Why I think going “stealth” is a lot harder than being out.
Whenever I can I attend a photo club at the town’s senior on Friday afternoons and for over a year I have been attending the meetings off and on. For the last month I’ve been busy on Fridays so I haven’t been able to attend the meetings, last Friday I was free and went to the meeting.
When I walked in there were two new members one looked familiar but I couldn't place him. While I was checking my email on my tablet during a lull in the meeting, I received an email from a former co-worker and it dawned on me who the new member was, he was a former co-worker. He was a draftsman who got laid off back in '85 while I was an engineer there; he used to work on the project team that I worked on.
When I blurted out, “I remember you; we used to work together at Electro Mechanics!” I think I was a shock to him as much as he was a shock to me.
Well I guess that I'm probably out to the club now, if they didn’t know before they know now since I won’t be at the next two meetings. Oh well, c'est la vie.
I don’t talk about being trans at the meetings, that is not what I am there for but I don’t hide my past either and as I joke when I'm doing an outreach that if you can’t tell that I’m trans, get a hearing aid and glasses. But can you imagine if someone was “stealth” and this happened to them?
I don’t judge whether you want to live “stealth” or “out” that is your decision to make. But the way I see it you have much more to lose by being back in the closet.
Whenever I can I attend a photo club at the town’s senior on Friday afternoons and for over a year I have been attending the meetings off and on. For the last month I’ve been busy on Fridays so I haven’t been able to attend the meetings, last Friday I was free and went to the meeting.
When I walked in there were two new members one looked familiar but I couldn't place him. While I was checking my email on my tablet during a lull in the meeting, I received an email from a former co-worker and it dawned on me who the new member was, he was a former co-worker. He was a draftsman who got laid off back in '85 while I was an engineer there; he used to work on the project team that I worked on.
When I blurted out, “I remember you; we used to work together at Electro Mechanics!” I think I was a shock to him as much as he was a shock to me.
Well I guess that I'm probably out to the club now, if they didn’t know before they know now since I won’t be at the next two meetings. Oh well, c'est la vie.
I don’t talk about being trans at the meetings, that is not what I am there for but I don’t hide my past either and as I joke when I'm doing an outreach that if you can’t tell that I’m trans, get a hearing aid and glasses. But can you imagine if someone was “stealth” and this happened to them?
I don’t judge whether you want to live “stealth” or “out” that is your decision to make. But the way I see it you have much more to lose by being back in the closet.
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