Sometimes We Forget…

I was at a support group meeting on Saturday and it was a smaller turnout but we had a more interesting discussion. Sometimes we forget that we all had to come out.

Whenever I talk to a trans-person who is struggling to come out many of them are amazed that I went through the same thing. When I was first coming out I was so afraid to go out in public, one time the support group was meeting at a boutique in Bloomfield, I couldn’t get up enough courage to get out of the car and walk across the parking lot. Another time I couldn’t go into a grocery store and I sat out in the car and cried.

They are amazed that I used to have a beard to try to be more “masculine” and stop crossdressing or that I lived in fear of being discovered. It took a long time for me to become comfortable going out in public, for a long time I only went out with the group. We used to go out to restaurants, one time we went to one restaurant and they said, take a left and go all the way to the end, take a right and they will be in the booths there. Well I followed the directions to a “T” never making eye contact and when I got there at the booths no one was there! I sat down and stared at the table never looking around wonder what am I going to do if no one shows up! After what seemed like a life time the waiter came up to me and said “I think the group you want is over there.” I looked where he was pointing and there they were, all giggling because I walked right by them.

Now they see a confident woman and cannot imagine anything else that I could be anything else.