When I know that I was going to transition, I knew that I had to be able to function in society and that meant shopping. Shopping for food, shopping for clothes, shopping for all of the daily thing that you have to have to live. The first time that I went out shopping was with the support group Connecticut Outreach Society; they had a meeting at a boutique called the “French Butterfly” in West Hartford. I drove there but I couldn’t bring myself to go in to the store. I just sat there staring at all the members inside; I couldn’t bring myself to walk across the parking lot.
Another time I went to a large box store to buy some summer clothes. This time, I went with a friend for support. I wanted her to stay near me while I shopped, but keep within eyesight. I just needed to know that she was there if I needed her. She just shadowed me around the store and was behind me when I went through the check out.
Later, I knew that I would have to eventually have to buy groceries. So I went to a store in the neighboring town. Once again, I couldn’t bring myself to go in to the store and I just sat out in the car and cried. The next morning I tried again and I had the same results, it wasn’t until the third time that I went into the store.
Over time, I got over my fear. However, I still do not like to go to stores that are male territory, like an auto parts store or a home improvement store.
You are feeling and reacting like a true woman, Diana... congratulations,as difficult as it may be...
ReplyDeletedeborah