Dear Abby: Should grandma tell girl, 7, that her playmate is transgender?
Woman doesn’t disapprove of the child’s gender status but also doesn’t like keeping secrets.
Chicago Sun Times
By Abigail Van Buren
September 23, 2020
DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, “Leyla,” has a playmate who is a transgender girl. My fear is that she may find out the truth and feel betrayed by her playmate as well as me. Should I explain it to her?
It doesn’t matter to me that her friend is transgender because I have always believed that a person’s most important trait is having good morals. I’m an upfront and honest person. However, with respect to this subject, I feel that if I remain silent, it’s as though I’m somehow betraying my granddaughter.
To me it sounds like it does matter to her otherwise she wouldn’t be a “Buttinsky.”
DEAR GRAN: Do Leyla’s parents know about the friendship? Assuming they do, have a chat with them, as well as the playmate’s parents, to make sure you’re all on the same page. I do not think you should “out” Leyla’s playmate to her. But I DO think it is time you start talking to your granddaughter about gender and what makes a girl a girl and what makes a boy a boy.
We face this predicament everyday, do we tell or don’t we out ourselves?
For many of us we don’t have a choice, there is no way that we can not be “read” as trans but for many others they can integrate into society.
What about you, do you think that the girl should be told or do you think Dear Abby made the right call?