My Story Part 21 - The Gathering Of The Tribe

When I first came out and started going to the support group, the Connecticut Outreach Group, members talked about going to conferences in Boston and on Cape Cod. They all raved about the good time and fun they had at the conferences, so I thought that I would attend one and see what it was like.

But going to a conference meant the I had to tell a little “white lie” I couldn’t tell my family or work where I was really going, so I invited a cover story. I wrote this in my diary,

October 12th, 2000
It’s getting closer to the Fantasia Fair, but as it does I have to lie to Mom and Dad and I hate it! I don’t really like it and I might not go to another event, this make me feel so bad lying to them. This is really downer…

This on the other hand evolves two lies, one at work - I’m going up to my brothers to help on his house and the other for family - I’m going to a computer show in Boston. Well, where in Boston, who’s going, what are you going to see, how do we get in touch with you, etc. etc…. “Oh, what a tangle web we weave when at first we do deceive… “ or however Shakespeare said it.

October 17th, 2000
An other white lie last night, [my brother] called an asked about my trip to Boston. I’m torn between wanting to go to Provincetown, but I hate all these lies. I have to think of a way to at least come out of the closet to [my brother], but I worry about the consequence.
I’m off to P’town, I made the commitment, so now I have to live with the out come. Hopefully, no more lies and that I will have a good time there and not worrying about Mom and Dad finding out.

When I got to Provincetown and checked in to the Bed and Breakfast, I walked down to the where you registered for the conference and the filled with trans-people. It was amazing, to see all these other people who were just like me and they came from all over the U.S. and the world. There were people from Europe, South America, Canada. There were people there that I had read about or saw on TV.

There were workshops to attend during the day and at night we went out to dinner with friends or to the Banquet or the follies. There was always something to do or some friends to sit around and talk politics with or you could just wander around P’town by yourself.

I made many new friends and every year it became a kind of like a family ritual when the family came together for a picnic. Not only at Fantasia Fair, but also all the other conferences that I attended each year, I also saw a lot of the sane friends at those conferences. It is like the gathering of the tribes.