annual Banquet.

April
Started my blog.

May
Went to Ogunquit Maine for a long weekend sponsored by COS and while I was there I went over to my brother’s for dinner. My niece was there with her son and they got to meet me as Diana for the first time. My niece’s son peeking out from behind his mother’s leg said in a small voice; “Somebody new!” and did not recognized me.

June
The Reverend Cannon Clinton Jones died, he was a good friend of the Twenty Club and it’s mentor. I remember him sitting quietly with his legs crossed at the Twenty Club meetings everyone once in while asking a question or two about the topic that we were discussion at the Christ Church Cathedral in Hartford where the Twenty Club use to meet.

I went to the Albany Trans Rights Conference that was sponsored by National Center for Transgender Equality and by National Gay and Lesbian Task Force. The focus of the meeting is how to get passed anti-discrimination legislation to include Gender and Gender Expression in our respective states.

July
I went to work for Ned Lamont’s primary campaign for U.S. Senate against Senator Lieberman

I also went to the NOW fundraiser for Ned Lamont and met the Vice President of NOW

August
Lamont wins primary!

I joined the Advisory Committee on the TransHealth Conference.

September
They announced at work that they are shutting down the factory beginning next year.

October
I came out to my cousins and their kids, they were very accepting.

November
My nephew and his wife meet me as Diana for the first time when they stop by to pick up their car that I was using.

I went to the open house at Uconn School of Social Work.

December
I registered for night classes at Uconn.

I went to my first family function as Diana on Christmas Day

Homeless Youth in America – Part 2

On a friend’s Blog, he has a beautifully written essay on being a parent of a Gay or Lesbian or Transgender child. The essay is called “Can My Gay Child Change?” and it parallels my essay on the homeless, please go and read it.

3x Thursday

::The Year In Review::

1. So, what did you think of 2006? Was it a good year? How so/not?
My life took a turn in 2006; announcing the closing of the factory in 2007 where I have worked for the last 28 years, I made the decision to go back to school and coming out to my cousins.

2. What was the best thing that happened in 2006? What was the worst?
Being accepted by my family and the love we share.

3. What is your forecast for 2007? Got anything big planned?
See Threesome below...

The Thursday Threesome

::Happy New Year!::

Onesome: Happy--New Year to you and yours! ...any plans for this weekend? Dick Clark? Guy Lombardo? Early to bed?
I am having a New Year’s Eve party at my house.

Twosome: New--year, old year. Is this the year you take up skiing? ...or knitting? ...or vacuuming every other day ? Do you have any major project you'd like to tackle? (Sure, 'resolutions' count...)
Yes, going back to college for my Master’s degree, putting an addition to the kitchen and hard wood floors for the living room (I dread doing that, what a disruption that is going to be. Also telling the contractor, “Oh, by the way, I will be coming and going as Diana”.)

Threesome: Year--end chores? Do the lights and decorations come down this weekend? ...or are you already "done with Christmas"?
The tree is down, it was a very ugly tree to begin with (Note to self – next year don’t wait until the last minute to buy a tree.).

FOUR FOR FRIDAY

Q1 - Multitasking: Eighty percent of us claim to be multitaskers, and nearly two-thirds of all multitaskers consider themselves good at it. How about you...are you a multitasker? If so, do you multitask by choice or design?
No, I do not do multitasks that well, the current task usually gets all the attention and the others fall by the wayside. At work it is all multitask and it makes it very hard to complete a task without mistakes, you are always putting out “Fire drills”. Went you come back to a task you have lost your train of thought and it makes it hard to stick to a unified thought process and therefore the work become disjointed.

Q2 - Federal Closings: Yesterday, President George W. Bush declared that Tuesday, January 2, 2007, will be a National Day of Mourning here in the U.S. after the death earlier this week of former U.S. President Gerald Ford. In doing so, President Bush ordered all government agencies and departments to close on Tuesday, except for offices essential to national security. In your opinion, do you think federal employees should have the day off from work because of the death of President Ford?
No they should not shutdown the federal government. It is a waste of time and taxpayer’s money.

Q3 - Who's on First: For the second time in the last 10 days, a powerful storm has dumped major amounts of snow on Denver, Colorado, and Denver International Airport (DIA). Nearly 5,000 airline passengers were stranded at DIA during a 45-hour closure last week, and when the airport reopened, many of those stranded passengers found themselves waiting even longer to board planes because new passengers arriving at the airport were given preference for flights. Do you think grounded passengers should be first in line for the first available flights, or is it okay for new passengers booked on new flights to have preference over grounded passengers?
The seats should be giving to those whose flights were delayed or cancelled first.

Q4 - Calendar: Do you have a 2007 calendar? If so, is it the kind with pictures on one side and the previous month on the backside, or is it a desk calendar, sans pictures? If a picture calendar, what is its theme? If you do not have a 2007 calendar, do you plan to buy one or are you not the calendar type?
Yes I do have a 2007 calendar with pictures of New England lighthouses.

Good Friends, Good Food, What more Could Ask For?

I went out to dinner at Tuscany’s Grill and Restaurant with four other friends last night before the COS support group meeting and I had Shrimp Wrapped in Proscuitto, gulf shrimp sautéed in a garlic butter sauce with Italian sharp cheese. I like going out to dinner with friends, it is a nice relaxing way to spend the evening. Of course it tends to be expensive and you do gain weight, so once or twice a month is good for the soul.

Homeless Youth in America

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force just released their Whitepaper on homeless GLBT youth in the United States. Some of their findings are...

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates that the number of homeless and runaway youth ranges from 575,000 to 1.6 million per year.1 And, according to the National Runaway Switchboard, up to 42 percent identify as lesbian or gay....

...Family conflict is the primary cause of homelessness for all youth, LGBT or straight.
Specifically, familial conflict over a youth’s sexual orientation or gender identity is a significant factor that leads to homelessness or the need for out-of-home care.3 According to one study, 50 percent of gay teens experienced a negative reaction from their parents when they came out and 26 percent were kicked out of their homes.4
Another study found that more than one-third of youth who are homeless or in the care of social services experienced a violent physical assault when they came out,5 which can lead to youth leaving a shelter or foster home because they actually feel safer on the streets....

...Transgender youth are disproportionately represented in the homeless population. More generally, some reports indicate that one in five transgender individuals need or are at risk of needing homeless shelter assistance.21 However, most shelters are segregated by birth sex, regardless of the individual’s gender identity,22 and homeless transgender youth are even ostracized by some agencies that serve their LGB peers.23...

The full report is 192 pages long, and in it they describe the risk factors that the homeless youth face, drugs, alcohol, prostitution, diseases (AIDS/HIV), violence and crime. We have to stop the hate, stop the bigotry and stop homophobic rhetoric. We have to realize that everyone is different and accept those differences in all of us, that through diversity is strength.
If your son or daughter came to you and told you that they were gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender what would you do? Would you still love them or would you throw them out on the streets. If a neighbor’s child came out as gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender what would you do? If you were at a restaurant and a transsexual came in to the restaurant and sat down at the table next to you, what would you do? In this time of peace and goodwill, let us ask ourselves, “Do we accept all of God children”. Look into to your heart for the answer.

Lost in My Little Own World

Over Christmas my cousin gave me a calendar of family photographs and one of the pictures in it was of me taking a photograph when we were at their cottage in Blue Hill ME this October. While I was taking pictures, I saw my cousin taking pictures of me taking pictures. Here is the result...



And here is the picture that I was taking at that time...

Best Christmas Yet!

I do not know where to begin. On Saturday night the family met over at my cousins son’s house for dinner while there my cousin’s daughter gave my a copy of their latest CD and DVD of their band “Spaghetti Cake” called “Ready for Summer”, they have a rock band for kids that the whole family can enjoy. This I think is their third CD and my cousin and her husband wrote and sang all of the songs. What made the CD and DVD so special for me was what they wrote inside the DVD “To Diana, We love you”, my eyes clouded over with tears for a second. Personally I think their first album (Jam Food) was the best because I like the songs; Man in the Moon, Best Friend and Snow Days. It was also winner of the "Best New Artist for Older Children" by the 2001 Children's Music Awards.
As I was leaving my cousin’s son’s wife asked me to come over on Christmas day since my brother and sister-in-law are going to New Jersey to be with my niece and her family. But what made it so nice was that she added; “You are coming as Diana aren’t you?” I think she could tell the answer as soon as my eyes lit up.
In the afternoon on Christmas Eve I went up to my nephew’s in Litchfield for dinner and to exchange presents with them and my brother and sister-in-law. For dinner they had seafood lasagna and it was excellent, in it had shrimp, scallops and crabmeat in a white sauce.
However; best of all was today, because I was able to be myself. I was very nervous at first since this was the first family function that I attended as Diana and it was the first time my cousin’s kids saw me as Diana; also some of their in-laws were there. But after awhile I relaxed and enjoyed our time together.

Miss Elainie

What do the holidays mean to you?
A time of peace, a time to come home and be with your family, a time of inner reflection, a time to be thankful for all that we have and to remember those who do not have a home to go to.

Have safe and joyful holidays... Peace.

By The Way Sunday

~Christmas Eve~

By the way...
It's Christmas Eve today, so what are your plans?
I went to my nephew’s for Christmas Eve where we had dinner.

Will Santa be stopping by your house tonight?
Ms. Claus gave out presents to her grand nieces and nephews;
My 5 year old niece – Mermaid card game
My 3 year old niece – Snuggle Stuffed puppy and book set
My 5 year old nephew – Lego set (Cat, I cheated and asked my niece and she recommended anything Lego)
My 1 year old nephew – Scuffy Tugboat book and CD set

Will you be opening gifts tonight or on Christmas day?
Both, on my brother’s last night and my cousin usually gives me presents also.

"Do you solemnly swear you are not a transsexual..."

I found this on the (en)gendered forum;

Transsexual question unique to Clark County
During the marriage license oath, couples are asked whether either person is a transsexual or has syphilis.

By Gail Cetnar
Springfield News-Sun
Staff Writer

Most couples on their way to the wedding chapel are prepared to answer the big question.

You know, the one they answer "I do."

Few are prepared for a more personal question they get first at the courthouse — and only in Clark County.

Sharon Weldy knows that better than anyone.

Issuing marriage licenses is part of her job description as deputy clerk of Clark County Probate Court. Each couple that approaches her desk must fill out the application, pay a $45 fee and raise their right hand to take an oath before they're issued a license.

Weldy, poised and professional, looks at the happy couple and pleasantly begins to recite the oath.

"Do you solemnly swear you are not a transsexual..."

That's when the looks of bewilderment hit.

"Most of the time, I'd say 75 percent of the time, when I give the oath I get laughter or giggles or questionable looks. You know, they can't believe that's what they're being asked to say," Weldy said.

She continues with a list of other questions: Are they related closer than second cousins? Are they under the influence of intoxicating liquor or a controlled substance? Are they infected with syphilis?

If they swear they're not, they get the license.

Saturday Six - Episode 141

Patrick’s Weekender

1. How many Christmas Cards did you receive from people you hadn't sent cards to, after the "mailing deadline?" Did you send a card anyway?
Two, but this year for some reason I didn’t receive many cards. I sent the two cards the other day.

2. At this point, do you weigh more or less than you did on January 1, 2006? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
More, it’s a bad thing.

3. When the clock strikes Midnight on New Year's, will you be at home, at a party, or somewhere else?
At home at a party at my house.

4. Take the quiz: What's your holiday stress level?

Your Holiday Stress Level is Moderate

The holidays sometimes stress you out, but mostly because they wear you down. Take it easy! You can have a fun holiday without running yourself ragged.

What's Your Holiday Stress Level?

5. Have you ever been the designated driver at a party or outing with your friends?
I don’t drink more than one drink when I drink, so yes I do drive a lot.

6. Have you ever taken the keys and driven home a friend that you felt was too drunk to drive? If not, do you think you would attempt to if that situation ever arose?
For my New Year’s Eve party anyone at my house for the party knows they can crash here instead of driving home. And if they do, they will get a great breakfast in the morning; omelet (with ham, cheese, peppers and onions), bacon, sausages, hash browns, melon, juice and coffee.
Yes, I would take their keys and if they didn’t give me their keys I would strongly think about reporting them. I also will not provide alcohol at my parties, its’ BYOB.

FOUR FOR FRIDAY

Q1 - Wealth: In 1982, the year Forbes started publishing its annual list of the 400 wealthiest Americas, the magazine could find only a dozen or so billionaires. This year, The Forbes 400 list includes billionaires only. What is your definition of wealthy?
Health, a loving family and enough money so you don’t have to worry.

Q2 - Advertising and Religion: Bahrainian athlete Ruqaya Al Ghasara runs her track & field races wearing a hijab (a full Muslim headscarf). Nike, which sponsors Al Ghasara and is notorious for splashing its logo on everything in sight, somehow managed to get the Nike swoosh emblazoned onto the sides of Al Ghasara hijab. In your opinion, should Nike have stopped short of swooshifying a religious garment, or is Al Ghasara hijab fair game for branding?
No, Nike went too far. What’s next the brand symbol on the Bible? In my opinion we are getting in to areas where there should be no advertising, it is in high school, junior high school and even elementary school where advertisers are sponsoring school books, educational television programs etc. something the taxpayers should pay for and not take corporate money.

Q3 - Asking for Advice: According to a recent survey, most employees are unwilling to turn to their boss for advice on problems at work. In fact, a supervisor was cited by only 11 percent of employees surveyed as a source for workplace advice. More employees rely on a peer, another senior person, or a friend outside the company when searching for advice on work-related issues. How about you? When you are experiencing problems at work, who do you turn to for help or advice?
I turn to my boss and co-workers. I feel the goal of work is to get a good product out and on time and we should use the most effected way, if that means going to the boss for help, so be it.

Q4 - Sleep: While everyone pretty much knows that sleep is vital to our health and well being, millions of us are not getting enough of it, or are suffering from sleep-related problems. For example, surveys conducted by the National Sleep Foundation reveal that 60 percent of adults report having sleep problems a few nights a week or more. In addition, more than 40 percent of adults experience daytime sleepiness severe enough to interfere with their daily activities at least a few days each month. What time did you go to bed last night, and do you think you got enough sleep?
I went to bed at 10:30 and I woke up at 3:30, dozed off again around 4:30 and finally woke up around 7:30. I do not think I got enough good sleep.

Wednesday Mind Hump

Wednesday Mind Hump


1. Name a song that makes you smile.
The Singing Waitresses – “Merry Christmas”

2. Name a food that makes you smile.
Oh, just one! Poppy Seed Roll

3. Name a person that makes you smile.
My grand nieces and nephews, they are all still under 5.

4. Name a movie that makes you smile.
”Fifty First Dates”, that is the first one that popped in to my head.

5. Name a website that makes you smile.
I don’t think there is one, I usually do not go looking for funny websites.

The Thursday Threesome

::Plenty of time::

Onesome: Plenty-- of time, take a deep breath. Overnight/Saturday delivery could work for you... So could a trip a few hundred miles away if you're into shopping on Sunday! How are you doing? Do you have it together?
I now have all the presents, I just have to wrap them for tonight (Which I should be doing instead of answering these questions, but this is more fun.) and yes I did use overnight delivery.

Twosome: of-- all the states, I'm hearing the worst reports from Ohio! It has no snow! No snow, no Christmas! What's to be done? Is it looking like the normal Christmas weather there for you?
Nope, dry and high of 50F with no snow anywhere in the Northeast.

Threesome: Time--Time? Good grief, the 24th is days away, and most men haven't even awakened a sense of urgency as yet . Is anyone done, finished, wrapped and resting?
See the answer to question one.

3x Thursday

::The Brian::

1. Do you believe there's such a thing as a chemical imbalance? Do you think that treating these problems with drugs is a good thing? Why/why not?
Yes, we can see the effects on various other parts of our bodies when we get out of chemical balance. If I don’t drink a lot of water my heart starts to palpitate and skip beats, if I don ‘t have enough salt I get cramps in my legs so why not our brains if we do not have the right chemical balance.

2. What about drugs for brain-related stuff like depression? Do you think one should be able to get over it themselves, or do you think sometimes we all need a little help, and sometimes we need meds for awhile?
I think one should try first to get over it without drugs and if not we should then look at various other ways including drugs.

3. Who do you turn to when you have emotional crises? Why?
My brother and his wife, they are my family. And if I need more than they can provide, I would look for professional help.

Bonus Question for Comments: Are you ready to deal with Xmas? Will you be happy or sad when the holidays are over?
I am never ready for the Holidays and I feel I will have mixed emotions. One of those emotion will be knowing I will have to go back to work on the January 2nd.

Crossing the Gender Norms

One of the questions I always get when I am doing an Outreach is, “What bathroom do I use?” well there is no right answer. If I use my birth gender bathroom, I might get killed and if I use the women’s bathroom I might get arrested.
I found this on a blog I read and this illustrates this dilemma.

The topic of the blogs is when Ian Harvie a female bodied, male identified comedian and his friend Margaret Clo went to used the women's bathroom at the Waldorf-Astoria. They were there attending a fundraiser that Bette Midler was giving for the NY Restoration Project.
Ian Harvie blog.
Margaret Clo blog.

Also you might want to read one of my blog postings that I wrote on this same subject back in June.

In Memory of Gwen Amber Rose Araujo" (by darkXsmile)

Your 82% smarter than Jerry Springer Guests!!

 

Okay, not bad. You would not end up on TV with Leno if they were asking you questions...probably. You need a little brush up but not bad at all. Good Job!

Are you a smart or stupid American?
Create a Quiz

I didn’t answer this question;
11. Given: A + 13 = 90 - 10 A equals ?
17
80
97
67

Because they do not have the correct answer....
A+13=90-10A
A+10A=90-13
11A=77
A=77/11
A=7

Web Site Design

One of my pet peeves is bad web-site design; the web site should be functional on all web browsers, not just Internet Explorer. I just went to register for a transgender convention in the Boston area this January and it would not work on Netscape 8.0 nor would it work on Firefox 2.0, it only worked on Internet Explorer. Bad, bad, bad! They just told twenty percent of their visitors that they don’t care about them, because that is about the percentage of non-Internet Explorer users.
When I write a web page I make sure it works on all three browsers (I don’t check it out on Opera because I found that if it works on all three it works on Opera.) the web-site for the Connecticut Outreach Society was mentioned on many sites as being quite impressive including the Yale GLBT center. When I was taking classes in web design the one thing that all the instructors stressed was to make sure the web-site worked on all platforms.

Miss Elainie

Christmas/Holiday Potpourri

1. Do you get stressed-out over the holidays? If so, what stresses you out the most?
Who, me get stressed out, never happens! Yeah right, I get stressed over everything; shopping, buy and decorating the tree, wrapping the presents, etc.

2. Have you ever eaten chestnuts?
Yes and I can tell you it is nothing to write home about. My grandmother use to roast them in the oven each Christmas, they have a strong taste to them.

3. Do you have a special recipe you make during the holidays and if so what is it?
Yes, Poppy Seed and Nut Rolls (Potica) which my grandmother use to make ever Christmas and I tried to make it once, but it is way too much work. Now I found a store that makes it almost the way my grandmother made it.

4. Have you ever had Carolers come to you door?
A long time ago some of the neighbors came around signing and wish Christmas cheer (which I thought they were taking quite literality)

5. Do you wish for snow on Christmas/The Holidays?
A white Christmas is nice but too many people travel on the holidays. It is not like the olden days when “The horse knew the way to carry the sleigh”, cars are just not as sure footed as horses.

A Question?

I am planning on giving a gift to a co-worker, a spice jar, mulled cider spices and a tea ball. Do you think it is too much to give a co-worker?
She is the HR manager; we have been working together for twenty years; I came out to her last year; she wrote a recommendation to college for me and she has always been there to listen. They are closing down the shop this coming year so I will be laid off.
Since I am male at work, would it be too presumptuous of me to give a gift like that to a female co-worker?

Manic Monday

Weighty Issues

Are you honest about your weight on your license or other official forms?
I was when they asked about forty years ago and every time I renew it at the motor vehicle department they never about any changes. Heck, it still has that I have brown hair.

If not, by how many pounds is it off from your actual weight?
Probably it is off by sixty pounds

At what point in your life did you weigh the most?
Right now, if have gained around thirty pounds in the last nine month because of the hormones. As I lose muscle mass my metabolism has changed, muscles burns more calories then regular tissues.

A Church Divided

I just read about the split in the Episcopal Church over homosexuality, seven Virginian Episcopal Churches have broken away from the US Episcopal Church ( 7 Virginia parishes vote to quit US Episcopal Church Oppose position on including gays) and joined the Episcopal Church of Nigeria. I am not an Episcopalian so I will not comment on the schism, I will however comment on the history of another schism and that is the schism which broke up the American Baptist church to form the Southern Baptist church in 1845 and compare today’s current events..

From Wikipedia:
"North and South grew further apart in 1845 with the formation of the Southern Baptist Convention on the premise that the Bible sanctions slavery and that it was acceptable for Christians to own slaves (the Southern Baptist Convention has since renounced this interpretation). This split was triggered by the opposition of northern Baptists to slavery..."

Back then the nation was divided over slavery with the northern states slowly coming to realize that slavery was wrong and they were starting to ban slavery. Out of the northern churches the abolitionist movement grew as they realize the immorality of slavery creating tension between the north and the south. From this tension the Baptist church split. The Southern Baptist maintained that slavery was permissible because of the Bible allowed it and the courts backed them up with legal decisions supporting slavery.
Once again tension is building between the north and south but this time over homosexuality and again schisms has formed resulting in the splitting of the Episcopal Church this time. Again the northern states led the nation in civil rights with three states passing Civil Unions and one state with marriages for same-sex couples. Again the northern churches are more liberal in dealing with issues of marriage equality than their southern counter parts. We are following the same path with the majority of religions believing that discrimination against homosexuals is acceptable because it is banned in the Bible. Various states and Congress are passing this legislation to deny civil rights homosexuals by limiting marriage to a man and a woman, the courts are once again are up holding the discrimination.
A hundred years from now, will they look back and see the same institutionalized bigotry that we see when we look back at the issue of slavery?