My Story Part 88 – The Cottage

Back in 1981 my parents bought our New Hampshire lake cottage and my parents use to live up there during the summer. Just before Thanksgiving they use to close up the cottage for winter and then in April or May they would go north and open it up for the season. In the winter they use to rent a condo in Florida, so for most of the year I had their house all to myself. I lived at their house until I was in my mid-forties, I mowed the lawn in the summer, shoveled the driveway in the winter and forwarded their mail to New Hampshire or Florida. Then in 1990 my aunt retired and moved in with us, she didn’t like New Hampshire so she stayed at the house during the summer and went with them to Florida, which was when I moved out, I couldn’t be Diana when she was there.

During the summer I would go up to the cottage when they had to come back to town for doctor visits. While I was at the cottage, I was Diana. There were a few close calls when a neighbor can up to the door and knocked or when I was down by the dock in my bathing suit reading and a neighbor came out and sat in his dock reading, I was stuck there until he left.

Back in the eighties, we had a neighbor who lived there year round and they had a delinquent teenage son, who one time broke in to the cottage and stole all the alcohol. But he did something much worst. I was up there as Diana lying on the couch read one night and I heard voices and giggling outside the dining room window. I got up and walked into the other room and turned on the outside spotlight, I saw three boys running away and one of them was the neighbor kid. I cried all night curled up in a ball, I left the next day and I cried on the way home. I couldn’t tell anyone, I couldn’t call the police and tell them about the peeping toms for fear of being victimized by the police, I couldn’t tell my parents because I wasn’t out to them. I kept it bottled up inside. At the family Christmas party that year I was talking to my cousin who had a boyfriend whose parents had a cottage up on our lake and she said that he told her that there was a crossdresser up at the lake, I froze and couldn’t say anything (when I finally came out to the family before I transitioned, I found out that she didn’t know it was me.).

Fast forward to a couple of years ago we were working on the cottage spreading stone around the foundation, the stepfather came over and was talking to my brother. He said that his stepson has a back hoe and he could help us spread the stone. When he left to call his stepson, I freaked out, I don’t remember much after that, I think I told my brother about the peeping tom, but I’m not sure, it was all a blur. I packed my bags and left before he got there to help out. Later, when I told my brother about the whole incident, I don’t think it really sunk in about how strongly I felt that I was violated that night.

I debated with myself and talked a friend about posting this entry, but I think that it serves a purpose in educating people about how trans-people are victimized not only be others but also by society. How many crimes against the community go unreported for fear of not only “Outing” ourselves but also fear of being revictimized by the police or others in authority (EMTs, doctors, nurses, etc.).