Trans-Love

As many trans-people know finding love is hard. Most straight women are not attracted to trans-women and most lesbian are not attracted to trans-women. Most marriages fall apart when one spouse transitions. So it is a lonely world out there.

The Huffington Post had a article about this…

Transgender People: Strangers in Gay Land
Posted: 06/24/2014
By Renato Barucco: Transgender Family Program Manager, Community Healthcare Network

What many of us fail to fully comprehend is that transgender people are not some sort of über-gay creatures. Though the intellectual and factual lines between gender identity and sexual orientation are thin (sometimes they are not even there, as some transgender people are indeed gay), they are separate things. Trans people who are LGB are not so because they are T but in addition to being T. They belong to the LGBT community twice, and for different reasons. This "Transgender 101" introduction may seem pretty obvious, yet intimate understanding is not, both for the general population and within LGBT communities.

For the sake of conserving brain power, let's focus on only two identity categories: gay cisgender men and gay transgender men. The first group is made of men who were considered males at birth, were raised as boys, identify as men and are attracted to other men. The second group is made of men who were considered females at birth, were probably raised as girls, identify as men and are attracted to other men. Assuming the transgender men in this example already transitioned either by presenting as men, undergoing medical treatments or a combination of both, if these two groups stood in front of us today, they would be generally indistinguishable.
[…]
Many gay men I talked to would not date transgender men, primarily because they feel like something would be missing. Making assumptions, they seem to be awfully concerned with the presence, shape and appearance of genitals. Those who enthusiastically entertained the idea of hooking up with transgender men always described it in the context of sexual adventures, like, say, having sex in public, participating in group role-play scenes or trying bondage. Other men, including otherwise brilliant men, couldn't even grasp the question.

I am leery about online dating because of not wanting to be seen as a “sexual adventure” I rather find someone who loves me for me and not who I am. That doesn’t mean giving up; it means going out and being involved in life. It means getting to know people who get to know you as a person. It means volunteering, it means joining clubs or groups where you can meet new people. It doesn’t mean giving up, you never know when someone new will walk into your life.