Some of my earliest memory was saying my prayers at night and asking God to make me a girl and of crying myself to sleep. I remember that I use to play with the girl down the street when we lived down in Milford. My memory is a foggy with age, but what I do remember was my mother telling me that I couldn’t play with her anymore because she set her closet on fire. I don’t remember what we played together, that memory is lost in the haze of some 60+ years. I don’t even remember her name.
When we moved to the town where I currently live I lead a “normal” life as a boy except for my desire to be a girl. I always wanted to go and play with the girls, but I learned that was not socially correct. I use to dream of flying down one of the hills on my bike that had a blind side street and hitting a car. Waking up in the hospital and the doctors telling me that had to make me into a girl because of the accident, and I said, “Aw shucks, I guess you had to do what you had to do.” I would feign grief but inside I would be jumping for joy. Another dream that I had was a mad scientist kidnapped me and a girl and switched our brains. Just your typical boy dreams.
In seventh grade we had a freshman initiation where the boys had to dress up and wear a skort, our father’s shirt backward (I always thought it looked like a Peter Pan collar) and one high heel shoe. I loved dressing up and I did from that day forward.
Some 50 years later, my prayers were answered when I transitioned and started hormones. What came first the chicken or the eggs? How did this affect me? Other kids play with girls when they were young and never transitioned. There were another 10 or 15 boys in the freshman class that dressed up and they never transitioned. I think that the spark is set before we are born and that it takes an event that triggers the fire. Maybe without that prenatal spark I would have been a crossdressers, maybe without the trigger I would have been just another unhappy kid. I believe that the two parts have to happen, that there has to be something prenatal and a trigger, a blend of nature and nurture.
When we moved to the town where I currently live I lead a “normal” life as a boy except for my desire to be a girl. I always wanted to go and play with the girls, but I learned that was not socially correct. I use to dream of flying down one of the hills on my bike that had a blind side street and hitting a car. Waking up in the hospital and the doctors telling me that had to make me into a girl because of the accident, and I said, “Aw shucks, I guess you had to do what you had to do.” I would feign grief but inside I would be jumping for joy. Another dream that I had was a mad scientist kidnapped me and a girl and switched our brains. Just your typical boy dreams.
In seventh grade we had a freshman initiation where the boys had to dress up and wear a skort, our father’s shirt backward (I always thought it looked like a Peter Pan collar) and one high heel shoe. I loved dressing up and I did from that day forward.
Some 50 years later, my prayers were answered when I transitioned and started hormones. What came first the chicken or the eggs? How did this affect me? Other kids play with girls when they were young and never transitioned. There were another 10 or 15 boys in the freshman class that dressed up and they never transitioned. I think that the spark is set before we are born and that it takes an event that triggers the fire. Maybe without that prenatal spark I would have been a crossdressers, maybe without the trigger I would have been just another unhappy kid. I believe that the two parts have to happen, that there has to be something prenatal and a trigger, a blend of nature and nurture.
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