There Are A Million Reasons…

We feel guilty that somehow we caused it.

We are afraid the police won’t believe us.

We are embarrassed or afraid what others will think.

We don’t not want our family or friends to know.

I will be revictimized in court

No one will believe or do anything because I’m trans.

Why I'm Not Staying Silent About Being A Trans Woman Who Was Sexually Assaulted
I stayed silent because so many people believe trans women are "too disgusting" to be assaulted, or that we're sexual predators ourselves. But I'm not staying silent anymore.
BuzzFeed
By Sarah McBride
October 20, 2017

It was right around Halloween in 2012, just six months after I had come out as transgender. While finishing my junior year of college in Washington, DC, I was still getting used to life as a newly out transgender woman. And at the time, I was woefully insecure about how I looked — desperately trying to fit in, and yearning to be viewed as conventionally beautiful.
[…]
Perhaps he sensed my insecurity all along. Perhaps he instinctively understood the power dynamic — the royalty of his cisgender, straight male desires to the peasantry of my newly out transgender womanhood. Whatever it was, it started as consensual. That is, until he tried to escalate things after our friends had gone home, the party had ended, and we found ourselves downstairs alone.
[…]
I stayed silent because I knew that while many survivors are met with disbelief and doubt when they share their stories, trans survivors often also face a different kind of disbelief — one rooted in the perception that trans people are “too disgusting” to be assaulted. Alleged rapists and sexual harassers will sometimes insist that they couldn’t possibly have done what they’ve been accused of because the person accusing them is too unattractive to merit being assaulted. We’ve even heard that defense from our sitting president.

Then all the fears mentioned above starts to kick in…

This is how systems of oppression work: The violence, discrimination, and stigma I face as a woman compounds the violence, discrimination, and stigma I face as a trans person, and vice versa.

But the mere fact that I can safely share all of this now reflects my own privilege. Despite the continued experiences of harassment I face as a woman, as well as the threats I face as a trans advocate, I don’t have to work, live with, or see my abuser. I don’t have to fear his retribution.

For most of us, we don’t have a lifetime of experience to read the signs of danger, we are used to just walking up to the car and unlocking it without checking out our surroundings. We don’t park under a street light. We don’t pick-up the warning signs at a party. We don’t know not to accept drinks from strangers in a bar.

It is not your fault.

It is not your fault.

You did nothing wrong.