Well first off I hate that word, I use instead integrated or blended. Passing sound like we are putting something over on people, the same goes for stealth, it has the same connotation.
On this anniversary of my transition I have discovered that being able not to be identified as trans is not what I thought it was back in 2000. Back then it was the magical Brass Ring that everyone hoped for, being able to walk around and no one identifying you as trans.
Since then I have realized that the most important thing was being left alone.
I think except for my family and few friends no one knows me from before I transitioned those are my real friends. Those who accept me for who I am.
For 59 years I lived a lie… I don’t want to live a lie anymore.
That is why I don’t take voice lessons… it is just another lie.
That is why I didn’t have FFS.
I have learned that my true friends don’t care.
There were a lot of myths that I learned after I transitioned.
I have learned that 99.999 percent of the people really don’t care and that 1 in a thousand are assholes and I don’t care about them.
I have learned that businesses only really care about if your credit card goes trough or what is the color your money.
What I have also learned most women do not wear a dress, high heels, and makeup, oh some do but most of them do so because of work.
I have heard my crossdressing friends say… “I feel so womanly when I put on my bra!” let me tell you that after fourteen years that I have leaned that the best feeling is taking off your bra and letting the girls free!
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When I am asked when I am on a panel what was the greatest cultural shock I had since I transition and I reply… “My god they talk in the bathroom!”
I also found that the comradeship between women is much deeper then between men, to me it seems like men are always on the defensive to protect their manhood.
I will end this with a story.
It was closing night for the Out Film Festival and the closing party was at the Science Center and as I was leaving I saw that I had to walk by a sports bar’s outside patio and it was all men outside on the patio. I stopped in the doorway of the Science Center as four lesbians walked by, one saw me there starring at the bar. She stopped and came back to me and asked what was wrong. I said that I wasn’t looking forward to walking by them. She took her arm in mine and said come on.
The five of us walked by the bar and sure enough the cat calls started and then some realized that we were lesbians and then the calls began of making them “real women.” The woman who took my arm stopped after we passed by the bar and asked if I was alright now. When I said said yes, she hugged me and walked off. I never knew who my guardian angels were
wonderful observations and advice!
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