To Be Seen Or To Be Invisible

That is you choice to make not mine to make for you. You have to decide but for many trans people there is no doubt that they are trans. Here are two articles (one is a year old but the message is still current) about being out.

Why Transgender Visibility Matters to Me
"I can be visible now."
Teen Vogue
By Stella Keating
March 31, 2018

In this op-ed, Stella Keating, a 13-year-old transgender girl living in Washington state, explains what Transgender Day of Visibility means to her.

In many ways, I’m a lot like my peers. At 13, I enjoy listening to music, reading, and shopping. I draw, play violin and ukulele, and love social media.

But in other ways, I’m different than many of my classmates. For one, I love history and politics. Hamilton is my anthem and I know the lyrics to the musical by heart. When I picture my future, a life working in politics and government is a constant. Someday I hope to maybe even run for office.
[…]
Being out has allowed me to support other trans youth. I am a resource for my teachers, school staff and allies. Sharing our family’s story models that we are just like many other families. We laugh, cry, sometimes argue (mostly about cleaning my room or practicing violin), and love each other unconditionally.
[…]
To all my peers who hear mean comments, who face bullying and who wonder whether they can reach their dreams, know that you are not alone. In the words of my favorite musical Hamilton, “I know that we can win, I know that greatness lies in you. But remember from here on in, history has its eyes on you.”

Yesterday I was on a panel to help future doctors become knowledgeable in treating us when they have a trans client and this afternoon I will be on a panel at another university in the eastern part of the state.

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I am not a fan of humor when it gets its laughs from marginalizing others.

NZ Herald apologises for 'offensive' transgender comic strip
News Hub
By Sophie Bateman
April 10, 2019
The New Zealand Herald has apologised for publishing a cartoon widely condemned as transphobic.

Instalments of the UK comic Alex regularly appear in the Business section of the newspaper. First printed in 1987, Alex is set in a satirical corporate financial environment.

Wednesday's strip showed two male bankers discussing their colleague 'Stephanie', a transgender woman drawn as a masculine-looking figure in a skirt and high heels.

One of the men observes that "as a transgender, Stephanie has a really good deal". He goes on to say that she is permitted to take time off work to receive medical treatments and therapy as part of her transition "with no questions asked".

"Basically she has carte blanche to skive off at will on the bank's time, and even when she comes back to work no one dares challenge her... unlike if she was still a man," he says.

The other man notes Stephanie's voice is "more gravelly than ever", which his co-worker explains is because she's been bunking off work to cheer at a rugby game.

The comic was roundly criticised when it was posted to the r/newzealand Reddit forum. It's also been called bigoted by Twitter users, some of whom questioned whether NZME deserved its 'Rainbow Tick', which is awarded to companies that show solidarity with the LGBT community.

Yes it is a hatefully comic strip it generates laughs at our expense. They thought they could get away with poking fun at an oppressed community and the question is why? They knew they couldn’t use race or religion but for some reason they thought we were fair game.

The newspaper thought that this would help…

"We sincerely apologise for the offence caused by the cartoon - we believe it was meant to highlight transphobia and was not intended to be offensive to the transgender community," they told Newshub.

"The cartoon missed the mark. We will be more vigilant in future."

The apology “missed the mark” because it shows a complete lack of understanding of the trans culture, they didn’t have a clue that the opposition uses the same type of message to marginalize us. They  “missed the mark” because it shows a complete lack of understanding that for many trans people they cannot integrate into society because they will always be identified as trans.

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I am at a speaking engagement on the Day of Visibility at a university in the eastern part of the state, the topic is “Building Resilience in Times of Backlash” and our legacy, how you are working to achieve it.

We all have to make the decision on whether to be out or in the closet and we cannot judge the decision that they made. We do not know their family situation, or how their employer would react with them being out. We do not know if they can cope with being out. So don’t judge people on the Trans Day of Visibility or National Coming Out Day, respect their choices.