Chip On Their Shoulders

Many non trans people don’t really understand us, all they see or hear comes from a one minute news clip on TV or a three inch column in a paper.

Most people live their lives never knowing any trans person.

We on the other hand live all our lives dealing with being trans.

Some of us realize that for many of our loved ones or friends have to have time to processes us being trans. While others have no room for other to adjust to our coming out.

On Facebook there was a posts asking about how to respond to someone “Who doesn’t ‘get it’” and that lead to a long heated discussion where one person posted this comment…

It's 2021... I won't tolerate an ignorant person. Education time was 20 years ago.. and Caitlin Jenner opened everyone's eyes to the topic about in 2014.. so no. Teaching is not it. And as allies, maybe you should listen to us trans ppl rather than talk about teaching lol just saying... 2021 isn't 2010, or 2000. People had enough time..

That was in response to my post…

I remember a few years ago I was tabling at a conference on health and wellness sponsored by a local TV station. I was tabling for a LGBTQ+ family and youth service agency and when I said that we are a LGBTQ+, I got blank stares. It turns out most adults had no idea what LGBTQ+ stood for, it was their children that told them.

I bring this up because we in or allied with the the LGBTQ+ community seems to think that everyone knows as much as we do, but that is not true.

So we should always try to educate first and open up a conversation, there are some who we will never change. But there is a movable middle that we will be able to change.

Remember that our most powerful weapon that we have is our stories. Don't give up without trying.

I had a born again Christian who very, very, against trans people that I knew before I transitioned and after a few email he said that I gave him a lot to think about. I don't know if I changed his mind but one thing that I noticed was that he never again posted negative comments about us Facebook. And he is an elder Jehovah Witness.

I came out over twenty years ago and transitioned in 2007 and what I have observed over all those years is that transgender people will have a hard time if they have a chip-on-their-shoulder.

We can demand change NOW! We can rage against anyone who don’t understand us NOW! Or we can ask them why they feel that way and still down over a coffee to talk to them. I have changed people minds and I also given them reasons to question their beliefs. On this blog when I plays memes many of the other players are Christians, one of the other players who was deeply conservative Christian said that she would be willing to proofread my college papers for my MSW. She proofread many of my papers and said that I opened her eyes to the trans community.

But when she made a comment on one of my blog posts about a question she had about being trans but someone commented like the person above writing something to the effect of “I won't tolerate an ignorant person.” And she never visited or commented on my blog again. Hate drove out education.

I know people that hate all religion because they label them all as anti-LGBTQ+ but I have been invited into their congregations to help them understand trans people. I sat in the hearings for the non-discrimination bills for many years before it passed, there was also one other person who sat through them, he was an Episcopal Bishop. There was also many other denominations that also submitted testimonies in support.

One of the things that I learned in grad school for community organizing is that you go for the movable center. You thank our friends and you acknowledge those who we can’t change and you never give up trying to educate them. As long as they are willing to listen we have an opportunity change their views.

Yes you can carry a chip around or you can be willing to change people minds and never give up rather than saying… “People had enough time..”