Wednesday, April 01, 2026

A Lot of High Fives

[Editorial]

There is much glee about Kristi Noem’s husband being outed!
But I take the opposite view.

No one should be outed against their will. Period.

I have always said that outing someone can cause harm, and no matter how despicable or how anti-trans they may be, they should not ever be outed.

That has long been one of the tenets of our community: you never out someone without their permission. Some of the lasting effects include higher anxiety and depression, as well as an increased risk of self-harm or suicidal thoughts. As trans people, we know better than most what happens when someone else takes control of our identity.

When I counsel people on coming out, I always tell them to make sure they have a “safety net” in case it goes badly. That option is not available to those who are outed.

If we only defend people’s dignity when it’s easy, then it isn’t a principle at all. No, I will not celebrate a person being outed against their will.

[/Editorial]

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