Monday, October 05, 2015

You Can See The Difference.

I remember when I was over a friend’s house when I was probably in my late twenties or early thirties, we sitting around one weekend afternoon in the summer and one of the neighbors was there. We were talking about her son, if he was gay or not. He was showing feminine behavior (this was long before trans would have been thought of a possibility) and it was very obvious that his behavior was different from all his brothers.
'We had twin boys - but at 18 months old one wanted to become a girl': Father of transgender six-year-old on family's battle to accept Joe becoming Lily
Daily Mail
By Phoebe Jackson-Edwards
Published: 5 October 2015

A father of six-year-old twin boys – one of whom is now living as a girl – has revealed he first noticed differences between his sons when they were just 18 months old.

Matt Downes, 37, from St Albans, said he and his wife Rosie found that Olly would kick a ball around and buy Thomas The Tank Engine magazines, but Joe, who is now called Lily, opted for pink outfits and books about fairies.
After they were born, they were very close but from the age of 18 months, the parents started to see differences between their children.

Matt said: 'My earliest memory of it is at one and a half. My parents had them once a week from when they were born.

'Mum and dad used to take them down to the shops to pick a magazine. Olly would get Thomas The Tank Engine, or more "boy" magazines. She picked something pink with fairies.
'From the age of two she was drawn towards pink toys and babies. She asked for baby dolls and wanted girly fancy dress while Olly had a Batman outfit.'

And Matt explained that Lily’s ‘girlie’ behaviour continued when she went to nursery.
It is amazing to see how children gender identities develop at such an early age. Back when I was growing up feminine behavior was suppressed and we at a very early age learn to “act masculine.” Now we realize that by letting the child explore their gender identity greatly improves their quality of life.

Sadly This Is Way Too Typical

Anyone who is trans or an ally to the community knows this typical of so many trans children,
Transgender teen struggles with parents’ reaction
Amy Dickinson, Ask Amy
Detroit Free Press
October 5, 2015

Dear Amy: I am a 19-year-old transgender female. I am in an excellent life position — I have a high school diploma, a good part-time job and I am on track to get my associate degree. But I would gladly throw all of it away in order to just be me 100% of the time.
While I have not been forced out of my parents’ house or denied their support, they’ve always supported their “son,” not me.
Caitlyn Jenner (the only famous transgender person they focus on) has openly said she regrets that she didn’t transition sooner. I want to tell them how much they’ve inadvertently hurt me. I don’t want to hurt them, but at the same time I want to just scream at how they’re being such jerks and tell them to take their dreams and chuck them out of the window because reality is never perfect.
And her response was…
Dear Disrespected: It’s called “transition” for a reason. You are making a transition, but you are moving from a feeling of inner alienation toward a feeling of completeness.

For your parents, the transition is going in the opposite direction, from the son they raised and thought they knew intimately, toward the daughter they are still getting to know. While you are feeling ever more whole, they are feeling more alienated.

Some of what you are experiencing is unique to your situation, but this dynamic is also more typical parent-teen tension, expressed in inappropriate ways.
It doesn’t seem fair, but to some extent you will have to reject their ignorance or inappropriateness while still reassuring them that the person you are becoming will always love the parents they are, complete with their flaws and misapprehensions. Please keep talking. Gentleness toward them might inspire gentleness from them.
If you look at the data, one of the leading factors in a positive transition is family support; drug use, alcoholism, suicidal ideations, and self-harm are all reduced. The homeless shelters are full with LGBT people who were thrown out or ran away from home.

Hopefully, “Respectfully Disrespected” parents will realize the love and acceptance is more important than their dreams for their son.

Sunday, October 04, 2015


The conservative media likes to portray us as predators but it is far more likely that we are the prey. I have lost count on the number of trans people killed this year here in the U.S.
Trans People Face a Huge Risk of Sexual Assault—but Conservatives Paint Them as Predators
By Mark Joseph Stern
September 23, 2015

Buried among the data from the Association of American Universities’ new study on campus sexual assault was an especially distressing detail: Trans and genderqueer students face a stunningly high risk of sexual assault and harassment. Here are the lowlights:
  • 39.1 percent of trans, genderqueer, noncomforming, and questioning (“TGQN”) seniors were subject to nonconsensual sexual contact.
  • 29.5 percent of TGQN seniors experienced unwanted sexual contact as a result of physical force or incapacitation.
  • 75.2 percent of TGQN undergraduates have been sexually harassed.
  • 22.8 percent of TGQN undergrads experienced intimate partner violence.
  • 12.1 percent of TGQN undergrads are victims of stalking.
The list goes on, but the trend is clear: TGQN students are at a higher risk of assault and harassment than any other group.
It can plainly be seen that we are more likely to be victims of a violent crime than the perpetrator of violence. But the Republicans and the conservative media continue to portray us as pedophiles and perverts fostering an atmosphere where violence against us is condoned. This creates environment where assaults against trans people are not prosecuted even when there are witnesses to the assault.  

Is It Cheating?

I have always believed that trans people should be able to play on the team of their gender identity after they have been on hormones for two years or are on puberty blockers, but this article out of Iran makes me wonder if they are cheating by having mostly trans athletes on their team.
Transgenders Of The Ayatollah
Liberty News
By Adam Campbell
October 3, 2015

Eight of the “women” on Iran’s female soccer team are actually physically and biologically men, who claim to be “transgender.”

None of the eight have undergone a formal sex change operation.
It’s unclear whether or not the Iranian government had anything to do with stacking, but government agents have vowed to force players to undergo gender testing to get to the bottom of the scandal.
The article doesn’t point out if the players are on hormones and the article also erroneously reports that,
Male-to-female transgender athletes have long been a point of contention in sports–largely because men have a stronger build, larger bodies, and more muscle definition, which doesn’t go away even as they transition their gender. It often affects not just the fairness of the game, but the safety of the players.
Muscle mass does greatly decrease with cross gender hormones and after two years a trans woman muscle definition is the same as a woman.

So to answer my question, if they have been on hormones than I would say that it is not cheating but I think that the team probably thought that there is an advantage into have trans women on the team.

Saturday, October 03, 2015

Saturday 9: Straight Up

Crazy Sam’s Saturday 9: Straight Up (1988)

Every Saturday I take time off from written on serious topics to have some fun…

Unfamiliar with this week's tune? Hear it here.

1) In this song, Paula sings about being in a dream. Did you dream last night?
I did but I can never remember my dreams for more than a few minutes after I wakeup.

2) When Paula enrolled at California State University, she planned on studying broadcasting and becoming a reporter.  Think about your career aspirations when you were 19. Did you follow through and stay on track or, like Paula, did you veer off and find success elsewhere?
I stayed on track, I always wanted to work in electronics and I did up until I retired.

3) For a while she was a "Laker Girl" and performed at L.A. Laker games. Do you have a favorite NBA team?
Nope. I don’t follow any sports teams.

4) Paula was once married to Brad Beckerman of Stillhouse Spirits, a company that specializes in whiskey. What's your favorite alcoholic beverage?
Chardonnay, I not into whiskeys. My favorite drink was at first rum and coke, then when I couldn’t have any caffeine I started drinking Cape Coders and now it is white wines.

5) Paula has been dancing since age 8 and, as you can see from the video, Paula moves very well in heels. Tell us about your most comfy shoes.
Sneakers. I live in sneakers, but during the summer I do wear some comfy sandals a lot.

6) Paula admits it was her passion for jewelry and that inspired her to design her own line for QVC and Avon. What is your favorite thing to go shopping for? 
Groceries! Food…

7) She advises young girls to "keep the faith and don't lose your gut instinct." How about you? Are you more logical or instinctive?
Logical, it’s my engineering background.

8) In May, Paula traveled to Austria for The Life Ball, a fundraiser to help those afflicted with HIV/AIDS. When is the last time you left the country?
Wow, it was so long ago that I can’t even remember.

9) Paula Abdul is a spokeswoman for Avon's "Go Check Yourself" campaign for breast health awareness. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Do you know anyone who has been touched by this disease?
It doesn’t run in the family (but that doesn’t mean I don’t get checked), however it has touched my neighbors.