Fighting The Board

What happens when a school board rules to ignore the laws and institutes anti-trans policies?

For family of trans child, idyllic life in Hastings is no more
A school board election turned nasty when a kid was brought into politics. That was the Waits family's worst nightmare.
Star Tribune
By Reid Forgrave
December 11, 2021


If you know the name Kit Waits, it is probably because the third-grader from Hastings has become a symbol for transgender children after a CNN feature last month turned this community upside down.

Like many mid-western towns they are very conservative and do like change and when a child came out as trans all the animosity came out.

In a place that's 94% white, some leaders have tried to combat Hastings' lack of diversity. The school district recently received a large grant for diversity, equity and inclusion. A few years ago, the city and the school district released a joint resolution expressing commitment to diversity, equity and inclusion, including for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people.

After that, eight local pastors signed a letter against the "promotion of transgenderism,"writing, "We are not willing to sacrifice our children on an altar of social experimentation and political correctness." One church hosted a speaker who spoke against transgender issues. A local community group, Thrive in Hastings, countered by hosting a transgender lawyer for a Transgender 101 community class.

And who is stuck in the middle of the group that are trying to impose their religion on others?

It is the child.

But the school board election turned nasty and personal. A Facebook group, Concerned Parents of Hastings, outed Kit several times and made threats against the family. "She should be locked up for child abuse," wrote one commenter. "Her younger 'daughter' is actually a boy." Kelsey lost.

Kelsey said Kit being transgender was a closely held secret. It was clear to her that Kit's situation is different from Kelsey being a tomboy who grew up not conforming to societal views of femininity. Kit identifies as gender nonbinary, meaning they identify neither as a boy or a girl.

The hatred turned ugly, with threats, and bullying.

But now the secret is out. Telling the family's story became a way to turn something bad into something good.
[...]
It has been a rough several months for the Waits family. Their perfect home turned into a place they no longer consider safe. There had been uncomfortable moments before: a mom at a kids' playgroup who said she couldn't guarantee Kit's safety, the event at the church against transgender issues. But all that was a subtle prelude to the outing on Facebook, which led them to leave Hastings.

Hate won.

We see this all over the country, the hate has been fanned by politics, the lose of civility replace by threats and profanity which has became normal. Some guy down the end of my street where school busses drive by has signs on his front lawn with profanities against President Biden. To parents yell profanities over the heads of preschoolers when the president visited the daycare. Right-wing politics has embolden them to do thing that four years ago they would never have done.

How do we break this cycle of hate crimes? How do we get back civility in our public discussions?

At one time when I was interning at a family support agency for LGBTQ+ children there was talk that we were getting a person doing community service for a hate crime against LGBTQ+ person. Is that the answer having them the perpetrator of a hate crime do work with their targets? Or will that put everyone in danger?

Can you reeducate a hater? By knowing us can that change a person or will that only work for some and actually increase the hate in others?

Out on the west coast there was a study done that found that intervention done at an early age works, but it has to start in kindergarten. The teachers have to be trained to spot anti-social behavior, in a paper for the Safe School Coalition that I was on and for my internship, I wrote…

Furthermore, in a paper by California Department of Education (2002) titled, “What We’ve Learned About Safe and Effective Schools “ they found that anti-bullying intervention had to start early, not just in the middle or high schools, but in the elementary schools. The report stated that “Teachers in Beaverton Oregon elementary schools who were trained to spot children with anti-social behaviors who were then taught how to play together. The program reduced suspensions from 175 a year to less than a dozen.” (p. 12) Some of the other findings to reduce bullying according to the report were, teaching respect for others, generate self respect, and reward achievement. (p. 13 & 14) They also report that,

Create community connections—A dynamic partnership with the community includes volunteers and mentors in the classroom, health and family services on campus, community members on every committee, and recognition and incentive programs for the students. (California Department of Education, 2002, p. 16)

In addition, the report points out that the community involvement should include law enforcement agencies and parents. It also reported that the parental involvement should begin before their children start kindergarten. (p. 16)

Hillary Clinton was right it does take a whole village to raise a child, to show them that it is wrong to hate, something the village of Hastings is not teaching their children.

If you want to read some more about the articles that I reference here is the “Works Cited” for my paper,

Works Cited

• Ali, R. (2010, October 26). Dear Colleague Letter: Harassment and Bullying. Retrieved November 16, 2010, from U. S. Department of Education: http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/letters/colleague-201010.pdf
• Batsche, G., & Knoff, H. (1994). BULLIES AND THEIR VICTIMS: UNDERSTANDING A PERVASIVE PROBLEM IN THE SCHOOLS. School Psychology Review , 23, pp. 165 - 175.
• California Department of Education. (2002). What We’ve Learned About Safe and Effective Schools. Retrieved October 29, 2010, from Safe Schools: A Planning Guide for Action: http://www.gonzales.k12.ca.us/ssf/Safe_Schools_Planning/SSG2.PDF
• Cohen, J. (Summer 2006). Social, Emotional, Ethical, and Academic Education: Creating a Climate for Learning, Participation in Democracy, and Well-Being. (2. 237, Ed.) Harvard Educational Review , 76 (2).
• Eisenberg, M., Neumark-Sztainer, D., & Perry, C. (2003, October). Peer Harassment, School Connectedness and Academic Achievement. Journal of School Health , pp. p. 311 - 316.
• Espelage, D., & Swearer, S. (2003). Reseach on School Bullying and Victimization: What Have We Learned and Where Do We Go From Here. School Psychology Review , 32 (3), pp. 365 - 383.
• Fonagy, P., Twemlow, S., Vernberg, E., Sacco, F., & Little, T. (2005, Vol 11(7)). Creating a peaceful school learning environment: the impact of an antibullying program on educational attainment in elementaryschools. Medical Science Monitor , pp. CR317-325.
• Konishi, C., Hymel, S., Zumbo, B., & Li, Z. (2010). Do School Bullying and Student–Teacher Relationships Matter for Academic Achievement? Canadian Journal of School Psychology , 25 (1), pp. 19 - 38.
• Newman-Carlson, D., & Horne, A. (Summer 2004). Bully Busters: A Psychoeducational Intervention for Reducing Bullying Behavior in Middle Schools. Journal of Counseling and Development , 82 (3), pp. 259 - 267.
• Twemlow, S., Fonagy, P., Sacco, F., Gies, R., Evans, R., & Ewbank, R. (2001, MAY). Creating a Peaceful School Learning Environment: A Controlled Study of an Elementary School Intervention to Reduce Violence. Retrieved 10 29, 2010, from American Journal Psychiatry: http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/reprint/158/5/808