Sunday, August 20, 2017

On Vacation…

I am up in Wells Maine this weekend with two friends who have never been up here. I was up here at me brother’s and sister-in-law’s condo on Thursday and meetup with my friends on Friday afternoon and we are staying until Monday morning.

Friday was a rainy day and we went to Ogunquit for supper at Barnacle Billy's in the Perkin’s Cove section of Ogunquit, let’s just say it wasn’t what we expected. The food was good but we later found out that there are two Barnacle Billy's, and the one that served what we wanted, a sit down meal was the other restaurant. The one we went to you had to go up an order you food from basically a “take-out” window and then went into the dining area until they called your number. I had BBQ chicken which was good and a tropical rum fruit punch.

We then walked around Perkin’s Cove in the light rain and then we walked around the center of Ogunquit and had some ice cream at one of the stores.

Saturday, we walked around the Rachel Carson Wildlife Sanctuary, we then drove by the Bush Compound and stopped at Cape Porpoise. We then went to see Wood Island lighthouse which is a quarter mile walk from the road, while there the sun came out and the temperature and humidity rose.

For dinner we went to Billy’s Chowder House where I had a Pomegranate Martini and Baked Stuff Haddock with Newburg Sauce… both were excellent!

Today we are supposed to walk the Marginal Way and then go out to one of the beaches.

Friday, August 18, 2017

A Sick Sense Of Humor

To joke about an oppressed community is not funny.
Anti-transgender sign defended as ‘satire’
By Frank Chung
August 18, 2017

A BUSINESS owner who sparked outrage with a sign referencing transgender people has defended the move as “satire”, saying people are too easily offended these days.

Richard Tisch, owner of Will County Loan Company, a pawnbroker in the US town of Lockport, Illinois, about 50km southwest of Chicago, caused a stir this week with a sign reading, “Help wanted — must be female from birth.”

It was seen as a clear show of support for US President Donald Trump’s ban on transgender servicepeople in the military last month, a reversal of a decision made by former President Barack Obama in 2016 to allow transgender people to serve openly for the first time.
Well if it was satire then why did he also have at one time signs that read,
Mr Tisch, a 71-year-old retired Vietnam veteran, has previously caused a stir with provocative signs, including “Become a liberal, remove half your brain” and “Hillary’s health plan — free condoms for Wild Bill”. He also has a sign inside the store warning of a “two per cent surcharge for Democrats”.

“Does anybody think that’s serious?” he told local news station WGN9. “The sign is, no question, satire. People are just too serious. Everybody’s becoming offended in this country today. I mean, the place has gone crazy.”
Yes, I think you are serious only this time you got called out for it and now you laugh and say “I was only joking.”

Are There Transphoblic Gays And Lesbians?

I have to say yes, but…

But there are also homophobic trans people.

However, I have found that there are not many transphobic gays and lesbians that I have met. I have found many more gays and lesbians .

I bring this up because of a Facebook post.

Where the person described and meeting she had and the pushback that she received from lesbians and gays at the meeting.
I've been feeling troubled lately by what feels like transmisogyny from certain gay and lesbian friends. Is that true? Is it me? How is this possible?
Well one reason is that it conflicts with their goals and another reason is that they are transmisogyny.

In my limited time in being out (some 18 years) I have encountered some transmisogyny.

One time when I was in grad school for my MSW senator Lieberman came to the LGBT center on campus to talk about ENDA, and DADT. Well the talk started to center around DADT and I brought up us being excluded from serving in the military. Well about a dozen gays complained that I was sidetracking the discussion, but the senator answered my question.

Another time it was at a bar in of all places LGBT friendly Ogunquit ME, they were having a women’s ”T” dance (“T” as in tea dance because it is held at 4 PM, tea time). They didn’t want to let us in and after staring at each other for what seemed like 5 minutes (which probably was only about 30 seconds) she backed down and this is in a state with the same gender non-discrimination law as Connecticut (the draft version of the law was written by the same person).

I was invited once to a focus group by the representative, now senator Murphy to talk about LGBT issues (I believe that I was their token trans person) and they were all interested in the plight of the trans community. I had positives comments

So this brings me to an article in Bilerico Project written back in 2009 by Dr. Jillian T. Weiss,
Transphobia In the Gay Community

Q: What are the sources of transphobia? Is it best combatted by telling it to go away?
A: Its source is not mere prejudice, but old and complex power relations that must be changed, a task that is neither quick nor easy, and is not accomplished by adding a letter to an organization's name. It is based in heterosexism and heteronormativity masked as "radical" critique. Gold [Ronald Gold, posted a transphobic diatribe on The Bilerico Project.], and the many others of his ilk, are sheep in wolf's clothing. This needs to be called out and addressed by the gay community. It should not be up to the transgender community to battle alone, thus furthering the divide.

I see many such opinions like Gold's, often in the averted eyes and cold demeanors of gays and lesbians I meet. Just a week ago, I was invited to join a meeting of gender and sexuality scholars. When I told them of my research on a possible constitutional right to have a legal transgender identity, some of them derided the idea. What if I said I was 6'2", one asked. Another suggested that it would be better to avoid the idea of rights, and just hope for policy makers to do the right thing. No one seemed to think these opinions problematic in any way, although I was left squirming in my chair. No one said a word to me at the end of the session. I thought about it all the rest of that day, and into the next, when I wrote one of my detractors, hoping to politely clue him into an understanding that this was not on. He said we'd have to agree to disagree. It was as welcoming as an iceberg.

I know there has been much progress and the LGBT community has come a long way. But we are not yet at the promised land where we judge each other by the content of our characters, rather than the color of our skin or, I might add, the stripe of our sexuality or gender.
Too Queer, And Not Queer Enough
Transsexuals violated the tacit social understandings of the homosexual community in the U.S. both by failing to pass and passing too much. Transsexuals, and later transgenders, were disparaged because some were "passing" as straight through embrasure of stereotypes of gendered behavior, i.e., effeminacy for MTFs and hyper-masculinity for FTMs, and embrasure of heterosexual practices and privilege by identifying their same-sex practices as heterosexuality, thus rejecting homosexual identity. They were also looked down upon because they violated cultural norms of sexual behavior through gender ambiguity, visible androgyny and genderqueerness, thus violating the accommodationist idea that they are "just like you." The resulting split has incorrectly been attributed to fear -- "transphobia," rather than social and political forces.

Gold might argue that he is not one of the accommodationists, because he is fighting for the right to act in ways that violate gender norms. He ignores the context of the times, however. In the 1960s, such an argument was radical and liberating. The argument is no longer a radical one. It is now a regressive argument. By arguing that those born male must retain identification with maleness, even if not with masculinity, his critique lags well behind the radical curve, and begins to merge with the opinions of conservative traditionalists. At one time the use of bronze tools was the latest in technology. To advocate their use today would be silly.
I move around in LGBT community a lot, I attend many events for the LGBT community and I have never had any problems. I am a member of a senior LGBT and lesbian social groups, I have been to many a house party at the homes of lesbians, the Connecticut chapter of a national gay philanthropic organization raised money for CTAC (CT TransAdvocacy Coalition) and I went to all of their events without any problems.

I think the animosity between us stems back to when the lesbians and gays political organizations were trying to show… “See we are just like straight people” and they didn’t want anyone who wasn’t gender conforming.

I am up in Maine for the weekend so my posts are going to be limited... instead of writing I willbe out having with family and friends

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Are You Dysphoric?

I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria but that doesn’t mean that I am dysphoric. An article from 2015 makes my point.
Not All Transgender People Have Dysphoria – And Here Are 6 Reasons Why That Matters
Everyday Feminist
By Sam Dylan Finch
August 13, 2015

I remember talking with a friend of mine who is transgender with the assumption that we both experienced dysphoria, which is the distress or discomfort that occurs when the gender someone is assigned does not align with their actual gender.

As I was talking, I could see their eyes start to stare off in another direction.

“Are you alright?” I asked, puzzled by their sudden disinterest in our conversation.

On an ordinary day, Kai and I could talk gender for hours. The only person who seemed more passionate about trans identity than me was definitely Kai.

But suddenly, in conversation that should’ve excited them, they seemed to be someplace else entirely.

“Well, I don’t…” Kai paused. “Don’t judge me or anything, but like, I don’t experience dysphoria.”
But in my years as an advocate, I continue to meet more trans folks like Kai who don’t experience dysphoria, and further, who are afraid to open up about it.

I’ve been lucky enough to learn from them, and I understand now why my gut reaction – to exclude them – was such a problematic one.

So why shouldn’t we define transgender people on the basis of dysphoria?
For me once I transitioned my gender dysphoria went away, once I transitioned and living my life in my true gender the stress went away.

That doesn’t mean that I am stress free, the bigots does make life easy. Their hatred does cause pain, it is hard to realize that someone hates you but that is not gender dysphoria.

What are your thoughts?

Where You Live

Where you live has a lot to do with you rights, some state have a strong human rights record but in other states they are doing everything can to make our lives hell on earth for us. One trans woman wrote this about living in a red state.
Living transgender in a red state
Red Dirt Report
By Chelsea Copeland
August 16, 2017

Natalie is in a difficult situation living in Oklahoma and being transgender.

“Living in this state has caused me to pause my transition completely out of concern for my wellbeing. If a person doesn't "pass" (meaning they come off as one sex or the other and not someone in between), the least that can happen are stares and whispers everywhere they go. Last month a trans woman was attacked on the street I live on, and I had always felt rather safe from violence in a city more liberal like Tulsa. Only my friends know that I am out; I wouldn't dare apply or reveal myself on a job for concern of backlash. I'll probably wait to get on estrogen until I move. The mood in the state has definitely shifted since the end of 2016. People are more vocal in their hate.”

Despite her travels from Ohio and Oklahoma, Natalie may not be settled just yet. She’s having trouble finding specialized healthcare for transgender people. “I'm hoping and working toward Colorado with a fallback plan of the west coast. The only available option here for a trans person with limited resources who can't get a therapist to sign off on hormones would be Planned Parenthood. I'd have access to healthcare in both options.”
“I've gotten hate messages on Facebook for speaking out against prejudice. I don't go into women's restrooms as I don't "pass", and if you don't pass in this state there's a heavy stigma that you're probably trying to creep on children in a bathroom

“I've yet to be physically assaulted. I don't go out presenting as female due to concerns for my safety Only in controlled environments, with friends and such usually their homes, or at the Transgender support group nearby.”
Some people don’t have a choice where they live, it takes money to move that they don’t have or need just to survive.

I am going away to Ogunquit this weekend with some friends so my blogging might be sporadic.

Marginal Way