As I have written about before, one of the things that we as trans-people have to learn when we transition is about socialization. There are many things that we take for granted as we are growing up but we have to learn when we transition.
For me the biggest culture shock came when I went to the restroom… women talk in the bathroom and they socialize there. Men on the other hand tend to never say word to a stranger when they past through those doors, don’t make eye contact, do you business and get the hell out of there. It is a very awkward if someone strikes up a conversation. Another thing, the men’s restrooms tend to be drab. No decoration just bare painted walls.
Women’s restroom tend to be decorated, some have flowers (they maybe plastic sometimes but they at least try to brighten up the room) and women talk to other women in the restroom. It is a total different atmosphere. (One observation: women stalls are narrower than mens)
Personally, I feel that the different is that men are so afraid that there might be called a homosexual or get hit upon by someone, that they make the atmosphere cold and negative.
Culture shock number two, “Oh, I like your blouse!” or “I like how you done your hair.” I just didn’t know how to respond at first. It was a culture shock, do you ever hear men say, “Oh, I like your shoes!” Men just do not comment on other men looks without being invited to do so. It takes a brave man to tell a stranger, “I love that sports jacket.” It is one thing to ask where you bought it and another to just say that you like it. That was why when someone told me that they liked my blouse and told them where I got it, it was an automatic response and not to take it as a complement.
Culture shock number, standing in line at a checkout counter and a woman starts a conversation with me. As a man, no one EVERY spoke to me in a checkout line before, except about poor service or “Can you get a package of gum for me?”
This is why I think that it is so great that kids are transitioning at an earlier age, they will not have to go through the strong culture barriers. They will not have 50 years of culture conditioning to break.
Of course, my lens when I was a man was colored because I always filtered my thoughts through a trans-lens. Therefore, my interpretations might be slightly off, maybe I was just scared that someone might guess my secret was the reason I was more introverted and now I have nothing to hide.
Another interesting post! Something else I hadn't considered--how women behave in the rest room!
ReplyDeleteGreat post. I know we always joke about women going to the bathroom in groups, while men *always* go alone. It's social time for women, but men act like no one else is there.
ReplyDelete