Dissed In Death

We have no control about what happens after we die. We can have all the proper paperwork to make sure we are not dissed in death but we are not alive to enforce it. Family can ignore our wishes, we can be deadnamed in the press or in this case by the police.

Winter Haven tragedy draws national attention for victim's status as transgender man

Lakeland Ledger

By Gary White

July 30, 2023

The killing of Camdyn Rider has drawn national publicity, and advocacy groups such as the Human Rights Campaign have criticized the Polk County Sheriff’s Office and media outlets for identifying Rider as a woman soon after the July 21 murder-suicide in Winter Haven.

Rider, who was pregnant, had long identified as a transgender man, according to Groover's mother, Rider's Facebook account and comments from friends.

Such LGBTQ-oriented outlets as Them and the Advocate have reported on Rider's death, emphasizing their status as a transgender man.

Alejandra Caraballo, a civil-rights lawyer, Harvard professor and prominent advocate for transgender rights, accused the PCSO of “intentionally misgendering” Rider. Caraballo also blasted Libs of Tik Tok, a conservative social media platform, for “mocking a trans man after he’s been murdered” by retweeting a news report about the incident with the phrase “pregnant boyfriend” in quotation marks.

Them wrote…

Groover previously had been charged with numerous criminal offenses dating back to 2014, including shooting into an occupied dwelling, battery on an officer, resisting arrest, stalking, and domestic violence. While none of those charges involved Rider, the sheriff’s office additionally stated that family members reported that previous arguments between the couple had “turned physical,” although none of those incidents were reported to law enforcement.

HEY! But Groover had a god given Constitutional right to own a gun, at least according to Florida and the Supreme Court as they consider striking down the “Red Flag” laws. The Ledger wrote,

PCSO spokesperson Carrie Horstman, who wrote a news release issued the morning after the incident, said she relied on information provided by deputies who responded to the shootings. Groover's mother, her memories of the episode still clouded by shock, said she didn’t know if anyone at the scene told deputies that Rider identified as a transgender man.

I have know some trans people who died and their family wiped out any traces of our existence. In the obituaries and on the gravestone.

The HRC wrote in their blog that,

In an injustice compounding this tragedy, Camdyn was misgendered in some media and police reports. Anti-transgender stigma is exacerbated by callous or disrespectful treatment by some in the media, law enforcement and elected offices. According to HRC research, it is estimated that approximately three-quarters of all known victims were misgendered by the media and/or by law enforcement. In the pursuit of greater accuracy and respect, HRC offers guidelines for journalists and others who report on transgender people. HRC, Media Matters and the Trans Journalists Association have also partnered on an FAQ for reporters writing about anti-trans violence.

If you don’t trust your family to show respect in death, appoint someone else with Power-of-Attorney who you trust to carry out your wishes after you pass on. Write out what you want done after you die, yes it is really hard to sit down to write out your wishes, but it has to be done to make sure those who you don’t want to be in-charge from taking over.