For a long as I can remember, I always felt that I was on the outside looking in. Now I feel that I am on the inside looking out. The feeling and perspective is different, instead of feeling like a square peg in a round hole, I feel like a oval peg in a round hole. Not quite a perfect fit.
I’m part of speakers bureau that does outreach at schools and the students sometimes ask me what is like to have been a man who is now a woman and I say that I don’t know. I never really was a man and I’m not really a woman, rather I am woman with a unique perspective on life. When I was growing up I always hung out with friends who were into cars, but that didn’t really interest me. Nor did sports interest me. At parties I always wanted to hang out with the women in the kitchen rather then with the men in the living room taking about cars and sports. Now when I hang out with the women in the kitchen, I don’t quite fit in there either, because I wasn’t socialized all my life as a woman. So it is a better fit, but not a perfect fit.
As I said in a poem that I wrote, “We are like a bridge that spans male and female” we bridge the gap, however, we are not firmly anchored to either side.
It is neither black nor white, but it all the shades of gray.
It is neither day nor night, but it is twilight.
It is neither hot nor cold, but a pleasant warmth.
It is neither truth nor a lie, but white lies.
We are like the colors of a rainbow.
We are like spices to a chef.
We are like the colors on an artist palette.
We are like a bridge that spans male and female.
Interesting perspective. I hadn't thought about the socialization aspect of growing up.
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