Thoughts On The TDoR

Reprint from last year...

There are two trains of thought about the Transgender Day of Remembrance, some are totally against it while some are in favor of it. The divide boils down to we should celebrate what is good about being trans while others believe that we should remember those who gave their lives for just being themselves.

Why I Don't Believe in Transgender Day of Remembrance
Them Us
By Aaryn Lang
November 20, 2017

My relationship with Transgender Day of Remembrance has been a rocky one. I haven’t attended a TDOR event in the past few years because I don’t find that they deeply honor trans life. When I think of my ancestors and the struggles they experienced just to get some semblance of basic decency in this world, I know that being able to draw breath and live my life authentically and openly is the true tribute to those who’ve died, more so than any vigil — especially one built on trans death as so little has been done to prevent living trans people from meeting similar, gruesome fates. I might be on board if the people who often hosted these vigils weren’t on payroll, if they actually took action leading up to TDOR and in the months following to interrupt the violence that continues to plague our communities.

Instead, what I often see are predatory nonprofits that capitalize off of the loss of bodies they wouldn’t employ, educate, or support, while reinforcing a narrative that makes “transgender” and “death” almost synonymous. What I often see are cisgender and privileged people, as well as non-melanated transgender people who are all too happy to perform remorse at these events, yet spend the rest of the year arguing against white supremacy’s role in transphobia on social media, and doing next to nothing to address the violence that they’re supposedly torn apart over. This perpetuates a cycle where the lives lost, and others like them who are living, but under precarious conditions, become mythical and secondary to the “concerned community” that feels that the two-hour event constitutes their service to the most vulnerable among us, even though little more has been done than the masturbation of their egos, while the heart and spirit of our community continue to disintegrate.

First I agree with the part about non-profits using it as a fundraiser, I am seeing more and more “LGBT” and also trans organizations with “Donate” buttons. I don’t like that, can’t you for once remove the donate button? It appears as Aaryn Lang says that you are using our deaths for your financial gains.

Second many of these “LGBT” organizations are not trans friendly, they have only gays and lesbians on their staff or have in the past backed lesbian and gay legislation at the determent of the trans community and now they are sponsoring the TDoR.

Third, I worry about the TDoR being used as a political tool of political parties to push their candidate or agenda. It is one thing to rally for legislation and is another thing to push a parties doctrine.

Many organizations are coupling the TDoR with Trans Awareness Week an idea that I like and many are also holding a Trans Pride event in another month other then November.

End of reprint

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Out of the twenty-two trans people who were murdered this year just because they were trans nineteen were Latina or Black and ten of them were in their twenties

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Last week I ran a poll on whether TDoR should be run or organized by trans people and eighty-two percent said yes.

There is a growing trend of businesses holding TDoRs. As Aaryn Lang said there is “predatory nonprofits that capitalize off of the loss of bodies,” and I would add churches to the list.

My thoughts on whether non-trans people or organization should hold a TDoR is that they better tread lightly and not just give lip services one day a year, that they have to have a 24/365 commitment to the trans community