I Hate That Phrase

I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body, or in this case I’m a man trapped in a woman’s body. I hate those phrase, they over simplify a complex topic and it makes us sound shallow.

No Dear, You’re Not A Gay Man Trapped In A Woman’s Body
You’re making a statement that you can walk away from any time it becomes too difficult.
Huffington Post Voices
By Marshall Thornton
04/13/2017

Every so often a straight woman will blurt out some version of “I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.” This might feel like a supportive thing to say, but if you stop to think about what it’s really saying, you should realize it manages to be offensive to trans men, gay men, and women in one short sentence. It’s the trifecta of putting your foot in your mouth. Here’s why:

Trans men attracted to men actually were once gay men trapped in a woman’s body. If you’re not trans, making this statement minimizes and even erases their experience. If you’re not presenting as a man and asking us to use male pronouns when we refer to you, then you’re being glib about someone else’s challenging and deeply felt experience. And that’s offensive.

Often, when a woman pops out this statement she’s identifying with gay men’s taste in clothing or music or approach to relationships or just plain fun. What she’s not doing is volunteering to be afraid to hold her husband’s hand in public, to be legally denied housing or a job in more than twenty-six states, or to have her marriage threatened by the political party currently running this country. She’s making a statement that she can walk away from any time it becomes too difficult. It trivializes our experience. You can like me, you can have a lot in common with me, but you cannot be me.

To me it sounds like “It’s so gay!”

And another phrase that I hate is Metrosexual; it belittles gay men and reduces them to the clothes that they wear, as if all gay men are good dressers.