It Is Wrong To Out Somebody

It is terribly wrong to out somebody without their permission, no matter who it is. Even if it is your son.

Carolyn Hax: Parents push transgender son to out himself in college essay
By Carolyn Hax Washington Post Writers Group
March 23, 2019

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn,

Our transgender teenage son will be applying to colleges in the fall and has started working on his college essay. His father and I feel he should use this opportunity to write about his transition to help highlight his unique perspective, maturity, and the challenges he has faced.

So far, he is against this. His goal for transitioning is to blend in — he doesn't want to be a "trans guy," he just wants to be a "guy."

We understand that, but feel like if something can be used against you, it is better to embrace it and use it to your advantage when you can. Normally, we are hands-off when it comes to his academics, but he wants to get into competitive programs and we feel like this is the edge he needs. Are we overstepping?

— To Push or Not to Push

Yes. Let your son tell his own story his own way. What a gift. More valuable in the long run, I'm guessing, than admission to Impress U.

Don’t do it!

It is one of our strongest code of ethics in the trans community… “Thou Shall No Out A Fellow Trans Person.”

Oh, oh so many times I wanted to ask someone if they were a member of the tribe but I zippered my lip.

Whether or not a person is “out” is their choice you might be thinking that they are going to be in trouble down the line but it is their choice to make, not ours.

Update: 3:30 PM

When I applied to the University of Connecticut School of Social Work in 2007 I wrote about being trans in my Personal Statement,

About six years ago, I came out as a transsexual after denying it for most of my life. I hid this part of my life from all of my family and friends.  Over time, the pressure from keeping this secret grew inside of me.  I knew that I needed to make a decision which would rectify this internal discord. As part of this journey into self-acceptance, I joined a transgender support group - the Connecticut Outreach Society. With the help of its members, I began going out into the public as Diana.  I also became more involved with the group – attending their Board meetings and taking part in outreaches at colleges and universities throughout Connecticut.

But that was my choice, it wasn’t forced on me.

---

There is legislation being pushed by the Republicans to ban the disclosure of non-profits and Pac donors, they say…

If donating meant putting you and your family at risk, would you still support causes and charities you believe in?

Yeah but then we will never know about the Koch brothers or Chick-a-fil.

U.S.’S BIGGEST CHRISTIAN CHARITY REPORTEDLY CHANNELED $56.1 MILLION TO PURPORTED HATE GROUPS
Newsweek
By Daniel Moritz-Rabson
March 20, 2019

The nation's eighth-largest nonprofit donated $56.1 million to a series of organizations identified as hate groups from 2015 to 2017, according to a report from Sludge.

National Christian Foundation, which identifies itself as the largest Christian grant maker and one of the largest donor-advised funds in the nation, has served as a vehicle for individuals trying to anonymously send money.

Donor-advised funds allow individuals sending the tax deductible contributions to remain anonymous from the IRS and instruct where they want the payments to be sent. For those donating via NCF, this meant sending money to 23 organizations that the Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled hate groups. Most of the hate organizations that received money from the NCF opposed LGBT rights. The report also found that the NCF donated to anti-Muslim and anti-immigrant organizations.

Organizations receiving the most funds from NCF included the Alliance Defending Freedom, which has advocated for sterilizing transgender individuals, and the Family Research Council, which has advocated conversion therapy. Members of the Family Research Council including Tony Perkins, the organization's president, have sought to link pedophilia and homosexuality.

The Republicans and the backer are trying to block a Democratic bill that will expose “Dark Money.”

House Democrats propose major campaign finance reforms in first bill of session
Open Secrets
By Karl Evers-Hillstrom
January 4, 2019

House Democrats on Friday officially unveiled the For the People Act, a bill meant to, in part, reduce the influence of money on politics.

During Friday’s press conference, Democrats appeared to label wealthy political donors and “special interests” as an existential threat to American democracy and argued big money is a major reason why Americans are always so disappointed with Congress.

House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.) cited the political influence of the National Rifle Association as to why generally-popular background checks on gun sales haven’t been passed, and the pharmaceutical industry and its “army of lobbyists” as to why bills to curb prescription drug costs were defeated.

“The overwhelming influence of money and special interests is a cancer in our democracy that needs to be removed,” Nadler said.

Along with mandating automatic voter registration, eliminating partisan gerrymandering and requiring Presidents to disclose tax returns, the bill puts a big focus on making campaign finance more transparent and less dominated by big money.

And the Republicans are scared stiff this bill will pass because then we will be able to see where all that “dark money” is coming from. The Koch brothers? Chick-a-fil founder?  Home Depot founder?  The Russians?

We would never know if the Democrat's bill doesn’t pass.