I am on a committee for safe schools here in Connecticut and we have been working on a question to add to our FAQ on gender identity and expression in school. The one of the questions that we were discussing was what a school should do if a student doesn’t want to transition, but just wear the clothes of the other gender. The phrase that we discussed was…
The question I always found difficult to answer was what if the parents’ religious beliefs are against transitioning or they are opposed to the child’s true gender identity, what can you do? The parents are the legal guardians for the child and even though the child might be trans, you can’t do anything if the parents don’t want you to.
When I was a social work grad student, one of my classmates came up to me after class one night and asked what she should do about her nephew. He told her that he should have been a girl, but the parents are deeply religious and are against his transition. My classmate asked me what can she do to help and my only response was just let him know that you will be there for her. It is sad, but our hands are tied.
We also discussed how a student can go about changing their name for the school records and one of the lawyers there brought up an interesting point, Connecticut is a Common Law state. In other words, you can change your name just by saying that you are changing your name; therefore, a school shouldn’t require a court order. Hmmm… I wonder if you can change your name on your driver’s license?
Be who you want a beThe only limitation that we discussed was that you had to dress within the limits of the dress code (which has to be gender neutral). We also went over a rough draft of other questions and answers that a sub-committee came up with. Now it has to worm its way through a number of state agencies before we publish the answer (The original FAQ is here).
Dress the way you want to dress
The question I always found difficult to answer was what if the parents’ religious beliefs are against transitioning or they are opposed to the child’s true gender identity, what can you do? The parents are the legal guardians for the child and even though the child might be trans, you can’t do anything if the parents don’t want you to.
When I was a social work grad student, one of my classmates came up to me after class one night and asked what she should do about her nephew. He told her that he should have been a girl, but the parents are deeply religious and are against his transition. My classmate asked me what can she do to help and my only response was just let him know that you will be there for her. It is sad, but our hands are tied.
We also discussed how a student can go about changing their name for the school records and one of the lawyers there brought up an interesting point, Connecticut is a Common Law state. In other words, you can change your name just by saying that you are changing your name; therefore, a school shouldn’t require a court order. Hmmm… I wonder if you can change your name on your driver’s license?
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