Thursday, November 08, 2012

My Story Part 141 – Friends

Last week I wrote about love in the trans-community, but what about our friends? What about our friends from high school? Or what about our friends from work? Or what about our new friends from the trans-community?

When I talk about transition to a class I usually joke about it is kind of hard to hide the fact that you are trans to your family and friends; they kind of notice little thing like going to a picnic in your true gender.

I had to come out to my friends from high school, after over forty years we still saw each other occasional so I knew that I had to come out to them. One night I invited them over to for a party and I told them then. Of course they we all shocked but they took it good and I’m still invited over for parties. It turned out that one of my friends that I wasn’t the first person that they knew who transitioned, the husband of one of the brides maids had also transitioned and also an employee where he worked transitioned (I am also friends with that person).

I retired from work before I transitioned but I had told the HR director, the general manager and a couple of close friends and once again they took it okay. Yesterday I went out to lunch with three former employees and we get together a couple times a year. I bumped into two other employees since I retired, one in the park where I walk and the other at a restaurant and both of them had no problem with me being trans.

In the trans-community I am good friends with a number of trans-people, both trans-women and trans-men. I have also lost a number of trans-friends; once they became post-op (meaning that they had their surgery) they dropped out of the community and went stealth. I realize that it is their decision to do so, but I think they are walking away from the past.

Now what is interesting is that my old friends have never meet my new friends, I don’t know how my old friends would handle being with a mess of trans-folk. Also I wonder how my new friends who are straight or lesbian or gay friends would handle being with my trans-friends. Is being with one trans-person cool and but being with three or four trans-persons make them nervous?

Friendship with a trans-person is complicated and not everyone can deal with it; people who can are far and few between.

Now a word about being “Out”

Lana Wachowski receives the HRC Visibility Award

I am not a fan of the HRC, but it was nice that they picked Ms. Wachowski to receive the award.

My Story is a weekly series of blog posts about my transition and observation of life as a trans-person.

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